The Way You'll Love Me

Jack had always been a dreamer. He’d dreamt about the places he’d go, the food he’d try, the friends he’d meet, and the jobs he’d work. So many things in life were indefinite, but, regardless, he held high hopes for them. Lucky, for him, though, something he didn’t have to worry about was meeting that ‘special someone.’ No one did, actually. As soon as Jack was old enough to comprehend what was going on around him, he’d notice how all of his peers were slowly being paired off. As a result, he’d asked his mother about it one day, somewhere around when he had just turned five. Her response had seemed simple to his fresh mind; “One day, in the near future, you’ll discover your soul mate, and live the rest of your life with them.”

Most children were able to locate their soul mates as soon as they were born, their parents becoming aware as well, due the feelings in the air. This was because soul mates were generally chosen, by some unknown force, to be located near each other. For others, more time would be required, and they’d take a knowing to their future spouse sometime in the few years following their birth. No matter what, their paths would always cross before they went on to develop into adults. Although it may seem odd, and full of bumps and bruises, it was quite an easy, effortless process, as far as everyone was concerned.

Being a curious young boy, Jack was more interested in the identity of his future love to find out if they had any cool toys or not, or if they had something like a trampoline or pool in the back yard of their house. He couldn’t quite comprehend the hugeness of the situation yet, though, so it wasn’t a worry for him at all whenever he noticed a new found couple.

Once he was in his middle school years, and other people’s relationships began to venture out from being completely platonic, Jack had started to become a bit impatient, and rather jealous. His two best friends, Rian and Zack, had already found their soul mates. Rian’s had been located right when he was born. She was a tall, blonde girl named Cassadee, who had a gorgeous smile. It turns out that she had been born a couple rooms down from Rian, on that very same cold, December day. Zack, on the other hand, had bumped into his at a grocery store with his mother, when he was seven. His soul mate was a small, brunette girl named Caroline, whose face was decorated with tons of freckles. The energy in the shop had been so thick, that the two children’s parents had immediately made plans to get together and learn more about each other, as well as to set up play dates for their kids.

Although he was happy for his friends, it annoyed him endlessly whenever he saw them with their partners. He’d be walking down the hall, and he’d see Zack and Caroline holding hands, or he’d be exiting the washroom, and he’d see Cass waiting outside for Rian. He knew it shouldn’t bother him, and he knew his turn would come, but there was something inside of him that told him that might not actually be the case.

One morning, after a chat with his mother, Jack decided that he had some serious thinking to do. Perhaps a bit of focusing, too. He could learn to summon things… Maybe he’d develop telekinesis, and move his lost boy, wherever he was, right to him. Did that work when you couldn’t see the object? He’d have to concentrate a ton, probably. Snapping out of his thoughts, Jack thought back to his earlier conversation, an expression of distaste taking over his features. It had been an awkward one, that’s for sure. First, his mom had explained to him how, “He was growing,” and was “Probably developing in certain regions.” Never had he wanted to talk about that with his mother, but alas, there he was, listening to her stutter about puberty. He had just turned twelve a few months back, and the woman was starting to get worried about him. She voiced how she was, “Concerned by his lonesomeness.” Now that Jack’s thoughts had been prompted, he could see where his mother was coming from. Reasons began to show through for all of his negative feelings towards other children, those of which that were paired. It was all coming together. Once he’d realized the tremendous impact that his situation could have, he felt the largest pang in his chest than ever before. He ran to his room, stumbling on the stairs several times along the way. He shut the door hastily, falling onto his bed, his mind a whirl of worries.

Going back to his early thoughts, Jack decided that there was no use in trying to locate his lost boy on his own. No matter what he thought as a kid, he didn’t have super powers, even as much as he had wanted them. His brain was utterly useless, and the feeling engulfed him entirely. All he knew about the boy was just that; he was a boy. Every kid’s soul mate ended up being of the sex they preferred, so Jack so no reason why his wouldn’t be a boy. It’s not like the mysterious force was homophobic, because he had gay friends that had already been paired. He was pretty sure of his sexuality, enough to not have doubts about it, anyways. Maybe the force was wrong about it, and he just wasn’t in the right places to meet a girl. Then again, people have said that no one had ever been left unmatched, but there Jack was.

By the age of seventeen, Jack had turned his future love into a present work of fiction, rather than a missing piece of reality. After falling into a large spout of depression once he’d passed his tween years, his mother had decided he’d needed something to keep him busy. She’d introduced him to drawing, painting, writing, and just about anything that required creativity. She’d thought it’d take his mind off of his lost boy, but it had only expanded his thoughts. He’d draw pictures of the boy in his head, and write stories about what it’d be like when they met. His mother was well aware of what he was doing by then, but she didn’t stop him, in fear of breaking his heart even more.

On this particular day, Jack was pacing in his room, continuously muttering the phrase, “In a couple of years.” His mom had entered his room, curious once she’d heard the muttering from outside of the door. She watched for a bit, before taking action. Jack’s mother reached out and grabbed her son’s arm, pulling him to face her. He stopped talking, and looked at her with wide eyes.

“What, Jack? What’ll happen, ‘In a couple of years’?” His mother had asked him, worried, yet fed up with his behaviour.

“I’m going to know his name,” Jack breathed in reply.

After that occurrence, Jack’s mother sat him down to explain to him how he’d been waiting forever, and how he was practically going insane. A knock on the door had interrupted her lecture, causing Jack to bolt downstairs and swing the door open. A middle aged woman was revealed in the process, and she began to speak.

“Hello there, I’m one of your new neighbors. We just moved in next door, and I thought I’d stop by to say hello. Would your mother be in, perhaps?” Her voice was sweet, almost sickening, and it urged Jack to get right to the point.

“Do you have a son?”

“No, but I have two lovely daughters-“

“Oh.” And with that, Jack was slamming the door in the lady’s face, only to receive a scolding by his mother on his way back upstairs. As he entered his bedroom once again, he could hear the two adults talking downstairs about his behaviour. He went over to his easel, automatically tuning them out. Jack looked down at the piece he had painted earlier, a portrait of a boy with shaggy blond hair, a product of his imagination. He thought about how he was blocking everyone else out of his life for one boy, that of which he didn’t even know. It didn’t matter to him, though, because he knew that his lost boy was all that he needed.

At school the next day, Jack had his notebook in front of him during lunch, and was busy writing while eating with Rian and Zack. Annoyed with their friend’s far out mind, the two boys shook Jack’s shoulders, speaking when he finally paid attention to them.

“Dude, what are you doing?” Rian asked, confusion set in on his face.

Even though the two boys were around Jack a lot, they had no idea about how he made his little imaginations come to life.

“Uh, just writing a letter to someone.”

“Who, man? Is it your girl?” Zack asked, a smirk present on his lips.

Jack shook his head with a sigh, deciding that it was time he gave his friends an explanation. The boy realized that his lies about his soul mate moving far away just wouldn’t cut it anymore, so he stood up from the table in a rush. He motioned for them to follow him outside, sitting down under a tree a ways away from the buildings, folding his legs beneath him.

“I think there’s something I need to tell you guys.”

“Shoot,” Zack and Rian said in unison, sitting down as well.

“I haven’t been completely honest with you guys… You see… my soul mate, he isn’t exactly a girl.”

“Oh, so it’s a guy, huh? Had no idea you were into dudes, man!” Rian laughed, making Jack blush and hide his face in his sleeves.

“What’s his name?” Zack asked, laughing along with Rian. “You haven’t told us yet.”

“You see, that’s another thing. I don’t even know his name.”

“What, really? You haven’t met him yet, then?” Rian asked, eyebrows drawing together, and a frown setting in on his lips.

Jack shook his head, and both of his friends sent him sympathetic smiles as the bell rang, as well as ‘we’re talking about this later,’ looks. They knew Jack was hopeless, but they weren’t ready to break his heart once more, all over again. Jack grabbed his notebook, standing up and making his way back to the school. Little did his friends know, he was writing a story in the notebook about what’d happen after he’d met his lost boy. They’d go on their second date, and they’d hold hands and kiss a bunch. Jack could picture what the other boy would be wearing, and he made a mental note to create a sketch of it later. While writing, strong feelings of love had resonated from deep inside of him, and he’d hoped it be just as special as that when he finally met his lost boy, if he ever met him at all, that is.

Jack was twenty three now, with his own job, his own car, and his own house. On this particular morning, Jack was late to work. He rushed around his house, grabbing his keys and wallet and the like, before running outside and sliding into his car. He’d left the bigger part of his obsession with his lost soul mate in his teenage years, but he still thought about the unknown boy from time to time. He’d found other things to focus on in university when he wasn’t doing art, but that morning, he’d decided to look at his old drawings, which had caused his tardiness. Starting his engine, Jack sped off to work, muttering about how angry his boss was going to be.

The traffic was horrendous that morning, rendering Jack even later to work than he had been originally. Pulling up to a stop light, Jack could feel a funny feeling in his chest. It got stronger as he moved forward, and thoughts about possible sicknesses began to run through his head, before they were completely silenced. He looked out the window to his right, only to be faced with the most beautiful boy he had ever seen. They boy had shaggy brown hair, just like the boy in his drawings from when he was sixteen. The feelings the other brought Jack were indescribable, like nothing he had ever felt before. It felt like he had just found the key to the answers to all of his questions. It felt like he’d opened up every single present he’d ever received in his life, all at once. It felt like he was flying over every city he had ever wanted to visit. It’d felt like he’d won a million lotteries at once, like his heart was jumping out of his chest, like his lungs were floating in the most beautiful lake in the world, subject to drowning, but never to drown. The boy in the car beside him was his lost boy.

After motioning to the other boy to pull over, the two got out of their cars, the nameless stranger following Jack to the nearest coffee shop. Jack had figured he was already late enough, and his boss would probably be happy that he’d found his soul mate finally, anyways. The two sat down in a booth across from each other, eyes flicking up to each other, smiles appearing, disappearing, and then reappearing in a constant loop. Jack decided to talk first.

“Where did you go?” He asked, shock evident in his voice.
The other boy giggled, before replying, “I moved to England just after I was born. My parents had figured I’d meet you there, but they were wrong, so I’m back.”

“Oh. Well, I’m Jack Barakat. Twenty three, six foot two, English major, I work at some shitty office, and I do art on the side.” He then looked up at Alex, a shy smile present on his face, urging the other boy to speak.

“Alex Gaskarth, twenty one, six feet, and I’m currently doing nothing since I just moved here, but I like singing and playing the guitar.” Alex smiled back at Jack.

The two talked a bit more about themselves, filling each other in on what they had missed, before deciding to go back to Jack’s house. They stood up from their table, abandoning the drinks they had ordered early on. Just as Alex was about to turn around and make his way out the door at to his car, Jack pulled him into a hug. The younger boy smiled into the taller boy’s shoulder as he heard him whisper in his ear, “I’m so glad you’re here.”

Six months later, and Alex had moved into Jack’s lake-side home with him. The two hard alerted their families of their discoveries once they’d gotten back to Jack’s on the day that they had met, and now their relatives were very familiar with each other. Jack and Alex had taken a liking to each other quite quickly, pent up feelings being released as soon as they had their first moment alone. Mouths attached and hands roaming, they finally both felt complete. That ‘honey moon stage’ of their relationship, although it had started right from the beginning, still lasted to this day.

Currently, although it was the middle of the night, Jack had the brilliant idea to take Alex out swimming in the lake with him. Although it was quite warm out, the water was still cold, so it wasn’t really a smart idea. He urged the smaller boy to get out of bed, cooing at his boyfriend as he rubbed his eyes sleepily.

“Jack, what are you doing?” Alex asked, clinging on to Jack while being dragged out of their house.

“Taking you swimming!” Jack sang, turning around and pressing his lips to Alex’s before continuing on.

“But it’s co-old!” Alex whined, only to be shushed by Jack, completed with a pat to the bum.

Once they’d reached the shore, Jack helped Alex slide his pants off, his own abandoned inside, leaving them both in only boxers. Jack took Alex’s hand once again, and pulled him toward the water. After a bit of shrieking on Alex’s part, they were both comfortable. Jack took his chance then, placing one hand on Alex’s hip as the other went to his cheek, and pulled the younger boy closer to him. Their lips met not much later, and neither of them wasted time, brushing lips a few times before opening their mouths to each other. Their tongues tangled, and Jack then decided to take control. This went on fair a fair while, before they decided that they both needed to get more air into their lungs. Laying back and floating, they stared at the stars above them, and Jack thanked every single one for bringing him the boy beside him, who was no longer lost.