Headfirst for Halos

For the next few hours we talk non-stop. That is until a member of the backstage crew walks in. A member who happens to be female. A this point both of the boys turn their attention immediately to her. It seems irrational but jealousy bubbles up inside of me.
‘Oh look! Someone else who doesn’t really want you.’
Ahhh it seems it’s time for me to introduce you to Sherelle. Sherelle is the voice in my head. Yes I name the voice in my head! You got a problem with that? Talk to my lawyer! Well the jokes on you because I don’t have a lawyer! Maybe Frankie has a lawyer. I shall ask him.

Anyway, Sherelle has been there as long as I can remember. She makes me a better person. Honest. It may not be the best way to go about it but she does.

‘You know that Frankie was only joking don’t you? He doesn’t really want a kid. Who would want you? Look at the way he’s looking at that girl. You know that he would rather fuck her than look after you. And look at Gerard. You thought for a moment he might like you didn’t you? You stupid girl’

I had thought for a moment that Gerard might like me. Stranger things have happened. I clear my throat to try and get Frankie’s attention back on me. He remains stood with his back to me talking to the girl. Both him and Gerard are oblivious to me. Sherelle is right. No one could ever love me.

I stand up suddenly and push past Frankie and the girl stood in the doorway. I can’t believe I fell for it! No one has ever wanted to adopt me! How could I think that someone like Frank Iero would want me?

I run along winding corridors, through open doorways and soon come to a small coat cupboard.
I go inside and sit in top of an up turned bucket. Well this sucks! Talk about the highs and lows of showbiz!

Soon I hear approaching footsteps and a shadow falls across the floor as the person comes to a stop just in front of the door. The door swings open to reveal Frank stood there. He is breathing heavily as if he’s been running and his hair is hanging in front of one of his eyes. He looks nervous, as if he’s not too sure what to say. He tilts his head slightly and his hair flops into his other eye. He looks a bit like a puppy. A very cute puppy. A puppy that I just want to cuddle and snuggle and…
‘Ok, Hannah, focus! You’re mad at him! He doesn’t want you!’ Sometimes I wish Sherelle would go away but this time, she’s right. I am mad at him!

“What do you want?” I ask Frank as he enters the cupboard and sits on top of a box. I then laugh as the box top gives way and he finds himself with his bum stuck in the box. He quickly stands and composes himself. He obviously decides not to take any chances with another box and remains standing as we talk.

“I came to talk to you. What’s wrong Han?” I feel a tear trickle down my face as I remember that my mother used to call me that. I miss her so much. She was the last person I remember telling me they loved me.

“If you didn’t want me why didn’t you just say?” I sniffle un-attractively. Great! I meet a worldwide rock star and here I am with red eyes and a nose like Rudolph because he doesn’t want me. How could I have been so stupid as to think he would even want me in the first place?

“I do Han.”

“Well why did you ignore me?”

“I didn’t, we were just talking about stuff for the show. Both Gerard and me really care about this band and we just want the show to be amazing for the fans. Gerard and me are the main people in charge of shows and the way they run.”

“So it had nothing to do with the fact that she was a girl?” I ask shyly.

“Well, I guess I did pay slightly more attention to her than I would to a huge hairy dude.” He says grinning, “But you’ll always be my number on girl.” He holds out his arms and I jump up and throw my arms around him.

“Han, don’t worry. You can stay with us tonight then I’ll sort out about adopting you tomorrow.” He smiles at me. “I’m going to be a Daddy!” he squeals happily squeezing me tightly to him.

“Yeah” I reply “and I’m going to have a family.” He spins me around and finally puts me down.

“It’s going to be alright kiddo,” Frankie whispers to me, “I promise.”