Emma
But there was nothing wrong with me.
My eyes shifted around the room. My body shook vigorously. Beads of sweat formed on my exposed skin. I was beneath him. I had to look up at him. I had to nod to him if I liked what he was doing. I had to speak if I didn’t. I had to take orders from someone else. I looked up at him, and exhaled a deep breath. Braden was on top of me, and for the first time in a long time, I was nervous.
“We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
“I want to, Braden. I’ve just never been in this position before.”
Braden let out a muffled chuckle. “I’ve never seen someone so worked up about sex.”
I glared at him, and for a second, I wanted to strangle him. Couldn’t he just be the submissive one as usual? Why did he want to be the master this time? I was the master. He was the slave.
But as of right now, the roles were switched as if he were the one committing all these murders. As if he were the one controlling things. As if he were me, and I was him.
The thought of me being submissive to anyone frightened me. I never trusted anyone because they could be the reason I got sentenced to death row. I knew that my actions were enough to sentence me to death row, but I didn’t need someone else’s help getting there. That was the reason I was always the master in this relationship.
Did I just call Braden and I a relationship? Were we a relationship?
Never mind that. We weren’t a relationship as far as the voices were concerned, and they were very concerned, telling me I had gone soft. I was an evil, black-hearted murderer. I was the female version of Sweeney Todd, minus the cannibalism.
“Emma?” I shook up my head, and I saw Braden looking at me with concern. “Are you okay?”
I nodded, faking a smile and wrapping my trembling legs around his waist, waiting for his thrusts. They came shortly after he placed light kisses against my jawline. A sensation of tingles followed each kiss.
He continued thrusting into me, with a little more force than the previous. He looked into my eyes and smiled. It was the first time I had ever seen him smile since I had met him.
“Emma, I love you.”
My heart stopped. No. He couldn’t love me. He couldn’t fucking love me. I realized I had asked him a week prior to that moment, but still the answer was no. I couldn’t let him love me. Why did he love me? Why? He was stupid enough for following me around, but now he was just fucking screwing with me to say that.
I got up, dressing myself, and ran from the room.
“We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
“I want to, Braden. I’ve just never been in this position before.”
Braden let out a muffled chuckle. “I’ve never seen someone so worked up about sex.”
I glared at him, and for a second, I wanted to strangle him. Couldn’t he just be the submissive one as usual? Why did he want to be the master this time? I was the master. He was the slave.
But as of right now, the roles were switched as if he were the one committing all these murders. As if he were the one controlling things. As if he were me, and I was him.
The thought of me being submissive to anyone frightened me. I never trusted anyone because they could be the reason I got sentenced to death row. I knew that my actions were enough to sentence me to death row, but I didn’t need someone else’s help getting there. That was the reason I was always the master in this relationship.
Did I just call Braden and I a relationship? Were we a relationship?
Never mind that. We weren’t a relationship as far as the voices were concerned, and they were very concerned, telling me I had gone soft. I was an evil, black-hearted murderer. I was the female version of Sweeney Todd, minus the cannibalism.
“Emma?” I shook up my head, and I saw Braden looking at me with concern. “Are you okay?”
I nodded, faking a smile and wrapping my trembling legs around his waist, waiting for his thrusts. They came shortly after he placed light kisses against my jawline. A sensation of tingles followed each kiss.
He continued thrusting into me, with a little more force than the previous. He looked into my eyes and smiled. It was the first time I had ever seen him smile since I had met him.
“Emma, I love you.”
My heart stopped. No. He couldn’t love me. He couldn’t fucking love me. I realized I had asked him a week prior to that moment, but still the answer was no. I couldn’t let him love me. Why did he love me? Why? He was stupid enough for following me around, but now he was just fucking screwing with me to say that.
I got up, dressing myself, and ran from the room.