Folie à Deux

It was two hours after we left the hospital that Sam finally woke; he was groggy and confused as to why he had a towel (gauze) wrapped around his head. I let Jojo tell him all that happened while he was under while I fixed them mac and cheese for lunch. I could hear them from the kitchen, giggling away until the buzzer down at the front door went off, that's when they got silent and proceeded to rush to me chanting, "Mommy, mommy!"

"I heard it," I replied with a laugh.

"Can we answa tha buzza?" Jojo asked.

I nodded, "Careful on the stool."

Watching them, Jojo let Sammy on the stepping stool and let him ask who it was down at the door; "It's me, Sam. Buzz me up."

It was Sabrina; Sam giggled, "Kay!" The kids cheered -once Sam was off the stool- and waited by the lift for Sabrina's ascent. I could see them from the corner of my eye, seeing how joyful and how they patiently waited until they were a big ball of movement once she was on the landing and out the lift.

The kids squealed even more, for reasons unknown to me at the moment. I continued to cook until Sabrina and the kids came over and two big colorful wrapped presents; one purple and one green, were set on the counter by Sabrina. I looked up at her, cocking a brow, "What are these for?"

Sabrina shrugged, then threw her thumb back over her shoulder at the kids waiting eagerly with grins, "Dunno, but they were specially delivered for Joanna and Sam."

I turned the stove down and cleaned my hands on the kitchen towel, "Was there a card or anything that says who it's from?"

Sabrina shook her head, her lips turning down, "Nah, just tagged with their names," then she looked back at the kids, "your kids look like they're gotta pee."

I laughed, "Jo, Sam, calm down, it's--"

"Mommy, please!" Sammy begged excitedly.

My brows shot up, "What if there's spiders inside, smart guy?"

He frowned at me, "Is not!"

"And why not?" I frowned back at him.

Jojo looked at him, "Yeah, why not?"

"Cuz, is too big!" He stuck his tongue out at me.

I smiled, "Okay. You win, Sammy, these boxes are too big for spiders. Your logic makes sense."

"Can we have dem den?" Jojo asked with a grin matching Sam's.

I sighed slightly and looked at the cutely decorated boxes, "I don't know..."

"They look legit," Sabrina added, "the delivery guy said he picked them up from Toys 'R Us himself."

I bit at my lip, "Alright, but you have to open them in front of me."

The kids cheered, then practically ran me over and clawed to get on the counter. Sabrina laughed and handed the presents to them before they could get them. I was surprised that they were so savaged about those two gifts, but I think it was because Christmas had just passed and they had missed ripping apart gift wrapping.

Sabrina and I laughed as we watched them rip apart the unneeded wrapping as the outside was just a big brown box. They both pouted at me once they needed me to open the top. After I cut open the top, they gawked at the toys inside; Jojo got Barbie dolls and Sammy got hot wheels and plush dinosaurs. They pre-occupied themselves while I finished lunch with Sabrina helping me.

"So, that guy, Joe, right?" Sabrina began, grabbing bowls from a cabinet behind me.

"Yeah?"

"What was that all about?"

"He's an old friend who invited me to his wedding and wanted to meet the monsters."

Just as I spoke, Sammy let out a loud yell that made us all jump. He made his toy cars crash into each other and made an explosion with his mouth next, dropping the cars to the floor, and then laughed manically. We all stared at him; Jojo giggled first, "You crazy, Sammy."

Sammy didn't respond, he continued to play, as did Jojo. Sabrina laughed, shaking her head, "Anyway, did he see how crazy they are?" She kidded.

"Yep," I chided, "Joe 'n me talked a little about you know what. He 'n the guy were in a band together."

Sabrina frowned slightly, "Really? What band?"

"Fall Out Boy," I said.

Her jaw dropped, "Oh my God, I knew it! I knew it!"

Both Jojo and Sammy jumped and looked over at us. Sabrina caught herself, her cheeks burning red, "Sorry," she said.

The kids just shrugged and went back to their own world, leaving us be. I giggled, "It's fine, I know he looks like him. But, yes, you were right, Sabrina."

"Does he know?"

I shook my head, "No one knows, except for me, you, and Joe."

"So, lookin' at the kid, Joe just knew?" Sabrina danced around her words.

I nodded, "Yep."

"Are you going to tell him?"

"I've thought about it...recently I've been thinkin' about it...real heavy. Pete's been..." I sighed, "He's been on my mind a lot, he's been here and there too much for me to ignore it. What would you do?"

"Well, when's the wedding?" Sabrina asked next.

"In a couple of months. I don't know if he's gonna be there; Joe said he's got a lot of shit going on with his wife, and he and the guys haven't been talking since the hiatus last year."

Sabrina hummed, thinking, "I'd have a sit down with him, talk to him and then break it to him gently. How do you think he'll take it?"

"That's the thing," I sighed, "I'm not sure. I don't wanna tell him," I motioned my head toward Sammy, "and have Pete just totally reject him and have Sam," I mouthed his name, "feel sad because of Pete. I want to see what Pete wants before I go forward with telling anyone else."

"So," Sabrina exhaled, "as far as he knows," she motioned towards Sammy as I had, "J-O-H-N is D-A-D-D-Y?"

"Yep. It'll stay that way until he can do math and figure it all out on his own...I'm praying Pete'll want to get to know him."

"I'm sure he will."

In my head I was hoping so hard, but in my heart, I was feeling as if I was setting myself up for disappointment.

And for a big waste of time.

The kids were with Perry and Bob while Sabrina and I set up for our art showcase. It was one of the first time in months I was nervous showing my art in public. I hadn't had a showing in over a year, and I would be showing my son's face on display, especially to the public, and to critics. People were going to see his face, photographers and creative art bloggers were going to be seeing his face, probably going to figure who I used to hang with and put the pieces together. I was afraid I'd be outed before I could be able to tell Pete myself.
I prayed that I was more obscure to the world than Pete is; maybe no one would figure it out.

I debated whether or not to let the painting "One - 2 - Three" be displayed. I paced in front of it, with Sabrina behind me silently, looking at the painting. There was only a few hours left before the gallery was set to open; Sabrina was okay with letting the painting to be shown; it's be the only water coloring among the other bright bold colors we both used, but Sabrina tended to use softer colors, that my water coloring could be mistaken for her work.

That's when it hit me.

"Sabi," I said excitedly, like one of my children, "say this is yours!"

Sabrina's brows rose quickly, "What?" She seemed genuinely confused as to what I said. "What'd you say now?"

"We'll switch out the names," I said quickly, rushing towards my desk, "we'll put your name on the back--" I spoke fast as I looked for some white masking tape and a black sharpie, "you take credit; say it was some random kid you saw in the park, 'right?"

My words were half finished and fast, I barely understood them.

"You want me to take credit for it," Sabrina said flatly, "what if our friends notice?"

"They won't," I muttered, pulling the cap off the marker with my teeth, "it'll be okay."

"Ya'sure?" She asked softly.

I nodded, talking with the cap in between my teeth, "Positive."


It was only a few hours later that I was dressed in a black wool knit dress that went past my thighs and black ankle boots. My nerves had gone away, or they attempted to as I played with my hair; Sabrina had done it in loose curls that bugged me. She was dressed in jeans and a red blouse, looking like herself; carefree, artistic, happy - like Sabrina.

I didn't feel like myself with my hair like this. I fiddled with it, but as soon as I began to mingle with the critics and bloggers who adored our joint work and ideas, I didn't mess with my hair until there weren't any cameras on me. There had been a few; some from independent channels, YouTube, music channels, and bloggers. Then there was old musicians I had done makeup for who wanted to catch up.

They all had asked about my kids and I had lied and said that my phone was dead so I couldn't show them pictures. I was almost out the woods until I spotted Gabe Saporta charging in the front doors. I had met him a few times through Pete, and I knew that when Isaw Gabe that Pete was not that far behind.
My stomach dropped and bundled into nerves.

In my head, all I kept thinking was "Oh no, oh no, oh no." I was mentally praying he was alone.

I turned around and clasped my hands together, hearing Gabe laugh loudly and then him say my name; that's when I bolted towards the dining area where the snacks were being made. The catering company all looked at me like I was crazy, but then they looked quite frightened suddenly; "Miss, did we do something wrong?" One short, ginger haired male asked timidly.

I shook my head, "No, you're fine. I just needed to get away. Sorry."

He nodded, turning away from me. The staff continued to work as I stood away, standing aside from the door, inhaling and then exhaling. They all looked at me wearily, but did not say anything. I was there for maybe a few minutes before the door opened slowly, and Sabrina poked her head in, "Angelus?"

"Hey," I murmured.

"That guy Joe is here with his fiancé Marie. And...um, this guy called Gabe Saporta is here with his girlfriend named Erin, she says she knows you. And...Pete is here too..."

If I didn't feel nervous then, I felt like an animal caught in a trap.