Psychotic craze
Unstoppable tears
After the lecture I had received about being responsible and not wandering off with people I may or may not trust at night without telling my mother first, I fell asleep pretty quick feeling exhausted from my long day.
The next morning was dismal, I grimaced seeing the light grey clouds creating a dull overcast and got ready for school with no determination or motivation to go to school today. I was hoping the stares and whispers would be on someone else today, perhaps someone with a new tattoo or someone with a really bad haircut - anyone but me. I could already tell it would not be such a good day for me, the phrase you got out of the wrong side of the bed could definitely be applied today. Worthless little mistakes such as dropping my hairbrush or getting shampoo in my eye were the biggest winds up right now. I found myself huffing and puffing at the smallest things, if I could pull my hair out right now and not regret it – I would.
I sat silent in the car as Daniel hummed along to something and I peered out of the window as some light rain started to patter on the windscreen.
“Oh yuck, rain.” Daniel also frowned.
“I hate it when it’s warm but rainy.” He added sending me a sideways glance and then he let out a small laugh as the car slowed approaching the school.
“What?” I asked trying to sound nonchalant.
“I don’t know much about the way girls wear their hair, but I’m assuming the little additions to yours weren’t of your own accord?” He finished as he parked.
I narrowed my eyes into the little mirror and growled lightly tearing the leaves out of my hair, now usually this would have made me laugh.
“Looks like someone got out on the wrong side of the bed this morning.” He grinned. I stormed out of the car and slammed the door as hard as I could, he was right, today I would be the grumpiest of all. I heard his footsteps make an effort to catch up to me and he shook his head lazily.
“What’s up?”
I wish I knew.
“Nothing, I’m just being weird – forget it.” I tried to brush it off but he stopped me lightly by the hand in front of the main doors which now had students pouring into it as the bell rang loudly.
“Is this – about dad?” He asked softly.
”What?” I asked shocked.
“No – of course not!” I exclaimed rolling my eyes and then I quickly pushed my way through the crowd so Daniel couldn’t read my expression. I didn’t need sympathy; I just needed to get through this on my own. I missed him more and more each day and last night he was in my dream, just standing there but I couldn’t quite see his face but I knew it was him. He was out of reach and I really wanted to get to him, my struggle in the dream had irritated me to the point where I wanted to scream.
The day was going by slow, the rain had stopped and the sun decided to come out for a while, I sat slumped in my chair trying to lighten my mood.
He was gone now. I had to accept that, but I just couldn’t let go, letting go of him was to let go of the past 16 years, I was terrified of losing the memories and forgetting what he was like or what he looked like even! I sighed deeply as the teacher walked into the class and 2 hours of Psychology started, just as she was about to shut the door, Alec sprang through it looking tired and out of breath.
“Mr Kent, you’re lucky today but next time be on time!” She sneered taking out some textbooks. Alec shook his hair as wet raindrop crystals gleamed against the blonde. He walked over and plopped down into the seat next to me.
“Looks like you’re having good luck!” He smirked shaking his hair again; I scooted out of the way as little spots of water fell on me.
The next two hours were a combination of some interesting facts and some hideously boring studies, I tried not to laugh as Alec’s face fell onto his arms and light snores started to come from him, the rest of the class giggled and grinned. I saw the teacher glance over at Alec countless times, her nostrils flaring and her eyes narrowing – I was sure she was trying so hard to keep her cool.
“So, that covers conformity, we will be moving onto obedience next, so read chapter 3 for homework.” The teacher spoke loudly as I glanced at the clock; we still had 10 minutes left.
“Now, I want to start off obedience since we have time.”
A series of groans and growls erupted from the room but the room silenced at once when she clapped her hands impatiently.
“So, I want to ask you all in turn, who do you obey more, your mother or your father or perhaps it’s someone different altogether?” She looked to a girl sitting up straight on the front row.
“I obey both of my parents equally.”
“And why is that?”
“Because they both love me equally.”
Oh please.
She went around the class and surprisingly enough received one word answers and shrugs, she then came to Alec.
“I obey my mom more.”
“And why is that?”
“Simple – she changed my diapers.” He grinned and the whole class burst into laughter, I suppressed the urge to laugh as the teacher’s eyes were now on me, I felt a huge lump rise in my throat. My eyes quickly shifted to the clock where there were just 15 seconds left until the bell would ring out loudly saving me from her insisting stare.
“She has no choice but to obey her mother now.” Someone sniggered from the back of the room, everything froze around of me, my eyes were suddenly burning with tears and my breath caught in my throat. I fixed my stare on the folder below me to avoid looking at anyone as my cheeks flushed a light red out of anger. The bell rang loudly and a series of shuffling and moving began, I saw Alec turn around from the corner of my eyes and shout something.
“Not so fast Alec, I need to talk to you about your sleeping habits.” I heard the teacher say. I grabbed my books and didn’t bother shoving them into my bag, springing from my chair I ran from the room and into the crowded hallway. My eyes were stinging now and I knew what was coming, something I needed to get out – something that had chosen the wrong time to get out! I tried to keep my emotions under check, I didn’t want explode into tears in front of these people.
I sniffed twice trying to pull everything back in, but my eyes only swam with tears even more as I approached my locker, I knew once the first tear over spilled then a huge waterfall would follow. It was lunch now and then I had 2 hours of calculus again, I didn’t want to be coming back through this hallway so I grabbed the relevant books and slammed my locker shut. In my haste to get out of the hallway, I began walking at a fast pace towards the doors, keeping my eyes down as much as possible and trying to keep my breath under control. I felt like a heavy weight was pressing down onto my chest, the pressure was building up and I wanted to let it all out – anywhere but here.
I kept my head down watching masses of shoes walk my way and pass me and then my shoulder collided with something hard and sent me spinning sideways, the books slipped from my hand and hit the ground with a thud. I let my hair fall over my face concealing my expression as I bent down quickly to scoop up all of my books.
“Oops, sorry!” I heard a familiar voice sound laughing a little.
“I was running, didn’t see you there.” Toby said casually, I saw him grab one of the books to give to me and I tried to look as nonchalant as possible.
I blinked once trying to clear my vision but that blink did the opposite, the tiny motion sent the tears flying out of my eyes and down my cheeks, I tried to hide my face but Toby gasped as we both got up.
“Alison? What’s wrong? What happened?” He asked frantically as I looked around for an escape route, ignoring him, I rudely pushed past a group of people and ran towards the door.
I needed to get through this on my own.
The next morning was dismal, I grimaced seeing the light grey clouds creating a dull overcast and got ready for school with no determination or motivation to go to school today. I was hoping the stares and whispers would be on someone else today, perhaps someone with a new tattoo or someone with a really bad haircut - anyone but me. I could already tell it would not be such a good day for me, the phrase you got out of the wrong side of the bed could definitely be applied today. Worthless little mistakes such as dropping my hairbrush or getting shampoo in my eye were the biggest winds up right now. I found myself huffing and puffing at the smallest things, if I could pull my hair out right now and not regret it – I would.
I sat silent in the car as Daniel hummed along to something and I peered out of the window as some light rain started to patter on the windscreen.
“Oh yuck, rain.” Daniel also frowned.
“I hate it when it’s warm but rainy.” He added sending me a sideways glance and then he let out a small laugh as the car slowed approaching the school.
“What?” I asked trying to sound nonchalant.
“I don’t know much about the way girls wear their hair, but I’m assuming the little additions to yours weren’t of your own accord?” He finished as he parked.
I narrowed my eyes into the little mirror and growled lightly tearing the leaves out of my hair, now usually this would have made me laugh.
“Looks like someone got out on the wrong side of the bed this morning.” He grinned. I stormed out of the car and slammed the door as hard as I could, he was right, today I would be the grumpiest of all. I heard his footsteps make an effort to catch up to me and he shook his head lazily.
“What’s up?”
I wish I knew.
“Nothing, I’m just being weird – forget it.” I tried to brush it off but he stopped me lightly by the hand in front of the main doors which now had students pouring into it as the bell rang loudly.
“Is this – about dad?” He asked softly.
”What?” I asked shocked.
“No – of course not!” I exclaimed rolling my eyes and then I quickly pushed my way through the crowd so Daniel couldn’t read my expression. I didn’t need sympathy; I just needed to get through this on my own. I missed him more and more each day and last night he was in my dream, just standing there but I couldn’t quite see his face but I knew it was him. He was out of reach and I really wanted to get to him, my struggle in the dream had irritated me to the point where I wanted to scream.
The day was going by slow, the rain had stopped and the sun decided to come out for a while, I sat slumped in my chair trying to lighten my mood.
He was gone now. I had to accept that, but I just couldn’t let go, letting go of him was to let go of the past 16 years, I was terrified of losing the memories and forgetting what he was like or what he looked like even! I sighed deeply as the teacher walked into the class and 2 hours of Psychology started, just as she was about to shut the door, Alec sprang through it looking tired and out of breath.
“Mr Kent, you’re lucky today but next time be on time!” She sneered taking out some textbooks. Alec shook his hair as wet raindrop crystals gleamed against the blonde. He walked over and plopped down into the seat next to me.
“Looks like you’re having good luck!” He smirked shaking his hair again; I scooted out of the way as little spots of water fell on me.
The next two hours were a combination of some interesting facts and some hideously boring studies, I tried not to laugh as Alec’s face fell onto his arms and light snores started to come from him, the rest of the class giggled and grinned. I saw the teacher glance over at Alec countless times, her nostrils flaring and her eyes narrowing – I was sure she was trying so hard to keep her cool.
“So, that covers conformity, we will be moving onto obedience next, so read chapter 3 for homework.” The teacher spoke loudly as I glanced at the clock; we still had 10 minutes left.
“Now, I want to start off obedience since we have time.”
A series of groans and growls erupted from the room but the room silenced at once when she clapped her hands impatiently.
“So, I want to ask you all in turn, who do you obey more, your mother or your father or perhaps it’s someone different altogether?” She looked to a girl sitting up straight on the front row.
“I obey both of my parents equally.”
“And why is that?”
“Because they both love me equally.”
Oh please.
She went around the class and surprisingly enough received one word answers and shrugs, she then came to Alec.
“I obey my mom more.”
“And why is that?”
“Simple – she changed my diapers.” He grinned and the whole class burst into laughter, I suppressed the urge to laugh as the teacher’s eyes were now on me, I felt a huge lump rise in my throat. My eyes quickly shifted to the clock where there were just 15 seconds left until the bell would ring out loudly saving me from her insisting stare.
“She has no choice but to obey her mother now.” Someone sniggered from the back of the room, everything froze around of me, my eyes were suddenly burning with tears and my breath caught in my throat. I fixed my stare on the folder below me to avoid looking at anyone as my cheeks flushed a light red out of anger. The bell rang loudly and a series of shuffling and moving began, I saw Alec turn around from the corner of my eyes and shout something.
“Not so fast Alec, I need to talk to you about your sleeping habits.” I heard the teacher say. I grabbed my books and didn’t bother shoving them into my bag, springing from my chair I ran from the room and into the crowded hallway. My eyes were stinging now and I knew what was coming, something I needed to get out – something that had chosen the wrong time to get out! I tried to keep my emotions under check, I didn’t want explode into tears in front of these people.
I sniffed twice trying to pull everything back in, but my eyes only swam with tears even more as I approached my locker, I knew once the first tear over spilled then a huge waterfall would follow. It was lunch now and then I had 2 hours of calculus again, I didn’t want to be coming back through this hallway so I grabbed the relevant books and slammed my locker shut. In my haste to get out of the hallway, I began walking at a fast pace towards the doors, keeping my eyes down as much as possible and trying to keep my breath under control. I felt like a heavy weight was pressing down onto my chest, the pressure was building up and I wanted to let it all out – anywhere but here.
I kept my head down watching masses of shoes walk my way and pass me and then my shoulder collided with something hard and sent me spinning sideways, the books slipped from my hand and hit the ground with a thud. I let my hair fall over my face concealing my expression as I bent down quickly to scoop up all of my books.
“Oops, sorry!” I heard a familiar voice sound laughing a little.
“I was running, didn’t see you there.” Toby said casually, I saw him grab one of the books to give to me and I tried to look as nonchalant as possible.
I blinked once trying to clear my vision but that blink did the opposite, the tiny motion sent the tears flying out of my eyes and down my cheeks, I tried to hide my face but Toby gasped as we both got up.
“Alison? What’s wrong? What happened?” He asked frantically as I looked around for an escape route, ignoring him, I rudely pushed past a group of people and ran towards the door.
I needed to get through this on my own.