18 and Life to Go

[Juliette's POV.]

I had no intentions of going straight home. Not after what had just happened.

I hurried down the all too familiar road to get to the hospital. It was a bit of a walk, but I should get there just in time for visiting hours to start.

I reached there, gave them my details and filed into Lizzy's room.

There she was, laying motionless, hooked up to god knows how many machines. It wasn't a new sight to me, but it got me every time. Every time I'd come here to have a one-sided chat with her, the machines would just lower my hopes until there was pretty much nothing left of them.

I pulled up one of those uncomfortable hospital chairs beside her bed and sat down, putting my hot chocolate down on the beside cabinet.

"Hey Lizzy," I said softly. "How are you doing? It's been a while since last time I came to visit you... Sorry."

I looked around the room for a bit before continuing. "Holly came to see you, the other day. With Jake and Nancy. I know Dan's been here a fair few times, but how often, I wouldn't know. Speaking of Dan, you know how he's living with us, right? Yeah, I told you that. I don't know if you remember it, or even registered it in the first place. That's alright... The doctors tell me I should keep talking to you. You know how much I don't trust any doctor apart from The Doctor," I giggled, then continued, "but I'm making an effort. They might know their shit."

I sighed sadly. "I... Today, something rather terrible happened. Er, I broke up with Phil. I... I still can't quite wrap my head around it. You know, like at the end of an amazing movie, you have to slowly snap back into reality and realize your life will never be that awesome? Yeah, it's kinda like that."

I took a deep breath. I wasn't gonna start crying. Not here, not now. "The reason was so ridiculous... I have half a mind to call him and apologize and tell him that I didn't really mean the things I said, like I've done many times before. But this time... This time, it's different than our other arguments. I didn't look back; he didn't follow. And I'm not gonna turn back now. I can't do that to him. He's now free to find someone who deserves him more than I do... Because let's face it, he's pretty much perfect and I'm just me, you know? I know you'd argue if you could, but come on, who are we kidding? It's much better this way..."

"I mean, after all, senior year. It's not like we're going to go to the same college next year. We don't have the same ambitions, the same hopes and expectations for the future. And that's cool when it comes to a relationship, you know? But then when it comes to the technicalities, it's not so cool. It's more frustrating than anything else."

"But it's whatever. It'll all be fine, in the end. I'm sure of it."

I patted her gingerly on the hand before standing up, pushing the chair back and picking up my drink. "I've got to get back. It's starting to get super cold outside and if I wait any longer it'll be worse. You know how much I despise the cold. Thanks for listening, eh, dummy. Hope I'll be able to hear your input soon enough..."

I stepped out of the room, closing the door softly behind me. I inhaled deeply, then thought, "It'll all get better. One day..."