Paper-Thin Apartment Walls

Screams, arguing, loud bangs.
These noises happen next door.
A girl is crying. My neighbor.
Here I lean on the other side of this thin wall, listening unintentionally.
Paying attention to every sniffle,
Every helpless wail,
Every hopeless whimper.

Her parents were always yelling.
Always insulting her.
Saying she's wrong.
Blaming her for their troubles.
I hear such depressed and dreaded words, leaving her lips with a sigh.

"I'm done.", she says.

"I can't take it anymore."

Then I hear the embodiment of death.
The click-clack of a gun.
One bang and a cry of pain.
Then a second bang followed by silence.

Such a noise seemed too familiar.
The gunshots and the silence.
Soon after, I hear a door creak, followed by the sobs of two adults.
Then the "sorry's" and "goodbyes".
But what I'll never know is, was it all worth it in the end?
Taking your own life...

The noise of the ambulance comes next.
Rushing footsteps hurrying to the scene.
She was dead. That was a fact.
I still wonder. Did she want to die so badly?
I heard two gunshots. What was she going through?
Was it it something so horrible that she had to shoot herself twice?
I almost wanted to cry, but then I thought one more question.
What if she deserved it?