Underestimate Me

She did not hear him, yet his words found her mind nonetheless. No sound found her ears as she looked into the green eyes of the man beneath her. His painful sounds bore into her as lightning through her skull. She could not let him suffer. He had been the only one. He had been the only one to try to stop the tragedy that unfolded now. Her boot pressed the arrow further through his heart and his body went limb below her feet while she stepped over him.

Don’t show them. Stay strong.

Her face was calm but it was the silence before the storm. She yelled something to Rowen, but she did not know what. His angry jabs of words punched her skin, but her mind would be tortured later. Her mind would be pained after her body accepted what just happened. She had killed him. She had killed him!

Josselyn dared not to look back. She dared not to look at the man on the ground. So, she did what she was left to do. She let it all in.

“You were not there when Rebecca cried herself to sleep every night after the guards barged into her home and announced the death of her sister.” The words flew around her head, torturing her by bouncing off the walls of her skull. She had not been there. He was right. He was more right than he probably knew himself. She was dead. Josselyn truly died that day she jumped off the cliff. If she would have returned for her little sister, they would have killed Rebecca too.

“Run away like you always do,” His words did not stop her from entering her tent. She did run. She ran because without Maa she felt like an empty shell. Without her bloodlust, she was just tired and still broken. The moment she stepped into the tent, her shoulder started bothering her. Outside Maa had stricken a pose. She had held Josselyn up by an invisible string, pulling her back and her chin up. She had pulled the strings and dropped them the moment she was out of sight. Her shoulder was bothering her, redness coming up around the little holes Falcon had left.

The sound of the tent’s cloth falling made her twist her head and sit down on a chair as soon as she saw the sister that entered. Meredith. She slouched down in the wooden rocker beneath her. She had no strength to stand. Not now.

“I told them to burn the spy. Give him back to his God. The flames will return him to his ancestors.” Her words were strictly business. “I presume you want to move at dawn?” Her second in command was icy, although the curtains were closed. Meredith walked over, her sleek golden hair bouncing in the gleam of candles.

Darkness had fallen and it was smothering Josselyn whole. Maybe she was demonic. Maybe the knight had been right. Had she lured Rowen in her web? Had she? Was her animal drift the reason of his breathing? Or had she truly kept him alive for her sisters' sake? Was she a monster?

“I want... We need to move now.” Josselyn whispered, supporting her head in one hand and massaging the opposite temple with her other.

“Moving in this darkness is madness.” Meredith said. Her words filled with worry, and a tinge of anger. She was defrosting and Josselyn steadied herself for the storm. “Your actions have been madness since we walked into that man and his foolish soldiers.” Her voice strengthened and started bearing more anger. Meredith’s worry was now surrounding her and grabbing her by the throat. It was tensing its grasp and slowly pushing the air out of her.

“That man I killed,” Josselyn was now reinforcing her voice too. “That man will be missed! And we will be found! Before sunrise, mark my words!” She flung her hand out, pointing in the direction of where the man’s body had dropped on the ground. That man. That glorious man. He will be missed. The whole inside of me tells me so already.

“Where were you?” Meredith’s voice suddenly so small and soft. It took her by surprise as her sister crouched down next to the chair. Josselyn had not noticed how firmly she had grabbed ahold of the armchair. Not until Meredith laid her soft but calloused hand upon it and made her fingers stop pressing into the wood. Her cooling touch was just what she needed to get her mind straight again. She felt as if the arrow that pierced through the dark haired man had gone through her judgement. Rowen’s words had pushed the arrow deeper. Like she had stopped him from slowly dying, Rowen had tried to put an end to her intuition.

“Preparing to send an arrow through Hadrian’s skull,” she whispered. She dared not look Meredith in the eye, for she did not want to see the concerned and disapproving look in it. She felt as Meredith’s hand tightened around hers,

“You narrow-minded woman,” Meredith spat. The wetness even reached Josselyn as she looked up with surprise. “What do you think would happen to us if you died? You could have gotten us killed! Or worse; yourself!” Meredith did not want to scream but it seemed that it took all her strength to keep her voice low and quiet.

“I...” but Josselyn did not speak. There was no way to apologize for leaving her second in command with such worries and responsibility.

“I know.” Meredith said, looking at her crouched feet. “We will move. Soon. This night. Although not before you do what you must.” She added.

Josselyn looked up, questions filling her eyes. She’d forgotten about her shoulder, and the wound on her hip was not giving her any trouble anymore. A switch had been turned again. Meredith had given her the strength to stand up and be the leader she needed to be. It was as though that touch had drained Meredith from her stamina and given it to Josselyn.

“What is that you talk about, sister,” Josselyn whispered.

“We will not hide in this tent; we will not do his words any justice. You must go out again, raise your head and be the leader, be the family, those women deserve.” Josselyn pulled herself up from the chair, feeling as her hand left Meredith’s. Her sister helped her up though, supporting her injured hip with her left hand, gently pushing her. Now that she was standing, it was resting on the small of her back, giving just the encouragement she needed. The candle lighting the tent left a glow in the eyes of her sister, sparkles that undoubtedly showed her pride. Her subtle and delicate face seemed to be like silk, the pores breathing a gentle flowery scent. Josselyn nodded.

As she stepped outside, multiple heads moved her way. Faces full of anticipation, some with worry, some even with fear. She planted her heels in the dry ground, trying to find some footing. As she looked upon each face, she swiftly moved her eyes over the pole that bound Rowen. It was not enough to observe him as the glance had lasted less than a second.

“Sisters, our guest was right,” She started. Her voice boomed through the clearing and there was no hesitation in it. Her old self was pushed aside and before them stood a leader who was backed by a Goddess. Maa’s power made her overcome the empty green eyes that stared at her from beyond the dead. Several sisters looked at each other, baffled by her words. “You are nothing like my real family. You never will be, for I will protect you. I cannot protect my little sister, and I have no desire to protect my father. However, I can protect you. We ride at midnight, get everything ready!” Smiles appeared on the faces of her sisters and she knew she had spoken honest and truthful. She had not made glamour of their situation, but she had beckoned hope inside of the hearts of her family.

In the corner of her eyes she saw as some of her rebels were piling up wood, making a pyre for the poor spy she had been forced to kill. He was turned on his back but still lay on the spot, where he had dropped. Josselyn knew Rowen’s gaze was fixed upon his brother, on his dear friend. She knew in her heart that he did care. His demonic tendencies did not stretch to his own sex, as it hadn’t with his father and his men. The death of this man was tragic, but it was not more grievous than the deaths of her sisters. She kept telling herself the man was her past; he was not her friend anymore. He was the enemy however many times she had smiled at him. They both fought for their own. She was a beast. She needed to be one. For her sisters sake. For her family’s sake.

Despite the animal like power rushing through her, this man had indeed never hurt her, or her family. All he had ever done was protect her really. He deserved a proper death and she hoped he could find the peace she was fighting for. She hoped he could find the peace she had not yet discovered.

A few steps brought her next to his body. His eyes were vacantly staring into the sky. As she observed the green in them, and saw the way his dark shoulder length hair surrounded his head like a halo, she felt his eyes upon her. Rowen was watching her, his gaze piercing into her back. She crouched down and as she reached for the man, she heard a scream behind her.

“Don’t you touch him!” Josselyn ignored her prisoner, as did she ignore the threat she had made earlier. Gagging him would do no good, for the muffled screams would spark her curiosity for his foul words.

She outstretched her arm further and gently pushed his eyelids down. She closed his eyes and crossed his arms on his chest. She remembered those strong lean arms. She remembered but she did not let herself dwell. That was another life. I’ve been reborn. They all sold me out. He warned me this would happen. He did.

In his hands she laid his hunting knife; the only weapon he had worn. Outstretching her legs again, pierced her hip with pain. She now removed her own knife and grabbed her dark hair. The blade cut through an inch of her locks and the loose hairs swirled down, slowly reaching the ground.

Maa would take care of him, for she was cruel but she left innocence alone. A tear dropped beside her hair on the fertile grounds.

Goodbye Kolby, I dearly wished I had recognized you sooner.