The Process of Losing and Gaining

That evening I made my way back down to my spot on the beach, but first I stopped at a corner store to grab a bottle of wine. Just one of those days. My hip was in awful pain, which was only exacerbated when I fell off my board and landed directly on the same hip that I’d fucked up earlier. Only this time I wasn’t wearing an extra layer of fabric, just my bikini top. In retrospect that was a huge mistake. I didn’t need to look down to know that I was bleeding. Maybe I’m losing my touch with the board…hopefully not. I don’t really feel like buying a car just yet. At that moment though, I decided to stop texting and skating for good. Not surprisingly the moment before I fell I’d received a text from Sera.
“How are ya, babe? Have you thought more about my…offer? $$$ :P”
I sighed and had been thinking of what to reply with when I lost my balance. After recovering from the fall I continued the short walk to the beach and finally replied: “Was doing better before I fell off my board, but it’s chill. And no. My refusal still stands.”
Of course this was the one time I’d left the first aid kit that I usually keep in my backpack at home. So I brushed off the gravel that had attached itself to me and accepted that I would just have to deal with the blood.
When I got to the beach I didn’t go directly to the rocks but instead stashed my board and let my shorts drop. I wanted to brave the cold pacific one more time before denouncing my love for it. I carried the bottle of Moscato to the shore line and let the water creep between my toes. I braced myself and slowly made my way in.
I was thigh deep and a quarter of the way through the bottle when I decided to begin wading to the cove. I could have sworn I heard my name being called but when I turned toward the beach I couldn’t see anyone. The moon wasn’t illuminating the land enough for me to see without squinting, and by now I was waist deep. The waves lapped over my hips and belly button, sea water both stinging and soothing the newly opened wound on my side.
I looked down and ran a hand over my thighs along the scars that I knew where there but I couldn’t see. I thought of how getting hurt while skating was almost better than hurting myself when I was alone and in my bathroom. I’d accepted that there was something wrong with me long ago, having the crystals in my life helped. I almost always had quartz on me, in one way or another. It seemed to help keep me balanced, and healthy.
“Kalika!” I spun around with the bottle in my mouth. Mike splashed up to me, “Didn’t you hear me calling you?” his voice carried across the wind, but I was able to understand by reading his lips. I shook my head as I tried to cover my ribcage with my arms, suddenly self-conscious. He walked closer to me and took the bottle from me.
“You should never turn your back on the ocean; didn’t anyone ever tell you that?” The breeze blew his scent towards me, and I could still barely hear him between the wind and the waves.
“But I love the ocean,” I smiled, “Shouldn’t it love me, too?” A wave over took me as I spoke and I lost my footing. I automatically reached out for Mike, attempting to stop the current from dragging me under. He responded quickly, wrapping an arm around me and pulling my body into his as I regained footing. After making sure I was okay he smirked, “managed to save this, too,” he took a swig and handed it back to me. I squinted at him and drained the rest of the liquid from the bottle. I hate the taste of alcohol, but I love the feeling it gives me.
His eyes widened as he watched me finish it off, and I watched him. I realized how close we still were, and I was suddenly aware of our height difference. He smiled down at me and we shared a brief moment before another wave came, knocking us both over.
I came back up before him, laughing as he spat water out and swam back to me.
“Holy shit this water is cold.”
I began making my way back to land, crossing my arms in a feeble attempt to keep warm.
“Hey,” he called after me, but I didn’t stop until I had made it back to my things, and grabbed a towel.
“Hey,” he jogged up to me, “were you just gonna go home tonight or what?” He grabbed my arm to steady himself and I noticed that he’d dropped his things next to mine.
“Umm, I wanted to stay out here but I think the water killed my beach mood. I’m a little cold, and tipsy if I’m being honest.” He laughed.
“Wine will do that to you, but hey,” he grabbed my towel and started drying himself off. I just shook my head. “You should come back to my, well, my brother’s place!” He said excitedly, but relaxed when he saw my face. “I mean, my brother and some friends are hanging out for then night. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I thought it’d be fun. We coul-”
“Okay yes, relax!” I laughed, “I’ll come by. Why not?”
He nodded as we both pulled our clothes on, and he smiled when he noticed my shirt. Well, it’s Sera’s shirt actually. Whatever.
“You listen to them?” He asked, pointing at the Pierce the Veil shirt. I shrugged, “Not really. It’s my friend’s shirt. She really loves them, but I’ve only heard a few of their songs.” He gave me a thumbs up, “I approve of your friend.”
I insisted that I could just meet Mike at Vic’s house, but we won me over with the car by letting me know it’s mostly uphill to get there. He held my door open for me and put my board in the trunk, just as Vic had done for me earlier. Their parents must have done something right. When he got into the car he pulled a CD from the visor and popped it into the stereo. A familiar voice flooded the car. I nodded my head to the beat and we pulled out of the parking lot. I felt the name belonging to the voice on the tip of my tongue but I just couldn’t figure it out.
A diamond bullet and a gun made of gold; she was covered in blood last seen in San Francisco.
“This is Pierce the Veil, right?”
“Yeah, you recognize this one? You like it?”
“Mhm, definitely. I’ve heard it quite a few times.”
I know I’ve heard that voice somewhere before, and I knew that it was going to bother me until I figured out who it belonged to. The next song began just as we pulled into a driveway and mike switched the car off. I got out and looked up at the really nice, but modest home.
“This is it,” Mike stated, handing me my backpack, “Casa de Fuentes.”