I'm Alive and on Fire

Josh thinks he gets the gist of the show when suddenly, Eric and Sookie are very naked and Eric is on top of her on the living room floor, and Josh raises an eyebrow. His dick is hard instantly – like, literally instantly, because a van full of men isn't exactly the best place to jerk off and the closest thing he's been to porn in the last two weeks is peeking at the newest issue of Front magazine they're in with Vikki Blows on the cover. Also, he's eighteen, and Anna Paquin's boobs, but also Alexander Skarsgard's butt, and Josh must look as overwhelmed as he feels because Dan snorts out a laugh.

“You alright mate?” Dan asks.

“You said there'd be blood and guts but you completely failed to mention the extremely graphic vampire on human sex,” Josh says, shifting a bit as Eric fucks Sookie from behind.

Or, it's 2009 and Dan is really into this new vampire show called True Blood.