Live every second

Tom's POV

Bill was about to go into surgery, and I was still sitting by his bedside. His eyes kept flicking back and forth between me and the door, I was guessing to see if the doctors were coming for him. He looked at me quickly, locking with my eyes. I passed him the pad of paper I had brought him, giving him a pen along with it. I put my hand on his arm as he wrote, waiting for his words.

The doctors came in before he could finish. They pulled his bed away as Bill passed me the pad. I didn't look at it, thinking it would be irrelevant for the moment. I said my goodbye as they wheeled him out the door and sat back down in my chair. When I looked at the paper I was shocked. I read it over and over, waiting for my eyes to just have played a trick on me.

“I love you” It read. I sat in the chair, absent mindlessly thinking about all the things it could mean. It felt like no time and Bill was back in the room with me. He was unconscious, and they told me not to wake him, to let him wake up on his own. I picked up the pen from the side table and wrote my own message.

I put it on Bill's lap, the pen closed and laid on top. My stomach rumbled loudly, reminding me I was only human. I made my way down to the hospital cafeteria, patting my pockets to make sure I had money. I bought myself a sandwich of some kind, and a soda. I sat down at one of the small tables, letting my mind run blank.

Bill's POV

The last thing I remembered I was counting backwards from ten. Now, I was sleeping while sitting up in my hospital room. I felt a strange weight on my lap and I looked down at it. It was the note pad me and Tom had been writing on for the last couple days. I looked at the last thing I had writing, which I surprisingly didn't regret, but found another message underneath it.

“I love you too” Was written in Tom's crowded small hand writing. I smiled to myself, letting my head rest on the back of the bed. I kept my hands gripped around the pad and let my mind wander.

“Bill?” A familiar voice asked from next to me. I jolted awake, not remembering falling asleep. “You're awake!” Tom whispered. The smile on his face showed relief, but the anxiety in his eyes lingered. When he saw my fingers wrapped around the pad his smiled grew even more. “You read it yet?”

I nodded, smiling widely. “Good.” He looked like he didn't know what to say. I clicked the pen, revealing the ink stained tip. “I don't want this to change anything. I just wanted to tell you I loved you.” His smile faded a little as he followed my hand across the page. “I'm sorry, I jus-” He stopped my hand and looked into my eyes. “I know, I was just... hoping more then I should have.” He sighed. He looked down at the floor, and stood up from his seat.

“I'm gonna...head home alright? I need some sleep.” My face fell as his words reached my ears, but I nodded slowly. “I'll be back in the morning, I promise.” He forced a smile to come to his face, although it didn't work, at least he was trying.

I spent the rest of my night thinking. From what I had experienced it was going to be a roller coaster being with Tom. The question was, could I live with it? Apparently I fell asleep, because I woke up in the early afternoon the next day. Tom was sitting in the chair next to my bed and a bouquet of flowers was sitting on the night stand. When Tom sensed my consciousness he looked up from his lap. “Morning little brother. How are you feeling?” I forced a smile, knowing he was forcing his emotions. “That bad huh?” He laughed.

I sighed and turned my attention to the flowers. “Mom sent those over this morning. She had to get to work, but she gives her best. She'll be along to see you later tonight.” Gustav and Georg came in the door as he was finishing his sentence. He smiled and greeted them both with a hug. Gustav came and sat on my bed while Georg caught up with Tom.

“So, how ya been little guy?” He laughed, teasing me about being the youngest. I smiled genuinely, a small laugh escaping my lips. “How long are you supposed to be silent?” I held up ten fingers, and Gustav widened his eyes comically. “And you actually think you can do it?” I picked up the pad of paper, flipping to a new page quickly.

“Its much easier when its forced upon you, Gus.” I wrote quickly. He nodded his eyes and shifted himself on my bed, sitting on his foot.

“I know this isn't the best time to ask, but how are things between you and Tom? Still on the rocks?” He asked seriously.

“We're not ,” I paused my hand, trying to think of the words. “together anymore. It's a long story.” I wrote slowly, Gustav reading over my shoulder.

“I never thought I'd say this, but, you should be. Tom brings out a side of you I've never seen, and you do the same to him. I'm gonna sound so girly when I say this, but he loves you more then you think he does.” He explained. I closed my eyes and nodded my head again, knowing exactly what he was talking about. Tom made me the happiest I had been in my entire life. Before I knew I loved him I was just waiting. I knew the one person that I loved more then anything would always make me happy. I just never thought the love I had with that person would be so hard.