A Ninja and an Assassin Walk Into a Bar

“This was nice. We should do this more often.”
“Goodnight Dipper. Sweet dreams.”
Dipper turns from washing the tea cups to whish me a peaceful sleep as well. But honestly I doubt I’ll be getting much sleep. So much has happened today and there is so much to talk about. That moment Dipper and I shared in my room…we’re just two beat up souls with no one but each other left in the world. What does this mean?
I slide into my bed but I don’t bother pulling the sheets over me. It’s too warm for that. Maybe it’s all that hot tea I just had. We sat talking for a while over tea. Talking about life, what plans we had for the future before this chaos descended upon us. It was nice, talking to Dipper rather than yelling at him. I don’t know why but I always just had this urge to give him a hard time, even when he didn’t deserve it. Back when my father was still alive and things were going well, I still gave him a hard time. I don’t know why, I just felt like it.

Months Ago
“Let’s do it again.”
The dojo was smack dap in between my room and the outer gate. So naturally when I’d come home from clubbing I would pass the dojo on my way to my room. As I passed, I heard Dipper speaking to my father’s men who were helping him train. However he sounded different. Naturally it would be expected of someone who spends hours training to sound tired and weary at the end of it. He was at it in the dojo since I left after all. However, he sounded more than tired. He sounded…worse.
My curiosity got the better of me and I poked my head in to see how he was doing. And I’m glad I did. He was beat. Every which way a man could be beat, and doubtless some other ways I was not yet familiar with. He was barely standing under his own fading strength. Sweat had completely soaked his clothes, turning them a shade darker than I remember seeing them. Blood was freely flowing from his mouth. Parts of his arm and face were bruised a darkish blue color. Undoubtedly parts of his body covered by his shirt and pants were of similar hue.
“Come on, what are you guys waiting for? Get ready, we’re going to do this again.”
My father’s men were visibly uncomfortable. Antares, one of my father’s most loyal servants spoke up, hesitation ringing clear in his voice. “Sir, I don’t think that is such a good idea.”
“Why? Are your hands numb from smacking into my body so many times?”
There was an uneasy silence in the room. I had never seen Dipper speak with so much…fire. It was breathtaking. Was he only a bumbling oaf when I was around? I think I’d like to get to know this side of Dipper.
“No, I didn’t think so.” Dipper continued with rage sprinkling his words. “You guys are freaking ninja. You don’t feel anything.” Not true. Just saying. “And I know you don’t give two flipping swan’s feathers about my personal wellbeing.” Okay that may be true. Who says that though? Two flipping swan’s feathers? Did he hear that in a Kung Fu movie once and thought that’s how al ninja express things? So weird. “So shut up and run it again. You will hit me till I can’t get up any more and then you will do it one more time for good measure. Understand?”
My father’s men were under orders to instruct him, but my father made it very clear he was not to be severely injured. He was under my father’s protection after all. How would that look if the man he was claiming to protect was greatly wounded by his own men? Sometimes it seems to me like my father is the only one that cares about Dipper’s wellbeing, and I’m including Dipper when I say the only one.
“Stop!” Holy crap did I say that? When did I even get in the room? Judging by everyone’s look on their face they’re wondering the same thing.
“Excuse me?”
Oh this is rich! Dipper is trying to cop an attitude with me. Well I can dance this dance better than anyone lightweight. “Stop it. You’re killing yourself.” What the heck?! I’m actually sounding like I care about this guy.
“I’m fine. Not that it’s any of your concern. So just stroll on by and let me get back to work.”
Jerk face! “Why are you doing this?!” I get right in his face and press my index finger into his chest. I hope I hit a bruise. His shirt is really wet. I wonder if it soaked up some blood along with sweat. And his left eye seems to be a little swollen. I didn’t notice it before, because I was standing at a distance, but he looks like crap. Much worse than I thought he did initially. Ouch that sounds cruel but given the context I think I get a pass. Honestly, I’m impressed he’s still standing and speaking with such strength.
“Because I can’t just stay here free loading on you guys forever! I’m tired of running for my life! I’m tired of hiding! I’m tired of constantly being judged by you and getting death stares from every boy toy you prance through here. So as soon as I can get through this training, I’ll be out of here and you can have your precious little life back.”
My what? Oh no, did he hear what I told father? He must know that I didn’t mean it. That I was frustrated and a little tipsy. I didn’t mean what I said. I hardly ever do. Truth be told I never thought about it before. That fact that he wouldn’t always be here. The fact that one day he’d be gone.
And the realization hit me like a Bruce Lee punch to the chest. And right then and there I wanted to reach out and grab him and tell him no to go. To stay here…with me. But I didn’t. I spun around and darted out of there because I didn’t want him to see the tears swelling in my eyes.
In the time it took me to leave I could hear him let out one long, heavy sigh and say dejectedly “Just hit me, please.”

Father found me later swinging on the bench in my garden. You know it’s possible my father may have spoiled me a bit too much. I was staring off into space, at nothing really, maybe the moon. I was just trying not to think about Dipper leaving. I hated to admit but I liked having him around. I liked him. And what was going to become of him if he left. He was only protected from the Trust if he was within my father’s confines. If he left the compound no doubt they would eventually catch up with him and kill him!
I was doing a lousy job of not thinking about him. Which is why my father’s company was a welcome distraction.
“Counting the stars my little flower?”
“No Chichi. Just…I don’t know.”
“When you were little you would never go to sleep. You would take your mother and me out here and count out loud to us all the stars you could see.” Father was smiling but there was a hint of sadness to it all. There was always a hint of sadness when he spoke about mother. Bitter sweet memories he would call them.
“There’s just too many out to count.”
“That never used to stop you before. Nothing ever used to discourage you. Yet now I detect some sadness and fear on your petals of qi. What is it that bothers you so little flower?”
“It’s nothing. I’m just tired.”
“You never used to get tired before either. So much has changed since Dipper came to live with us, huh?” Remember when I said my father’s company was a welcome distraction? Yeah, well I take it back. I hate when he does that ninja sensing trick thing. I think I’d hate ninja’s if I weren’t one myself.
Anyways I have no idea what to say. So I just look over at him and he’s smiling. He’s actually cracking a smile. And staring up at the moon as if he pretends he doesn’t know I know he’s smiling at his sly remark. Yeah that’s right, I’m on to you!
“I heard you two exchanging words in the dojo after you came back from town.” And why does he always call it town? I was at the club! You know this, wise old man you.
And then he places his hand on mine and all my anger flushes away. For a man whose broken bones and so much more with his hands, they are surprisingly soft. “You must not be so hard on the young man. He is going through so much. His world is crumbling around him. One time friends are now enemies and he has found himself a refugee, a man at our mercy. He’s a stranger to our land and our customs and it’s frustrating to him. He’s emotionally sick. For his home and his family. How would you feel, my pretty flower, if you were separated continents away from me?”
It never donned on me before that Dipper would have a family. I don’t know why. It’s not like every assassin is an orphan with no blood ties at all. Does he have a wife waiting for him somewhere? He doesn’t wear a ring, but then again, it wouldn’t make much sense to wear a wedding ring when you’re on assignment to off someone.
“Does…does his family miss him?”
“All he has is a brother, and all his brother has is him. You will be hard pressed to find a bond stronger than the one that has developed between him and his brother. His heart pines for him every moment he spends here.”
My father can see the concern on my face as I listen to him. He allows himself a small smile because he can see he’s going to get his point through to me. “So please try to make this easier on him. I brought him under my wing to protect him, not to torture him with you.”
“Yes Chichi I will treat him better.” Having accomplished his goal, he starts back towards the house. “Chichi?”
“Yes musume?”
“How do you know Digger? What made you want to protect him?”
He smiles as he thinks about his answer. I expect something impressive, heroic, maybe even sweet. Instead he says “He tried to kill me once.”