Stay for the Night If You Want To

Having a lot of time laying in this bed I thought about all the mistakes, and theories I've been having.

By fair this is the worst mistake I've ever made in my life. I'm so glad Vic isn't mad at me though. I'm glad he's decided to stay friends with me through everything.

A text message lite my phone up.

Vic: "can I come over?"

Kellin: "sure. Will you do me a favor, and bring my guitar over with you?"

Since I was going to be in the hospital for three more days I need something to entertain myself. I mean I'll have a lot of make up work, but this song needs to be finished.

Vic: "of course."

It wouldn't be a another hour until Vic stopped by. Until he got off school, changed, stopped by my house, and get here it will be five o'clock. The thought of not going to school for the rest of the week, and being here instead made me want to throw up, but I did this to myself so I'll have to take the punishment.

I wonder what the kids at school are going to thinking? I wonder if they know what had happened? "Ew that Kellin kid tried to kill himself." "Do you see him? Its the suicide kid." the thoughts made me cringe. I rolled over, and watched the screen on the monitor draw wiggly lines all over the place.

They made me think of playing the guitar. Song lyrics kept popping into my head. "we've left our hearts opened. We've kept pushing and trying, but for what? For heart ach. Your the worst, but the best. Your my rock, and the heart that beats inside my chest. I don't want to fight this anymore.
I just want to tell you you're everything to me. If I look into your eyes and count the stars that shine you'll see just how much you mean to me. Can we hold onto forever, because I can't walk away without saying I love you."

Its a little rocky, but it will be better once I throw it in there somewhere.

There was a silent knock on my door.

I sat up slowly, "come in"

Vic walked slowly in with my guitar, and a card in his hand.

I watched as he handed me the stuff, and pulled the chair from the corner of the room near my bed. "thanks Vic. For everything."

Opening the card I could see a slip of folded up paper. It was a note. "can I read this?"

"of course. Read it out loud if you want to." Vic said resting his head on his hand.

"Dear Kellin:

Let me start by saying your the best friend I could ever ask for. Your beautiful. Honestly inside, and out. You've been through so much, and your strong. I couldn't picture living life without you. Why would you do this to yourself? To me? To your mom? Your friends? And the people who love you the most? Kellin I've been able to tell you everything. From the worst stuff to the best stuff. You've been my rock. Can you please stay, and stay with me, and for me. Because I need you. I need you to stay by my side forever. Please don't ever scare me like that again. You remember in middle school when we first met, and you didn't want to be my friend, because everyone liked me, and you thought I would never be friends with a kid that had emo hair, and wore skinny jeans so tight that his nut sack looked like it was going to pop out of the zipper? What you didn't know was I was you best friend from the start before we even said hello. I knew I could put my life in your hands, and you'd protect it. Because I like the way your legs filled those skinny jeans, and the way your black hair covered your eye and hung above your shoulders with there little waves at the bottom, I love you sea blue eyes, and how they get lost in the words people say. I love the sound of your voice when your singing, and how you let the music take over your heart. What I'm trying to say is I love you, and this is me, and you until the end. Get better please? Cause I miss you, and its only been a day.

Forever Vic."

My eyes jumped from the end of the letter and swung to Vic's face. "is all of this true?"

"Y.. Yeah." I could hear the lump in his voice from trying to hold back the tears.

Pulling my guitar over my lamp I cleared my voice, and started to sing.

"Friends forever that's what you said. Keep this going until the end.

We can make it through anything, and eveything if you'd let your heart come on a friendship ride."

Suddenly Vic picked up the lyrics i had on a piece of paper I had in my lap and started reading the next verse.

"Come on don't be shy. Baby I swear we will get by. You've showed me your fears, your mistakes, and tears.

Don't ever hurt yourself again. That blade is shape, and I know it hurts, but that blood will just make it worse. You & me will come to understand. If I look into your eyes, and count the stars that shine you'll see just how much you mean to me. Can we hold onto forever. Because I can't walk away without saying I love you."

His voice was so beautiful, and pure. It filled my heart with joy, and left goose bumps racing up my arms.

"its beautiful Kellin. Who did you write it for?" Vic sternly asked while trying to clear his voice.

I flinched. I was debating on telling him "Nobody particular I just wrote it."

His eyes widened. "You should sing it at the upcoming back to school talent show. If its finished in time."

My cheeks started to get hot, and I could tell they were beat red "ar.. Are you sure?"

"of course Kellin. I'd never give you advice if it didn't mean anything" he sounded so serious.

My head was having thoughts of its own "Kellin you PUSSY tell him you love him."

"No this isn't the right time. Or is it? I mean he wrote this letter and he sang my song with me."

"Well I brought you all the homework, and notes you missed out on. Jack got it all for you." Vic's voice chimed in and interrupted the argument with my head. "I have to go tho. Hey did you want me to sign you up for soccer? Oli, and Alan are joining this year too."

"Tell Jack i said thank you very much, and sure. The soccer team won't be the same without me." i giggled a little.

Vic leaned over the bed and hugged me, but some how our lips connected. We were kissing, and i liked it. His lips were so soft, and i didn't want to stop this.

He pulled away, and walked out the door without saying anything, but i could tell he liked it by those little blush spots in his cheeks.

Will he come back tomorrow? Cause that kiss was amazing, and I'll be dreaming of it all night. I didn't want to text him first after he left tho. I didn't want to seem pushy or weird. I'll let it go. He'll text me when he's ready. I layer there still in shock. It was perfect. It was like all the dreams I've ever had of this actually happening. Those lips were pure beauty pushed up against mine.

Now the confusion kicks in...