The Process of Losing and Gaining

The house had an odd stillness as we made our way inside.
“Where is everyone?” I questioned, trying to hide the nervousness in my voice. A loud thump from the ceiling answered me before Mike could, and he pointed up.
“Found them. A drink?”
“Please.” I rested my hand on my hip in an attempt to stop the stinging from the fabric sashaying across the broken skin. He held out a beer and gave me an inquisitive look.
“Ahh…Uh, I don’t really…like…beer.”
“Hmm…” he ducked back into the fridge. “Wine okay?” He joked and then said, “would you like a glass this time?” as he uncorked the bottle and looked up at me. I rolled my eyes.
“I guess if I have to.” He rolled his eyes, mocking me with a dumb facial expression, and handed me a glass, already filled, and the bottle.
“Up we go.”
I followed him up the stairs and around a corner. The barrier of silence was quickly broken.
“MIKEY!” Three boys shouted in attempted unison.
“And Kali!” Vic slurred out.
I set the bottle on a table and looked around, my gazing was met with two sets of eyes.
“Kali,” one of them spoke up, “Vic was telling us about you!”
“Oh?” I lifted an eyebrow to Vic.
“Yeah! He was talking about this nasty fall you took and the bruise you got. Can we see it?”
“Jaime…” Vic warned. Jaime relaxed for a moment, “Oh, right. I’m Jaime, this is Tony.” Tony waved and I smiled, noting his largely stretched ears.
“So can we see it!?” I sighed.
“Thanks, Vic.” He winked and I lifted up my shirt.
“What the hell?” he exclaimed and walked up to me.
“It wasn’t like that earlier!” I explained my clumsiness and Vic calmed down.
“Texting and skating again, huh?”

More formal introductions were made and I eventually ended up on the couch, sitting between Jaime and Vic.
“Oh, nice shirt,” Jaime smiled, but turned to Mike with an inquisitive look. Mike just shook his head and Jaime shrugged, turning back to me. He began shooting off questions like a child, but I was able to answer them just as quickly as he dealt them. The other 3 argued about a movie selection and by the time they’d chosen, I was pouring another glass of wine.
I didn’t catch what the movie was, but it was something action-y. Everyone else seemed really into it, and I tried to pay attention but I was distracted by a cat that I caught wandering into the room. I got up and made my way over to it. I met Mike’s eyes along the way and when he saw where I was headed he smiled and raised his beer to me. I raised my glass and then drank from it as I sat against the wall near the cat.
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The kitty gratefully accepted my petting and rolled onto its back so I could rub its belly. I felt eyes on me and when I looked up my own eyes met Tony’s. I expected him to look away, but instead he kept watching me. I couldn’t read his energy, but nothing really felt off. I noticed a subdermal just below his eye which really added a lot of character to his face. He raised his lips in a small smile, and I felt myself blush. I looked away so he wouldn’t see, and the black cat was now trying to make its way into my lap. I scratched it behind the ears. When I looked back up Tony was next to me.
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“Hey,” he said quietly, sliding down the wall and crossing his legs next to me.
“Hey,” I whispered back.
“You don’t like the movie?” I shrugged.
“I don’t know. I wasn’t really paying attention.” We sat in silence for a moment, watching the cat get comfortable. Now that he was next to me I could catch more of his energy, and I wish I’d had my crystals with me. They help to keep me grounded, and I can pick up a lot more of the ‘unseen’ when I’ve got them helping me.
“Tell me about Detroit,” he said suddenly. “I’ve been there a few times, but I’ve never really been able to stay for longer than a day or two.”
I launched into a story, talking about how good our restaurants are, especially the Lebanese and Greek ones. I told him a little about the area I was raised in, and how I was lucky to even be alive with some of the stuff I’ve gotten involved in. I made sure to let him know that the city isn’t anywhere near as bad as the media makes it out to be, but it definitely could be better.
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We eventually made our way back to the loveseat; the cat had jumped up suddenly and darted across the floor and out of the room. We sat close so we could talk. Usually I’m not interested in being close to people, especially since I’d just met him, but I couldn’t help myself. I was drawn to him, or maybe it was this third glass of wine on top of the bottle I’d had earlier. Everyone else had now been asleep for a while, Vic was sprawled across one couch, with Jaime curled onto one end of it, and Mike had managed to pass out on the floor, partly under the coffee table. Alcohol does some crazy stuff to your body.
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We had gotten comfortable and were watching the end credits to the movie. My shirt had ridden up a bit at some point, and Tony lightly ran his fingers around the almost perfectly circular bruise. There was something about his touch that made me want to melt into his body. He questioned me in a gentle voice.
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“Does it hurt much?” I shook my head. It did, but I didn’t want him to stop touching me. For good measure I added, “the alcohol seems to have helped.” His simple gesture felt so intimate, and I was starting to think that there was something more to this than just the wine. I didn’t care. He let his fingers rest between my belly and hip just as the music from the movie ended.
Suddenly I remembered that I had to be awake the next morning. I pulled out my phone to check the time.
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“Fuck!” I tried to stay quiet, but Vic stirred. It was 1:23 am.
“Do you have to go?” he withdrew his fingers from my skin and I felt strangely empty.
“Yeah, I uh, work in the morning,” I remembered something else, “and of course my board is in Mike’s car.”
“Where do you live,” he stood, “I can walk you.” I gave him the cross streets near my house but added, “That’s sweet, but you really don’t have to. I know it’s late, I’m sure you’re tired.”
He shook his head.
“I know it’s late, that’s exactly why I want to walk you. This area is decent, but you never know…” He trailed off and gave me a look that I could only describe as pleading. I agreed finally, but reluctantly, and we made our way to the stairs.
“Bye, Kali,” Vic mumbled, and I stopped to ruffle his hair a bit.
“See you, Vic.”
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I picked up my bag on the way out the door and saw a collection of photos I recognized from Pierce the Veil albums on the wall. I guess these guys really are big fans.
Our walk was mostly uneventful, at least until we had to cross a main street. The traffic was surprisingly thick for it being almost 2 in the morning. Tony grabbed my hand in a seemingly subconscious way, almost as an afterthought, as we carefully crossed the street. I expected him to let go once we got across. He didn’t. When I looked his face out of the corner of my eye he seemed so be grinning slightly, he looked at the ground as he walked. I didn’t question the hand-holding.
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After a few more minutes of walking we were in front of my house. I reluctantly dropped his hand.
“Thanks for walking me, Tony. I honestly really appreciate it.”
He bowed his head slightly and then looked up at the sky.
“It was my pleasure, Kali.” He bowed his head and I started walking up the sidewalk to my house. Once I was inside I glanced through the glass in my front door. Tony only turned to start walking once I waved at him. I’d barely bolted the lock when it hit me. I fell back against the door like I’d been punched in the gut.
I knew why I’d recognized the voice from the song in Mike’s car.
I had just spent the night hanging out with Pierce the Veil.​​