Chelsea Dawn

"He said what, que mierda el esta diciendo?", asked Juan in disbelief.

"Verdad, Juanin. Johnny's brother is a piece of work, he's happy running a brothel and being a gangster and he thinks it's awesome to be a pimp. No wonder Johnny wants out", said Fernando as the men prepared to leave for Stamford Bridge.

"Verdad, I wouldn't want to do that if I had a pregnant wife. And I hope Swansea is as bad as Glasgow", said Juan with a frown.

"Probably is, British cities back then were so dirty and they didn't start getting cleaned up until the 90's", replied Fernando.

The two Spaniards arrived at Stamford Bridge as a coach pulled up outside the player's entrace. "OI, glad to see you, mates. It's only five hours to Swansea, the Welsh birds are nice and they like to drink", said Jack with a laugh.

"You really like the ladies, verdad?", teased Fernando.

"Aye, being on Chelsea you really pull in the birds. And the Welsh ladies are nice, if you like brunettes and they have the nicest accent. Just stay away from the Welsh blokes, they don't like Englishmen over there", said the goalkeeper.

"Si, because the English own the mines and the big businesses", said Juan.

"Yeah, but it's not my bloody fault. I was born poor in the East End and I got some money now, I'm not a toff and will never be", said Jack defiantly.

The team came to attention when manager Hamilton boarded the bus, the team following suit. Fernando and Juan were at least glad that the bus had been cleaned since their last trip to Glasgow, finding seats in the middle as the players sat down around them. "The Marches are lovely, all green and hilly and lots of farms and much of Wales is nice too. Swansea is an ugly munting place, but it's a rough port city full of sailors and coal miners. Just stick with me and I'll show you some good pubs", said George with a laugh.

"Are you Welsh?", asked Juan.

"My nan was Welsh, from Rhondda. She didn't like living in the valleys with all the mines so she became a rich ladies' maid in London, she married my Grandpa whom she met in London. That's why I can sing right good", said the midfielder with a chucjkle.

"Really, what do you sing?", asked Fernando.

"Me family is Methodist so I know the hymns, but I also like the newer stuff, jazz and the bird singers. Nan says it's a Welsh thing, all of us can sing right good", he chuckled.

"Do you have any relatives going to the game?", asked Juan.

"Yeah, me uncles and aunts from Rhondda, they're Swans fans all the way, though, but they'll like it if i get a goal. Rhondda is dirty as hell, has the biggest bleedin' coal mines you ever ever and all the soot and the slag heaps everywhere. All of it owned by toffs in London, since you're Spanish they'll be nice to you 'cus you're not English", said George.

"I had an idea, Evans is a Welsh name and you look Welsh", said Juan.

"You're a smart little bloke, Juan. Yeah, Evans is a common Welsh name and many Welsh folks got black hair and are tan like me, and we all can sing", laughed George.

The doors of the coach closed and it backed away from the curb as the driver headed out west outside the city. After a few miles of small towns surrounding the city they found themselves in the sort of rural, unspoiled countryside that had disappeared from modern England, all hedgerows and small clumps of forests interspersed with neat little farms and clean villages made of warm brown stone. Most of the team were sleeping or reading newspapers or playing cards, the manager and his assistants up front going over lineups and drinking from a flask of rye.

Fernando gazed out the window and became thoughtful, the landscape reminding him of the Shire. I ought to see if the Hobbit was published yet, this looks so much like the Shire, he mused.

Meanwhile, Juan had taken out his copy of The Once and Future King and began to read, the scenery outside looking dull to him. I guess this is appropriate, we are on our way to Wales and Arthur's people were from there, that or Cornwall, he mused.

The coach arrived in Swansea about five hours later as it parked outside a hotel in city centre. The sun was just beginning to set over Tiger Bay and its dying rays reflected on the still waters, the massive cranes silent for the night and big coal barges and cargo ships moored in the harbor. "It's ugly here when the factories are running, the docks are full of brothels and the west sort of bars and the birds they got are so feckin' ugly, reckon they feel the sailors can't tell the difference if they're plastered", said Jack as they got off the bus.

"Verdad, sailors are the same wherever", said Fernando philosophically.

Manager Hamilton gave everyone their keys and bid them goodnight. "See you blokes in a bit, I'll show you a great place I know", said George.

Juan opened the door to the room and placed his suitcase on the bed, unpacking a few things as Fernando followed suit. "Swansea doesn't look too bad now, any place is good after Glasgow", he said.

"Si, Juanin. And I'd like to see where George takes us, it's good to have a Welshman on the team", said Fernando with a chuckle.

"Si, I'd hate to be wondering about Swansea and not knowing any Welsh", agreed Juan.

Juan took a shower and tied a towel around his waist as he left the bathroom and went to shave, placing a bowl of warm water, a small towel, soap and a razor on the dresser as Fernando went to use the bathroom. He hummed under his breath and carefully shaved his beard, wiping his face with the towel and slapping aftershave on his face as he winced. "You are using that stuff, Juanin?", teased Fernando.

"Si, that's the stuff they used back then", he chuckled.

Juan changed into gray slacks and a white shirt with a gray waistcoat over the shirt, adding a red tie for color as he combed his brown hair. Fernando changed into black slacks and a white shirt with a black suit jacket, a gray porkpie hat over his short ginger hair. "Both of us look muy Ingles, verdad?", he laughed.

"You two look like real Englishmen, mates", said George with a chuckle.

"We live in England so we ought to dress like Englishmen, verdad?", said Juan with a smile.

Soon George, Juan, Fernando and a few of their teammates found themselves at the Ddraig Werdd pub down the street. It was about three quarters full with punters seated at the bar drinking pints and shots of whiskey while a few others played darts or snooker in the corner, waitresses dodging the pawing hands of the punters to serve food and drinks to the people at the tables. A jukebox in the corner played a George Formby song and the scent of cigarette smoke lingered in the air along with the scent of food and beer and cologne to create a very unique aroma.

"A pint of bitters and a round of Dewar's, luv", said George to the pretty buxom brunette waitress as she giggled flirtaciously.

"She's a good looking bird, Welsh girls are nice", said Jack approvingly.

"What place has the best looking girls?", asked Juan curiously.

"Wales, anywhere in Yorkshire, Carlisle, Newcastle. Wales got a lot of brunette gals with black hair and northern English girls tend to be very blond or have ginger hair, there's more brown hair in the south. Brown hair is boring", said Jack dismissively.

"And the ugliest?", teased Juan.

"The East End, Birmingham, Manchester, any place with a lot of factories. A lot of those birds are fat and pasty and have ugly accents, they start all slim when you marry 'em but they bloat up like a balloon in two years", said Jack as George laughed.

"That makes sense", agreed Fernando.

"You got to try the meat pie, they make it with lamb and the gravy has a lot of leeks in it", said George.

"That sounds good, I'm not familiar with Welsh food", said Juan.

"And I don't know any Spanish food, it's not spicy, is it? Mustard and garlic make me sweat and I need a big pint of beer cuz I canna have anything hot", said Jack.

"No, Mexican food is spicy. If you ever go to Spain, you ought to try paella", said Fernando.

"That is good, it's a rice dish with all kinds of fish and vegetables and chicken and they make it really good in Valencia", said Juan.

"Nice, you blokes got good taste", said George as their beers arrived.