Status: An Ongoing Humorous Story About An Assassin, A Ninja, and Love
A Ninja and an Assassin Walk Into a Bar
Chapter 5: This Is Where We Begin Again
“Sweet dreams.”
Now there’s something I haven’t heard in a while. I was starting to forget such things even existed. But not tonight. Tonight I very well think I’ll dream sweet dreams. Most likely I’ll dream of her. Tonight I saw a side of Snapdragon I thought was gone forever. She was talkative, witty, and even a bit playful. It reminded me of the first time ever met. Maybe that’s what tonight was. It was for me to meet her again for the first time. Hopefully I’ll make things work this time.
18 Months Ago
Master Kiwi Midnight had a nice place but I just didn’t see myself staying there any longer than I had to. Ninja creep me out. My thoughts were bouncing off his walls. I had got a lot on my mind, like when was I going to get my life back, when would I see my brother again, how would I get my stuff out of my hotel room and would I still have to pay for the nights I didn’t use. One of the last things on my mind is eating though. Given the downward spiral my life was taking, I didn’t have much of an appetite. But Master Kiwi wasn’t taking no for an answer. And I’m glad he didn’t.
He mentioned to me that he made sure his daughter didn’t go out to town tonight so that she could have dinner with us that night. She was quietly sitting down, not talking, just observing. I wasn’t sure whether she was shy or annoyed. I was hoping she was just shy. She looked at me and our eyes locked for an eternity condensed into four seconds. Then she grimaced at me and turned away. So yeah, I guess shy wasn’t the best adjective to describe her.
She has green, no chartreuse eyes, with wedges that appear to be light yellow in the iris. It’s a condition of sectoral heterochromia. (I had looked it up after dinner that night). Perhaps condition isn’t the right word for it though. After all she isn’t diseased or anything, I hope. She’s just blessed with the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. And they were placed on a perfect face. Devoid of any blemishes of any kind. Her skin was clear and smooth to the touch, the way a beach’s sand front looks from a distance. And her hair…it was black curly waves of sea splashing against the beach that was her face.
It was impossible not to admire her. I was staring. And Old Man Kiwi Midnight noticed. And then things were uncomfortable. What should I have done? Should I have admitted that I was totally checking out his DDG daughter? (Drop dead gorgeous for those of you who don’t have a clue). Or should I have just played it off like nothing happened? Exactly how perceptive are ninja? I’ve heard mixed reports.
“So Miss…” I had no idea where I was going with that. I just talked myself into a conversation corner. I actually didn’t know Kiwi Midnight’s last name, assuming it wasn’t Midnight because well, I’m pretty sure Midnight was part of his first name. Like girls named Ann-Marie or basketball players named Metta World Peace. No wait, I think his last name is two names, World Peace. Hold on, where was I going with this again? Oh yeah, “…Kiwi Midnight’s daughter.” Darn my face, I should have gone with Miss Midnight.
She glared at me. So at least I had her attention. “Are you a ninja too?”
She stares at me for a second or two before a mischievous smile appears on her face. “Yes Mr. …”
“Dipper.” Oh darn, that’s what I should have done.
“My lovely father is training me to one day follow in his most honorable footsteps.”
Kiwi Midnight was looking at me and shaking his head. Not sure why though. I was just trying to make conversation with his daughter and get to know her better. “Cool. You sound really passionate about this stuff. So how far along are you in your training? Are you like a black belt yet or something?”
“Ah Baka, the food has arrived. Why don’t you curtail your questions till later?”
A hot bowl of rice and another bowl of some chicken was placed in front of me along with a pair of chop sticks. Now I know why ninja are so thin. There is very little one can pick up and put in their mouth with chop sticks.
“Baka? I thought you said your name was Dipper. I didn’t know you have a Japanese name.” Kiwi Midnight’s daughter said with such fascination.
“Your father gave it to me. You may call me Baka as well if you wish.”
“Oh believe me, I will.” She said with a smile that took the breath right out of me.
Feeling pretty smug with myself, I set to the impossible task of trying to actually eat something with the chopsticks I was given. Half way through of not getting anything into my mouth, I was starting to wonder if Master Kiwi Midnight had invited me as a form of punishment. After some chicken jumped off my chopsticks (I swear to you the thing just jumped off my chopsticks, unprovoked and everything) Master Midnight cleared his throat and glared at me.
“I don’t suppose you guys own a fork, do you?”
Master Midnight rolled his eyes at me. “If you want to eat that bad, you’ll learn fast how to eat using chopsticks.”
“Well that’s just the thing, I didn’t want to eat tonight. I would have been just as happy staying in my room tonight trying to sort out what’s left of my life.” I turned to Kiwi Midnight’s daughter because if looks could kill Kiwi Midnight’s glare would have put me down for the count for good. “Honestly Miss…” darn my face I really have to stop doing that. “…you. I’m really sorry he stopped you from going out into the town tonight. I really did not want to do this dinner thing tonight. I don’t know how much your father has told you, but I’ve had a very long day.”
She elegantly rose out of her seat and seductively made her way over to my seat. Master Kiwi Midnight swiftly and all ninja like closed my mouth as I continued to stare. “I’m so sorry to hear about your troubles. The least I can do is teach you how to use your chopsticks.”
She brushed against me as she leaned over to take my eating hand. Gently she finagled my fingers to grip the chopsticks properly. Her cheek was almost pressed against mine as she guided me in picking up some rice with my chopsticks. Her scent was so intoxicating I didn’t even focus on the food. Her soft hair kissed my neck as she leaned in closer. She smiled as the food makes it successfully to my mouth for the first time that evening.
“Shall we go for seconds?” She asked enticingly.
Before I could answer Master Kiwi Midnight stood up and clapped his hands which made his servants appear. “You know what, you are right Mr. Dipper, this whole thing was completely insensitive towards you and your recent ordeals.”
“Oh it’s okay I…” I began but never got the chance to finish.
“Dinner is over Mr. Dipper. You are excused from the table.”
Master Kiwi Midnight’s daughter did a sad puppy pouting face thing at me and then walked back towards her seat. Unfortunately I was in no shape to get up as of yet.
“Yeah…Actually I think I’m just going to sit here for a little bit.” The servants come and remove the bowls of food from in front of me. “Yeah I’m just going to sit here and admire your lovely table cloth. Yeah, that’s what I’m going to do…”
I look at Master Midnight’s daughter, which I probably shouldn’t have done if I wanted to get up from the table sometime that night. She had a smug smirk on her face by then. “Well this has been fun. I’m going into town now father. You’ll probably be asleep when I get back. So goodnight.”
“Snapdragon.” Master Midnight sternly said. “Aren’t you going to say goodnight to our guest?”
Snapdragon? That name sounded familiar. My eyes enlarged and my jaw dropped as it clicked in my head. I turned towards my seductress in time to see the mischievous satisfaction on her face. She was the same mean ninja from before. That was Kiwi’s daughter. Did Kiwi realize that?! Oh wait… Man I hate ninja!
“Goodnight Baka.” She said to me with a wink before turning on her heels to walk away.
I was left shaking my head, upset for being played tonight. But I wasn’t too upset because I still was unable to get up from my seat. She turned her head to look back at me one last time. And that was when it came to me. I knew exactly how I was going to get back at her. I was going to get her to fall in love with me. And years from now, when we are happily married, we’ll look back on how she first treated me and we’ll laugh at it.
18 Month Later
The plan hasn’t changed. I’m still going to get her to fall in love with me. And we’re going to get married and we’ll be happy again. She just doesn’t know it yet. I almost feel sorry for the unsuspecting gal. But then I remember she’s a ninja and I don’t feel so sorry anymore. She’s got it coming.
“Goodnight Snapdragon.”
Now there’s something I haven’t heard in a while. I was starting to forget such things even existed. But not tonight. Tonight I very well think I’ll dream sweet dreams. Most likely I’ll dream of her. Tonight I saw a side of Snapdragon I thought was gone forever. She was talkative, witty, and even a bit playful. It reminded me of the first time ever met. Maybe that’s what tonight was. It was for me to meet her again for the first time. Hopefully I’ll make things work this time.
18 Months Ago
Master Kiwi Midnight had a nice place but I just didn’t see myself staying there any longer than I had to. Ninja creep me out. My thoughts were bouncing off his walls. I had got a lot on my mind, like when was I going to get my life back, when would I see my brother again, how would I get my stuff out of my hotel room and would I still have to pay for the nights I didn’t use. One of the last things on my mind is eating though. Given the downward spiral my life was taking, I didn’t have much of an appetite. But Master Kiwi wasn’t taking no for an answer. And I’m glad he didn’t.
He mentioned to me that he made sure his daughter didn’t go out to town tonight so that she could have dinner with us that night. She was quietly sitting down, not talking, just observing. I wasn’t sure whether she was shy or annoyed. I was hoping she was just shy. She looked at me and our eyes locked for an eternity condensed into four seconds. Then she grimaced at me and turned away. So yeah, I guess shy wasn’t the best adjective to describe her.
She has green, no chartreuse eyes, with wedges that appear to be light yellow in the iris. It’s a condition of sectoral heterochromia. (I had looked it up after dinner that night). Perhaps condition isn’t the right word for it though. After all she isn’t diseased or anything, I hope. She’s just blessed with the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. And they were placed on a perfect face. Devoid of any blemishes of any kind. Her skin was clear and smooth to the touch, the way a beach’s sand front looks from a distance. And her hair…it was black curly waves of sea splashing against the beach that was her face.
It was impossible not to admire her. I was staring. And Old Man Kiwi Midnight noticed. And then things were uncomfortable. What should I have done? Should I have admitted that I was totally checking out his DDG daughter? (Drop dead gorgeous for those of you who don’t have a clue). Or should I have just played it off like nothing happened? Exactly how perceptive are ninja? I’ve heard mixed reports.
“So Miss…” I had no idea where I was going with that. I just talked myself into a conversation corner. I actually didn’t know Kiwi Midnight’s last name, assuming it wasn’t Midnight because well, I’m pretty sure Midnight was part of his first name. Like girls named Ann-Marie or basketball players named Metta World Peace. No wait, I think his last name is two names, World Peace. Hold on, where was I going with this again? Oh yeah, “…Kiwi Midnight’s daughter.” Darn my face, I should have gone with Miss Midnight.
She glared at me. So at least I had her attention. “Are you a ninja too?”
She stares at me for a second or two before a mischievous smile appears on her face. “Yes Mr. …”
“Dipper.” Oh darn, that’s what I should have done.
“My lovely father is training me to one day follow in his most honorable footsteps.”
Kiwi Midnight was looking at me and shaking his head. Not sure why though. I was just trying to make conversation with his daughter and get to know her better. “Cool. You sound really passionate about this stuff. So how far along are you in your training? Are you like a black belt yet or something?”
“Ah Baka, the food has arrived. Why don’t you curtail your questions till later?”
A hot bowl of rice and another bowl of some chicken was placed in front of me along with a pair of chop sticks. Now I know why ninja are so thin. There is very little one can pick up and put in their mouth with chop sticks.
“Baka? I thought you said your name was Dipper. I didn’t know you have a Japanese name.” Kiwi Midnight’s daughter said with such fascination.
“Your father gave it to me. You may call me Baka as well if you wish.”
“Oh believe me, I will.” She said with a smile that took the breath right out of me.
Feeling pretty smug with myself, I set to the impossible task of trying to actually eat something with the chopsticks I was given. Half way through of not getting anything into my mouth, I was starting to wonder if Master Kiwi Midnight had invited me as a form of punishment. After some chicken jumped off my chopsticks (I swear to you the thing just jumped off my chopsticks, unprovoked and everything) Master Midnight cleared his throat and glared at me.
“I don’t suppose you guys own a fork, do you?”
Master Midnight rolled his eyes at me. “If you want to eat that bad, you’ll learn fast how to eat using chopsticks.”
“Well that’s just the thing, I didn’t want to eat tonight. I would have been just as happy staying in my room tonight trying to sort out what’s left of my life.” I turned to Kiwi Midnight’s daughter because if looks could kill Kiwi Midnight’s glare would have put me down for the count for good. “Honestly Miss…” darn my face I really have to stop doing that. “…you. I’m really sorry he stopped you from going out into the town tonight. I really did not want to do this dinner thing tonight. I don’t know how much your father has told you, but I’ve had a very long day.”
She elegantly rose out of her seat and seductively made her way over to my seat. Master Kiwi Midnight swiftly and all ninja like closed my mouth as I continued to stare. “I’m so sorry to hear about your troubles. The least I can do is teach you how to use your chopsticks.”
She brushed against me as she leaned over to take my eating hand. Gently she finagled my fingers to grip the chopsticks properly. Her cheek was almost pressed against mine as she guided me in picking up some rice with my chopsticks. Her scent was so intoxicating I didn’t even focus on the food. Her soft hair kissed my neck as she leaned in closer. She smiled as the food makes it successfully to my mouth for the first time that evening.
“Shall we go for seconds?” She asked enticingly.
Before I could answer Master Kiwi Midnight stood up and clapped his hands which made his servants appear. “You know what, you are right Mr. Dipper, this whole thing was completely insensitive towards you and your recent ordeals.”
“Oh it’s okay I…” I began but never got the chance to finish.
“Dinner is over Mr. Dipper. You are excused from the table.”
Master Kiwi Midnight’s daughter did a sad puppy pouting face thing at me and then walked back towards her seat. Unfortunately I was in no shape to get up as of yet.
“Yeah…Actually I think I’m just going to sit here for a little bit.” The servants come and remove the bowls of food from in front of me. “Yeah I’m just going to sit here and admire your lovely table cloth. Yeah, that’s what I’m going to do…”
I look at Master Midnight’s daughter, which I probably shouldn’t have done if I wanted to get up from the table sometime that night. She had a smug smirk on her face by then. “Well this has been fun. I’m going into town now father. You’ll probably be asleep when I get back. So goodnight.”
“Snapdragon.” Master Midnight sternly said. “Aren’t you going to say goodnight to our guest?”
Snapdragon? That name sounded familiar. My eyes enlarged and my jaw dropped as it clicked in my head. I turned towards my seductress in time to see the mischievous satisfaction on her face. She was the same mean ninja from before. That was Kiwi’s daughter. Did Kiwi realize that?! Oh wait… Man I hate ninja!
“Goodnight Baka.” She said to me with a wink before turning on her heels to walk away.
I was left shaking my head, upset for being played tonight. But I wasn’t too upset because I still was unable to get up from my seat. She turned her head to look back at me one last time. And that was when it came to me. I knew exactly how I was going to get back at her. I was going to get her to fall in love with me. And years from now, when we are happily married, we’ll look back on how she first treated me and we’ll laugh at it.
18 Month Later
The plan hasn’t changed. I’m still going to get her to fall in love with me. And we’re going to get married and we’ll be happy again. She just doesn’t know it yet. I almost feel sorry for the unsuspecting gal. But then I remember she’s a ninja and I don’t feel so sorry anymore. She’s got it coming.
“Goodnight Snapdragon.”