Underestimate Me

Rowen looked into the depths of those bright pools of blue for a short moment, at least it seemed short to him. She captivated his soul enough to make him long to stand there in her judgment for eternity. Confusion colored her bright cheeks and creased her sweat riddled brow before the retched blonde harlot spoke. Her words had stolen those refreshing cool blue pools from him, and all the strength that he mustered only minutes ago vanished.

Rowen never thought just one look could hold him steady on his feet while the world was spinning out of control, but Josselyn’s gaze made the world seem right. He couldn’t pull his eyes from her, even if her eyes could not bear the sight of him.

The eldest son of Elrik forced his eyes to turn toward Will’s body. William, poor Will, to die by his own leader’s son’s hands. It must have been a horrific way to die. Knowing that someone you trust with your life, someone you’ve come to rescue, can murder you in cold blood. His reasoning made the sin so much worse in his already guilty conscious. He had killed his man for a woman hell bent on destroying him one way or another as soon as she discovered a way to do so without harming her own family. Rowen suddenly felt sick to his stomach, but he could not keep his eyes from swaying back to Josselyn.

Her lip curled back as she pushed past Meredith; her eyes landed on him once again. His heart filled with an emotion close to joy, but pain ebbed over the sensation. She took two long strides to get to him, taking a strong stance inches from his aching body. Rowen gulped as she grabbed his tunic. She wrapped her fingers through similar fabric once, though he was positive her fingers did not mean to repeat their past. There was not a second hesitation in her eyes, only boiling water that made his own blood bubble.

She shoved him back against the sharp bark of a tree, pain shot through his right arm while he forced his features to stay neutral. As she shoved, he breathed her in. She still smelled of rain even through her exertions. Her fingers coiled tighter in his tunic, pushing the fabric hard against his scalding skin. Shock filled him before the pain echoed through his shoulders and down his spine.

“What was that?!” Her spittle covered a portion of his chin and neck. He wanted to answer her. She needed to hear his explanation, but he hadn’t fully grasped the right words for her. How could Rowen tell her as he watched Bailey’s hands along her throat he felt the air being pulled from his lungs? Would she understand if he spewed on and on about the blood boiling in his veins as Will promised her death? Promised her head on a pike for the cruel man who told his son that the woman he loved was eaten by wolves!

No… Josselyn wouldn’t understand. She never understood before. When she died by his father’s words a piece of his soul went with her. He stayed silent and watched as she fumed.

She shoved him harder into the tree trunk before she released his shirt and turned to her sisters, asking each if they were injured. The way she turned Emma’s face in her hands, checked Evelyn’s arm, seemed to bring back the old Josselyn. She was the woman he fell in love with for a quick moment and then she was Meredith’s again. Josselyn embraced the strong blonde with such passion that it knocked the breath from Rowen’s chest. He tried to stand straight as he attempted to fill his lungs, but he couldn’t. Evelyn aimed her arrow at his heart, but he barely noticed it as he watched her leader whisper to the fierce swordswoman.

Rowen tried to pry his eyes from Josselyn. Knowing she would not meet his gaze again drove him to desperate measures. Each touch that passed between Josselyn and Meredith sent another dagger through his worn heart. Evelyn took his chain in her hand. “Come,” she stated.

Josselyn grabbed the chain from her loose grip and snatched it until Rowen stumbled from the tree she’d pushed him against. Winding the chain around her hand until he was nearly nose to nose with her, she glared into his eyes. Her anger hit his core as he watched the warmth of those beautiful blue eyes dissipate into ice crystals. Something swelled in the pit of his stomach.

“You do not save me. You sold me to death once, you would do it again given the chance.”

Rowen could not stay silent any longer. “I never sold you to any such thing. The last thing I remember…” He forced his lips closed before he glanced back to Will’s blue face before his eyes found hers again. He tried to pull his face back from hers for a moment, but he couldn’t muster the strength or the will to move away from the scent of rain mixed with her sweat. Was it her power over him, or was it his own unwillingness?

“Think what you like Josselyn, for you always do,” he whispered. She pushed him away from her before she walked ahead to be with Meredith. Maybe the swordswoman deserved Josselyn more than Rowen did; he was always determined to let her be while Meredith made Josselyn see things through her eyes.

Evenly took up the chain again, this time holding it tighter. He held his wrists out to Emma. The innocent little girl’s hazel eyes pleaded with Evelyn. For the first time since Rowen had been with these women he saw Evelyn make a decision about him herself. “Leave his hands free. We may need to borrow them again.” Evelyn’s soft eyes met his tired gaze and nodded. He could see appreciation and a little fear in her usual happy countenance. Had he caused Evelyn’s fear?

“We must find better ground to rest upon. This is too open.” Meredith’s voice rang true through the air.

Rowen wanted to walk. He felt the need to move his legs, but he knew he would slow them down if his legs carried him at all. Evelyn pulled him toward the donkey until he was close enough for her to push atop the animal, into its saddle. They rushed across the open range until they were buried in the darkness on the opposite side.

Rowen’s skin turned to ice before Emma could light a decent fire. Meredith took over, showing the girl how to rub the flint to create a spark against the brush they collected along the way. Josselyn shot small glances at him, though his mind may have exaggerated a few of those. In Rowen’s mind, Elrik stood next to his eldest son as Evelyn peeled him from the saddle and propped him up against a mossy tree trunk.

“Look how he shivers,” Emma whispered. Her whisper sounded more like a thousand screams echoing through the blood in Rowen’s veins. It felt thick and heavy.

“It’s not polite to stare, Child!” Evelyn scolded. Rowen noticed her watchful eyes on the sweat that trickled down his forehead while his knees clattered together.

“Look at you!” Elrik’s voice was deep and seeped with the desire for blood. “You are pathetic! They call you a hero because of me! You could not even complete your first real mission.”

Rowen turned his head away from Evelyn toward the vision of his father. His breath caught in his throat as he watched his father’s sneer turn more and more gruesome. Blood stained Elrik’s teeth while his eyes somehow grew blacker.

“End the rebels. Save your people.” Elrik let out a cruel laugh. “You can barely stand, and these rebels are taking care of you because they want you healthy when the true torture begins. What have you done to save yourself?” Elrik leaned close to his son. The metallic smell of blood hit Rowen, churning his stomach, while the sight of blood brought bile to his mouth. “You killed your friend for these evil she-devils!”

“He…” Rowen tried to muster the energy to sit without the tree, but he needed the support. “He was not my friend!”

“You grew up with William. He was your peer, your friend!” Elrik stood straight again.

“You lied to me!” Rowen glared into the distance of his father’s eyes. “You sent me to cover your tracks! Stop blaming me!” He yelled at the man standing beside him before the vision dissipated. Rowen blinked rapidly, trying to bring his father’s vision back. He knew he wasn’t falling into insanity.

“Rowen?” Emma drew his attention back to her. “Who are you talking to?”

Rowen leaned his head back against his tree. Closing his eyes so the tears that stung them would not have the chance to fall. Will was not his friend, never a friend. Bryce had been a good man from what Rowen remembered of him, but John’s boys were not the sort of people he found himself with.

“It’s not my fault,” Rowen whispered before darkness overcame him. He couldn’t escape the monsters hiding behind his eyelids. Nor could he escape the monsters plaguing his daylight hours.
How much longer can you fight us, Son of Elrik?