The Process of Losing and Gaining

Vic and I walked out of the shop a few minutes later after I exchanged numbers with Ryan.
“You wanna go down to the beach?” He asked.
I thought about it for a minute as I tied Mike’s hoodie around my waist, and I was about to agree when my belly rumbled.
“Um, I’m actually pretty hungry.”
“Hmm…” He had a mischievous look in his eyes as he glanced down the street.
“Do you like burritos?” He questioned. I gave him a look of disgust and watched his face drop. “I’m just kidding!” I push him lightly, “I love burritos.”
“This is why I don’t trust chicks!” He joked and I laugh, “Feed me, Vic.”
Our short jaunt down La Jolla Boulevard consisted mostly of me trailing behind Vic and insisting that I could carry my new board myself. “I just want to appreciate its beauty,” he stated, and began talking about where we were about to eat.
“I just want to warn you,” he started, “it’s really nothing special. I took my ex-girlfriend here once and she refused to eat in because it looked run down.” He used air quotes when he said run down. He stopped walking and turned to look at me before continuing, “I promise you though, this is the best Mexican food you’ll ever have…besides my mom’s.” I giggled at that, and stopped before I made myself look even dumber.
“We’re here.” I turned to look at the building next to us. The sign read “Quality Mexican Grill,” and Vic stated with his arms wide, “Don Bravo.”
We entered the little restaurant and Vic asked the hostess if we could along the back windows.
“Sure, of course,” she sat us and asked for our drink orders. We both requested water and took a look at the menus. Well, I did. Vic already knew what he wanted.
“I never get anything but the chicken chimichanga. Never.” He stared me down but was unable to contain his serious face and he laughed, “But seriously. Anything you get is going to be awesome.” After scanning the menu I decided on chicken and potato tacos, despite wanting a burrito. I didn’t know Vic well enough to be comfortable eating something that messy in front of him. After the waitress took our orders I looked out over the ocean through the windows. The cool thing about San Diego is all the hills. Even though we were a few streets from the water we still had a good view from where we sat. Vic finished his food before me and stared out into the sky. He interrupted my thoughts just as I was taking my last bite.
“So you and Mike, huh?” I almost choked.
“What?” He only wiggled his eyebrows in reply.
“Oh God, no,” he looked taken aback and I quickly amended the situation, “I mean, the other night was the first time we met, so...”
“But you were wearing his hoodie,” he looked me up and down as we stood up to leave, “you’re still wearing it.”
I moved to grab money from my bag but Vic threw a twenty down on the table before I could unzip my wallet.
“I can pay for mys-” he cut me off, “And I can pay for both of us.” I rolled my eyes and he continued, “Anyway, stop avoiding the subject. Mike.”
We started down the street towards the water and I grabbed my board from Vic, briefly debating on bombing the hill. I decided against it; I’m not one for speed, especially with this hipper from earlier.
“Like I said, I just met you guys,” I shrugged. He was silent for a while and then questioned, “So you’re single?” His tone was joking, but his eyes glinted as he watched my reaction, telling a different story. I nodded and sighed. By now we’d reached the beach and I remembered that I’d put my bikini on this morning, just in case. It ended up being lucky, because I was in the mood to go into the water. We stashed our stuff and I shrugged my jeans off, Vic avoided staring as he pulled his shirt off. I followed suit and I felt his eyes on me. Suddenly I was grateful for his quietness, as he either ignored or simply didn’t notice the scars that covered my body. I have a bit of a history with self-harm. Okay a lot of history.
I continued our conversation, “Recently single, actually. Umm, I really only came here because I didn’t have anywhere else to go after I left him, and I had to get away.”
“What happened?” he questioned, and I shook my head, I didn’t feel like having this conversation. I turned to him as he was running a hand through his hair. I hadn’t realized until now that he’s a little taller than me, maybe by an inch. There’s just something about him that makes him seem shorter than he is. And he definitely has a decent body.
“Enjoying the view, Kali?” Oops. I quickly looked away.
“It’s all right, I guess,” and I quickly changed the subject.
“You know, I still haven’t really gone in,” I gestured towards the water.
“What?!” His face turned to disbelief.
“I mean, I’ve waded through a bit but…that’s it.” He stepped closer to me.
“Well, I hope you’re ready…” He took another step and grabbed my before I realized what was happening. My feet dragged through the sand as I struggled against his hold. I’m not going to lie, he’s little, but his muscles are pretty nice.
“Vic! Noooo!” I lightly hit his back as he tossed me over his shoulder. Now upside down I watched the sand quickly turn to water as it disappeared under a wave. If I reached down I could have grabbed the cool water between my fingers before it rushed back into the ocean. Vic continued to carry me deeper; I could barely hear him speak over the breaking of the waves.
“Hope…ready…Cold!” He let me drop off his shoulder and I made a lucky grab, pulling him under with me. The chill in the water went straight to my head as I attempted to regain footing. I managed to straighten up before Vic and just as he caught his breath I pushed him back down.
“Not fair!” he sputtered and wiped the water from his eyes.
“Neither was what you did!”
“Okay, okay, I guess we’re even,” he held his hands up in defeat.
We spent a few minutes splashing around, and laughing. He asked me about my age and if I’m in school, along with some other basic questions. I happily answered everything until I began shivering.
“Can...We go back?” I wrapped my arms around myself trying to conserve body heat.
“Aw yeah, you cold? Let’s go.”
We eventually made it back to land and I was so thankful that I had grabbed a beach towel while I was getting ready this morning. I offered it to Vic who shook his head.
“I’m fine, I’ve got towels in my car. I don’t mind drip-drying.”
We collected our items and I draped my towel over my shoulders. When we made it back to the street I was still a little chilly, made obvious to Vic by my teeth chattering, despite the warm sun. I looked over at Vic as he whisked the longboard out of my hands; we were walking back towards the burrito joint and subsequently his car. He met my eyes and smiled, then put his arm around my shoulders.
“I hope you had fun today, Kali.”
“I really did, thank you.” He nodded and began singing under his breath.
“What’s that?” I asked. He chuckled quietly and shook his head, “Nothing really, just a song I’ve been working on.”
I perked up, “Oh, so you like to write?”
“You have no idea.”
Vic ended up dropping me off at home, despite me insisting that I could skate the distance, and put his number in my phone before I got out of the car. He got out of the car and walked around to hug me goodbye, which I appreciated but he put a little too much pressure into the squeeze. A few tears leaked from my eyes as I yelped from the pain and he jumped back.
“Oh shit Kali, I’m sorry!” He lifted my shirt and rubbed the bruised area ever so gently, and it sent shivers up my spine.
“Take care, darling.” He retreated back to his car and then was gone. I sighed, thinking about why it had taken me so long to make friends here. I guess I do need to open up some more. As I made my way inside I found myself hoping that I could get the courage to meet more people, but mostly that I could get the courage to text Vic, sooner rather than later.