North Star

dix-huit.

I was helping Eric prepare for our Thanksgiving dinner when the doorbell rang. I knew before anyone answered it that it was Ben's family. Eric and I only had each other but with the addition of Ben to our family we'd gained several relatives. I wiped my hands on a towel and went to greet the new arrivals.

"Avery, you're so thin," Bev said, wrapping her arms around me. "Don't they have proper food at that school of yours?" I shrank away from her words. I knew that she'd meant them kindly but they still hurt.

"Hush dear," Dan said. "How are you Avery? How is school?"

"It's going well," I told him. "I've actually applied to graduate this semester."

"What?" Ben and Eric gasped simultaneously.

"You only graduated high school two years ago," Eric pointed out. I shrugged.

"Yes, but I started as a sophomore because of all my AP exams," I reminded him. "I took one extra class each semester and a heavy unit load this semester. It's only six months earlier than I would have graduated anyway."

"That's very impressive young lady," Dan told me. "You must have worked very hard." Ben turned the conversation to his job and the opportunities that had recently arisen for both him and Eric. I slipped back into the kitchen. I hadn't told Eric and Ben that I was so close to graduation. I had intended to but then they started talking about California. I wasn't sure that I wanted to go with them.

"Hey," Ben said softly. More of his relatives had arrived and Eric was greeting all of them in the living room. I turned to my brother-in-law. "Why didn't you tell us you were so close to graduation?" I shrugged.

"Ave, you never tell us anything anymore, not since..." he trailed off. I didn't need him to finish his sentence of course. I knew. "Please talk to us."

"I can't," I whispered. I turned away from him and started bringing the food out to the table. I avoided conversation, just listening to Ben's family, Ben. and Eric talking. I was spacing out when I heard something that caught my attention.

"So, I thought you two were adopting," Bev said. "I haven't heard you mention it in quite awhile though. Hadn't you gotten the green light already?"

"Well we had," Eric answered. "But it hasn't been a good time for us to adopt a baby right now, what with the move and all." I looked at him startled. I hadn't known they had been so close to adoption. Both Ben and Eric were staring at me. Then it hit me. I was the reason they hadn't adopted their baby.