Deeply Bound

My first ultrasound appointment is scheduled for this morning and as weird as this sounds it sort of snuck up on me. In a way, I am happy that I had been distracted because wow this morning brings loads of nerves and anticipation on what this little baby will look like. Time is passing by quickly and I'm already at a first milestone with this first appointment.

Josh is awake before me and as I roll out of our king size bed to go to the washroom and wash up, I can hear him working in the kitchen. I hear the noise of the coffee maker brewing and smell the bacon, eggs and toast that he is putting together and their goes that blender. The sound of the blender tells me that he is making ice cappuccino’s, which means that I should hurry up, get dressed because breakfast will be ready in minutes.

I put together an outfit, I am still in my normal clothes not maternity and sport a casual top and a pair or dark blue jeans. I tie my hair up, put on a bit of makeup, some eyeshadow, eyeliner and mascara and walk down the hallway into the kitchen.

He is pouring the iced cappuccinos into large cups when he looks up and smiles, "Hey Moma, how are you feeling this morning?"

I smile and before grabbing my plate and drink to take to the living room to eat, I reach up to his cheek and steel a kiss, "I am good. I can't wait to see this little thing." I say while resting a hand on my stomach."

He admits, "Yah me too. So is today the day we find out if it's a boy or girl?"

"I'm not sure? I read online that is usually done after eighteen weeks and I am only about fourteen. I think today they are just looking to see the growth, check heartbeat and just make sure that the little one is healthy."

He nods, "Ah okay got you."

We have two recliners in our living room that are placed in front of the T.V. Josh puts on one of our recorded shows as we chow down on breakfast.

While I eat, I try to keep my mind distracted but it is so hard not to think about it. This little baby, my little gift is growing inside me. I am off in la la land.
"Jordan?"
I startle and look over, "Do you need to drink water before this appointment?" Josh asks.
"Oh yes, wow I almost forgot to do that."

"We should probably leave in the next ten minutes."

"Okay" I say to him. Josh is the kind of person that likes to follow plan. He isn't one for surprises or being late or anything like that so I take his message as a hint to get moving. I finish eating, take my dishes to the dishwasher, and get started on the water consumption. I hate drinking all of it at once. Three glasses, the first goes down fine but part way through the second I start to feel very full especially after downing breakfast. I finish then head to the washroom for one last pee. It's almost an hour drive to the doctor's office so that will give my bladder enough time to fill up again for this ultrasound.

The drive in feels like it is taking forever. Josh is running through all of the plans for our day. He always does this whenever we carpool together. Today we both took the morning off to see this little baby.

Josh says, "So we are going to be there in the next twenty minutes. I'll come in with you."
"Yes of course."

"After do you want to stop for lunch before going to work?"

"Sure" I say, I already know where he has in mind, his favorite coffee shop.

"We can get a couple of sandwiches and iced caps?"

"Sure sounds good Josh." We go through this routine regularly and I just humor him. I know him reciting our plans is a way of him keeping his mind focused and at ease. Soon enough we roll into the parking lot and soon find ourselves in the waiting room.

A nurse opens the reception door that separates the appointment rooms from the reception area. She peeks her head out into the reception area and calls out, "Jordan?"

I smile and say, "That’s me"

She smiles and says, "Would you follow me?"

Josh and I get up and nervously follow her back through the door and down the hall she brings us to an area where there is a change room and within the change room there is a door to the room where he ultrasound takes place. She explains, "Please remove your pants, shirt and bra, you can leave your panties on." She points to some clean folded linens on the bench and says, you can wrap one of those around you, the tops are there and you can leave your clothes in here until you are done. When you are ready just come through the door and your husband and I will be waiting on the other side."

I say, "Okay" and close the curtain after catching a glimpse of Josh following the nurse through a second door into the ultrasound room.

When I enter the room, the lights are dim. On the left, there is a counter and a couple of stools. The nurse is already sitting on one of them. She has a computer in front of her with ultra sound equipment on the side. There is a rather tall chair well it's a half chair half bed in the center of the room for me to lie on with a step to get up onto. Josh is sitting in a chair on the right and on the ceiling; there is a flat screen monitor.

The nurse smiles, "Jordan come lie down." She pats a hand on the cushioned surface of this chair like bed and I waddle over and scoot up managing to keep the linen wrapped around my lower half.
She helps me into a position that she wants and carefully pulls the linen down to just below where my panties are and she helps me lift the paper feeling top that they provided in the change room up.
She warns, "This is cold."

I say, "okay"

She puts some clear gel just below my belly button. It's cold like she promised and as she prepares her equipment I tilt my head to glance over to Josh who gives me an encouraging smile.

The nurse explains, "Today we are checking for the baby’s vitals, measuring growth and making sure that everything looks normal. If you look up you can see everything on that screen."

Josh asks, "Do you take pictures?"

"Yes, we will make sure that you leave with a good picture of your little one." She smiles and continues, "Shall we see?"

In unison, we say, "Yes!"

The nurse carefully puts the wand to my stomach and presses, I can feel it on my bladder and am reminded that I have to pee but I bury the thought away as soon as I look up at the monitor.
"There's the little ones head." She slides the wand over my stomach to get a side view and I see the first image of this little one.

"There is an arm and that is the umbilical cord. There is a leg."

I start to cry, I can't believe this is real.

Josh pats my shoulder and smiles, "Are you okay."

I nod and say in a breath, "I wasn't sure what we were going to see."

The nurse explains, "Your in you fourteenth week, after twelve weeks most of their critical systems are formed and after that it's growth and development."

I watch the screen as she moves the wand to produce different angles.

Josh asks, "Can you tell the gender?"

"It's too early, your next ultrasound we will be able to have a better picture."

She pauses at different points and types stuff into her computer and finally she angles it one more time of a side view of the entire body. She says, "There, that is a good picture." I look up and watch the baby's arms move I can't seem to look away from the screen and then I am prompted by the nurse, "Everything looks normal. We are going to send all of the information to your doctor as a final check." She removes he wand from my stomach and hands me some paper towel so that I can wipe the gel off my stomach.

I can hear the hum of the printer as the image of our baby is printed.

The nurse says, "Dad, for you to hold onto" She reaches over and hands Josh the picture and I see him look at the photo.

The nurse says to me, "You can go ahead and change. You probably need to use the washroom, there is one just down the hall on the left and when you go back to reception be sure to get the date for your next appointment."

"Okay thank you" I say and exit the door that leads into the hangs room while Josh follows the nurse through the other door to reception.

I meet Josh out front and he already has the appointment card for the next visit. He smiles and says, "Ready?"

"Yes let's go eat."