Underestimate Me

As she slowly moved her veil from her face and the hood from her hair, she saw the shock form in his eyes. Like a wave it traveled through his body and for a moment, only a moment, she almost believed his bewilderment to be true. Her eyes flickered for that short instance, before returning to their harsh and impenetrable glare. She had almost forgotten about his talent. She had almost forgotten how he was capable to fool everyone. He had deceived her with those same eyes and that same act. It was a play he had grown accustomed to performing, washing his hands in innocence. She would not be misled again. As the scars on her body reminded her, when she undressed in the evenings and dressed upon the mornings, she had suffered for her ignorance.

Revealing her face showed more than who she was. It showed her molester more than just the ghost she had been in the past. The empty shell she had been before Maa had moved in her. It demonstrated the last days of her former life. Every scar they had inflicted stood proudly on her face. One side of her face was overrun with scar tissue, contorting her face with white lines. The other side, they had left alone. They had not scratched any portion of that side of her face.

“We need something comely to look at when we take you,” One of the men had said as her face was drenched in blood and she had been too tired to scream anymore. Her eyes barely open, blood dripping into their corners, not to be stopped anymore by her lashes. Her head had bobbed her mind almost into another world, leaving this one for what it was. They had not yet started on her body, but they soon would. Their filthy hands upon her already.

Lifting herself out of the haunting she connected with Rowen’s eyes. They still held that same shock and it looked like he was about to throw a fit. The old signs were all there. It was as if he had not changed at all the past two years. Or had he ever been the way she had thought of him? That terrible morning had made her rethink all she knew.

The first one to make a sound was Rowen. From his stunned disposition he managed to mutter a word, maybe it was a sentence. Josselyn did not catch it as her gaze was already averted to Meredith. Her eyes showed shock as well and all she could do now was try to tell her how guilt-ridden she felt for not telling her immediately. She hoped the desperation coming from her eyes, inspired a bit of compassion in the woman that looked so cold. Meredith was the only one who was allowed to see her vulnerable. She was the only one that was worthy of a glance filled with desperation.

“Josselyn...but...you…you are dead…” Rowen uttered.

“I know you would prefer that,” Josselyn said. Her voice was so cold it could have frozen over the heated ground of summer. “It is more convenient when you lay your hands upon another suffering maid.” He opened his mouth to speak and rage was building up in his body. She saw it rise in his body. His shoulders getting tense, which must hurt for him having an injured one. His pupils narrowed and the muscles around his jaw started twitching.

“You cannot believe...” He was interrupted by her roaring voice.

“Silence!” She shouted and at only that word, Meredith felt the urge to stomp Rowen in his guts, and acted upon it. As before, he folded. His nose almost touching his knees as the breath was beaten out of him, he was gasping for air. She nodded towards Meredith, thanking her for her interference.

“I did not allow you to speak,” Josselyn hissed. She felt like the cobra Rowen had compared her to earlier. She had all the intention to strike him with her venom, but she knew she needed to be smart about this. She needed him in order to have any leverage with Elrik. He would not be useful to her dead. She held no desire for his death; how badly she wanted his eyes to possess that empty stare into nothingness. It would make her gamble the lives of her sisters away. Her fingers traced the scar that ran from her eyebrow to her cheekbone. She remembered how the knife had been pushed in it and the movement down had been painfully slow. Her screams echoed in her mind and bounced off the walls of her past.

“I did not take a knife to my own face,” She said. Her voice grim, she did not look Rowen in the eye. She was talking to him, but she was looking at Meredith. Reminding herself the way her sister had cared for her, the way she had taken care of the scars as a true medicine woman. “You inflicted these wounds, and these are just the visible ones. You will stay here and I will not be through with you before those scars are inflicted on you too. Maybe then, maybe then we will give you the peace of death.”

A low growl escaped his mouth. He was protesting in his most animalistic form, reminding Josselyn of herself in battle. Maybe his Balor was not that different from her Maa. Before he could truly riot she waved at Meredith. “Take him away; I don’t want him in my presence.” This time he was not as easily taken. He was raging like a rabid animal. His outcries were lost on her. She had shut herself off from his words. It took a few of the sisters to get him out of her tent. Each pulling at his limbs or his torso, one even grabbing his hair.

“I had nothing to do with it! I thought you dead!” Some of his cries reached her, but she suppressed them, closing her eyes.

A silver tongue cannot hide a dark heart she kept reminding herself. She prevented his words from seeping into her mind, contorting her ideas and her beliefs. She would not have him influence her ever again. She told one of the sisters to tend to his wounds. She would not have him be taken by fever and infection if she could do the honors herself once he had proven useful.

“Everyone out!” she said to the lingering sisters that had come to aid when they heard his roaring in her tent. They left, looking confused, but none spoke. The way her eyes flamed, she was not to be crossed. Not in this moment. She would hear their displeasure in the morning. Josselyn would deal with it all when the sun would show its face. It would be hours before the first rays would appear.

“Are you sending me away too, sister?” The soft voice of Meredith found her ears as she stepped back into the tent after taking Rowen out of her sight. Josselyn sighed.

“No, I would have you stay.” Meredith moved closer and grabbed her hand, squeezing it softly before speaking. “Will you tell me about this monster?” Her voice was so warm. Meredith was day and night. She was terror and peace. She was love and hate. At this moment she was love, and she was all Josselyn needed now.

“You know I won’t lie to you if you ask,” Josselyn said. Meredith’s lips were at her ear, her warm breath beating against her skin.

“Then I’ll ask.”