Stay for the Night If You Want To

Put those pills away

My voiced echoed curse words through out the mall, and I was afraid I had scared a bunch people away. I couldn't handle the question Vic was asking it was like trying to explain my sexuality to my mom.

I wanted this to be the year were I told Vic my strong feeling for him, that I dream about him lying next to me in my bed, how I wish I could run my fingers through his hair and make out with his perfect lips. I'm too big of a pussy though.

Before I fall asleep at night I think of having a relationship with Vic. What it would be like coming out to our friends, classmates, and parents. Coming out our parents would probably be the worst part. Vic's mom and dad were strange about gays, and Mike probably wouldn't except my friendship anymore. My mom would probably cry herself to sleep at night, but she would love me til the end, because she's always supported me.

"You know the song in writing?" I tried to distracted Vic from the questions he was asking

"Obvisouly." he's snare remarks came

"Well when its finished you'll understand what relationship I want." I stared deep at the side of Vic's face as we walked toward the malls revolving doors.

Vic has read my song, and offered to sing with me, but I feel if we were to sing together I would end up falling for his brown perfect almond shape eyes more than I already have.

Later that night I layer in my bed. I thought about tho being my senior year, and how I was looking forward to all these activities, but at the same time the pain in my heart from not being able to have Vic to myself was driving me insane. I walked over the the medicine cabinet in my bathroom, and picked up some perscription pills I had taken when I was having stress problems.

I popped 15 in my mouth, and layer back down in the middle of my bed. At least if I die tonight my heart won't ach anymore. I closed my eyes, and breathed one last time before I could feel myself start to slip away.

"Kellin! Kellin! Wake up! Please be okay. Mommys here." a panic voice stood above my face.

My eyes slowly opened, when I looked around I had no idea where I was, but it wasn't my room.

I looked over to the corner to see Vic, and Mike standing there. I crookedly smiled.

"Don't smile at me." Vic abruptly started crying.

Mike looked down to his feet not knowing what to say. I looked around some more to figure out where the hell I was even at. On my left arm was a monitor with tubes, and machines hooked up to it. I came to conclusion that I was lying in a hospital bed.

"Mom. I'm sorry." I looked at her with a tear in my eye.

"Honey. Why did you do this? It was the first day of your senior year did you have trouble. Why didn't you talk to me? You can always talk to me baby. Mommys always here for you." she was choking on her words to spit them out with tears running down her bright red cheeks.

"Mom. I'm hurting. I've been hurting since 9th grade. I've been hurting since the beginning. I've been hurting since dad left. This life isn't good for me." the tears raced down my cheeks. I could feel the tears filling my eyes some more, and my eyes started to burn.

I could see Vic across the room through my blurry tears staring at me. He's face was so serious. I knew he has something to say, but his tears were holding him back from it all.

It wasn't long before me, and Vic were left alone.

"Why didn't you tell me Kellin?" Vic slapped my arm. Staring deeply into my eyes.

"I didn't want you to have to worry about my depression on top of yours Vic." I said kindly.

" So you tried to leave me? You were going to leave me here alone? To suffer alone?" his eyes started to swell.

I've never seen Vic cry so much. What he was saying was making my heart feel a little better, but not full pieced right.

"Vic please?" I tried calming him down

"Kellin listen. When you go six feet under. I go six feet under. Don't even pick another pill up, and stick it toward your mouth ever again. You come to me. You let me know your hurting. I'll help your though all of it. I'll be here til the end. Don't ever try to leave me again. You understand?" his started to tremble, but I could tell he was calming himself down.

He hugged me so tight before he walked out of the room. He reassured me he'd be back after school tomorrow. I never wanted him to stop hugging me, but bed time was calling. Unfortunately so was his mother.

I started to dream of Vic. I dreamt we were laying in his room. Holding hand, and out of no where he kissed my lips ever so softly. He hands started to make there way around my body. He straddled over me, and slipped my shirt up over my head, he leaned in for more kisses and our lips fit perfectly together. I could feel our hearts beating faster, and faster.

Vic started unbuttoning my pants "Are you sure Vic?" my hand rested on top of his.

His eyes reconnected with mine "I'm sure Kellin. I want this so bad."

I've never wanted this to happen so bad in my life. Vic quickly undressed like it was a race or like if he didn't undress fast enough i was going to leave. We fucked so hard that i sweat at least two buckets of sweat. I ran my fingers through my hair as Vic pulled me into a kiss, and lay down to cuddle. "Vic? I-I-LO... Never mind."

My eyes flew opened and i turned over to my side "Vic?"

Oh shit it was just a dream. There was my mom lounged on the couch. Sleeping like an angel. The sun was beaming in, and i was still in this crummy hospital bed wearing this nasty hospital gown. I wanna go home. I thought to myself as i glared out the window.