Status: I'm trying, don't hate me
Let Me Be Free.
Deep Down He Wasn't Happy
Alex was 14 when he finally did something for himself.
His parents were away for the weekend, so he took the money they left him and went shopping.
It was difficult. He got some weird looks, some disgusted looks, many confused looks. But he did it. Even if he did say he was buying for his girlfriend.
That hurt him.
The fact that he had to hide.
The 14 year old returned home with a simple, yet beautiful black dress, lipstick, mascara and a light pink blush.
As soon as Alex got into his room, he took off his tshirt and jeans and slipped into the dress, it was perfect, albeit almost three sizes too long and slightly baggy around his torso, but Alex wanted to keep it for a while.
It had a lacy bodice that tucked in at the waist and then flared out into a plain skater skirt, Alex felt beautiful already. He ran to his bathroom and carefully applied the mascara, blush and lipstick, actually admiring his own reflection for once before grabbing his phone and ringing his best friend,
'Hey Lexy, are you okay?' Lisa answered and Alex giggled,
'I feel beautiful Lisa.' he said happily and she asked what the hell was going on, so he told her to come round.
Lisa cried when she saw Alex. Cried her heart out because her best friend was happy.
But deep down he wasn't happy.
Alex is nearly 19 now. Still forced to act like a boy even though he no longer lives with his parents.
His black dress is his pride and joy, he still wears it whenever he can and it still fits like a dream. The dress makes Alex happy even though he is not.
Deep down he wasn't happy.
Alex has a boyfriend now. His name is Jack and he's perfect. Jack is in love with Alex. Completely and utterly madly in love with him. And Alex is in love with Jack. Everyone tells them how perfect they are for each other, and it's true, they really are a perfect couple. Anyone can see that. And Alex is grateful for that, because Jack keeps him sane and happy enough to get through th day. But he doesn't know Alex's secret. Not yet at least.
Deep down he wasn't happy.
---
'Hi beautiful.' Jack whispers, kissing Alex's cheek,
'Shut up, I'm not beautiful.' Alex mumbles and Jack sighs, this happens every time he compliments Alex,
'You need to have some confidence in yourself babe.' he says softly, wrapping his arms around Alex's waist and pulling him flush against his chest, 'I love you.' the younger says, kissing Alex's silky smooth jawline, he swears to god the boy waxes his facial hair,
'I love you too.' he whispers and Jack smiles against his neck,
'I love you more Lexy.' he mumbles and Alex can't help but smile wide, he loves when Jack calls him that. It makes him feel girly and pretty. He's always loved the name Lexy.
'Let me go love, I'm gonna go make dinner.' Alex whispers and Jack nods, letting go of his boyfriend, but not before kissing him softly on the lips.
-
It's later that evening when Jack notices something is up. Alex is often quiet, but not like this.
'Baby, what's wrong?' He asks Alex, pressing his lips to the elders cheek,
'Nothing.' Alex mumbles and Jack sighs,
'Lexy, I know you too well.' he says softly, pulling his boyfriend into his lap so Alex's knees are either side of Jack's hips, 'You can talk to me.' he whispers and Alex just leans forward and connects their lips.
The only way he knows he can distract Jack easily.
The kiss grows extremely heated and Jack finds his hand rested on Alex's growing bulge, he squeezes lightly and Alex moans but knocks Jack's hand away,
'I don't feel comfortable using that.' He mumbles, blushing,
'Babe, what?' Jack sighs,
'I don't want to use it Jack.' Alex mutters, a light blush colouring his cheeks, Alex always blushes so easily,
'Your dick? We kinda always use your dick. I love your dick.' Jack chuckles, utterly confused,
'Well I don't.' Alex sighs, 'I hate it.' He adds,
'Babe whats going on?' Jack says, concern written into his features,
'Nothing.' Alex whimpers before his walls come crashing down, everything just breaks around him. He cant do this.
Alex quickly gets off Jack's lap and runs off to their bedroom, heart wrenching sobs tearing through his throat, the most painful thing to ever reach Jack's ears. Alex cries quite a bit. More than Jack thought was normal if he was honest, but he didn't judge Alex, just held him. But now he is sobbing and screaming and Jack's never heard anything so heart breaking.
'Alex?!' Jack cries, running after him, but Alex has locked their bedroom door, preventing his boyfriend from comforting in, but Jack can hear him sobbing. He hates it. He loves that boy, he can't stand the thought of him being sad. Especially not like this.
Deep down he wasn't happy.
His parents were away for the weekend, so he took the money they left him and went shopping.
It was difficult. He got some weird looks, some disgusted looks, many confused looks. But he did it. Even if he did say he was buying for his girlfriend.
That hurt him.
The fact that he had to hide.
The 14 year old returned home with a simple, yet beautiful black dress, lipstick, mascara and a light pink blush.
As soon as Alex got into his room, he took off his tshirt and jeans and slipped into the dress, it was perfect, albeit almost three sizes too long and slightly baggy around his torso, but Alex wanted to keep it for a while.
It had a lacy bodice that tucked in at the waist and then flared out into a plain skater skirt, Alex felt beautiful already. He ran to his bathroom and carefully applied the mascara, blush and lipstick, actually admiring his own reflection for once before grabbing his phone and ringing his best friend,
'Hey Lexy, are you okay?' Lisa answered and Alex giggled,
'I feel beautiful Lisa.' he said happily and she asked what the hell was going on, so he told her to come round.
Lisa cried when she saw Alex. Cried her heart out because her best friend was happy.
But deep down he wasn't happy.
Alex is nearly 19 now. Still forced to act like a boy even though he no longer lives with his parents.
His black dress is his pride and joy, he still wears it whenever he can and it still fits like a dream. The dress makes Alex happy even though he is not.
Deep down he wasn't happy.
Alex has a boyfriend now. His name is Jack and he's perfect. Jack is in love with Alex. Completely and utterly madly in love with him. And Alex is in love with Jack. Everyone tells them how perfect they are for each other, and it's true, they really are a perfect couple. Anyone can see that. And Alex is grateful for that, because Jack keeps him sane and happy enough to get through th day. But he doesn't know Alex's secret. Not yet at least.
Deep down he wasn't happy.
---
'Hi beautiful.' Jack whispers, kissing Alex's cheek,
'Shut up, I'm not beautiful.' Alex mumbles and Jack sighs, this happens every time he compliments Alex,
'You need to have some confidence in yourself babe.' he says softly, wrapping his arms around Alex's waist and pulling him flush against his chest, 'I love you.' the younger says, kissing Alex's silky smooth jawline, he swears to god the boy waxes his facial hair,
'I love you too.' he whispers and Jack smiles against his neck,
'I love you more Lexy.' he mumbles and Alex can't help but smile wide, he loves when Jack calls him that. It makes him feel girly and pretty. He's always loved the name Lexy.
'Let me go love, I'm gonna go make dinner.' Alex whispers and Jack nods, letting go of his boyfriend, but not before kissing him softly on the lips.
-
It's later that evening when Jack notices something is up. Alex is often quiet, but not like this.
'Baby, what's wrong?' He asks Alex, pressing his lips to the elders cheek,
'Nothing.' Alex mumbles and Jack sighs,
'Lexy, I know you too well.' he says softly, pulling his boyfriend into his lap so Alex's knees are either side of Jack's hips, 'You can talk to me.' he whispers and Alex just leans forward and connects their lips.
The only way he knows he can distract Jack easily.
The kiss grows extremely heated and Jack finds his hand rested on Alex's growing bulge, he squeezes lightly and Alex moans but knocks Jack's hand away,
'I don't feel comfortable using that.' He mumbles, blushing,
'Babe, what?' Jack sighs,
'I don't want to use it Jack.' Alex mutters, a light blush colouring his cheeks, Alex always blushes so easily,
'Your dick? We kinda always use your dick. I love your dick.' Jack chuckles, utterly confused,
'Well I don't.' Alex sighs, 'I hate it.' He adds,
'Babe whats going on?' Jack says, concern written into his features,
'Nothing.' Alex whimpers before his walls come crashing down, everything just breaks around him. He cant do this.
Alex quickly gets off Jack's lap and runs off to their bedroom, heart wrenching sobs tearing through his throat, the most painful thing to ever reach Jack's ears. Alex cries quite a bit. More than Jack thought was normal if he was honest, but he didn't judge Alex, just held him. But now he is sobbing and screaming and Jack's never heard anything so heart breaking.
'Alex?!' Jack cries, running after him, but Alex has locked their bedroom door, preventing his boyfriend from comforting in, but Jack can hear him sobbing. He hates it. He loves that boy, he can't stand the thought of him being sad. Especially not like this.
Deep down he wasn't happy.