North Star
dix-sept.
I woke up sweating and shaking, gasping for air. I began to sob, curled into the smallest possible ball I could manage. I tried to be quiet but it only took a few moments for Eric and Ben to find their way into my room. I closed my eyes against the sudden light.
"Avery," Eric whispered. I couldn't respond, or even seem to catch my breath. Ben sat beside me and rubbed my back gently. Eric hung back but I could sense his anxiety. When I managed to gain control of my breathing I sat up.
"I'm sorry I woke you," I apologized.
"How often do you have nightmares like this?" Eric asked. I shrugged.
"Avery?" Ben prompted. I bit my lip.
"I have them every night," I confessed. My brothers exchanged a worried glance.
"Honey, you need to talk to someone about this," Eric told me. I shook my head.
"Avery, we'll get you in to talk to someone who specializes in this sort of situation," Ben promised. "Someone who can really help you." I just kept shaking my head. I didn't want to talk about it.
"Ave, please, do it for me," Eric pleaded. I looked up at my big brother. He had worked so hard to keep us together as a family and to protect me. I sighed.
"Okay," I agreed. "I'll try."
They sat with me for a little while longer, until I laid back down and pulled the covers over myself. I told them I was going to sleep but I doubted that sleep would return. Once they left the room I tossed and turned, only sleeping for a few minutes at a time. Morning came slowly, and the night felt interminable. Finally when it started to grow light outside I got up. The house was still and quiet. The kitchen tile chilled my feet.
I brewed some coffee and poured myself a cup. Then I curled up on the couch. I stared blankly at the television but didn't turn it on. I didn't want to disturb the peacefulness of the morning.
"Happy Thanksgiving," I whispered to myself.
"Avery," Eric whispered. I couldn't respond, or even seem to catch my breath. Ben sat beside me and rubbed my back gently. Eric hung back but I could sense his anxiety. When I managed to gain control of my breathing I sat up.
"I'm sorry I woke you," I apologized.
"How often do you have nightmares like this?" Eric asked. I shrugged.
"Avery?" Ben prompted. I bit my lip.
"I have them every night," I confessed. My brothers exchanged a worried glance.
"Honey, you need to talk to someone about this," Eric told me. I shook my head.
"Avery, we'll get you in to talk to someone who specializes in this sort of situation," Ben promised. "Someone who can really help you." I just kept shaking my head. I didn't want to talk about it.
"Ave, please, do it for me," Eric pleaded. I looked up at my big brother. He had worked so hard to keep us together as a family and to protect me. I sighed.
"Okay," I agreed. "I'll try."
They sat with me for a little while longer, until I laid back down and pulled the covers over myself. I told them I was going to sleep but I doubted that sleep would return. Once they left the room I tossed and turned, only sleeping for a few minutes at a time. Morning came slowly, and the night felt interminable. Finally when it started to grow light outside I got up. The house was still and quiet. The kitchen tile chilled my feet.
I brewed some coffee and poured myself a cup. Then I curled up on the couch. I stared blankly at the television but didn't turn it on. I didn't want to disturb the peacefulness of the morning.
"Happy Thanksgiving," I whispered to myself.