Obsidian Crosses
The Day the Music Died
I left quickly to inform Billie Joe and the rest of Green Day of my latest brilliant idea. When I found Billie Joe, however, he was slumped over a six-pack of beer, sobbing his pretty little black covered eyes out. He was pounding his fist over and over again on the table. He was the son of Rage and Love though, so I wasn't at all surprised. As I walked closer to him, he perked up his and gazed at me with sad, sad eyes. Oh, if only I could gouge them out and keep them on a jar in the shelf of my heart forever. "Heather, I'm so happy you're here. It's Mike...he's..." Billie Joe gasped before collapsing into a fit of sobs. Mike? Well, of course he was the cause of Billie Joe's anguish. Mike has been holding back Green Day for decades.
Suddenly Mike burst through the door and was carrying a suitcase. He had a look of pure adolescent rage on his face and was violently kicking things. I picked up a beer bottle and chucked it straight at his face. He dodged it and glared at me. "THIS RIGHT HERE is why I'm leaving, BJ. I can't take this anymore. You've helped this inhuman parasite take over the country and you're way too drunk to even know your own name. You've ruined Green Day, you bastard." Mike snarled. Anger swifly began to fill the corners of Billie Joe's pretty eyes. He stood up and eyed Mike ferociously.
"I AM GREEN DAY!" Billie Joe bellowed and tackled Mike, knocking down a few pictures of presidents, some paperwork and the Football in the process. There horrendous fight must have awakened Tre, because he suddenly burst out from behind the couch and started tearing his hair out erratically.
"NOOOOO MIIIIIKE!! YOU CAN'T LEAVE!!" Tre shrieked madly. And then he stripped and began beating Mike over the head with his underwear. Hamsters were crawling out of his pockets in droves. The room was filled with nothing but screams and punches.
It honestly made my head ache. So I did the best thing I could think of. I pulled the fire alarm. The three of them stopped and looked at me as if I was stupid. I unlocked the safe in the middle of the room and grabbed an AK, pointing it straight at them. "Alright, bitches, group therapy is now over! Green Day is NOT breaking up, and if the thought EVER crosses your mind EVER again, I will activate the Football. Got it?" I hissed, speaking mostly to Mike. He rolled his eyes and sighed.
"Green Day does not belong to you, or, Blow Job Billie over here. Just because you're the president does not mean that you own us as property." Mike stated haughtily. So, I shot him in the arm. Then in the leg. And finally, in the shoulder. That will teach him to ever question me. Billie Joe started laughing and then puked everywhere.
"Now that you're done being stupid, Mike, I have a brilliant proposition in mind." I said proudly. Except there was one thing that was nagging at me. What if Billie Joe and the rest of the gang didn't want to become immortal? If I couldn't keep them around forever, then they would eventually stop making records. The thought absolutely terrified me. I decided to lie to them. "We're going to make Green Day world famous again. We're going to take our band all over the Earth as our Good News. We're going to make Jesus Christ himself your number one fan!"
Mike groaned in exasperation, Billie Joe hiccuped and Tre giggled while shoving hamsters in his underwear. "That has got to be the dumbest idea ever." Mike grumbled to himself. "And besides, you hate Jesus and he'd probably hate you too."
I smirked. "Actually, Mike, contrary to your knowledge, J-Christ and I are best bros, y'know. I'm down wit da JC phenomenon." I sneered, imitating a cholo. Then, I pointed my rifle at the group of them and herded them to the tour bus.
It was easy to hook up the tour bus to the presidential watch, and it only caused one fire. And then off we went, traveling through dimensions and space to reach our destination of immortality.
Suddenly Mike burst through the door and was carrying a suitcase. He had a look of pure adolescent rage on his face and was violently kicking things. I picked up a beer bottle and chucked it straight at his face. He dodged it and glared at me. "THIS RIGHT HERE is why I'm leaving, BJ. I can't take this anymore. You've helped this inhuman parasite take over the country and you're way too drunk to even know your own name. You've ruined Green Day, you bastard." Mike snarled. Anger swifly began to fill the corners of Billie Joe's pretty eyes. He stood up and eyed Mike ferociously.
"I AM GREEN DAY!" Billie Joe bellowed and tackled Mike, knocking down a few pictures of presidents, some paperwork and the Football in the process. There horrendous fight must have awakened Tre, because he suddenly burst out from behind the couch and started tearing his hair out erratically.
"NOOOOO MIIIIIKE!! YOU CAN'T LEAVE!!" Tre shrieked madly. And then he stripped and began beating Mike over the head with his underwear. Hamsters were crawling out of his pockets in droves. The room was filled with nothing but screams and punches.
It honestly made my head ache. So I did the best thing I could think of. I pulled the fire alarm. The three of them stopped and looked at me as if I was stupid. I unlocked the safe in the middle of the room and grabbed an AK, pointing it straight at them. "Alright, bitches, group therapy is now over! Green Day is NOT breaking up, and if the thought EVER crosses your mind EVER again, I will activate the Football. Got it?" I hissed, speaking mostly to Mike. He rolled his eyes and sighed.
"Green Day does not belong to you, or, Blow Job Billie over here. Just because you're the president does not mean that you own us as property." Mike stated haughtily. So, I shot him in the arm. Then in the leg. And finally, in the shoulder. That will teach him to ever question me. Billie Joe started laughing and then puked everywhere.
"Now that you're done being stupid, Mike, I have a brilliant proposition in mind." I said proudly. Except there was one thing that was nagging at me. What if Billie Joe and the rest of the gang didn't want to become immortal? If I couldn't keep them around forever, then they would eventually stop making records. The thought absolutely terrified me. I decided to lie to them. "We're going to make Green Day world famous again. We're going to take our band all over the Earth as our Good News. We're going to make Jesus Christ himself your number one fan!"
Mike groaned in exasperation, Billie Joe hiccuped and Tre giggled while shoving hamsters in his underwear. "That has got to be the dumbest idea ever." Mike grumbled to himself. "And besides, you hate Jesus and he'd probably hate you too."
I smirked. "Actually, Mike, contrary to your knowledge, J-Christ and I are best bros, y'know. I'm down wit da JC phenomenon." I sneered, imitating a cholo. Then, I pointed my rifle at the group of them and herded them to the tour bus.
It was easy to hook up the tour bus to the presidential watch, and it only caused one fire. And then off we went, traveling through dimensions and space to reach our destination of immortality.