Obsidian Crosses
Fading Pt 3
Jesus was apparently missed. A FUCKING LOT.... I wish I would have that kind of fanfare whenever I entered the room, but noooo... He even looked happy to see me, which was a fucking shame, since I'm the one who took all of his disciples away from him. His disciples didn't take him as seriously as they used to, but they still fawned over the long-haired loser. Even Billie Joe was talking his ear off, mostly to try and get JC drunk, but still. He had his arm slung around Jesus' shoulder while his disciples were huddled up next to him, listening to Jesus as if he was going to soon or something. Even Tre was quiet for once, which really freaked me out, so I hid in the bathroom and listened to my Green Day CDs. It was nice drowning out the world with the sweet, comforting vocals of Billie Joe, they always made me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
It was Passover Week in Jerusalem, which meant lots and lots of tourists who were just dying to hear some decent music. Since it was a huge festival week full of drunkenness, crime and all sorts of other debauchery, I knew I could get lots of fans. But, I was also deviously happy for other reason. Jesus would be dying before the week was up, and I could finally absorb his powers and take my place as the most important person in history. Green Day was going to be immortal, and they were never gonna die even if death smacked them in their pretty faces. I was laughing so loudly that the window broke in the bathroom, and a loony leper crawled inside, and he was hissing at me. Both of his legs were bloody stumps and he had unnaturally long finger-nails. Suddenly, he lunged towards me, bonking his head on the toilet and dropping to floor. Shrieking, I burst out of the bathroom and threw myself into the group of huddled Jesus fans. No one batted an eyelash at my sudden appearance until the rabid leper ominously crawled out of the bathroom. I threw Peter at the leper as an offering of peace.
Peter started screaming and everyone besides Jesus joined in unison. Billie Joe grabbed a spare guitar and tried to smash down on the head of the leper. Jesus, who was apparently the most calm motherfucker in existence, stood up and slowly strolled over to the leper and placed his hands on him. Out of nowhere, the leprosy was cured and his legs randomly grew back. I suddenly understand why the Bible is a work of fiction, because it was the most unbelivable things to have happened. The leper was sobbing into the robe of Jesus out of gratitude. I rolled my eyes.
"Your new legs suck, I could build better legs than that, asshole!" I muttered darkly under my breath. Non one listened, as usual.
After the leper left, the whole happy group began chatting with J-Christ again. I shook my head in exasperation and retreated into Billie Joe's room. Brushing aside his old records and dildos, I climbed into his fluffy bed and promptly fell asleep. Several hours later, I was rudely awakened by Tre licking my ear and telling me we were at Jerusalem. I groaned.. Great, just what I wanted, more Jesus fans fawning over his dumb face. Slowly, I dragged myself from the safety of Billie Joe's bed and wandered with the group outside into the sweltering sun. The sight awaiting me fucking disturbed me.
A donkey was being led along by Tre. Tre had wasted band funds on a stank-ass donkey. "Look, Jesus, I bought you a fantabulous present!" Tre giggled happily. Jesus smiled and thanked Tre. While he wasn't looking, I socked tre in the shoulders. Billie Joe started telling Jesus that he should ride the donkey into Jerusalem because he was bitchin'. Jesus blushed for a moment; he looked really flattered. "Yeah Jesus, ride dat ass into town!" I shouted evilly. Instead of being mad at me, he smiled.
"If you insist, Heather, then I will. However, why don't you join me?" He purred. Panic settled into my stomach as the disciples cheered and hoisted me onto the big fat donkey beside Jesus. The donkey, which was extremely scared, took off running towards the town gates. I threw my arms around Jesus' waist and held onto dear life. The disciples and Green Day were running after us, almost merrily. I buried my face into J-Christ's robe and wished I could die from embarrassment. Jesus didn't smell half-bad. His scent consisted of cinnamon, spices and some kind of sweet perfume. Such a heavenly smell. Then I realized what I was doing and wrenched my face away from his robes. What the fuck did I just do? Crowds were pressing in on every side, trying to get a glimpse of Jesus or merely touch his robe. I smacked a few of them away. Goddammit, I should just steal his robe and sell it on eBay, I could make millions and buy Saturn. Peter was trying to calm down the crowds, before the Romans broke them up.
"You're causing quite a scene. Careful, you might end up between nails and a really hard place, and I don't think you want that." I hissed into Jesus' ear. He turned his head and our eyes locked for a moment.
"That will happen later, and later is another time. For now, the people need the Truth." He whispered gently. How arrogant. "And it appears you are clinging to me for dear life. At this point, can you really deny me?" He asked earnestly. Out of annoyance, I took my arms away from his waist, but began to fall back. Jesus caught my arm and held it in place. I was floored. How dare he! He laughed lightly under his breath.
"Oh, how the mighty have fallen... Don't worry, Heather, I'll forever be the rock that holds you in place." Jesus whispered in a know-it-all voice. God, I've always hated nerds and Jesus was beginning to act like a teacher's pet. He reminded of all those teachers who wouldn't let me listen to my ipod because the just didn't understand the dark poetry of the lyrics. Then, a solemn look fell over Jesus' eyes. He looked troubled. His hand cupped my chin and he looked deeply into my eyes. "Heather, promise me that you'll let the truth be told after I die.... And help Peter, he'll probably need it." Jesus requested mournfully. I rolled my eyes. I was god, why should help such a lowly peasant? The mentally ill don't deserve help.
Jesus then grabbed me and shoved me to the crowd, and I blacked out.
It was Passover Week in Jerusalem, which meant lots and lots of tourists who were just dying to hear some decent music. Since it was a huge festival week full of drunkenness, crime and all sorts of other debauchery, I knew I could get lots of fans. But, I was also deviously happy for other reason. Jesus would be dying before the week was up, and I could finally absorb his powers and take my place as the most important person in history. Green Day was going to be immortal, and they were never gonna die even if death smacked them in their pretty faces. I was laughing so loudly that the window broke in the bathroom, and a loony leper crawled inside, and he was hissing at me. Both of his legs were bloody stumps and he had unnaturally long finger-nails. Suddenly, he lunged towards me, bonking his head on the toilet and dropping to floor. Shrieking, I burst out of the bathroom and threw myself into the group of huddled Jesus fans. No one batted an eyelash at my sudden appearance until the rabid leper ominously crawled out of the bathroom. I threw Peter at the leper as an offering of peace.
Peter started screaming and everyone besides Jesus joined in unison. Billie Joe grabbed a spare guitar and tried to smash down on the head of the leper. Jesus, who was apparently the most calm motherfucker in existence, stood up and slowly strolled over to the leper and placed his hands on him. Out of nowhere, the leprosy was cured and his legs randomly grew back. I suddenly understand why the Bible is a work of fiction, because it was the most unbelivable things to have happened. The leper was sobbing into the robe of Jesus out of gratitude. I rolled my eyes.
"Your new legs suck, I could build better legs than that, asshole!" I muttered darkly under my breath. Non one listened, as usual.
After the leper left, the whole happy group began chatting with J-Christ again. I shook my head in exasperation and retreated into Billie Joe's room. Brushing aside his old records and dildos, I climbed into his fluffy bed and promptly fell asleep. Several hours later, I was rudely awakened by Tre licking my ear and telling me we were at Jerusalem. I groaned.. Great, just what I wanted, more Jesus fans fawning over his dumb face. Slowly, I dragged myself from the safety of Billie Joe's bed and wandered with the group outside into the sweltering sun. The sight awaiting me fucking disturbed me.
A donkey was being led along by Tre. Tre had wasted band funds on a stank-ass donkey. "Look, Jesus, I bought you a fantabulous present!" Tre giggled happily. Jesus smiled and thanked Tre. While he wasn't looking, I socked tre in the shoulders. Billie Joe started telling Jesus that he should ride the donkey into Jerusalem because he was bitchin'. Jesus blushed for a moment; he looked really flattered. "Yeah Jesus, ride dat ass into town!" I shouted evilly. Instead of being mad at me, he smiled.
"If you insist, Heather, then I will. However, why don't you join me?" He purred. Panic settled into my stomach as the disciples cheered and hoisted me onto the big fat donkey beside Jesus. The donkey, which was extremely scared, took off running towards the town gates. I threw my arms around Jesus' waist and held onto dear life. The disciples and Green Day were running after us, almost merrily. I buried my face into J-Christ's robe and wished I could die from embarrassment. Jesus didn't smell half-bad. His scent consisted of cinnamon, spices and some kind of sweet perfume. Such a heavenly smell. Then I realized what I was doing and wrenched my face away from his robes. What the fuck did I just do? Crowds were pressing in on every side, trying to get a glimpse of Jesus or merely touch his robe. I smacked a few of them away. Goddammit, I should just steal his robe and sell it on eBay, I could make millions and buy Saturn. Peter was trying to calm down the crowds, before the Romans broke them up.
"You're causing quite a scene. Careful, you might end up between nails and a really hard place, and I don't think you want that." I hissed into Jesus' ear. He turned his head and our eyes locked for a moment.
"That will happen later, and later is another time. For now, the people need the Truth." He whispered gently. How arrogant. "And it appears you are clinging to me for dear life. At this point, can you really deny me?" He asked earnestly. Out of annoyance, I took my arms away from his waist, but began to fall back. Jesus caught my arm and held it in place. I was floored. How dare he! He laughed lightly under his breath.
"Oh, how the mighty have fallen... Don't worry, Heather, I'll forever be the rock that holds you in place." Jesus whispered in a know-it-all voice. God, I've always hated nerds and Jesus was beginning to act like a teacher's pet. He reminded of all those teachers who wouldn't let me listen to my ipod because the just didn't understand the dark poetry of the lyrics. Then, a solemn look fell over Jesus' eyes. He looked troubled. His hand cupped my chin and he looked deeply into my eyes. "Heather, promise me that you'll let the truth be told after I die.... And help Peter, he'll probably need it." Jesus requested mournfully. I rolled my eyes. I was god, why should help such a lowly peasant? The mentally ill don't deserve help.
Jesus then grabbed me and shoved me to the crowd, and I blacked out.