Second Chances

Ezra's p.o.v: it's sad to see him like this. it's been two months since they told him his cancer has progressed. he's gotten better from the little cold but the cancer is eating him alive. he's lost most of hair and he's lost a lot of weight. He got an apartment and my dad is letting me stay with him under the exception that i bring Alix to every family event and i check in every once and awhile meaning every day. I help Alix with everything. during school and work hours he goes to the hospital then i pick him up after work. we both know he doesn't have much time left but I still try to give him hope. it's December and they said January. and it makes me so sad to see him like this. it's Christmas eve and we're getting ready to go to my dad's house. tomorrow him and Maliah are planning to get married. so we are doing presents today.
"Hey" i say in Alix's ear while hugging him from behind
"Hey love" he replies
"you just about ready?" i ask
"Yeah let me just grab my beanie" he tells me. he always wears a beanie now he doesn't like that he doesn't have hair anymore.
"You look fine without it" i tell him
"No i don't. just let me wear my beanie in peace" he says
"Fine!" i groan and he laughs and we take off to my dads. once we get there we take down all the presents. We got my dad a signed Oakland Raiders jersey, a expensive necklace for Maliah, an art set for Eli, some band shirts and two tickets for a crown the empire concert for Eros, some mainstream thing for Estella, band shirts and tickets to an All time low VIP concert for me, Alix, and Mina, and some rap c.d. for Ethan
"Hoe Hoe Hoe! MERRY HOEMAS!" I yell while we walk in
"Boo yah! where are the strippers" Ethan says excitedly and Eli smacks him up the head. Maliah has gotten very pregnant and very hormonal. she is very bossy and very scary. after the dinner and everything we go home. we get into my room and we just lay down staring at the ceiling.
"Ezra. I'm not afraid anymore" Alix says
"Huh?" I question
"I'm not afraid. of dieing. lots of people die everyday and I'm tired of you lying to me saying i'll make it when we both know I won't." he says making me mad
"But you can't die. you won't die. i'll do anything to keep you here!" i yell with tears falling down my face
"but love. you've done anything you can. and your love is more than i ever deserved. thank you. when I pass away don't be sad" he tells me
"how can i do that. i love you so much" i say crying and he lays me down and hugs me
"Shh.. it's ok.. it's bound to happen..." he says so calmly and i just sob more
"You can't leave me... you can't" i cry hysterically
"You will find someone new. and you will fall in love again" he tells me
"No I won't" i sob
"Yes you will" he says and i just keep crying and he tries to calm me down and soothes me i end up passing out from crying so much

(The next morning)

I wake up and feel awful from crying so much. i get up and see Alix still asleep
"Wake up Alix" i say and genteelly shake him but he doesn't
"C'mon Alix wake up" i say louder and shake him more
"Alix this isn't funny" i say getting worried then i check his breath he isn't breathing and he has no pulse
"NO NO NO! ALIX! ALIX! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME! YOU CAN'T YOU CAN'T NO! no!" i yell sobbing then i call 911
"911 what's your emergency?" i hear a lady ask
"My boyfriend he has no pulse" i sob
"Ok what's the address?" the lady asks
"667 hyde street the Calvin apartments room 1b" i tell her
"ok an ambulance is on the way" she tells me and i hang up. about ten minutes later they arrive and take him out on a gurney. they check his breathing and pulls again and they estimate the time of death as 12 in the morning. my family arrives and the police found his will. it says half his savings will go to my college fund and the apartment will be mine once i turn 18 and that he talked to the owner and they said it was ok. and that the rest of the money will go to his mom. i fall to my knees and sob
"NO! NO! NO!" I scream and feel someone pick me up. it's my dad. i guess someone called him
"THIS CAN'T BE REAL! IT CAN'T BE!" I sob into my dads chest then i start hitting myself in the head trying to wake myself up but my dad grabs my arms and i sob more and i see Eros looking at me in pity and Eli starting to cry as my dad puts me in his car. this can't be real... it can't be

(a month later)

"I was tired of living.... I wanted to join my Alix... so i slit my wrists and it didn't work.... I miss him.... why can't i just join him...." i tell Eli faintly as he hugs me
"We need you here. he'd want you alive. i know he would" he tells me and i hug him more
"I never want to fall in love again" i tell him angrily and push him off and storm into my room. something just snapped that day.... now i am angry all the time... will I ever be happy again