Folie à Deux

Ten

My loft was eerily quiet once Big Bob had gone; my head was full of heavy thoughts and wondering when Sam would wake up. I was anxious to tell him the truth, I couldn't keep it inside any longer. It had consumed me like it had when Pete was setting to leave the previous night.

This time though, it was different. Sam was only a toddler and barely understood how to be around adults and other children, so telling him this would be hard. It had to be done, but much more gently than I had been with Pete, of course. I already knew Sam wouldn't curse and practically hit me; he'd ask questions and I'd answer them truthfully.

I wondered how these questions would compare to the other 100 I answered on a daily basis.

So, I busied myself while Sam slept, keeping my mind off of the entire thing. I had cleaned up and answered emails, talked to Anthony about where to meet for lunch and then I went to checked up on Sam. When I entered into my bedroom he was sitting up, rubbing his eyes and then scratched his head. I smiled, "Hey, sleepy head."

Sammy looked at me, "I'm hung-y now."

I went over and picked him up, "Okay, want some soup?"

"Mm-hm," he yawned.

I carried Sam to the kitchen and set him at the counter, then grabbed his crayons and a coloring book. Sammy hummed softly while he colored and I heated some soup for him. I kept looking back at him, seeing Pete's mannerisms in his little movements and the way he hummed. It was scary seeing him there knowing Pete was in that seat just hours ago. My heart thumped faster and faster wanting to tell him; it was idiotic how nervous I was.

"Mommy," Sammy waved his red crayon at me, "you 'kay?"

I nodded, smiling at my baby boy, "Yeah, I'm okay."

"You sad?" He pouted slightly.

"A little," I answered softly.

Sammy got that quizzical look on his face that Pete usually got; I couldn't get over how much they looked alike. I couldn't even see myself in Sam anymore.

"H'w come?" He kept his eyes on mine, his left hand gripping his red crayon.

I exhaled and grabbed my phone from across the counter, "I...I want to tell you something but I'm kinda scared."

Sam frowned a bit, "Mommies git scared?"

"Yep, mommies get scared. Right now, I'm a little scared and sad," I replied.

"Why?" He palmed his cheek, dropping the crayon, his light brown curly hair shined like golden locks from the sun cutting through the window.

I looked down at my phone and googled Pete Wentz, looking up the first imagine of him that was clear and I actually thought was clear and okay. Clicking on a picture, then looking back at Sammy with fumbling hands and set my phone down in front of him. Sammy looked at my phone and picked it up, giving me a funny look, "Who dis?"

I bit at my lip, "That's a very old friend of mine. He's...his name is Pete."

Sammy looked momentarily confused; he looked at my phone once more before putting it down, "Friend like Joe?"

I nodded, "I knew Pete before you and Jojo were born."

Sammy looked at me with surprise, his tiny brows shot up; he must've thought that our friendship was ancient.

"Uh," I began, "me 'n Pete...we...uh, we were best friends. Very, very best friends. Uh...this is gonna be a little confusing and you won't understand this, but I want to tell you 'cuz I don't like lyin' to you."

"You don' do dat," he murmured; he looked down at his coloring book, but I knew he was waiting for me to finish.

Sammy is a lot smarter than any other toddler I had ever met.

"I know, I don't want to, Sammy, I always tell you the truth," I returned to the stove and turned the burner down, then I began to serve him soup, "if I tell you somethin' about Pete, I want you to know that I didn't mean to lie."

Turning, I caught Sammy looking at me; he fiddled with a blue crayon now, but he looked at me with that questioning stare.

"You lie?" He frowned deeply at me; the dimples at the corners of his mouth deepened...just like Pete's.

I nodded slowly, scrambling to save myself, and then let the words tumble out, "I didn't mean to, I didn't want to hurt your feelings."

Sammy's face cleared, he looked okay with this explanation, "'Kay."

Exhaling, I set the bowl of warm chicken noodle soup in front of Sam, "Uh...remember when you asked me about your daddy?"

"He's in heaven," Sammy recalled, pushing away his crayons and book so he could eat; he picked up the tiny spoon in his bowl.

"Um...yeah, I said that, but that isn't...wasn't true. Jojo's daddy is heaven, but yours isn't," the words fell out, like they were shoved in the back of my throat, heavy and waiting to escape.

Sammy looked up at me excitedly, dropping his little spoon, "He isn't?"

I shook my head, "No, he isn't. Your daddy is Pete. The guy on my phone."

I have never seen my baby boy so happy in his entire life; Sammy grinned, the dimples on the corners of his mouth deepened joyfully this time. Sammy had forgotten all about his food, "Where he at? C'n I see 'im, mommy?"

My heart sunk instantly; Sammy made up his mind the moment I told him, unlike Pete. Sammy was happy at the mention of having a dad, someone that was a big part of creating him, and he didn't even have any qualms other than where he was and if he could see Pete. And Pete, he was freaked out and angry at me...it made me wonder if Sam were a little older, would he have been pissed at me too.

"P'ease?" Sammy begged sweetly, sitting up excitedly, near bouncing.

I couldn't lie. I couldn't say no. Those sweet big hazel eyes ate at me; there was no way I could say no.

"We'll have to see, okay?" I told him, "I can't say yes just yet."

Sammy looked crushed and I hated it. My stomach dropped right along with my heart. He looked like I had broken his favorite toy; like I stomped on his little heart; Sammy looked sad and about ready to cry.

"Why?" He looked down into his bowl of soup and proceeded to play with his food.

I went around the counter and sat beside Sam, "Because he's kinda mad at me right now. But, I promise, I will tell him that you want to see him..." I wrapped my arm around his tiny shoulders, "Do you think he could say no to your adorable face?"

Sammy finally giggled and looked up at me and sang, "Hehe, nooooo."

I kissed the top of his head, "Me either. If he does say no, then it doesn't mean he doesn't like you. It just means that he's not ready to be your daddy."

"Tha's dumb," he mumbled.

"I know it is. But, with or without him, it'll always be us; me, you 'n Jojo. You'll have grandpa Bob and grandma Perry...your uncles and our friends...you'll never be alone."

Sammy shrugged slightly, "'Kay."

"I'm sorry," I murmured to him, "I love you, Sam."

"I love you, too, mommy," he murmured back.

"No matter what, you're my best friend and I love you and your sister more than anything," I kissed his head again, "you know that, right?"

He hummed, "Mmhm."

"So, right now, me 'n you needa keep this between us. Our little secret," I told him animatedly, sticking out my pinkie

Sammy wrapped his tiny little finger with mine, "'Kay, mommy."



I went down to the gallery to start with the receipts of the original pieces; so far Sabrina sold more than I had, which I knew would happen, and I was grateful for. Sammy was in my back office playing with Anthony; I could hear them giggle and Anthony making jokes about his drawings. This distraction was great, I didn't want Sammy to be wrapped up in thinking about Pete, and Anthony was one of the few substitutes that helped him forget he didn't have a real father.

So, while I filled out the forms and checks, Sabrina went and set the names on the pieces that were sold. I could hear her upstairs in the open area, playing music; coincidently while she shuffled her playlist a Fall Out Boy song came on, prompting me to roll my eyes. I didn't know what song it was but I could tell it was Patrick singing; I figured it was a song I never heard before.

As the beginning riffs echoed through the gallery, the lyrics made me stop once it got to the second verse; They say your head can be a prison / then these are just conjugal visits / People will dissect us till this doesn't mean a thing anymore. My eyes narrowed at the words, still confused as to what the hell they actually meant, and when exactly Pete wrote those words; before or after I left.

I shook off the thought, thanking the heavens once it was over. Continuing to sign off on things, I glanced at my phone to check the time and saw it was almost time to pick up Jojo.

"Hey, Sabrina!" I called upstairs to her.

"'Sup?" She called back, turning her music down.

"I'm gonna go pick up Johanna," I grabbed my coat, "please make sure Anthony doesn't let my son get into trouble."

"I heard that!" Anthony called from my office.

I rolled my eyes, hearing both Sabrina and Sammy giggle, "I'll be right back."

Stuffing my phone away, I exited the gallery and headed around the block to Jojo and Sammy's pre-school. As soon as I stepped into the classroom Jojo all to happily crashed into me, "I missed you! Where Sam at?"

I took her hand and bag, slinging her pink bag onto my shoulder, "He's at the gallery with Anthony."

Jojo gasped, "Ant? Uncle Ant?"

"Yep, Uncle Ant," I laughed.

"Is gon' sing fo' us?" She asked.

I shrugged, "Dunno, you can ask him."

Jojo skipped along beside me, leading the way to the gallery. She entered the gallery before me, calling to Anthony until he came from the back with Sammy on his shoulders, "Hey, hey, Jojo! I missed you!"

Jojo took off with Ant and Sammy back to my office and made loud noises, giggling happily. I could hear them having fun, gladly forgetting about the world outside my office. I was happy to know that despite the mess I made the night before things were okay and would be not matter what.

And just as my happy thoughts were fueling my movements, I heard the front door of the gallery open, a chill of wind shot through, causing me to look back. It was a quick look, so I did a double take upon seeing a familiar figure in a dark gray coat. Sudden shock shot through me; my heart shot up my throat. There he was, Pete Wentz, yet again, looking as calm and cool as he ever had.
♠ ♠ ♠
So it's Christmas Eve and I am happy to say that I'm finally fixing these chapters up quickly and posting them as fast as I can. I hope you all aren't too disappointed in me. I've been working hard on this story and other short stories about the walking dead. Yes, I've become with obsessed with it after Matty introduced me to this new villain Negan. I think he is so handsome and charming, a bit crazy too, but that's all the more why I like writing about him. As of now, I haven't thought about posting any of my new stuff in here, I'm just writing to see where I take things.

So, thanks for reading and being patient with me!
xoali