Sempiternal

She didn't tell Dean. She didn't tell him about her mother and she felt terrible about it.

"Lucy, what's wrong?" Dean asked frantically over the phone.

"I'm in Boston. I need you."

She was so over crying. She felt like she had dried out her lacrimal glands.

"Babe, what happened?" He asked as he opened his hotel room door.

"Please just hold me."

But she didn't tell him. She knew that he would be there for her when she decided to tell him, but the wound needed to scab up first before she could pick at it. He stayed with her, though. Attending to her every need for three days.

"She hasn't said anything. Nothing. I don't want to pry, but it's like she's not even there." He was talking to Roman in the hallway.

Roman sighed. "I don't know, man."

She sat on the edge of the bed as Dean walked back into the room. His head was hung low, a plastic bag dangled from his hand. She had asked for one thing; a carton of Rocky Road. When Dean pulled it out of the bag and handed it to her along with a plastic spoon, she began crying again.

"Lucy, you have to tell me what happened. I can't help you if I don't know."

"I- I just don't know what I did. What did I do to deserve this?" She wiped her eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie.

"Deserve what?" He asked, positioning himself in between her knees.

"She was supposed to be perfect. And- and I get there and sh- she's fucked up; snorting heroine with her n-neighbor." Dean sighed. "I just told her about- about how I fucking st-struggled with it for so long, and I come home from the store and she's-" Lucy trailed off, falling apart again in Dean's arms. "She begged me to stay, she said she needed help. She wanted money, I knew she was going to want money."

"Sssh, don't cry." He cooed. "Lucy, listen to me. Look at me." Lucy looked up into navy blue eyes. "You made it this far without her. A half of a day isn't going to change who you are. You don't need her." Lucy looked down at her lap and sniffled. "Hey, look. Look at me. You don't need her. I'm here, okay, and I'm not going anywhere. Alright? Lucy you have people here, right here, right in front of you that care about you so much. They care about you. Roman, Adam, Brie, and Dolph- as much as I hate to admit it. They all care about you. You mean something to someone. It may not be the person that you want it to be, but it's better than no one."

He held her face in his hands and kissed her lips. Her eyes were puffy and pink, and oily from crying so much. He ran his thumbs underneath them, drying the tear streaks that trailed down her cheeks.

"Please no more crying." He whispered. "I can't handle it."

She nodded.

"Let's feast on some ice cream, how's that sound? There's a chick-flick over there with your name on it." He pointed to the Redbox movie he had picked up while he was out.

"Dean." She said as she grabbed his wrist as he walked towards the TV.

"Hmmm?"

"I love you. I don't care if you don't feel the same way, or if it's not the same type of love. You don't have to say it back, but I love you. You have completely consumed me. You make me want to be a better person. We may have had a rough start, but all you've ever done is support me. I love you."

He didn't say anything, only turned around and placed the DVD in the tray. He sat down on the bed, fluffing up the pillows, and then pulled her towards him. She was okay, she didn't need to hear him say those words yet. She knew he cared, and that was all that mattered.



Two days later, Lucy sat ring side for the Money In The Bank pay-per-view in a sold out TD Garden in Boston.

Dean had made sure that she was front and center. When she got to her seat she sent him a picture of the ring with the words, "you better flex for me".

The Usos demolished Erik Rowan and Luke Harper. It was a great match and Lucy loved being right there to see all of it. They replayed Seth's betrayal when their match was over, followed by Dean threatening to ruin the pay-per-view. Dean then popped up on the titantron. Lucy smiled brightly.

"Seth Rollins you have no idea how badly I want to grab you by your tie, by the little pells of that shiny new suit and just rip you apart. but climbing up that ladder and grabbing that briefcase tonight means everything. Because in that briefcase is a contract for a WWE title match. So the question is do I climb up that ladder and grab that briefcase, or do I use that ladder and smash your face in? Is it case or face? Case or face? Case or face? Case or face? Why not both!? Seth Rollins, you think of yourself as a master strategist but you made a big mistake when you asked your Daddy Triple H to put me in this match tonight. Because when I walk out of Boston with that briefcase and a contract for a WWE Championship match, Seth, Daddy's gonna be mad at you."

Lucy laughed. She heard a few kids in the crowd talking about how awesome he was. She couldn't be more proud of him.

Naomi was up next in her championship against Paige. Lucy wished that Naomi would win, but she knew that if Cameron had anything to do with it, she'd lose. Lucy noticed how every time Naomi was down, Cameron had a smile plastered on her face. Yet, when Naomi lost, she was consoling her in the middle of the ring.

When Adam came out to face Damien Sandow he winked at Lucy as he made his entrance. The girl sitting next to her swore up and down that he was actually winking at her. Lucy wasn't about to crush her dream. She cheered loudly for Adam throughout the entire match, and sung his theme song with the rest of TD Garden when the Rosebuds started getting the crowd going. Adam finally put Damien away with the Party Foul, and Lucy jumped from her seat. Adam slid from the ring and skipped his way over to Lucy, giving her a sweaty hug.

"I miss you, Lucy!" He yelled over the music.

"I miss you, too!"

"Come back to the Exotic Express!" He jumped back in the ring with the rest of the Rosebuds and celebrated his first pay-per-view win.

It was finally time for the contract ladder match. Seth's music hit first. When he came into view, his eyes were dead set on Lucy. He didn't look away once, except to glance at the briefcase hanging above the ring. He stared at her for what seemed like hours. Lucy felt like she was the size of a thumbtack. When Rob Van Dam's music poured through the speakers, Seth broke their icy stare down, and focused on his opponent entering the ring. Jack Swagger was next, followed by Dolph Ziggler who also threw a wink her way when he slid on to the apron.

"Do you know them or something?" The girl next to her asked.

"I work for the company. Tonight's just my night off." Lucy replied.

Kofi was next to enter the arena, but when Dean's music hit the crowd went insane. Immediately he slid into the ring, taking down Seth who was trash-talking him. The bell hadn't even rung yet, and the two were already spilling out on to the floor. Dean threw Seth over the time keepers area, taking a dozen punched to Seth's face.

Lucy pressed her lips into a thin line to keep from smiling.

Kofi was the first to grab a ladder. He had the ring cleared, more than halfway up the ladder. Lucy eyed Dean, but he didn't even seem to care that Kofi could win this match in record time. He turned around, turning his attention to the ring and slid in, pushing Kofi's ladder on to it's side. Kofi jumped off the top rope, taking out Swagger, Ziggler, and Van Dam in a single splash.

It took Dean a minute to realize he was in the clear to set the ladder back up again. Lucy noticed Seth out of the corner of her eye jump up and run into the ring, pulling Dean from the ladder, and being climbing it himself. It went back and forth like that for a moment. Each man trying to knock off each other like children on a playground. Dean threw Seth into the ladder. A loud "let's go Ambrose" chant flooded the arena and Lucy cheered with them loudly.

Dean set Seth up for a suplex onto a ladder in the corner of the ring, but Seth countered, flipping Dean around so he would be the one on the receiving end of a suplex. Dean won though, sending Seth flaying back into the steel. Dean set a ladder back up underneath the hanging briefcase. Jack Swagger entered the ring moments later, pulling Dean off, climbing the ladder himself. Dean switched sides after pulling Swagger off a second time, but Swagger held on to Dean's leg, seemingly trying to go for the Patriot Lock. Kingston, Ziggler, and Van Dam all enter the ring, trying for the spot at the top.

"Come on Dean!" Lucy yelled loudly.

Dolph and Kofi were at the top of the ladder before Jack entered the ring again. Dean sent him over the top rope before Kofi and Dolph sent Dean over the top rope. Lucy eyed Seth, laying in wait by the apron, catching his breath. He looked at her every few seconds. He finally hopped up, taking out Dolph and Kingston with a ladder to the face. Rob Van Dam then drop kicked Seth, sending him into the ropes. It was evident that Seth was getting his ass kicked in this match. Lucy cheered for RVD as he gave Seth a beating.

Dean ran into the ring with intent to take out Van Dam, but the veteran was on a roll and sent Dean out of the ring with a kick to the head. He sent Dolph home next after a drop kick onto a ladder. The Show Off rolled out of the ring, clutching his head.

"Dolph it's not that bad!" Lucy yelled at him as loud as she could. He frowned at her, still clutching his head.

The men battled it out in the ring, Jack Swagger taking out his frustrations on Rob Van Dam, until RVD sent him off the top of a ladder. Seth then joined the veteran at the top of the ladder, until Swagger pulled Van Dam back down to the canvas.

Dean went after Seth, setting him up for a suplex from the top of the ladder. Lucy breath got caught in her throat as she witnessed what was about to take place. She silently prayed for someone to stop them. As the two men fell from ten feet in the air, time stopped for Lucy. Dean landed on his neck and Seth lay flat, un-moving, in the center of the ring.

Dean propped himself up, locking eyes with Lucy just long enough for her to mouth the words, 'what the fuck was that'. He taunted the crowd, rallying them to root for him. It didn't last long when Ziggler sent him out of the ring with a drop kick. Swagger found himself alone in the ring, ascending the ladder, Van Dam wasn't far behind. Lucy saw Seth pop up on the opposite side of the ring. He slides in the ring with Dean and the two, seemingly working together, pull Van Dam and Swagger off of the ladder.

The former teammates brawl at the top of the ladder just inches away from the contract that hung above their heads. Dean knocked Seth off, but took his time getting to the contract. Swagger slid into the ring, pulling at Dean's leg again, allowing Dean to plant a vicious DDT off the ladder. Something was wrong. He held his left arm close to his body as he tried knocking Seth off the ladder once again. WWE officials swarmed the Lunatic Fringe. Lucy had no idea what was going on, but he was fighting them. Every ringside official pointed for Dean to go up the ramp. Lucy shook her head in disbelief, wondering if she should go after him or stay where she was. She caught eyes with Dolph, who gave her a quick 'stay there' signal.

The crowd booed loudly as Dean disappeared behind the curtain. Seth saw this as his opportunity, replacing the ladder back underneath the gold. Rob Van Dam intercepted, sending Seth down a few rungs with a kick to the head. Kofi set up some sort of contraption off the top rope and sent Seth flying off of it, tumbling back down to the canvas. The crowd rallied for Kofi to seize the chance to grab the contract, but Dolph ruined the moment.

Ziggler cleaned house, taking out everyone, the crowd was going wild; including Lucy, who if Dean couldn't win, wanted Dolph to be next in line to get the briefcase. He set up the ladder, moments away from claiming victory before Jack Swagger locked down on his ankle. Dolph couldn't tap out, those weren't the rules. Swagger had his opponent's leg almost bent in half, but Dolph still held on tight to the ladder. Ziggler finally kicked Swagger off as he clung to the ladder for dear life.

Out of nowhere, Seth attacked Dolph with a chair to his bad ankle. He swatted The Show Off across the back with the steel, letting out a vicious snap that rang throughout the entire arena. The crowd began cheering for Dean once more as Seth began his climb.

"Come on, Dean." Lucy whispered among the chaos.

Suddenly the crowd burst into cheer as Dean sprinted back down the ramp. Lucy screamed, jumping up and down as her man came to save the day. Dean picked up the chair and smacked Seth right across the back. Revenge. Seven times he hit Seth with that chair before throwing him out of the ring. This was it. This was his moment. Nothing was stopping him.

He was actually going to win.

Lucy was elated.

The crowd was marking out.

All four ring posts burst with a hot, red flame.

No.

Dean desperately reached for the briefcase that was slipping away further and further, trying to end the match and win before Kane could make his way down to the ring. The Demon Kane tried pulling Dean down, but Dean countered, kicking the man off. Kane got the upper hand, though and thwarted Dean with a Chokeslam. He lifted Dean up over his shoulders and buried him with a Tombstone Piledriver that made Lucy flinch. She had always hated that move.

Seth slithered his way into the ring with Kane, Dean immobile in the corner. Kane held the ladder as Seth climbed to the top. Lucy couldn't watch any longer. She sat in her seat with her head in her hands. When the bell rang, Lucy looked up. Seth was smiling down at the crowd, locking eyes with her once again as he hugged his golden briefcase tight.

He met The Authority, Stephanie and Triple H, at the top of the ramp for a small celebratory gathering. Dean still lay in the ring motionless. Lucy no longer cared about Seth winning, or how happy his adopted family was for him. She cared about if Dean was okay.

She hopped up, sneaking off backstage, making her way towards Gorilla. Seth was already gone, and she was thankful for that. After the stare down they had throughout the entire match, she didn't want to see him face-to-face. She'd probably smack him, and then she'd be fired and never allowed back in an arena again.

"Hey there, stud." She said as she saw Dean walking towards the medical office.

"You should be in the audience, ma'am." He said, smirking down at her.

"Yeah, yeah I'll get back there after I make sure you're okay." She replied, lacing her fingers with his as they walked down the empty hallway.

"I know I didn't get you that ticket so you could stare at Ziggler's ass all night, did you even pay attention to what happened out there?" He asked.

Lucy laughed. "Yes, I did. That's why I'm back here. What's going on with your shoulder?"

"It got dislocated." Dean replied as he rubbed it. "It's been acting up lately."

"You scare me out there, doing DDT's off of ladders and nearly snapping yourself in half as you suplex Seth off the top rung."

The duo stopped in front of the medical office.

"I'm sorry, darlin'. At least I have you to doctor me up later." He replied with a smirk. He ducked down to kiss her just as the door to the office burst open. Dolph Ziggler stepped through the threshold, an apologetic look on his face.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt." He said smoothly as he slid around the two.

Dean turned into the office, leaving Lucy in the hallway with her friend. She slapped his butt as he walked away.

"So, are you two dating yet or what?" Dolph asked.

"I-I don't know." She sighed. Dolph could tell that it bothered her that Dean hadn't made anything official yet. "It feels like we are, but I just don't know."

"Well, you should ask him. There's a line of guys who'd jump at the chance to be yours." Lucy blushed.

Dolph walked away, favoring his ankle that had been victimized by Jack Swagger.

Lucy waited outside the exam room for Dean. When he finally came back out, he smiled warmly at her, ducking his head to meet her with a kiss.

"Dean, can I ask you a question?" She said quietly as they walked back towards the arena.

"Anything in the world."

"What are we doing?" Dean stopped walking and turned to face her. His brows came together. "What is this?" She motioned between the two of them.

He sighed and dropped his shoulders. "It's us, Luce. It's just us. Two people who lo- care about each other. Do we have to put a description on it? I don't want anyone else, you don't want anyone else, right?"

Lucy frowned and nodded her head. "I'll see you out there." She said disappointed, leaving him standing in the hallway.



For the rest of the show, Lucy felt distant. She couldn't keep her mind off of the fact that she poured her heart out to Dean, she loved Dean, and he wouldn't even call her his girlfriend. She wouldn't let herself have a good time. She watched as Rusev beat Big E, Layla won over Summer Rae, and finally when John Cena won the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.

Afterwards, she walked through the back hallways towards the parking garage, head down. Something gold caught her eye, she looked up to see Seth headed her way, suitcases in tow, and Randy Orton not far behind. Dressed in a grey suit, he was holding his briefcase with a cocky grin on his face. He looked good. The Authority attire definitely suited him shook her head of her thoughts, and looked for a place to hide, but there was no where to hide. Finally, after weeks, she would come face-to-face with Seth Rollins.

He stopped in front of her, and before he could open his mouth to speak, Lucy reached up and smacked him across the face. It was just them in the hallway. Her, Seth, and his new best friend who had his fists balled, trying to look as threatening as possible.

"It's okay, Randy. I got this. I'll meet up with you in a minute." Seth told The Viper as he held his cheek. Randy asked Seth if he was sure, but Seth assured him that he was, and he stalked off.

He went to say something else, but Lucy wasn't done. She reached up to smack him again, but this time he caught her wrist, yanking her towards him, and before she could protest, crashed his lips onto hers in a rough, passionate kiss. Her entire body gave in, her legs wrapped around his torso as his hands roamed her body. Her fingers snaked around the curls of his hair as he pinned her against the wall, the kiss deepening with each second. His beard tickled at her cheeks as his tongue danced with hers. She moaned into his mouth as her arms wrapped around his neck. His lips trailed to her jawline, to the base of her ear, to her collarbone. He touched their foreheads together for a moment, their eyes closed, taking a breath before closing the small space between their lips once more. It was like she needed him for oxygen, breathing in the air that he had in his lungs. Like this was what she had been waiting for all along.

But it wasn't what she was waiting for.

What was she doing?

She couldn't do this.

Her eyes flew open and she pushed Seth off of her, colliding the palm of her hand with his face once more. "What the fuck are you doing?!"

Seth laughed. "What are you doing?"

"I'm with Dean, now." She said. But she wasn't sure if she was trying to convince herself or Seth.

"Are you? Are you 'with' Dean now? You know, that's funny Lucy, because you were just wrapped around me. It's funny because he really doesn't want you. No one wants you, Lucy. No one wants little Ms. Damaged Goods hanging around every waking second. You think Dean wants you?" He laughed again. "He's probably fucking someone else right now. And Roman? You think he's your friend? He's just too nice to say otherwise. No one likes you, Lucy. No one wants you here. You're worthless."

"Hey!" Lucy heard from behind her. "What's going on here?"

It was Roman.

"Nothing, Roman." Lucy replied. Her voice was shakey.

"It don't seem like nothing to me, Lucy girl. Are you okay?" She nodded. "Go get in the car, I'll be right behind you."

Lucy looked up at Seth one more time. His eyes were filled with the dark, black-brown that she hated. She took off down the hall, trying to get away as fast as she could without crying.

"You don't talk to her like that. You hear me? I don't care what happened. You talk to her like that again and I'll shove that briefcase up your little twink ass, got it?"

She ran from their arguing out into the parking lot, past the cars, and into downtown Boston. The cool air calmed her down as she caught her breath. Her hands were on the top of her head, breathing in deeply. All that she wanted to do was cry, and kiss Seth one more time. She was coming apart at the seams, not knowing what she wanted anymore. After it had seemed like everyone she cared about had left her, abused her, and abandoned her, all that she really wanted was for someone to stick around.

Yet she pushed everyone away.

What if Seth was right? What if Dean didn't want her there?

What if Roman really was too nice to tell her to leave?

What if everyone just pitied her?

It's got to be true, she told herself. Dean would never tell you he loved you, because he doesn't. He never will. You're too whiney, too dependent, too self conscious. You're not pretty, you're not smart, and you're not funny. He will never want to be with you because there will always be something better out there for him than you. And besides, you don't love him. You just love the attention.

Her phone rang, it was Roman.

"Hello?" She asked, her voice still unsteady.

"Lucy girl, where'd you go?"

"I just needed to go for a walk. I'll meet you guys back at the hotel."

"Be careful."

She hung up the phone and walked deeper into the streets of Boston. What was she doing out here? She ignored the catcalls from random men on the street, walking with her head high as she clutched her bag closer to her person with each man that she passed.

She knew she shouldn't be here.

This wasn't a good idea.

Turn around, she told herself.

"What are you looking for?" She heard from behind her.

"Excuse me?"

"Only thing you're going to find around here is heroine and cocaine. And judging by the tracks on your arms, you're looking for heroine." He wasn't a big man. He was tall, much taller than her, and as thin as a rail. His face was contorted, hallowed out, scabs around his jawline. Lucy knew that look too well; this man was an addict.

She turned her back towards him, making it look as if she was looking for a taxi. "A gram?"

"$300." He said. "It's good. Pure, china white."

"Will you settle for $250?"

The man grunted, but accepted her offer. Lucy turned back around, and brushed past him, secretly swapping her cash for a small baggie of the off white powder. Her body itched at having it in her hands. It had been too long. As she walked away from the man she cried silently.

When she got back to the hotel, Roman knocked on her door.

"Dean went to grab a drink with some of the guys." Roman said when she got back to the hotel.

"How much of that did you see?" She asked him, meaning the conversation she had with Seth, and the kiss.

Roman sighed. "I saw all of it." Lucy dropped her head. "I haven't said anything to Dean, but you need to."

She nodded. "I'm going to take a shower. I'll see you tomorrow."

Roman hugged her and left, leaving Lucy standing in the middle of her hotel room. She opened her hand, which she had been clutching her heroine in since she had gotten back, and stared down at it; the small bag resting so lightly in the middle of her palm. Before she came back, she stopped by a drug store and picked up a pack of needles. She told the cashier that she had diabetes, and needed insulin shots. She turned on the shower, but she didn't get in. Instead she sat in the floor and she mixed up her drug in a spoon. Her veins were on fire as she tied up her arm with a scarf, creating a make-shift tourniquet.

Her whole body shook with anticipation as she drew the liquid into the syringe and felt out a good vein to use. The Brachial artery was the best to tap, and the high hit fast. She dug her fingers into the crease of her arm until she could feel the fat vein moving underneath her skin. Her forehead was beaded with sweat as the needle came closer and closer to penetrating.

Stop, her mind screamed at her. She didn't listen.

She emptied every drop into her bloodstream. A shower of stars surrounded her as her body went limp.