Losing the Ponds

Amy and Rory were gone. River had left, as usual, back in her cell, and her next visit unknown.

The Doctor was lonely. Somehow, he always managed to lose those closest to him. He always ended up alone, just a mad man in a box, traveling all of time and space - and no one to share it with.

He missed Rose. He missed Martha. And Donna, and Micky, and Jack, and Sarah Jane. He missed his Ponds.

No more Rory the Roman. No more Amelia Pond. Goodbye the girl who waited, and the boy who waited longer.

The Doctor tried to wipe his tears, but more replaced them, so he gave up. The TARDIS floated in the vortex, going nowhere, and sitting in no time.

The Doctor wanted to sit there forever. Nothing bad could happen here, right? No one else could ever be taken from him? He deserved a little less heart ache. A lot less.

He thought of all the other times he lost companions. He wished he could visit Martha. But she wouldn't recognize him. He wished he could talk to Donna. But she wouldn't know him, and not remember all the amazing times they had together. He wished he could see Rose. But she was gone, living happily with his other self. He thought about Jack, but he was probably busy with Torchwood.

The Ponds were lost. Forever gone, never able to return.

How did he always manage to lose these people? Hadn't he done enough deeds to make up for his awful crime on Gallifray? Couldn't the universe forgive him, and let him be happy? Just once?

Of course not. He was a murderer. He didn't deserve happiness. He was foolish to believe he could ever be happy.

The Doctor stood up from his captains chair, staring at the controls with a lost expression.

He just wanted it to end.

He set the controls to random.

Maybe he could find somewhere, where no one could find him.

The TARDIS shook as it flew through the vortex, but the Doctor paid no mind.

A cloud would be nice. A big, fluffy cloud, where no one could find him. He could stop and watch a civilization from above, and never interfere.

The TARDIS stopped.

The Doctor didn't bother looking at his screen to see where he was. He stepped outside with a blank expression, finding himself in a park, next to a big oak tree.

It was sunset, and he could see people milling about, all in Victorian gowns and suits. The Doctor looked down at his own clothes, and cringed.

He certainly didn't fit in. And this outfit was just a painful reminder of the two closest friends he had had in a very long time.

He decided he liked this place. In his mind, he knew this was a peaceful era, and there would be no use of him here. Yes. This would be the place. A cloud sounded nice. A big, puffy white cloud, where no one could see his blue box, and he could live peacefully by himself.

Screw the universe. It and the Earth had used him enough.

With that thought, he stalked back into the TARDIS, where he would find a new shirt and camouflage his beloved Sexy in the sky.