Bonfire

It was another Saturday. My plans consisted of sleeping in, sleeping off my hangover from the night before, and staying indoors all day. I rolled over to look at my alarm clock and saw the bright red lights flashing, telling me that it was 11:43 in the morning. With a groan I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling. I couldn't get her off my mind. She was the star role in my sleep, and invaded my thoughts during the day.

My phone beeped, signaling I had a new text message. I grunted as I rolled back over to retrieve my phone off the nightstand.

Bonfire tonight. 8pm. Usual place. Bring chairs, booze, and friends.

Well, there went my plans of spending the night in. The only bright side was maybe she would be there. I wasn't sure where we stood. I met her a few months ago at one of the famous bonfires my friends were notorious for hosting. She came with a couple of her friends. The entire night the two of us kept stealing glances at one another, looking away as soon as the other caught our eye.

I sat on the log, nursing my second beer of the night. The sky was dark and the air smelled of smoke and booze. The rest of the guys were seated around the fire next to me, laughing and singing songs. Jared had his guitar out, taking requests as people called out tunes.

I sat there silent, biding my time. It had been a rough past few months. My long time girlfriend of a year and a half broke up with me a couple months prior. To say that I still wasn’t exactly myself at the time would be an understatement. I thought I would have forever with her, and the moment she said she was leaving me for someone else, something in me changed. Now though, I couldn’t deny how hard it was to sit there and act like everything was alright, when the only security I had felt over the last couple years was stripped away from me.

Beer in hand, I found myself slowly slipping into a comfortable numbness when I heard a new set of laughs that I didn’t recognize. I sat up from my slouched position and looked to see this gorgeous girl approaching us along with a couple other girls I vaguely recognized from other bonfires. They moved and sat on a log across the bonfire from me. I was never one to believe in love at first sight but any beliefs I had about love prior to that moment were totally discarded.

Crazy sing-a-longs around the campfire eventually turned to split-off conversations. Everyone around me was talking about who knows what, and I was content sitting there just staring up at the star-filled sky. That is, until she came and interrupted my thoughts. She had a graceful presence about her that made her hard to ignore. She seemed like she wanted to stand off to the side and blend in to her surroundings, however she did nothing but stand out to me.

I couldn’t keep my gaze off of her as she would sit talking with her friends. She would nervously chuckle and brush a piece of hair behind her ear, bite her lip, and occasionally would glance my way. Whenever that happened, I would quickly tear my gaze away either looking down at the ground, or at one of the conversations happening by me. She and I kept catching each other’s eye and it came to the point I couldn’t handle not being next to her anymore.

She got up from her spot with her friends and made her way over to where the keg was set on the tailgate of John’s truck along with a sleeve of Solo cups. Shaking my nerves off, I finished off the last of my bottle, setting it on the ground before making my way over to where she was. Luckily no one else was around, making my chances of talking to her alone, more favorable.

She grabbed a cup out of the sleeve and moved to fill her cup from the nozzle on the keg. I walked up behind her and cleared my throat slightly. I didn’t know why I was suddenly so nervous. I had always been able to hold my own around girls, but for some reason she had intimidated me.

She whipped her head around to see me standing there and she nearly spilled her drink as her bright blue eyes widened in shock to see me standing there. She seemed just as speechless and scared as I was. That fact alone put me at ease as I was glad to know I wasn’t alone in this scenario.

With a sheepish smile, I held out my hand to introduce myself. She blushed as she gingerly took my hand, to which I placed a gentle kiss on the back of her hand, only deepening the blush on her cheeks.

Ever since that moment, it was like a spark of electricity was ignited between us. I filled up my cup and we wandered off to where my truck was parked. I had never been so glad to park so far away from everyone else. Looking in the bed of my truck, I had a couple of bean bag chairs and blankets thrown in there in case we were in need of extra seats. I let down the tailgate and helped her up into the bed as I climbed in behind. We spent the rest of the night watching the Arizona sky turn from a blanket of stars into a pallette of colors as we talked the whole night through.

That night happened a few months ago right before summer truly hit the Arizona desert. Since the night of our first meeting, we kept in touch. We often hung out, and over time have become incredibly close. However I can’t figure out what exactly is going on between us. We’re not really dating, but we’re acting more friendly than normal friends. All of her signals make me wonder if we’re official. She’ll hold on to my hand extra tightly whenever we go somewhere, or she’ll curl into my side more if we’re watching a movie. Her friends aren’t any help in this matter as they speak just as cryptically about our ambiguous state as she does.

The more I thought about it though, the more I realized just how much I truly care for her. I had no idea when I saw her at the bonfire those months ago that she would essentially become the center of my universe in a matter of months. It was now nearing the end of fall and I wondered if we’d ever get out of this unknown state. Sighing in both frustration and resolution, I rolled back over to grab my phone and texted her to ask who she was riding with to the bonfire tonight. She typically rode with her friends, and she and I would sneak off somewhere during the course of the night. However, I really hoped tonight would be different.

My phone went off again and I looked at the screen to see her reply.
You! That is, if you’ll have me ;)

If she only knew. I threw the covers off my body and shuffled to my closet to find my clothes for the night. It was still pretty warm outside despite the normal cool temperatures I was used to around this time of the year. Knowing I could get by with jeans and a short sleeved shirt, I made sure to grab my jean jacket because she often got cold when we went on our late night excursions.

I looked over at my clock and saw that I had spent most of the day lying in bed thinking of her. It was now 6:30 and I had yet to eat or get out of bed. I grabbed some clean clothes and headed to the shower to freshen up before getting ready to pick her up at her house.

As I moved to get in my truck, a thought occurred to me, and and I quickly got out to head towards the garage. Sitting in the corner by the door were my bean bag chair and extra blankets from the first night we met. Smiling to myself at the sweet memory, I made my way to retrieve them and threw them in the bed of my truck. I was hoping to really solidify things between us tonight, and prayed I wasn’t pressing my luck by bringing these with in order to recreate the night we met.

I hopped in my truck and drove the few miles it took to get to her house. I got out of my truck and made my way to the front door to get her. She opened the door with a smile and embraced me, before placing a chaste kiss on my cheek. I would never get tired of that feeling. I grabbed her hand, intertwining our fingers as I led her to the truck and helped her into the cab.

The ride was silent minus the soft hum of the radio and the sound of my tires driving over the uneven terrain of the dirt roads. She held my hand the entire way there. I pulled over and parked my truck where I always did; far away from anyone else around, and helped her out of the truck as I put down the tailgate. We were here early and it wasn’t quite dark outside yet. I faced the truck so we could watch the sunset from the bed before joining the rest of the gang by the bonfire.

Just like the first time we met, I helped her into the bed of my truck. We sat on the giant bean bag chair and I wrapped one of the blankets around our shoulders as she curled into my side to keep warm. We sat in a comfortable silence until I cleared my throat slightly and she backed away enough to look at me.

I kept my eyes straight ahead, fearing that if I looked into her bright green eyes I would lose whatever courage I had right now to ask her about what was going on between us.

“This sort of thing has never been easy for me to talk about. Especially not since the disaster of my last ‘relationship’. However, I need to hear from you, what exactly are we? Where do we stand?”

Now that it was out in the open I slowly turned my head towards her to see those beautiful green eyes I had grown to love, staring back at me. She removed one of her arms from being wrapped around my torso and cupped her hand on my cheek. Without saying a word she pulled my face to hers as she told me exactly where we stood as our lips touched.

I felt that spark of electricity that I felt the night our hands touched, and I wanted to feel more of it. Her hand moved to my shoulder as I moved my hand to the back of her head, while the other moved to her hip. She moved to straddle my waist as she continued to kiss me with the passion that I feared for so long was one-sided.

Too soon, she gently broke away for air and leaned her forehead against mine with her eyes closed and a sheepish smile. Holding her in my arms like this was intoxicating and I never knew I could become so weak with just the brush of her hand. She cuddled into my side as we continued to watch the sunset, and for once, I knew I was right where I belonged.