Folie à Deux

"Angelus, there's a guy here to see you."

My head lifted up from the event sheet, "Did he say who he was?"

My eyes drifted from my partner's face; Sabrina had flowing pastel purple hair that was pulled up into a bun, glasses and wore a knit dress, but her appearance didn't mean a thing when my eyes focused in on a person standing behind her.

Joe waved at me, grinning; I jumped up, smiling right back, taking a good look at him. His hair was thicker and curlier than I had remembered, and he wore glasses; his shoulders rode up his arms out, waiting for an embrace. I hurried from my desk, letting the event sheet and planner slip from my hands.

I hugged him tight, "Joe!"

Joe hugged me back, laughing softly, "Whoa, my dog is gonna get jealous!"

I pulled back in surprise, "Dog?"

As if on cue, a soft whine sounded at our feet; a little black French bulldog with his tongue hanging out looked up at me. He pawed at Joe's foot.

"What's his name?" I asked, letting my arms fall at my sides.

"Louis," Joe knelt down, picked him up and showed him to me.

I cooed at the little dog before petting him, "Hi there, Louis!" I looked back at Joe, "You know, my kids have been asking me for a dog for awhile now."

"This'll definitely get you more pleases," he chuckled, setting Louis down. "Where are they anyway?"

I felt my mouth run dry quickly, my mind went blank. It was like I had misplaced something important. My brain just fizzled out.

"Uh, Angel?" Sabrina called from behind me; I turned to face her, seeing she knew I was drowning and decided to rescue me, "Sam and Johanna are at school, they'll be getting out soon. You told me to remind you so you'll be able to pick up groceries."

I exhaled, mouthing a thank you to her, before turning right back to Joe, "That's right, duh."

"Is it a far walk?" Joe asked.

I shook my head, turning back to him, "It's just around the block, my loft is another two."

Joe smiled, "I'll let you get your stuff then, I'll wait for you."

I hummed, watching Joe and Louis head off towards the entry. Sabrina followed me as I returned to my desk; she giggled, nudging me gently, "You got a crush on that guy?"

"No," I answered, shuffling my sheets together, "he's an old friend who's getting married...I'm just nervous," I sighed heavily, "it's this whole mess..."

"About Sammy's dad?" She asked quietly.

Sabrina and I locked eyes; she didn't know about Pete. No one but myself and my parents had. She did know that I didn't want to talk about Sammy's father; she didn't have to ask, she could just tell it was a sensitive subject. Sabrina isn't stupid, she could see the vast difference in looks between Jojo and Sam. I was hoping that everyone else around me would be significantly slower to catch on.

"I won't ask anymore," she added with a smile. "I'll close up this afternoon, don't worry about it."

"You sure?" I bit at my lip. "There's still so much we have to do for--"

She put her hand up, silencing me, "Hey, it's half my showcase too! Don't worry, have fun."

I smiled at her, "Thanks. I'll come back tonight--"

"No you will not," she said with small smirk. "Now get goin'!"

I thanked Sabrina again before grabbing my coat and purse.

Outside, Joe and I walked side by side, making small talk. The snow had let up a lot, the ground was wet, but the thick piles of snow from a week before were gone. Louis walked ahead of us, seeming to know where to go. All the while we talked, the little dog peddled ahead, making each second closer more nerve wrecking than the last. I couldn't prolong it, nor could I stop it, so I didn't know what to do or say if Joe were to notice Sammy's resemblance to his friend (one who was his very best friend at one point).

Once we got to the school, my heart hammered in my chest, I could've bet money Joe could hear it. We went to the Pre-K room where Jojo and Sam had the same class together, since they were only a year and a half apart. Other parents were waiting too; a few mothers waved to me, some giving Joe curious looks.

His presence was the least of my worries.

Their teachers, Mr. Oliver and Ms. Holly finished speaking, letting the kids go. Almost instantly my heart started to hammer again, feeling as if it were stuck in my throat. Jojo and Sammy grabbed their backpacks and coats from across the other side of the room, and turned back, spotting me as they pulled their things on. They were usually prepared for either Sabrina, John's parents or myself picking them up, so they made sure to have everything ready.

Sammy looked beyond excited to see me; he had dropped his backpack and ran to me, one arm in his puffy coat. I laughed as he barreled towards me, picking him up, "Hey, Sam."

He sighed against my shoulder, "Mommy."

The way he spoke was different, he sounded sad, but relieved. I kissed his temple and helped him pull his other arm through his coat. He held onto me, as if he was scared and wanted to hide; I couldn't have been any more relieved myself that he decided to hide his face.

"What's wrong?" I asked, taking his backpack into my hand.

He didn't say anything, he only wrapped his arms around my neck and let out another sigh. I looked down at Jojo, wanting to ask her, but she shrugged once I did look at her. She had her coat on and had her backpack on, "Who dis?" She asked, looking over at Joe.

"This is a very old friend of mine," I answered happily, despite having a sad little toddler clinging to me.

"I'm Jojo," she said, "I like your puppy."

Even the mention of a puppy couldn't make Sammy move an inch.

Joe chuckled, kneeling to her, "Hey Jojo, my name is Joe. We kinda got the same name. This is my dog, Louis, wanna pet him?"

Jojo hummed, then looked to me, "C'n I?"

I nodded, "Yes, you can."

Jojo petted Louis, "Hiiii doggy."

Joe handed her the leash, "You can hold his leash for me then. Don't worry, Louis isn't fast or rough."

Jojo's eyes lit up as she looked at me then, "C'n I, mommy?! Please?!"

I nodded, "Yes, but you can't wonder off ahead, keep close to us."

Jojo looked back at Joe and took a hold of his hand, "We won't get losted," she said animatedly. "You comin' to 'r house, Mr. Joe?"

Joe seemed so amused and enthralled with her, immediately giving all of his attention to her, "You can just call me Joe, cutie."

As we exited the school, Joe and Jojo walked a few feet ahead of Sammy and I. The sight of them was bittersweet; Jojo held his hand tight and secure. My mind immediately went to what she and John would have looked like, but as soon as I did think of John, I regretted it. The only reason being was that if John were alive I wouldn't have Sammy, and Sammy had become my tether, an anchor of being a mommy. Without him I don't think I could've been a good mom to Jojo; in my head I don't think I would've or could've been as present and content as I am now if I only had Jojo to look after.

"What's wrong?" I asked Sammy once more as we neared the loft.

He shrugged, "Jus' sad."

"I'm sorry, baby. Did you have a good day?"

Sammy shrugged again, "Dunno."

"Are you sleepy?"

He hummed then, "Uh-huh."

I kissed his cheek, "We're gonna go home 'n I'll let you nap', and then when you wake up we'll eat, sound good?"

Again, Sammy hummed and kept his grip on me.



Sammy had fallen asleep before we got to the loft; Jojo took Joe to the living room, still keeping him laughing and entertained. I took Sammy to my bedroom, knowing he'd want to sleep there. Lying him down on the bed, I took his shoes and coat off before covering him.

Leaving the bedroom, I closed the door behind me and almost ran into Joe. I jumped and he laughed, "Sorry!"

I slugged his arm playfully, "The heck, man!"

"Sorry!" He said again, chuckling. "Jojo was just telling me about Sam...why he's kinda sad."

"Why?" I asked.

"It's about his dad," Joe murmured this, "she said it was about their dad, but you know what I mean."

I felt frantic, "You didn't say--"

He cut me off, but spoke softly, "No, no, I didn't say anything to the effect of them having different dads or whatever. I only listened to what she had to say. It's not my place to break out stuff like that."

I felt so much relief; sighing, I thanked him, "Thanks, Joe. Why is he upset about his dad?"

"Jojo said that he missed him."

I shut my eyes a moment, thinking about it all. The whole thing was almost too heavy to think about. Sammy knew something wasn't right, he missed a part of himself. I knew all too well how that had felt. Losing John had left a big whole in my life and deeply in my heart, and I was sure Sammy felt the same, only he didn't understand it.

"Joe, can I..." I paused, thinking before saying more, "I'm gonna get Johanna some food and then I'll show you something."

Joe nodded his head with a confused look on his face. He didn't say a word, he only followed me back into the living room.