Headfirst for Halos

“Gerard what the fuck! Are you fucking stupid?” I scream at him. How could he be so careless? Doesn’t he know how many people love him and rely on him. He says he cares about his fans but here he is taking a class A drug! What an idiot!

“Han, please,” he whispers. He puts his head down and stares at the floor. “Don’t tell anyone, please.”

“Gerard, how could you be so stupid? Do you know how dangerous this stuff is?” I shout at him brandishing the bottle. I feel like his mother. How has no-one else noticed this?

“I know, I know,” He says scuffing his converse along the floor. “I just needed to escape.’

“Escape what?” I ask him.

“Life” he replies. Why would he want to escape his life? His life fucking rocks!

“Gerard, your life is amazing, you have millions of fans who love you. Why would you want to escape that?”

“It’s the pressure Han, I just can’t take it. There are so many expectations put upon me. My whole life is scrutinised by everyone. There is so much that people expect me to be. What if I’m not good enough? You say that all these fans love me, but no one has ever loved me. Not really.”

“Gerard, I love you.” Where the hell did that come from? Do I love him? I think he is fucking gorgeous. But, do I really love him? I really don’t know. “I won’t tell anyone.” I stutter out before turning to leave. Well that was a stupid thing to say wasn’t it?! I don’t even think I do love him. How can you love someone that you’ve only just met. I don’t know what this feeling is but it can’t be love, right?

“Han?” he calls after me. I turn to look at him.

“I love you too.” He smiles. I reach out for his hand and grab it. I pull him close to me. 
“If you need to escape, you can lose yourself in me.” I say smiling shyly at him, “I don’t want you doing drugs anymore.”

“It’s not that easy to quit,” He replies staring at the ground.

“I know Gerard, but I want you to try. For me.”
“Okay,” he finally concedes. He pulls me in closer to him and kisses me gently. We both pull away when we hear the door handle turn.
Moments later Mikey pokes his head round the door.
“It’s showtime!”

*TIME ELAPSE *

After the concert, the guys run off stage.

“Hey guys.” Says Frankie. Bob walks over to Casey and pecks her on the lips.

“That happened fast!” I laugh.

“I’m a fast mover!” says Casey entwining her hand in Bob’s.

“Okay then… let’s get back to the bus.” Says Frankie raising his eyebrows slightly at Gerard, who is looking slightly worst for where.

When we arrive back at the bus, the guys all take it in turns using the bathroom to clean up, apart from Gerard who is too busy throwing up into a bucket. Nice! I always choose the classiest of men to fall in love with.

“What’s up with Gee?” Casey whispers to me, looking concerned.

“Ecstasy.” I reply quietly, looking around to make sure that no one else is listening in. I know I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone, but surely Casey doesn’t count, right?

Casey gasps,“Really? What an idiot!” She looks over to where Gerard has finally stopped throwing up and is sipping water quietly, deep in thought.

“I know” I whisper back, then without thinking, I blurt out, “I told him I loved him”

“You did what?!” Casey gasps, looking at me as if I’ve just killed a small puppy.