Brontide

We landed in the sitting room and, unsteady on my feet, I collapsed onto the sofa, my wand still clasped tightly in my shaking hand. Rae was pacing back and forth in front of me, very pale and muttering things under her breath. It’d just hit me what we’d done, and my eyes narrowed as I watched her pace, her heels clicking against the wooden floorboards.

“Why’d you make us leave?” I asked her, trying to keep my voice level.

She stopped in place and turned to look at me sharply. “They weren’t going to drop it, were they? I figured they didn’t need to worry about us on top of everything else, at least they know we’re safe.”

I shook my head. “That’s not the point. They need to stop trying to protect us from everything! They know we’re more than capable of holding our own, we all attended Dumbledore’s Army together, didn’t we?”

Rae folded her arms over her chest, seating herself beside me. “I know, Cassie, I know, and I’m not exactly thrilled about it either…but I did what I thought was right, and I seriously don't recommend going back there right now."

I was chewing on my lip nervously and trying to quell the boiling frustration I felt. "I feel like a bloody child."

I saw Rae roll her eyes. “I don’t know about you, but I’m a bit more worried about them at the moment,” she said pointedly.

Whatever thoughts of frustration I was having in that moment ceased, because I remembered that they were still in danger. “Oh, right,” I said quietly, slightly ashamed.

And then, very anxiously, we waited. Sleep that night was restless, and Fred and George didn’t return that night or the morning after. Rae and I were hesitant to contact them in any way, but it was the day after the wedding that they finally contacted us. We were lounging around in the sitting room, trying to get ourselves to eat some breakfast when I nearly dropped my fork. A silver Patronus soared through the sitting room window, landing in front of us and materializing into a raccoon. It spoke with Fred’s voice.

“Everyone’s safe, don’t reply, we’re being watched.”

It dissolved a minute later and we let out sighs of relief, though we were still extremely anxious for their return. We stayed inside with the curtains drawn shut, the door locked and one ear always listening for the sounds of apparition. The anticipation was driving me bonkers and I desperately wanted to make sure everyone was okay.

Five days passed and they had yet to return. Rae and I had no idea what was going on, not able to get our hands on a copy of the Daily Prophet or send Nestor to get word from the Order, but one thing was for certain: Voldemort had taken over the Ministry. My insomnia gradually got worse, and I worried that maybe they would never be able to return to the flat. Nestor was growing restless, rattling his cage and wanting more than anything to stretch his wings, but I couldn’t let him out because I was afraid that we too were being watched.

On day six Rae and I discussed the inevitable - going into hiding. We didn’t know when or where, but it was bound to happen and definitely something to consider, so she and I sorted through our belongings to decide what we’d bring with us. With a bit of difficulty, I managed to put Undetectable Extension Charms on our school rucksacks, that way we could carry heavier loads. I packed some clothing, the photo album from Rae, the camera from Fred and George, packaged food that Rae and I split between our bags, the vial of Essence of Dittany from the bathroom, my Remembrall, my hairbrush and a few other things. I made sure the locket with the picture of my grandmother and Devon was secured around my neck, and as I looked around the flat I decided I had everything I needed. We were ready to go at a moment’s notice.

It was on day seven that we heard the sounds of apparition coming from the sitting room. Dropping what we were eating, Rae and I anxiously hurried out of the kitchen. Fred and George stood in the middle of the room and were holding the bags we’d left behind at the Burrow. I threw my arms around Fred, Rae doing the same for George, and hugged him tightly, burying my face in his shoulder. He returned the embrace and muttered in my ear, “I’m alright, I’m alright…”

After a minute I pulled away and hugged George, receiving my bag that Fred had been holding. They both looked very tired.

“What’s going on? What happened after we left?” I asked.

“They interrogated everyone remaining about whether or not Harry had been there. Luckily most of the guests didn’t know he’d been there in disguise, not to mention he, Ron and Hermione bolted the second the Death Eaters showed up. They’re definitely watching the house, but Dad’s still going to work and pretending like everything’s normal,” Fred said.

“Mum’s worried sick, didn’t wanna let us leave but we told her we had to. Remus was able to tell us in secret about one of the places the Order had set up in case this happened,” George said. He and his brother were headed to their rooms, Rae and I following.

“But what about where my parents are staying? Why can’t we go there?” I asked, helping Fred pack some clothes away.

He shook his head. “There’s not enough room there for six more of us. And besides, this place is probably safer.”

I counted on my fingers. “Six of us? But who else is going?”

“Lee and Angelina,” he said, throwing a handful of socks over his shoulder, “George contacted them and told them to pack some things, they’ll be here in a few minutes. Have you and Rae packed anything?”

I nodded my head. “We’re all ready to go.”

We helped the boys pack what they needed, and shortly afterward there was another crack of apparition, Lee Jordan and Angelina Johnson appearing in our sitting room with rucksacks over their shoulders.

Lee shook Fred and George’s hands, his smile the same as I remembered, and I hugged him tightly. I was happy to see my old friend.

“Cassie Bains, how’re you?” he asked when I pulled away.

“Oh, you know, absolutely wonderful,” I said lightheartedly as he embraced Rae next. I gave Angelina a small wave, never having really been close with her. “Good to see you, Angelina,” I said politely.

“You too,” she said with a small smile.

After the quick little reunion, we all grabbed hands and stood in a circle in the middle of the sitting room. I held Nestor’s cage tightly and took one last glance at the flat, wondering whether or not I would ever see it again. My eyes met Fred’s for a moment and he gave me a small smile, one in which I returned. And then with a loud, resounding CRACK, we were gone.

***

I felt myself falling, falling, falling and then hit solid ground, stumbling onto a patch of grass. Fresh air filled my lungs and I took several deep breaths, taking in my surroundings. There were tall trees all around, towering over us like giants. The sky was bright blue, the sun blazing down through the bright green leaves. It was very warm and we were in some sort of clearing with sounds of birds chattering way above us.

“Where are we?” I asked aloud, opening Nestor’s cage to let him out even though it was bright out. He wasted no time and flew out, spreading his wings and landing on a low branch of a pine tree.

“Somewhere in Spalding, I believe,” George told me, adjusting the rucksack on his shoulders. “Come on, I think we have to go this way.”

The six of us trooped through the forest, the canopy above helping to keep some of the heat out but it was still very hot. After about five minutes of walking, we stopped in a smaller clearing. Fred stooped down in the grass, moving aside some leaves to reveal a round metal door. It was slightly rusted with a wheel that you had to turn to open it, and when he did it creaked loudly. When I peered down I saw a metal ladder, and we each lowered ourselves in.

Once the room was lit up, I realized we were inside of an old fallout shelter. In the left corner, there was a square wooden table with a few chairs, an oil lamp sitting on top of it. There were some old books piled inside a wooden crate, and next to that was a doorway leading to a small storage room. The shelves were dusty and mostly empty, apart from a few first aid kits, some cans of food that hadn’t expired, oil for the lamps and a slightly rusted hatchet.

With a snort I thought of what’d happen if I decided to hit Voldemort with a hatchet. In fact, had anyone ever tried running him through with a sword or something like that? I made a mental note to suggest this to Harry when I got to chance.

To the right was a longer crate that sat against the wall, opening up so we could keep our belongings in there. On one wall were two hammocks, one above the other, and two more hung from the opposite wall. Another oil lamp hung from the ceiling between the hammocks. All in all the shelter wasn’t very big, but it was what we had for the time being and I tried to stay positive about it. I put my bag into the crate and climbed back outside with Rae, the two of us casting every protective spell we knew around the clearing.

Once she and I were done, we opened up the hatch and climbed down the ladder again, my eyes adjusting to the dim light coming from the oil lamps. Lee and Angelina were rifling through the crate full of books, George digging through his rucksack for something while Fred was stretched out on his chosen hammock, which was the one on the right wall up top. He had his hands behind his head and glanced down at me when I walked over.

“Not too bad, is it?” he asked. “We should be alright down here, just need to be careful of Snatchers when we use the river nearby to bathe.”

I pretended I didn’t just hear him say that we’d be bathing in a river. “What are Snatchers?” I inquired.

“They’re people who’re out looking for unregistered Muggle-borns, trying to bring them back to the Ministry for pay,” he explained.

I felt even more confused. “Unregistered Muggle-borns? Fred, what’re you talking about?”

He looked at me questioningly. “Haven’t you read the Daily Prophet lately?”

“Obviously I haven’t, Rae and I didn’t leave the flat at all until today,” I told him.

He scratched his chin. “The Ministry’s started this Muggle-born Register, putting it in people’s heads that all Muggle-borns have stolen their powers from someone else. Obviously it’s bloody rubbish, but if you don’t register yourself for an interview with the head of the Commission then there's a price on your head.” He turned his gaze to me so our eyes met. “I know your grandmother was a witch, but both of your parents are muggles so technically you’re Muggle-born.”

“I’m not registering,” I said bluntly, folding my arms over my chest.

“I’m not asking you to,” he said with a light laugh, “I knew you wouldn’t, but if you didn’t go into hiding they would’ve come looking for you. You should be safe here, and so should your parents at their hideout. They’ll probably go looking for them if they haven’t already.”

I nodded my head silently but inside I was nervous, wondering if my parents really would be okay. Fred could tell I was uncertain, so he reached down and played with a lock of my hair, twirling it around his finger. It was a small comfort.

We ate a small dinner in an effort to make sure our food would last, being we didn’t know how long we'd be down there. Once it grew dark there was a tapping on the latch door and, after quickly checking to see that it was Nestor, I let him in and he landed on the back of one of the chairs, a dead mouse in his beak. I sat down at the table with a roll of parchment, quill, and ink and wrote a letter to my parents by the light of the oil lamp. Rae sat next to me, watching as I wrote while she ate a dinner roll.

Dear Mum and Dad,

I can’t write to you too often, as I don’t want it to look suspicious, but we’ve gone into hiding. You know I can’t say where we’ve gone, but I believe we should be safe here. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but the Ministry’s looking for Muggle-borns and I happen to be one of them. Fred thinks they’ll be looking for you both, so please just be careful. I’m so scared and nervous; I just want you both to be safe. You didn’t ask to be involved in any of this, and I’m sorry for everything – for taking you away from your jobs, for asking you to leave behind your friends and your lives, all of it was to make sure you stayed safe.

I stopped writing for a moment, trying not to get emotional. I really missed my family and it was driving me nuts that we were all separated. Rae looked up from the letter and gave me an encouraging nod, taking the quill from me and drawing a small little smiley face in the corner. I smiled and took the quill back, taking a deep breath and continuing;

I want more than anything for this war to be over, but I know we still have a long way to go. When it’s all done everything can go back to normal; Devon’ll come back to Britain, even if it’s just to visit for a while, but it’ll be nice for everyone to be together again. I’ll try to stay in positive spirits, and if any Death Eaters happen to cross me I’ll make sure they deeply regret it. I love you both, and I miss you a whole lot. Be careful, and put your trust in no one who isn’t a part of the Order.

Love,
Cassie

I rolled up the letter and tied it to Nestor’s leg, letting him out through the shelter door before locking it up again. Everyone was settling into their hammocks, and I decided I could do with a bit of sleep myself. Rae and George shared the hammock below Fred, and Lee and Angelina took the bottom one on the left wall, so I took the one above theirs. In the storage room, I’d changed into pajama bottoms and an old t-shirt. The hammock had a nice warm blanket, which was good considering the fallout shelter was surprisingly cool despite the warmth outside of it.

I pulled the blanket up to my chin and glanced over to Fred’s hammock. The oil lamp was still burning so the dim light fell across his orange hair, shadows stretching across the white walls. Quiet snores from below me told me that the others had fallen asleep, though I knew Fred was still awake. He seemed to be staring at the ceiling in contemplative thought.

"Hey," I said quietly as I propped myself up, "what's on your mind?"

"Just thinking 'bout the others," he said softly. He rubbed his face in a way that told me he was tired but couldn't sleep. "Can't help but wonder what Ron, Hermione, and Harry are up to right now. What d'you think Dumbledore's having them do?"

I'd pondered that question quite a bit when Rae and I were holed up in the flat and I gave him my answer. "Possibly how to end the war, or he's given them a way to destroy ol' Voldy, which would likely end the war, anyway."

"Blimey, I hope you're right," he muttered.

"So do I."

We lied there in silence for a little while and the oil lamp burned out. Just when I felt my eyes begin to close, Fred's voice quietly reached my ears again.

"Cass?"

"Hm?"

"Once this whole mess is over, I'd like to take you out on a proper date." My mouth turned up in a smile at the thought. "I reckon I have a few ideas already. Those mover theater things you've told me about sound fun, and you like them, yeah?"

I had to cover my mouth to stop myself from cackling; he was adorable. "You mean a movie theater?"

"Oh, right...yeah, that thing."

"I do like them, though I haven't been to one in ages. You'd really do that?" I asked curiously.

I could practically hear the smirk in his voice. "'Course I would, we can go wherever you want, see whatever you want, and do whatever you want."

I felt myself blush and was thankful he couldn't see me. "Go to sleep, deviant."

***

We kept track of the days by writing on the walls. A few days after we initially went into hiding, during which Rae and Angelina were at the river taking turns bathing, there was a knock on the metal door. I looked up from my game of Exploding Snap with Lee and went to tthe ladder with my wand.

“Who is it?” I asked as part of the usual procedure.

“It is I, Remus John Lupin, werewolf, sometimes known as Moony, one of the four creators of the Marauder’s Map, married to Nymphadora Tonks, usually known as Tonks – ”

“Alright, alright, I believe you,” I called, opening the hatch and letting Remus climb down into the shelter. He was wearing a black traveling cloak and his hair seemed a bit more grey than usual, his scarred face looking tired and worn.

“Good to see you found the place alright,” he said, shaking everyone’s hands, “I just wanted to check up on everyone, see how you’re all holding up.” He glanced around. “Where is Rae, and – Angelina, is it?”

“Bathing over in the river,” I told him. The four of us sat down at the table and Remus conjured up another chair, sitting down between Fred and Lee.

“You haven’t been going off on your own, I hope,” Remus said.

I shook my head. “No, if we ever need to leave we go off in pairs and never go too far away from the clearing.”

Remus nodded approvingly. “I’ve been tailed by a Death Eater ever since the wedding, but I believe I finally shook him off. They really are a persistent bunch.”

“Have you heard from any of the others?” Fred asked.

Remus’ face turned a bit stonier. “I did, in fact, come in contact with Harry, Ron, and Hermione a few days ago. They’re keeping an extremely low profile. Bill and Fleur are living in Cornwall now. The rest of your family is going about their day-to-day business; they're being watched quite heavily, from what I understand. Kingsley is maintaining his cover at the Ministry to keep everyone as updated as possible. Pius Thicknesse is the new Minister of Magic, though we believe he is under the Imperius Curse."

“Where’s Tonks? How is she doing?” I asked, trying to read the expression on his face. I hadn't forgotten the strange tension at the wedding and I was still curious about what Tonks had been trying to tell me.

He looked stiff, a muscle twitching in his jaw. “Tonks is fine; she’s at her parents’ house where she'll be perfectly safe. We've agreed it's what's best.”

“Are you sure everything’s alright?” I asked carefully. “With you and Tonks, I mean. I would’ve thought the idea of hiding would drive her rather bonkers.”

“Everything is fine, thank you very much for the concern,” he said steadily, his voice straining to maintain composure. I glanced around the table to Lee, Fred, and George, who looked more than a little uncomfortable at the situation. It was quite obvious that everything wasn’t fine, and what Remus said next nearly made me fall out of my chair. “Tonks is pregnant.”

My eyes went wide and I clapped a hand over my mouth, letting out a squeal. The boys began congratulating him, the news of something as wonderful as a baby making me forget for a split second that we were in the middle of a war.

“Remus, that’s so wonderful! You’re both going to make such wonderful parents,” I said sincerely, trying to give him a reassuring smile.

This seemed to be the straw that broke the camel's back. He jumped up from his seat so quickly that his chair fell over, running his hands through his hair frantically and pacing back and forth in front of the table. "You don't understand," he said quietly, not looking at any of us, "this was all a huge mistake. It's going to be like me, don't you see? It's going to have the same affliction – werewolves don't breed, you know, it's very uncommon for a reason." He turned to look around at us now, his face slightly manic. "I shouldn't have married Tonks, I've regretted it from the very beginning. I've made her and our future child outsiders. It'll be ashamed of me, and I'm even more ashamed of myself, bringing a child into the world so it can suffer!"

I jumped up from my chair, my hands clenched into fists. "Stop talking like that! You don't know what you're saying, Tonks loves you very much and I sincerely doubt hiding her away is going to change that! She used to tell me all the time how much she cares for you, way before you even knew about it – she doesn't care that you're a werewolf! And any child who'd get to have you as a father would love you, despite your condition, and if they so happen to have it too then you'll be there to guide them through it."

Remus looked away, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I left her,” he said quite calmly, my jaw dropping open. The twins looked outraged. “It’s for the best, she’ll be happiest without me. When I told this to Harry, Hermione and Ron they wanted me to go back to her but I just – I can’t do that to her. It wouldn’t be fair.”

I walked around the table to where he stood, coming face to face with my old Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. “No, it wouldn’t be fair for you to leave your child without a father! It wouldn’t be fair to leave behind a woman who loves you unconditionally! It wouldn’t be fair to keep believing that you’re doing the right thing when you’re really fucking everything up! Do you know what I wouldn’t give to see my family again?” I was in tears at this point; I was furious at him, for Tonks, for myself, for the whole damned situation. “You have the opportunity to be with your family, and if you don’t take it then you’re completely fucking daft!”

Remus was completely startled by my outburst. He turned around and, kicking his fallen chair out of the way, climbed up the ladder and pushed open the round metal door, slamming it closed behind him with a CLANG.

***

It was a long time before visitors were even a thought again. The weather grew cooler and August swept into September, which flew into October. We continued to keep track on the wall, a row of lines and slashes signifying each day that’d passed. The forest above us began to lose its leaves, oranges and browns swimming around the clearing like an ocean. I was happy that I’d packed some winter clothing because I was going to need it; the shelter was even colder than the air outside, and we started collecting wood to make bonfires on the concrete floor.

Our food supplies began to dwindle, and we desperately clung onto whatever we still had. On occasion, two of us would go to the nearby village and swipe a bit of food sometimes, but we couldn't do it often for fear of getting caught. The muggle money we had collectively was spent on food and supplies, though the money had gone surprisingly fast, so as much as we didn't like it we resorted to taking what we needed here and there.

I noticed myself losing weight, which was something everyone seemed to be experiencing. I was worried sick and stressed which wasn’t helping my appetite at all. The overall atmosphere had gone from relaxed and quiet to tense and cranky. I began fighting with everyone over silly, pointless things, and there were all points where they argued with each other. We tried to avoid it as much as possible, but when you have six people hiding out in a small bomb shelter for two months, the thought of running out of food at the forefront of their minds as well as concerns for their families, there’s only so much arguing you can avoid.

It took awhile, and I was holding in there okay, but something – that inevitable something – finally broke me. It was November, according to our makeshift calendar, and I was sitting on the floor in front of the fire, clad in a violet Weasley sweater and my overgrown hair up in a topknot. Fred was next to me, telling me some joke about a three-eyed witch and trying to lighten the mood when someone knocked on the hatch. The six of us sitting around the room exchanged glances, not having any visitors in about three months. George got up from the table where he’d been playing Wizarding Chess with Rae, pulling out his wand and going over to the ladder.

“Who’s there?” he called.

“It is I, Remus John Lupin, werewolf, sometimes known as Moony, married to Nymphadora Tonks, sometimes known as Tonks, and with me is Kingsley Shacklebolt, Auror and protector of the muggle Prime Minister – ”

“Okay, okay, I believe you,” George said, and he let the two of them down the ladder. Kingsley appeared first in his brightly-colored robes, an earring hanging from his ear, and Remus was behind him in his usual worn traveling cloak. Fred and I stood up and I said nothing, not wanting to talk to Remus unless he’d finally fixed things with Tonks.

“I went back to her,” Remus said quietly as if reading my mind. My face grew into a smile and I walked around the fire, giving him a big hug.

“Oh, that’s so wonderful! I’m so happy, you’re both going to be great parents!” I beamed, pulling away. My face fell, however, when I saw the grave looks upon their faces.

“Cassie,” Kingsley said slowly, his deep voice strangely comforting, “we’re here on a more serious matter.”

I felt as though it’d become harder to breathe, and I felt Rae’s hand on my back. “What’s this about?” she asked them, her voice coming out slightly nervous.

Remus took a deep breath. “As you’re aware, Death Eaters and Snatchers are roaming all over Britain right now. We’ve promised we’d try to protect you all from them the best we could, as well as countless others, though it’s a bit hard to do that right now, as the Order’s stretched so thin. We’ve…we’ve tried everything we could, done every protective spell we’ve ever learned, and we don’t expect you not to blame us…”

His voice trailed off, and I could tell that whatever it was he was trying to say was very difficult. I felt my heart begin to pound thunderously – my body knew before I even knew.

“Does this have to do with her parents?” Rae asked for me.

I heard Kingsley sigh. “We don’t know how else to tell you this,” he said slowly, “but William and Lyra Bains are dead. We are…truly, deeply sorry.”

“No!” I screamed. I felt every pair of eyes in the room fall on me. My vision automatically blurred with tears, and I felt Rae pull me closer to her, trying to comfort me. I didn’t want comfort; I wanted Remus and Kingsley to stop lying to me. "How can you say that to me? Don't lie, dammit! This isn't happening, this isn't happening!" I sobbed, leaning forward and gripping my shaking knees. I felt myself being guided into a chair as I began to dry heave.

"Cassie, we're incredibly sorry. We went earlier to drop off supplies but the place was nothing but ash, burned right to the ground. I'm still not sure how but everyone was accounted for. It was...truly horrible," Remus told me carefully, his face paper white.

“But they could’ve gotten out, there has to be a mistake!” I yelled hopelessly, loose hair sticking to my sopping wet face. Fred had come over and put an arm around my trembling body.

Kingsley shook his head sadly. “We searched the whole area. It looks like it happened overnight when everyone was asleep. Whoever did it might've accidentally stumbled across the place, but we're still investigating.”

More tears streamed down my cheeks, and I covered my face so I didn’t have to see the sympathetic looks my friends were giving me. “I don’t blame the both of you,” I said barely over a whisper. “You did what you could; you did more than I even asked for.” A choked sob escaped my lips. “But I blame myself – I should’ve been there! I should’ve stayed with them instead of hiding in this godforsaken fucking hole!” I yelled, slamming my fist on the wooden table and making everyone jump.

“Cassie, this isn’t your fault,” Rae said quietly. I just shook my head and tuned everyone out, burying my face in my arms and sobbing angrily into the table.

I wanted more than anything to disappear, to make it so no one could ever look at me again because I was beside myself with how self-loathing I felt. Never again would I get to see my mother and father's smiles, and neither would Devon, which made the pain I felt multiply a billion times over. How was I going to explain this to Devon? I asked our parents to go into hiding and they ended up getting killed anyway…he was going to hate me. I sensed I would probably never see him again.

I vaguely remembered someone helping me into my hammock that night, unable to focus on anything happening around me. All I knew was Remus and Kingsley had left at some point, and I heard something about a radio show, but that was it. I glanced over the edge of my hammock, my blanket pulled up to my chin. Fred was watching me with a pained expression on his face.

“Can you stay with me?” I whispered, afraid that if I spoke at a louder volume I would resolve into tears again.

He was up there at record speed and I clung onto him like my life depended on it, closing my eyes and taking slow, controlled breaths. He stroked my mess of hair, resting his forehead against mine.

“It’s alright, Cass,” he whispered, “it’ll be alright…”

When you're in as much pain as I was, it's impossible to tell when things will feel alright again. The only thing that feels real is that agony; everything else might as well be a fairytale because nothing else exists.