Crystalline Tears
Crystalline Tears
“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.” Pale silvery moonlight floating into the room, casting a shadow over his precious face. But it’s contorted with rage and atrocity. Beyond him the mirror tells me mine is blank – numb, I can’t feel. I’m trying trying trying, but I can’t – I just can’t.
Fingers trembling, lips moving, eyes watering, voices shaky. He breaks down right in front of my, lungs expanding and contracting rapidly; he doesn’t want this. But I can’t feel anything. I keep trying trying trying, but it doesn’t work. It doesn’t work.
Fuck fuck fuck.
I’ll load it.
“I c-can’t do this a-anymore,” falls from his mouth like dice, they tumble, the hit the ground, they make a noise that pierces the air.
I’ll aim it.
Nothing, nothing, I still feel nothing, while his tears fall to the ground, shattering all around us, like pretty crystalline, but it cuts into me, makes blood seep out, open wounds open wounds, slow painful death, those stupid pretty crystalline tears, they’re killing us both – only I can’t fucking feel it.
Arms wrapping around one another, sloppy salt-water kisses, his lips trail down my jaw, then run back up and touch against my own lips, you taste of strawberries and vanilla, of nicotine and oceans. Shirts falling off, hands running across chests, but he’s still crying and trembling, and I still can’t feel.
Still can’t feel.
And then he pulls away, the crystalline leaking from his face even faster, the sobs even louder, he shakes his head. “W-we can’t, Gerard. We can’t.” Shirt goes back on, twelve steps towards the door, stop, turn around; “I’m s-sorry.”
But you’ll fire it; bullet flies past the skin, shatters the bone, poisons the blood, and explodes in the heart. A searing, gaping hole.
But I don’t want to feel I don’t want to feel, I don’t don’t don’t. The hole keeps spreading, burning at the edges, tearing and bleeding, I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe.
Make it stop make it stop make it stop.
Dry heaves and salt-water – it tastes nothing like you. It’s acidic, like alkaline, dangerous and poisonous, choking and suffocating me.
It hurt hurt hurts.
That last thing I see are pretty crystalline tears, sparkling in the moonlight, as my lungs give way.
I felt for the first time today.
Fingers trembling, lips moving, eyes watering, voices shaky. He breaks down right in front of my, lungs expanding and contracting rapidly; he doesn’t want this. But I can’t feel anything. I keep trying trying trying, but it doesn’t work. It doesn’t work.
Fuck fuck fuck.
I’ll load it.
“I c-can’t do this a-anymore,” falls from his mouth like dice, they tumble, the hit the ground, they make a noise that pierces the air.
I’ll aim it.
Nothing, nothing, I still feel nothing, while his tears fall to the ground, shattering all around us, like pretty crystalline, but it cuts into me, makes blood seep out, open wounds open wounds, slow painful death, those stupid pretty crystalline tears, they’re killing us both – only I can’t fucking feel it.
Arms wrapping around one another, sloppy salt-water kisses, his lips trail down my jaw, then run back up and touch against my own lips, you taste of strawberries and vanilla, of nicotine and oceans. Shirts falling off, hands running across chests, but he’s still crying and trembling, and I still can’t feel.
Still can’t feel.
And then he pulls away, the crystalline leaking from his face even faster, the sobs even louder, he shakes his head. “W-we can’t, Gerard. We can’t.” Shirt goes back on, twelve steps towards the door, stop, turn around; “I’m s-sorry.”
But you’ll fire it; bullet flies past the skin, shatters the bone, poisons the blood, and explodes in the heart. A searing, gaping hole.
But I don’t want to feel I don’t want to feel, I don’t don’t don’t. The hole keeps spreading, burning at the edges, tearing and bleeding, I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe.
Make it stop make it stop make it stop.
Dry heaves and salt-water – it tastes nothing like you. It’s acidic, like alkaline, dangerous and poisonous, choking and suffocating me.
It hurt hurt hurts.
That last thing I see are pretty crystalline tears, sparkling in the moonlight, as my lungs give way.
I felt for the first time today.