I draw too

I was in the ninth grade when I realized that I didn't fit in, I always knew there was something different about me but I just couldn't tell what it was. Then I realized that it was everything about me, the way I did and dyed my hair, the way I liked tattoos and piercings, the way I liked bands and obsessed over youtubers and people who didn't know I existed, just everything about me was different. I didn't have many friends, one or two people I could talk to but nobody that I was always with and I didn't always have someone by my side and I usually found myself eating in one of the bathroom stalls at my school. But it wasn't until tenth grade where things got really out of hand, I started cutting, I wanted to end my life. Everyone saw me as a happy person. But I was dying behind my fake smile. I just wanted to say goodbye, not hello. I wasn't the prettiest person either, I wasn't skinny, well not in my mind. In my mind I was fat, and useless. I felt like a mistake, like maybe I was a mistake. There was just something about me that made me feel this way. Maybe it was the fact that I have never been in a relationship half the fact that no one wants to be with me, who would? I felt like a loser, but than in the last term of the year I noticed this guy, he was like me. He didn't fit in nor did he have friends as far as I could tell, he was different but in my eyes he looked normal and he was, I was the one who was different.