Don't Forget
"Daughter? My..."
Beatrice, John and Rebekah were waiting for Connor in the lobby.They looked clean and well rested. Connor scratched his face where his shadow was becoming a beard. It was crowded with people. Some injured some not.
“Forty extra minutes this time.” John said smiling at him. He put his hand on Connor's shoulder as they headed towards the exit where Beatrice’s old yellow bug in the pick-up drop off section.
“It doesn’t make it any easier.” Connor said scratching the back of his head, “I feel like I can still hear her screaming hours after I leave.”
“Does she really cry everytime?” Rebekah asked. Connor almost didn't hear her over the sounds of the double door opening and people rushing in with someone on a gurney.
“Yeah she does.” Connor sighed.
“Crying’s good for her though.” John said, “Her lungs will get stronger.”
“Yeah you say that when you hear it.” Connor scuffed, “It’s not all bad though, the nurse says she can go home tomorrow.” Connor froze when he realized something, “Where is she going to go?”
“Home... with you?” Beatrice asked looking at him like he’d lost his mind.
“She can’t.” Connor said, “It’s not safe...I don’t have anywhere for her her to sleep.”
“I’m sure your dresser drawer will do fine.” John said. Connor looked at him wide eyes, “Sorry bad joke. Don’t worry about it. I can pick up the crib they got from Mia’s. You probably won’t use it though. It’s easier to just have her in bed with you.”
“She really terrifies you doesn’t she.” Rebekah said.
“I’m not scared of the little monster,” Connor said, “I’m scared of what might happen. What if I roll over in my sleep and crush her?”
“Then she’ll die.”
Connor stumbled, but managed to keep his knees from buckling underneath him.
“Dude,” Beatrice said nudging John.
“Sorry he’s just too easy.” John laughed, “You’re so scared now I doubt you’ll actually sleep once you get her home.”
“You guys are fucking crazy if you think I’m taking her home with me.”
“Didn't you make a deal with Messiah?” Beatrice said, “Something about giving her part of your life in exchange for surviving the hospital ordeal?”
“Time to pay up.” John said playfully punching Connor's shoulder. Connor wasn't smiling. How could he with the dread that was filling him.
“Why can’t you take her?” Connor accused John.
“You said she cries every time you leave?” John said grimacing, “I already did my time in that department. I ain't going back.”
“It’s your grandchild.”
“She’s your daughter.” John’s smile never faltered.
Daughter? My... Connor shook his head Focus Connor...
“What about my parents?” Connor said.
“You’re a man-child visiting for the holidays.” Beatrice rolled her eyes, “I’m sure Sylvia would love time with the baby.”
“Give yourself this Connor.” John said shaking Connor's shoulders, “You've earned it.”
“I really didn't expect Eric to act this way.” Beatrice crossed her arms, “Even he’s started calling you the father.”
“Before you say anything else to protest,” John said, “just think about it.”
So Connor thought about it. My...daughter… Connor could take her home. What ever he didn’t know surely Google could fill him in. Messiah would have a place to sleep. She’d never have to let go again. Mine...My daughter… John’s words echoed in his head, You've earned it…
And Connor had. He spent seventy two hours without sleep until they let him see her in the ICU for all of forty-five minutes before physically forcing him away again. He’d spent the time pretending he wasn't terrified of her and her condition, telling her stories about Mia. It was what he did everytime he visited. The little thing would stare and stare as if to reassure him she was listening, and as long as she was listening she was alive. He’d tell her stories Mia probably didn't even remember, but he did. He’d researched every term the doctors used to describe what was happening with Messiah. He had named her. Their little savior. Mia’s chosen one. Messiah…
“I think he’s on-board enough.” Beatrice said getting in her car, “Let’s go eat.”
“Forty extra minutes this time.” John said smiling at him. He put his hand on Connor's shoulder as they headed towards the exit where Beatrice’s old yellow bug in the pick-up drop off section.
“It doesn’t make it any easier.” Connor said scratching the back of his head, “I feel like I can still hear her screaming hours after I leave.”
“Does she really cry everytime?” Rebekah asked. Connor almost didn't hear her over the sounds of the double door opening and people rushing in with someone on a gurney.
“Yeah she does.” Connor sighed.
“Crying’s good for her though.” John said, “Her lungs will get stronger.”
“Yeah you say that when you hear it.” Connor scuffed, “It’s not all bad though, the nurse says she can go home tomorrow.” Connor froze when he realized something, “Where is she going to go?”
“Home... with you?” Beatrice asked looking at him like he’d lost his mind.
“She can’t.” Connor said, “It’s not safe...I don’t have anywhere for her her to sleep.”
“I’m sure your dresser drawer will do fine.” John said. Connor looked at him wide eyes, “Sorry bad joke. Don’t worry about it. I can pick up the crib they got from Mia’s. You probably won’t use it though. It’s easier to just have her in bed with you.”
“She really terrifies you doesn’t she.” Rebekah said.
“I’m not scared of the little monster,” Connor said, “I’m scared of what might happen. What if I roll over in my sleep and crush her?”
“Then she’ll die.”
Connor stumbled, but managed to keep his knees from buckling underneath him.
“Dude,” Beatrice said nudging John.
“Sorry he’s just too easy.” John laughed, “You’re so scared now I doubt you’ll actually sleep once you get her home.”
“You guys are fucking crazy if you think I’m taking her home with me.”
“Didn't you make a deal with Messiah?” Beatrice said, “Something about giving her part of your life in exchange for surviving the hospital ordeal?”
“Time to pay up.” John said playfully punching Connor's shoulder. Connor wasn't smiling. How could he with the dread that was filling him.
“Why can’t you take her?” Connor accused John.
“You said she cries every time you leave?” John said grimacing, “I already did my time in that department. I ain't going back.”
“It’s your grandchild.”
“She’s your daughter.” John’s smile never faltered.
Daughter? My... Connor shook his head Focus Connor...
“What about my parents?” Connor said.
“You’re a man-child visiting for the holidays.” Beatrice rolled her eyes, “I’m sure Sylvia would love time with the baby.”
“Give yourself this Connor.” John said shaking Connor's shoulders, “You've earned it.”
“I really didn't expect Eric to act this way.” Beatrice crossed her arms, “Even he’s started calling you the father.”
“Before you say anything else to protest,” John said, “just think about it.”
So Connor thought about it. My...daughter… Connor could take her home. What ever he didn’t know surely Google could fill him in. Messiah would have a place to sleep. She’d never have to let go again. Mine...My daughter… John’s words echoed in his head, You've earned it…
And Connor had. He spent seventy two hours without sleep until they let him see her in the ICU for all of forty-five minutes before physically forcing him away again. He’d spent the time pretending he wasn't terrified of her and her condition, telling her stories about Mia. It was what he did everytime he visited. The little thing would stare and stare as if to reassure him she was listening, and as long as she was listening she was alive. He’d tell her stories Mia probably didn't even remember, but he did. He’d researched every term the doctors used to describe what was happening with Messiah. He had named her. Their little savior. Mia’s chosen one. Messiah…
“I think he’s on-board enough.” Beatrice said getting in her car, “Let’s go eat.”