Folie à Deux

I pulled my hand away as soon as we stood in front of my painting. I couldn't keep my hand in his with the truth and lie staring me right in the face. Sammy's innocent little state of being and Pete's cluelessness haunted me. Vomit was coming up, I had to run or I would've ruined my painting; but I managed to slip away without running or causing any attention to myself.
All the while Pete and Gabe marveled at the painting. Laughing and awing at Sammy; fascinated that a child in a painting looked just like Andrew.

There was no one with me as I slipped into the ladies room alone; the echoing of my shoes on the tiled floor helped me relax just a bit. I leaned my palms against the sink, swallowing saliva, breathing heavily, letting the wine settle in my stomach, "I'm good," I mumbled to myself, "I'm okay."

I'm not sure how long I stood at the sink, staring at the faucet. The minutes slipped by, I wasn't entirely sure how long I was in there before Erin came in with Sabrina. Erin towered over me, as usual, in her heels, and smiled, placing a piece of loose platinum blonde hair behind her ear, "Is this were you've been? Are you alright?"

I swallowed again, "I'm fine. Sorry for being so...flighty."

Erin just laughed and pulled me into a side hug, "It's alright! I missed you though, you and Sabrina have amazing pieces here. I want to buy some of it."

As we parted, I gave her a look, "Why?"

"Angel," she frowned slightly, "You know why."

"I know why you'd buy Sabrina's stuff, but mine?" I muttered.

Erin slapped my arm playfully, "Give it a rest, Rush, I'm buying at least two for my apartment in San Francisco and Soho."

I rolled my eyes, smirking, and shrugged, "Okay, whatever."

"Are you feeling better, Angelus?" Sabrina cut in quietly, "Uh, Pete was asking about you."

My face started to warm up, my ears burning in lightening speed, which Erin picked up on, but she didn't say anything out loud, she just smiled at me still, her eyes wondering just past my eyes. I knew she was noticing my beet red ears.

I nodded towards Sabrina, "I'm okay. I just...feel a little sick."

"Do you want to go home?" She asked.

"Nah, I can't leave you here alone," I persisted, rubbing my left ear, "it's only another hour, right? I'll be fine."

Sabrina gave me a soft smile and rubbed my shoulder tenderly, "Let's get going, there are plenty of questions about our paintings we need to answer."

There was a sweet knowing look on her face, so I agreed, following her and Erin's lead out of the ladies room. My heart wasn't hammering, it was at the perfect rate, though my hands were clammy, and my ears still burned. Despite all that, my heart was beating at the perfect rhythm.

"Angelus," Pete came over, the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled up, "you disappeared on me."

The way he spoke was like a tongue-in-cheek joke. As playful as I remembered.

"Sorry," I exhaled, "I wasn't feeling well, but I'll get be fine."

Pete smiled at me; the heaviness that had once been on his shoulders seemed to float away. I was ready to hug him, but just as I stepped up to him to do so, this guy grabbed my elbow, "Hey, Angelus Rush?"

"Angelus Holohan," Sabrina corrected as I looked back at the man still holding my elbow gently.

The man, along with a few people around us let out small, polite laughs; I smiled faintly, "Yes?"

"Can I ask you a few questions?" The man continued, letting my elbow go.

I was led away, this time without really wanting to be, and was asked about one of my pieces, as was Sabrina, leaving Pete behind. I felt terrible, I wanted to apologize, but I could barely wave, or even see his face, saying over the questions, "I'll be back!"

I didn't see his face, I felt so bad.

That's how it was the rest of the night: I was hoisted around like a toy, being asked questions about this and that. I could barely remember painting half of anything in there; all my mind really focused on was going home, checking on my babies, and then going to bed. Sabrina was surprisingly buzzed with excitement and thriving off how we were finally having our gallery recognized, which I was happy about. I tried not to tell myself, or say out loud, that it was because of who I knew and who my friends were was the reason we got so many visitors and had to have a guest list and send personal invites out. Not wanting to disappoint Sabrina, I let her excitement gush on; I did let her know that it was her better half of her art that made it such a huge success.

After the showing was over, the caterers and security were gone, the building was nearly empty. I was surprised to see Joe and Marie waiting for me by the entry. I was really shocked to see Pete with them, laughing softly at something Joe was saying. Sabrina and I had our coats on, ready to close up the gallery, when we approached them.

"Hey," I breathed as I stepped by them, "sorry for the disappearing act."

"You're popular and talented," Marie said sweetly, "don't apologize."

"Thanks," I replied; I wasn't in the mood to disagree with anyone. "So, tomorrow, play date?"

Joe nodded happily, "No doubt! Anthony told me you guys got a play date too?"

I rolled my eyes with laugh, "Hey, I can't help it if my children are just as popular with adults as their mother is."

Sabrina giggles beside me, "You can say that again."

I swallowed, wondering if Pete would pick up on any of it. He only stood back, checking his phone.

"What time is good for you?" Marie asked.

"Uh," I looked at my phone, viewing the time, "Shit, it's already midnight? I don't even--"

Sabrina put her hand on my shoulder, "I'll take them to school for ya, if you need me to."

I shook my head, exhaling, "No, no, I think I'll have Big Bob drop them off. Will you pick them up?"

Sabrina agreed, "No problem."

I thought for a moment, "Um, anytime after 1 is good for me," I told Marie.

"1:30 is great! We'll be finishing up with the cake decorators."

Marie and I traded phones to exchange numbers, but she took a bit longer to give me my iPhone back. I wasn't surprised that she had accidentally pressed the home button, thinking it was her own phone, and had seen my home screen; a picture of Jojo and Sammy. The large eyes and look of shock on her face said it all; I couldn't speak, I could only hand her phone back to her.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow," I murmured as calmly and casually as I could.

Marie forced a smile, "Y-yeah, sure. See ya, Angel. You too, Sabrina."

Sabrina looked confused, but waved, "Same here."

Joe and Marie left, leaving Pete by himself. Sabrina gave us a look, "Uh..."

"Let's go, I'll walk you next door to your loft," I said quickly. "Pete?"

Pete had stuffed his phone away into his pants' pocket and gave a nod, "Yeah. I'll gonna hop a cab to Gabe's."

Pete pulled his dress coat and then a large hoodie that he seemed to swim in, and then followed us out. He didn't utter a word until Sabrina was unlocking her loft door, saying something over traffic behind us, along the lines of, "Nice paintings."

"Thank you," she looked back at us once, "thank you for joining us."

"It was great. Uh, please don't lose my number, I really want that water coloring..." He said a bit louder, "what is it called again?"

Sabrina looked at me, then back at Pete, "Daydream...after the Smashing Pumpkins's song."

I smiled at the memories and songs; she had remembered how I played the Smashing Pumpkins songs while I had doodled and took photos of the same painting of Sammy. I mouthed a thank you to her.

"That's so cool," Pete chuckled, "I really want it. It's like you took a picture of my kid brother and made it...sweet."

My stomach twisted so violently I almost had to double over; neither of them noticed. They both said short goodbyes before Pete and I started off. It was a quiet walk and I was unsure as to what was happening here.

"When are you gonna catch a cab?" I asked him.

He shrugged, "I'm gonna fine some late night fancy diner and get some food...maybe find a night club and get some drink and then get cab to Gabe's."

I wanted to talk to him then, but I was so tired, I was certain to say anything. There was a short thought of bringing him home with me, but then I remembered the amount of photos I had of Sammy. My heart began to pick up.

"Pete, you wanna get coffee?"



There was an actual upscale burger joint among some sushi bars and night clubs opened up late. Pete and I got a booth, sitting quietly, though there were a few younger people, who had just finished partying, giving us looks and asking below their breaths if it was Pete Wentz or not, and who was I. Pete didn't seem to hear them or he chose not to, but he did take ahold of my wrist, gently, so I guessed he had heard them.

We ordered cokes (and then coffee), and sliders with fries that were gone within minutes. The two of us didn't talk until our food was gone. The silence was quite nice, aside from the obnoxious whispering that was not at all discrete.

"So, what's been up with you?" Pete asked; his voice was soft; his large hoodie and dress coat was gone, folded over a chair beside us

I exhaled softly, "A lot of stuff..."

"Rae told me your folks died," he mumbled so low I almost had to strain to hear him.

"Yeah..." I stretched the word before taking a sip of my coffee.

"And you had a kid," he added, his eyes stayed down at his cup of coffee.

My heart shot into my throat in that exact moment; "Y-yeah. Yep. I did. A little boy. Sammy."

Pete looked up at me, "My little dude and yours should hang sometime."

I bit at my lip, unsure of what to say. But, in that moment, as Pete had finished his sentence, the look on his face changed...he looked angry and sick. He didn't say a word as he got up and walked off towards this narrow path leading towards the men's room.

I exhaled deeply as I pulled my phone out, unlocked it and went straight to my photos. I flipped through them, settling my nerves as I looked at each picture of my kids together, then some of them apart, with me, or with John's family. Then, I got to the first pictures I ever saved to my phone; pictures of John and I; I had forgotten all about them being there.

"Sorry," Pete muttered, startling me, "I got a call."

I set my phone aside, "It's okay."

"Are you hungry still?" Pete asked softly; his voice was gentle and caring.

My nerves were great, they were sailing over his tender demeanor.

"No, no, I'm okay. I'm not that hungry anymore. But..." I exhaled again, "will you come back to my loft with me? I think we should talk in private... 'n there's some stuff I want to..." I trailed, trying to figure out how to say what I needed to say. "Some stuff I need to say to you."

Pete nodded, a brow raising, "Okay."

We split the bill and then took a cab to my loft. The entire ride my hands were freezing cold and wet, clammy again. My heart was beating hard under my coat and my knees shook, they knocked into each other, I was sure I would have bruises in the morning.

Pete paid the cab driver, ignoring my offer to pay even half, and followed behind as I led the way. My hands shook and were slippery, even after wiping them on my coat, I could barely open the lock. We stepped in, I locked the door and we took the lift up.

Inside, I decided to warn him; "Pete," I began, "before we go in, could you just take my hand and follow me to the kitchen?"

Pete looked at me, nodding his head, confused, "Um, sure?"

"I'm nervous, sorry."

"It's okay, Angel," he answered sweetly.

I inhaled, praying mentally that this would end well.