Senior Year

The word long doesn't even begin to describe the odds stacked against me and my desire for this relationship. It's kind of desperate, but to stick with something like this is more like a hopeless romantic kind of thing. It's just been awesome hanging out with her and getting to know her from last year and into this year. The gestures are there, the language is there, but the initiation, the confidence, are lacking. The anxiety and fear is there, and it won't leave. (This girl is different than the one I've been talking about.) I'm waiting to see the development, but I don't think I'm going to pursue this anytime soon. Especially considering I have a shitload of stuff to do. I have to do a 4000 word essay, 2-1600 word essays, a math exploration, and college apps. Time is a resource that is scarce, and I need more of it. It's getting exponentially harder to juggle sports, school, and social life. I've also been less concerned with getting into the UC system. Tons of people don't go to UC's and they do perfectly fine; getting into a UC is a long shot anyway. Don't get me wrong, I would take the chance to go to a UC in a heartbeat, but if I don't get in, I'm not stressing. I can enjoy life out of state in a nice environment and still do something I love. There's just one problem, I haven't decided my major yet. I know going in undeclared is a possibility, but it's one I really don't want to explore.

Last 4 games of the water polo season coming up in these next two weeks. Then off to my final season of soccer.

"Long shots don't happen if you don't take them."