Sempiternal

It was slow motion.

Everything.

She was just there. He was just looking into her eyes. All of his wishes had just been granted. Only for doctors and nurses to flood the room, pushing him aside as they tried to revive her one more time.

"Clear!" Nothing.

Each shock felt like a piece of Dean's heart had been cut off. If he had to describe the pain, it'd be the worst pain he had ever felt; a serrated, rusty knife sawing back and forth on the soft flesh of his heart. His chest was tight, palms sweaty, knees trembling. He was on the edge of imploding. If there wasn't a beep that came through that heart monitor, he would lose it.

"Clear!" Nothing.

They were giving up.

Seth had left the room, sliding down the concrete wall beside the door where inside, his best friend since he could remember was lifeless on a gurney. He balled his fist, hitting the tile floor repeatedly until purple bruises had formed on the surface of his knuckles. Roman wanted to comfort Dean; wrap his arm around him, pull him away from the scene, something. But at every attempt his best friend pushed him away.

"Time of death: 8:14 a.m."

The doctors, the nurses, each one of them filed out of the room with a solemn look on their faces. Each of them muttered the words 'I'm sorry', a phrase Dean was absolutely sick of hearing.

Lucy was gone.

Gone.

She wasn't just gone for a week.

She was gone.

Dead.

"No." He cried, salty tears glistened on his face in the overhead fluorescent lights.

"Dean." Roman laid a hand on his brother's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. He wrapped his arm around his friend's shoulders and pulled him in for a hug. Dean nearly collapsed in his arms, crying into Roman's shoulder; shaking violently.

Through the tears Dean only stared at Lucy's motionless body, beautifully wrapped in white cotton, pale as snow. All he wanted was to hear her laugh just one more time. One more time, and he would be okay. He knew that wherever she was now, she wasn't in any pain, and she was with the one person she loved more than anyone; her brother.

They had a conversation about God once. Dean remembered it as if it were yesterday. It was after Smackdown; on the roof of the hotel they were staying in. Dean had picked the lock of the door to the roof and the two snuck out there, overlooking the city, with a 40 of Natural Ice.

"This is beautiful." She said, leaning over the edge, looking down at the cars and people making their way through the streets. She looked up at the stars, "I feel like I could touch them."

"Do you believe that one day you will?" He asked, wrapping his arms around her from behind and resting his head on her's.

"I don't know. I want to believe that one day I will see Liam again."

"I'm sure you will." He ducked his head and kissed her on the cheek.

"What about you? Do you believe in God or heaven?"

"I don't know either." He said. "I support people's beliefs, but I'm more of a 'when we die, we die' kind of guy."

If anyone could change that, it was her. He prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed silently in his head for her to find her way. For her to be painless, happy, and most importantly for her to be watching over him. But what was he going to do now without her? He wasn't going to be happy. He wasn't going to be painless.

"Dean, we have to go." Roman said. The nurses had already taken her body. They had cleaned her room, changed the bed sheets. Dean had been sitting in an empty hospital room for hours.

"Go where?" He asked.

"We have a show tonight. It's Monday."

"I'm not going." He said.

Roman sighed. "You have to."

"I don't have to do anything."

"Dean, you can't just sit here, man."

He had a funeral to plan. He had a eulogy to write. He had to bury the woman that he loves. Dean didn't know how to do all of that. How was he going to plan a funeral? What would he say about her in the speech he would have to make? What would he do without her? His mind kept coming back to that question as he stared at the empty cot.

"Where's Seth?"

"Already on a plane. He left a little while ago. Dean, you gotta do this, brother. We'll arrange the funeral plans after Smackdown. It's just one day. And you don't have to do it alone. I'm here. You have me, man. You still got me."

Dean appreciated that.

A few more moments passed and Dean finally stood up; his back ached from sitting in the same, plastic chair for so long. He wasn't looking forward to standing in front of an arena full of screaming fans and lying to them, pretending that everything was okay when it wasn't.



Monday night passed.

Tuesday night passed.

Dean found himself sitting in the back of a Waffle House, arms crossed, beanie pulled low over his forehead. A lonely cup of coffee sat in front of him, by now it was probably lukewarm. He hadn't even taken a sip from it. His overall appearance was bland. There were bags under his eyes, his skin was oily from not taking a shower. He hadn't slept.

A bright pair of headlights caught his attention outside, and he watched as his friend's rental car parked next to his.

"You're late." Dean mumbled as the long haired man slid in the booth opposite him.

"I got stopped by some fans."

It was silent for a minute. A cold, awkward air lingered around them.

"Is that it?"

Dean looked down at the paper sitting underneath his coffee mug. "Yeah."

"Mind if I read it? I assume that's why you asked to meet."

Dean looked at Seth; he was holding back tears and also the urge to punch him. "Yeah." He slid the scrap piece of paper over to his former friend.

"Three months. That was all it too-"

"Not out loud, you piece of shit." Dean threatened.

"Do you want my help or not?"

"I don't need your help. I asked you to meet me here because I fucking miss you, okay? Because as much as I fucking hate you, you're the closest thing that I have to her, alright?"

Seth sighed. A defeated look washed over his face. How long would the two be able to keep this up? Would it really take the death of someone they both loved to make them see eye-to-eye. Would it bring them back together, or push them further apart? "Yeah, alright man." He looked down at the piece of paper that he held in his fingers. Lucy's eulogy. The speech Dean would be making at her funeral. Dean, the one man who never needed a script for anything, who could pull paragraphs out of his mind like he had practiced them for years. "I don't want to read this." He said, pushing the paper back over to Dean. "I'm sure it's perfect."

They sat in silence for a few more moments. Neither of them knowing what to say to the other. Dean turned the paper over in his hands a few times.

"I have no idea what I'm doing." The older man finally said.

"Neither do I." Seth replied. "I thought I didn't need her, you know. But knowing that she's not here makes everything fucking hard. It feels like something as simple as breathing hurts."

Dean nodded. "There isn't going to be a viewing."

"She wouldn't have wanted one, anyways."

"The uh- the spot that she is uh, going to be uh- buried is next to her brother."

Seth sighed. "Good." He then stood up, straightening out his shirt. "I'll see you Sunday, then."

Dean stood up, too. Seth extended his hand towards his old friend. Dean moved it away and pulled Seth in for a hug. "I love you, man." Seth patted Dean on the back a few times, a half-smile crept to his face.

"I love you too, man. No matter what happens."

Seth left the cafe and Dean slid back down into the booth. He stared at the words on the paper that he had written over the past day.

"Three months. That was all it took. What Lucy and I had wasn't some twenty-plus-year love affair. It was quick. I knew the moment I saw her that either I was going to spend the rest of my life with her, or it would be a train wreck. I tried as hard as I could not to fall in love with her, but goddamnit she was just so nice. And it only took three months. We didn't have years to spend together, but it felt like forever. I felt more for her in three months than I have felt in twenty-eight years. And I don't need to tell anyone how amazing she was, anyone who met her knows. She was a fucking angel. I never got to tell her that I love her, and I will regret that every day of my life, but I know that she's in a place with people who love her more than I ever could.

Sempiternal means everlasting, and that's what this is. I will always love her, and I will always be thankful for being able to know her, and how she made me and everyone around her a better person. Luce, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I'll see you again."