Don't Forget
Someday...
Connor scratched the back of his head. It was the first time they’d spoken technically since she woke up. With the Messiah crisis solved, Connor felt exceedingly uncomfortable with Mia in his messy room.“Is that all you needed?”
“No,” Mia said, “Please don’t leave us tomorrow Connor. We need you.”
Connor shook his head, “I didn’t know you picked up manipulation as well.”
“You left me for ten months with Eric.” Mia snorted, “That kid knows how to make sleeping a manipulative. He does it without thinking.”
“You love him though.” Connor said staring at the baby blanket.
“Yes, I love him, but that’s completely different from what we have.”
“Don’t bullshit me Mia.”
“I’m not bullshitting you it’s the truth.” Mia said, “You never asked me why I chose New York of all places to make my mark. I could have stayed here, married Eric, had my happily ever after.”
“Because I already knew the answer.”
“Fuck you,” Mia said. Messiah fussed at her breast, “ Sorry Messiah,” She said peeking under the blanket. She looked to Connor again in a nicer tone she said, “You don’t know me as well as you think.”
“I wish she was always here when we argued.” Connor laughed, “I like this.” Mia glared at him, “Maybe you’re right,” Connor said still smiling, “but I can’t just sit back and watch you with Eric while I clean Messiah’s shit.” Connor shrugged, “I just don’t think it’s a fair trade.” He stood and went to his room door and opened it.
“So you’re just going to kick me out with your baby still nursing from me.”
“Have you gotten a paternity test?”
Mia pursed her lips, “No,” She answered. Her face softened again, “I saw the birth certificate...I never got to thank you for all that stuff you did.”
“No thanks needed…” Connor said leaning on his door. His chest hurt. He just wanted Mia to leave so that he could go back to trying to feel nothing, “I’m not kicking you out of the house because it’s not my house.” Connor said. He went back to the bed and picked up Mia’s sweat shirt and draped it over her shoulders. He helped her to her feet with Messiah still in her arms, “I am kicking you out of my room. I’m sure now that you know how to sooth her my mom will want a chance to hold her.”
“When are you leaving for New York?”
“Why?”
“You’re not even going to let me see you off.”
“Mia”-
“So this is how it ends then?”
Connor couldn’t look at her, not in her eyes. He’d stared into Messiah’s eyes so long and through so much that now he couldn’t handle it, not without losing his composure. Mia used her hand to move his chin so he had to meet her eyes.
“Be a man.” She said hoarsely, “Say it to my face.”
“What do you want me to say?” Connor whispered.
“Tell me you don’t want me.”
“I don’t want you.”
“Liar.” Mia stood on her tippy toes and their lips met. How could something so sweet hurt so bad? Mia pulled away, “Good by Connor Butler. When you finally get over yourself, you know where to find us.”
And with that she turned and walked down the hall. Connor slammed his door shut again. Leaning his back against it sinking to the floor. He put his head in his hands. He could do this. It was going to be hard, even more painful now without Messiah I never got to see her smile… but he could do this. Messiah would understand when she got older…
“No,” Mia said, “Please don’t leave us tomorrow Connor. We need you.”
Connor shook his head, “I didn’t know you picked up manipulation as well.”
“You left me for ten months with Eric.” Mia snorted, “That kid knows how to make sleeping a manipulative. He does it without thinking.”
“You love him though.” Connor said staring at the baby blanket.
“Yes, I love him, but that’s completely different from what we have.”
“Don’t bullshit me Mia.”
“I’m not bullshitting you it’s the truth.” Mia said, “You never asked me why I chose New York of all places to make my mark. I could have stayed here, married Eric, had my happily ever after.”
“Because I already knew the answer.”
“Fuck you,” Mia said. Messiah fussed at her breast, “ Sorry Messiah,” She said peeking under the blanket. She looked to Connor again in a nicer tone she said, “You don’t know me as well as you think.”
“I wish she was always here when we argued.” Connor laughed, “I like this.” Mia glared at him, “Maybe you’re right,” Connor said still smiling, “but I can’t just sit back and watch you with Eric while I clean Messiah’s shit.” Connor shrugged, “I just don’t think it’s a fair trade.” He stood and went to his room door and opened it.
“So you’re just going to kick me out with your baby still nursing from me.”
“Have you gotten a paternity test?”
Mia pursed her lips, “No,” She answered. Her face softened again, “I saw the birth certificate...I never got to thank you for all that stuff you did.”
“No thanks needed…” Connor said leaning on his door. His chest hurt. He just wanted Mia to leave so that he could go back to trying to feel nothing, “I’m not kicking you out of the house because it’s not my house.” Connor said. He went back to the bed and picked up Mia’s sweat shirt and draped it over her shoulders. He helped her to her feet with Messiah still in her arms, “I am kicking you out of my room. I’m sure now that you know how to sooth her my mom will want a chance to hold her.”
“When are you leaving for New York?”
“Why?”
“You’re not even going to let me see you off.”
“Mia”-
“So this is how it ends then?”
Connor couldn’t look at her, not in her eyes. He’d stared into Messiah’s eyes so long and through so much that now he couldn’t handle it, not without losing his composure. Mia used her hand to move his chin so he had to meet her eyes.
“Be a man.” She said hoarsely, “Say it to my face.”
“What do you want me to say?” Connor whispered.
“Tell me you don’t want me.”
“I don’t want you.”
“Liar.” Mia stood on her tippy toes and their lips met. How could something so sweet hurt so bad? Mia pulled away, “Good by Connor Butler. When you finally get over yourself, you know where to find us.”
And with that she turned and walked down the hall. Connor slammed his door shut again. Leaning his back against it sinking to the floor. He put his head in his hands. He could do this. It was going to be hard, even more painful now without Messiah I never got to see her smile… but he could do this. Messiah would understand when she got older…