I'm on a sentimental journey, of no return or looking back
Part 1
"I told you already that I'm leaving. I've had the flights booked for two fucking months," I yelled at my mother, "is it only just dawning on you now that I'm going?"
"I told you, you aren't leaving! You're staying here and you're finishing school." She yelled back.
It was always like this, she cared more about me getting through school, with good grades, and setting a good example for Cahir, Katie and Hannah, than having a good life. Well, according to her she couldn't leave Colm to set a good example, he'd walked out of school at 16 and was now either unemployed or labouring, whichever took his fancy at that particular time. I knew in my heart that what I needed wasn't in Ireland. I had tried to be interested in school, but it just wasn't going to work. I was leaving for America in 2 days, and I was ready. My parents on the other hand, had gone along with it, truly believing that this, like a lot of other things in my past, was just a phase, and that I wouldn't go through with it.
"Listen, I've written down my address in Florida, and if you want get Cahir to e-mail me so I can get you the other addresses as I move." I replied.
"Martin, you talk to her, she can't go. She has to finish school. What example is it setting for the other three? That they can leave school at 17 and everything will be alright?" my mother, Bridie, yelled at my dad. He usually tried to do what was best for me, but this time he wasn't sure, and I could see it in his face.
I'll try to explain, when I was four I found out that I was adopted, yes I admit it is a little young, and as I grew older, and Bridie had children of her own, I saw the cracks. Colm is adopted too, but I was the only one to be treated differently, they still treated him like their own, I didn't know why. But with me, the fights started at 14, and I was feeling like an outsider in the family, that I didn't belong.
"I don't know what to do this time Bridie," it was looking good for me, I didn't need their permission, but I would prefer to have it. "Breffni is 17, and is an adult, who is capable of making her own decisions. Can you not tell that from her moving to Avril's on her 17th birthday?"
It was true, Avril was my cousin, who I'd been living with on and off since I was 15, when I started to work for her husband, and on my 17th birthday I had had enough, and moved out, permanently.
"Thanks for trying to make her see sense dad, I have to go now, I'll be leaving on Tuesday and tell Hannah I'll phone her later on in the week" I hated goodbyes, especially with Hannah, she was only little and I would miss her the most. "Bye then" I said, sliding the kitchen door open and walked down the path to my car.
"Yeah, well if you leave now, never come back, I never want to see you back in this house again" Bridie yelled from the kitchen door. For once, I decided to leave it, even though I really wanted to yell 'I thought you said it was yes, not yeah' and continued to open the door of my car and drove off. She had wanted me out of her house and out of her life for a long time, and within the space of 7 months, she got both.
Pulling into the drive, I noticed that there were more cars than usual parked at the house. I thought nothing of it and walked inside, "strange" I said quietly to myself, noticing the lack of people, and the lack of noise. I was curious now, and checked upstairs, and the living room, but found no-one. "They must have gone out" I said to myself, "stop talking to yourself Breffni, it's the first sign of madness" I added smiling at my own joke, and I walked into the kitchen to get a drink. As I walked over to the fridge I heard faint whispers coming from the snooker room so I thought I'd check it out. I pushed the door to see what...
"SURPRISE!"
"AAARGH"
I nearly keeled over then and there. Avril came over and put a party hat on my head, and gave me a hug.
"Jesus, I took you long enough to find us," she smirked, "you must've been terrible at hide and seek"
I looked around the room to see all my friends, and some family, laughing and joking with each other. "This is wonderful" I said to Avril, with tears in my eyes, "I really wasn't expecting anything, but this is great."
"Least we could do." Mark said handing me a drink. I loved them all so much at that moment.
The party was great. We all talked, danced, drank, ate, mingled, and I got a cactus called Bob from Oonagh. It was amazing, just what I needed. About 4. 30, people started leaving, Carl and Carol shared a taxi with Joanne and Mosy, as they all had to get up for work at 8. "Weee're gona missss you Breffereres" Carl slurred, as he hugged me on the way past. "Here have this, it's a wee goin away pressie from alla us" I turned around and Jo thrust an envelope in my hand before hugging me also, and then the four of them left. I was going to miss working with them, the craic was always so good.
The next morning I awoke on the floor of a random room to see a mass of sleepin/passed-out bodies around me. I mustn't have even made it to my bed. I grinned to see who were lying near me, Jason and Ryan. 'Interesting' I thought, and giggled quietly as I placed Jason's hand on Ryan's crotch and Ryan's hand on Jason's ass. When that was done, I struggled to find my way to the kitchen, took some painkillers for the killer headache I was going to have as soon as my brain switched itself on and clicked the kettle on. I made myself a cup of tea, and sat at the table to think.
"Hey" I didn't see who had walked in, tears welled in my eyes. "What's wrong?" I looked up to see Mark standing over me.
"Oh, nothing" I sighed, "just thinking about things. How I'm gonna miss you all, mostly." He sat down beside me.
"Don't worry, let us know when your settled and we'll come over to visit you. You know how much I love holidays." He laughed. He was sweet, trying to make me laugh, but it wasn't working this time. "You know... " he started, flicking the ash from his cigarette into the ashtray, "I don't think we'll find a worker like you anywhere... "
I laughed, breaking his concentration.
"What?" Mark looked surprised at my outburst.
"Now I know you're trying to cheer me up. You'll find a better replacement in no time"
We sat in silence for a few minutes, I finished my tea. Then an idea came to me. "Close your ears, I'll be back in a minute." I whispered as I ran from the room, with a devilish grin across my face. And a few minutes later Mark knew why...
"Turn that fucking piece of shit alarm off" came from one room, while everyone began to stir, actually believing the house was on fire. "Mwa ha ha ha ha" I shouted as people emerged onto the landing from various rooms, to see me standing on a chair with my finger on the smoke detector tester button.
"Look out!" shouted Caoimhe and Natasha in unison, but it was too late. Simon, coming from god knows what room, tackled me and pinned me to the floor.
"Okay, I've had my fun, get off me, I'm done, I swear," I shouted as Simon began to let me up. "For those about to throw up, the bathroom's there, those with hangovers" I said to everyone, "kitchen, we have painkillers." I smiled and walked down the stairs.
We all sat round for a while, recovering a little, I could see that Simon couldn't trust me, which was kind of funny. As everyone left, now sober enough to drive, I got hugs and kisses from all of them. I smirked as I noticed Jason and Ryan couldn't look at each other.
"So, what are you going to do today? Recover? Pack? Or just generally get ready?" Avril asked as I walked back into the living room. "probably gonna finish packing and I might take a drive to Moville to say goodbye to granny and granda McLaughlin and stop at the grave on the way back up to say goodbye to granny and granda Breslin." I replied.
"Just don't forget that man is coming today to take the car. Do you want me to deal with that?" I nodded in reply. I had had to sell my car to have a little money to bring with me.
When I came back, I finished packing my things, essentials only, put my stuff into Mark's jeep, and about 9:30, went to bed, telling Mark on the way past that he should too, if he's going to be able to get up.
At 4:30, the alarm went off, and I got up, showered, dressed, woke Mark and finally went downstairs to get breakfast. He stumbled down the stairs fifteen minutes later scruffily dressed, with clothes he'd obviously grabbed from the floor, with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, and began searching for a lighter. For someone who is quite a heavy smoker, and always stealing everyone else's lighter, he never had one handy. I smiled and handed him mine.
By 5:15 we were on the road, headed for Dublin. I knew I would be early for checking in, but I had to leave before other people got up, as I said before, I can't stand goodbyes.
I took one last look down at the Emerald Isle as the plane ascended, I didn't know when or even if I would be back again. I ordered a drink, downed it and went to sleep. I don't usually mind flying, bit this one would be excruciating, thinking of all the people that I loved, and was leaving behind.
*
Two months later, I was living in an ugly, cramped apartment, barely surviving on my shit wages from a crap job I didn't enjoy, vowing not to touch my savings cause I would need them if I want to move on. "Fucking piece of shit" I yelled at the TV, missing Irish channels and Irish TV shows, and threw the remote, missing the screen by millimetres. "Fuck!" I yelled. I missed Ireland dreadfully, and all my friends but told myself I would make it work. I drowned my sorrows on the half full bottle of cheap vodka, and passed out on my lumpy sofa bed, alone, again. The next day, August 31st, I walked down to the cyber-café and sent a 'happy birthday' e-mail to Hannah, asking if she got the present I sent her, I was sure Cahir would show her the message for me. I sent a few more e-mails before opening the message entitled 'good luck' from my best friend Clare. I knew what was in it... My AS level exam results. I opened it, waiting what seemed like forever for it to load up. "Yes!" I shouted, a little too loudly. Noticing people staring, I apologized and went on with reading the message... It read,
"Hi Breffni, hope your having a better time since the last time we spoke. Has that piece of shit boss fired you yet? :D only kidding, anyway, down to business, you got:
Tech A
Geography A
Biology B
Chemistry A
Hope you're happy with your results, I got 4 A's and was allowed to drop chemistry, let me know how you're doing, lotsa luv Clare xx"
Well, how could I not be happy? 3 A's and a B, I was ecstatic. I sent a final e-mail to Avril to let her know how I'd done and left the café. I was only 15minutes late for work, but as Clare had predicted, my 'piece of shit boss' fired me. On the way back to my apartment I stopped in at the café again, and booked a flight to California, went home, packed and informed my landlord. It was time to move on, and nothing was keeping me here.
*
I got off the plane, collected my bags and walked outside. 'This is more like it' I thought to myself as I stepped out into the warm autumn sunshine. It just felt right. I jumped into the nearest cab and was off.
"Where to, love?" asked the cabby, I later found out his name was Jimmy.
"I don't know," I replied, then saying the first thing that came into my head, I answered "Berkeley"
We chatted the whole journey, and by the time I arrived, Jimmy knew my life story, and I knew his. I paid him, said goodbye, and got out of the cab. He had dropped me off in front of a hostel, as I needed somewhere to stay while I got a place of my own sorted. This time I was going to take it slowly, and get a place I actually liked. I didn't have to wait long, 2 days later I found a nice 1 bedroom flat, in a good area, close to everywhere. A few days later I landed myself a job in a bar, with lovely people, and the pay wasn't that bad either. My life was looking up, although I was getting less messages waiting for me when I checked my e-mails, but that was to be expected, all my friends were starting into their final year of school, I say final year, but most of them will probably go to university. I made some new friends at the bar, Laura was great, she helped me get settled in and showed me all the 'hotspots' of the town.
At Halloween, Avril, Mark, and Hannah came over to visit for a few days and we had a blast. I loved catching up with them but before long their holiday was over, and they had to go. Bridie had only agreed to let Hannah go if she was back in time for school, lucky her.
I began to get a little depressed after they left. Laura tried to make me feel better, but in a way, wasn't helping that much. It wasn't her fault, she had met a guy and that was great, but without realising it didn't help, she brought him with her every time she came to see me. They were at the point of their relationship where they were inseparable, and every time I saw them together, it made me sad as I thought about Jason, who I had broken up with before leaving, claiming that a long-distance relationship would never work. I put on a front at work, with the punters, I laughed and joked through my shifts, not letting my personal life get in the way, which in a way helped, as it allowed me to cheer up again.
On the 21st, I turned 18 and instead of celebrating, I was working, I didn't mind though, and no-one else knew because I hadn't told them. I didn't want a big fuss this year, I would have missed everyone back home too much if I had celebrated. Instead, I planned to have a good night at work. I was only down to work the night shift, so during the day I just sat around, read all my 'Happy Birthday' e-mails from Ireland, and opened my mail, which mostly consisted of cards and presents. At 5:30 I got showered and put on my skinny jeans, black shoes, and the black fitted shirt with the bar's name on the back and mine on the right breast pocket, and left for work.
The night started off quiet, which was usual for a Tuesday night. It was fun. I talked to the regulars and was generally kept busy. At 11. 30 the bar started to clear, and only three people were left, a couple in the corner who really needed to get a room, and a man, who I had noticed came in around nine. He was sat at the bar on a stool, staring into his pint, so after clearing some tables and wiping around, I went behind the bar and walked over to him.
"You shouldn't do that you know, they probably won't be in there" I said with a smirk.
"What won't?" he said quite glumly, drinking the last drop.
"The answer to all your problems." I replied. That line usually made people either smile, or talk, or occasionally, cry. "Want another?" I asked, already knowing the answer.
"Yeah, why not." He replied with a smile. "And one for yourself"
Passing him his pint, I poured myself a coke, and as it was almost closing time, and the couple in the corner were finally leaving, I walked around to his side of the bar, and took the stool beside him. He held out a 20 but I replied, "It's on me," with a wink.
"Jesus, how do you pronounce that" he said, and at once I knew he had seen my name on my shirt.
"It's Breffni" I said, holding my hand out for him to shake, which he did. "My mum must have liked Gaelic, either that or she was high when she had me" I added. "Breffni Park is the name of a Gaelic pitch back home in Ireland" I explained with a smile, seeing the expression on his face.
"Oh, the name's Frank by the way" he said.
We talked for a while, and at about 12. 30 I decided to close the bar, since no-one else had come in, in over an hour, and Frank asked if I would like him to stay behind and help me clear up. So far I had found out that he was thirty-three, had been married twice, but divorce both times due to work, that he had two kids, a boy and a girl, and that he was currently single, he had winked when he said that. I agreed, thinking he was a nice guy, and locked the door, turning the sign so it read "CLOSED" and began to clear up. We joked around, and chatted as we cleaned. He was taking a few ashtrays to the bar when I said, "You must get this a lot, but you look remarkably like that dude, Tré Cool, from Green Day." He walked slowly to the bar without saying anything, put the ashtrays down and turned around with a smirk on his face, and a devilish glint in his eyes, that I thought only I had.
"Who's to say I ain't Tré Cool?" he said.
I looked at him, cautiously, staring into his ice blue eyes as he walked towards me. I laughed, not believing my luck and thinking that Tasha and Oonagh would be so jealous when I tell them that I met one of the Green Day guys. The three of us liked them, and had seen them live once.
"What?" he said.
"Oh, I thought I recognised you from somewhere." I replied, "Why the cover up 'Frank'?"
"Well, if I say my name's Tré, people automatically know its me, and I do, occasionally like to have a quiet drink, on my own" he laughed.
"This turned out to be a great birthday after all" I smirked quietly to myself, thinking Tré was at the other end of the bar.
"Tonight's your birthday?" Tré asked, from behind me.
'Shit' I thought to myself, "Yup, eighteen today"
"And you're working? Fuck, if it was my birthday, I wouldn't be working. I'd be celebrating. Why aren't you celebrating? It's a milestone"
"That's why. The first milestone set away from friends, family and from home" he could see the sadness in my eyes, as I talked of my friends and family. "But I don't mind, I had a great birthday."
"When's your next night off?" Tré asked, a little too quickly.
I thought about it, "Friday, I think. Why?"
"Cause I'm gonna take you out. Call it a late birthday present."
"You don't have to do that Tré, it's o" he cut me off placing a finger against my lips, "Call it a date then" he said with a smile.
"Put it that way and how can I refuse" I mumbled past his finger, and smiled.
The rest of the week rushed by, I had sent messages to both Oonagh and Clare telling them my news. Oonagh still hadn't replied, she was probably to busy plotting to take over the world or something like that, Clare had, wishing me well, and insisting that I let her know how it goes. Laura was ecstatic when I told her, she was so happy that I'd met someone, even when I told her that this was only the first date, and that maybe nothing will come from it, but she just wouldn't calm down. Friday came, I got my hair cut, and bought a new dress and shoes, hey, I deserved it. At seven, I began to get ready, I showered, slipped into my dress, applied make-up and checked my hair. At eight, on the dot, the buzzer rang, it was Tré, right on time. I let him up and left the door ajar as I went to find my purse, phone and keys.
"Whoa!" Tré said with a smile as I placed my other shoe on my foot, and stood up. I laughed and twirled, making his smile grow. "I take it your ready?" I nodded, "Then, lets go. The car's waiting." He said kissing my cheek. I followed him out, pulling the door after me.
He drove me to a quiet restaurant where we had dinner, talked, and danced. After this we went to a bar, which he liked, it had a nice atmosphere, and wasn't too packed for a Friday night.
"Try that," Tré said, placing a cocktail glass on the table in front of me. "Did you know this is the only bar in Berkeley, that I know of, that makes a Cheech properly." he added, taking a sip. I cautiously took a sip, and liked it. "Shit, I should have asked first, you do drink, don't you?" He knew I was only 18, and that that was under the legal age in America. "Yeah, just don't tell anyone" I smiled, taking another sip. We talked more, I loved hearing his stories from tours, and his two kids looked and sounded adorable. From the way he looked when he talked about them, I could see that he loved them greatly. At 1. 30 Tré took me home, we kissed at the door, and he left. We had agreed to meet up again the following Tuesday. He was taking me to meet a few people, and said that he would pick me up at four, and I couldn't wait. I went up to my flat and turned on my computer. 3 new messages. The first from Avril telling me everything was fine and that Clare had let her know about my date. She told me to be careful and have fun, and that she wouldn't tell anyone. She added at the bottom that Mark wanted an autograph, which made me smile. The next was from Oonagh. I could barely understand it. From what I saw she had written it in a mixture of shock and excitement. It said something about good luck, don't blow it, and then something about a wedding, which confused me a little, but oh well. The third was from Tré, he must have sent it before he left earlier. It said that he enjoyed tonight and he couldn't wait 'til Tuesday. How did he know that he would enjoy tonight so much? And how did he know I would agree to Tuesday? I smiled to myself and went to bed, feeling confused but elated.
I floated on air for the next few days, Laura had heard all the gossip and I had to prevent her from telling just about everyone she met that I was dating Tré Cool. On Monday I received a call from Tré, apologizing that he couldn't come to pick me up, but was sending a car, and to wear something casual, that the people I was meeting didn't need impressing. So, on Tuesday, I got ready, wearing a pair of new jeans, converse, and a nice top. At 4. 30, a horn sounded outside, so I pulled on a jacket and ran out the door, grabbing my keys on the way out.
A black SUV was parked at the kerb, and a lady was leaning up against it. She was average height, had long brown, wavy hair and was wearing a black tracksuit and black sunglasses. "Are you Breffni?" she asked, why she needed sunglasses in the middle of November I didn't know, but everyone to their own, I suppose. "Yeah" I replied quietly, realising, as she removed her sunglasses, that the lady just happened to be Adrienne Armstrong. Now I realised the necessity of the sunglasses. "Hop in" she said opening her door and jumping in. "Sorry the guys couldn't pick you up, but something urgent came up. If your thinking about getting with Tré, you're gonna have to learn to live with that." I could tell that she was apprehensive about me. She mustn't approve of Tré dating someone almost half his age. "No, it's okay, I understand. I'm looking on the bright side, he could have cancelled" I replied. She laughed, a good sign I hoped. "Yeah. I suppose he could've done that. I'm used to being the one that's left waiting. It'll be nice to have someone to wait with." She paused. "To be truthful, a car was meant to be sent for you, but I volunteered to come pick you up, I wanted to meet you without the guys, you know, to check things out, girl to girl." Now I didn't know what to think. Did she like me, or hate me? "There are just so many girls that Tré meets, and Mike for that matter, that just dates them because of the fact that they're in a famous band, and that they're well off" she continued, "are you like that?" I couldn't believe that she was being so upfront about the matter. "No, I know that he's in Green Day, and that he's famous, and I know that he has money, but that doesn't bother me, that isn't what attracted me to him. When I look at Tré, I see the cute, kind, caring guy that I served drinks to," I replied, trying not to sound too taken back by her question, "he's the guy that was sweet enough to help me close the bar and tidy up. I didn't even realise he was Tré Cool for about 4 hours after I met him."
"He introduced himself as Frank I take it?" Adie replied.
"Yeah." I blushed, and she laughed.
"I reckon you'll fit right in. I hear your from Ireland" she was good at changing the subject quickly.
"Yup again. I just needed a change of pace, and to get out of school, and away from a few people. I still miss everyone terribly though" I said thoughtfully. We talked all the way to the house, and I think we got on well.
"The guy's will be back soon" Adie said as we walked through the front door, and into the kitchen. 'Fuck! ' I thought, entering after her, I didn't realise Tré wanted me to meet so many people. Adie started the introductions pointing as she spoke,
"Joseph, Jakob, Anastasia, Estelle, Ramona, Claudia, and Frankito."
"Giving introductions I see" Billie Joe said from the hallway. He walked into the kitchen, "Billie" he said, kissing my cheek, "Mike, nice to meet you," said Mike doing the same. Tré walked in, kissed me shyly, and whispered, "How you doin?" in my ear, I looked into his calm blue eyes, I loved the way they changed colour with his mood. "Okay, so far, only just arrived." I replied. "They'll love you, I do" he said and walked over to the fridge to get a drink, leaving me shocked. 'Did he just say he loved me' I thought to myself. "Everyone," Tré piped up, breaking my thought, "This is Breffni" I immediately turned bright red. I couldn't believe he'd introduced me by shouting across the room.
After getting over the initial shock of meeting everyone, we sat down to a lovely dinner that Adie, Claudia, and Ana had prepared. It was great, Tré's kid's were great, I could see that Frankito was the spitting image of his father, and the way everyone acted together, it was like one huge family, and that getting together like this was a usual occurrence. I got on well with everyone, and Tré barely left my side the entire time, he said it was to make sure that no-one told me any secrets of his, but the way he said it, I knew he was joking, not that I minded having him by my side all night though. Everyone had a great time, and at 9 o'clock, Ana and Stella, left, along with Claudia, Frankito and Ramona, and Joey and Jakob were sent to bed. The three men went into the living room to have a smoke, and I helped Adie to clear up.
"You have fun today?" Adie asked.
"Yeah, after the initial shock, it was great. And dinner was lovely."
"Thanks, it wasn't much. Tré only told us he was bringing you over on Sunday" she laughed.
When we were finished up, Adie went to check on the little boys, while I went in to join the bigger ones. I stood at the doorway for a little while, just absorbing the scene in front of me... Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Dirnt and Tré Cool gossiping like schoolgirls, in the most beautiful living room I had ever seen. "Funny the way they act sometimes," I jumped, but composed myself quickly, to find Adie standing beside me. She chuckled. "I can tell he likes you, you know" she added. "Just from the way he acts around you. It's different to the last girl he took to meet us. He's never introduced anyone this soon before." She paused, "Are you pregnant?" she asked, a concerned glint in her eye. I looked at her, "Nope. Definitely not." I answered, with a smile, and she immediately knew what I meant. "Let's go join the boys then" she added, before walking in and taking a seat beside Billie. I followed her in and sat down between Mike and Tré. "So, what are you three gossiping about?" Adie asked. "Nothing" they all said in unison as Adie and I laughed. "Well guy's I'm gonna hit the road," said Mike, "lovely meeting you Breffni. See you soon" and he kissed me on the cheek, Tré growled, and Mike stepped away giggling, kissed Adie on the cheek and left.
"What was that about?" I asked, "oh, nothing" Tré replied.
"He gets very protective of his girlfriends" Billie chuckled.
"Do not"
"Do too"
"Do not"
"Do too"
"Do not"
"Do too"
"BOYS" Adie shouted laughing, "stop it. Tré, admit it, you are protective of your girlfriend, and Billie, your just plain stubborn"
"Okay I admit it... " Tré paused, "Billie is stubborn." Me and Adie started to laugh and Billie got up, playfully punched Tré and walked into the kitchen, returning with drinks.
"You're staying here tonight, right?" Billie asked me, waiting for an answer. I looked from Billie, to Adie, to Tré, and back to Billie, "if you'll have me?" I replied, "Good," said Billie handing me a glass of wine, "Just in case you needed to be left home," he smirked, "we don't really like cabs coming up to the house, privacy issue I have."
We all talked, and had a few more drinks, wine really gets to me, so I only had 2 glasses. Billie and Adie went to bed, and me and Tré sat up a little longer talking,
"I like your family, and I enjoyed today, thanks" I said kissing him.
"You know I meant what I said earlier, I love you."
I stared into his eyes and saw that he meant it, in my heart I knew I did too. "I love you too." I kissed him again, I didn't care what anyone said, you could feel love within a few days. We made our way upstairs, and that night I made love for the first time, with the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I fell asleep in his arms with the thought that moving to America was the best thing I had ever done, going through my head.
I awoke the next morning to find that Tré was already up, and a note on the pillow telling me to come down to the kitchen. I got dressed, and went downstairs. "Good mornin' gorgeous" Tré said as I walked over to him, kissed him and sat down at the table. He had got up early and made breakfast for me, then took me back to my flat so I could get ready for work, then walked me to the bar.
On December 9th we celebrated Tré's birthday by going clubbing, and he stayed at mine that night, since we were both quite drunk, and my flat was closer than Billie's house. Two days later, Laura told me that she had gotten engaged and was moving to New York permanently, to be near family. It was sad saying goodbye, even though I'd only known her a few months, but Tré helped me through it.
*
I may have only been dating Tré now for a few weeks, but I was on cloud 9 the whole time, people were even telling me I was glowing, which I thought was because I was so happy. Three days later, however, I found out I was late, and that was not a good sign. I took a pregnancy test, and that confirmed it. I phoned Tré, I didn't tell him, but I said that I had to tell him something important, so he said that he would come over later, as he had something to ask me anyway.
He came over at 9 on the dot, and let himself in. I was sitting on the couch, watching the TV, but concentrating more on how I would tell him. "Hey" he said as he walked over, kissed me, and sat down beside me.
"I know you said on the phone that you had something urgent to tell me, but let me go first, please" Tré started, his face full of determination. I nodded, slightly confused. "Well," he continued, clearing his throat, "you know we've been going out only a short time, but I think it just feels right with you. I know in the past, I've rushed into these sorts of things, but here goes... " I knew what was coming next. Tré got down on one knee in front of me, and took a ring box out of his pocket, opening it he asked, "Will you marry me, Breffni?" A single tear rolled down my cheek. This was too much emotion for an eighteen year old. "Tré," I began, he looked hurt, but hopeful, "come sit beside me," he sat up on the couch again. I had no idea how I could tell him now, but I couldn't keep it from him. I loved him, "Tré, I have some news, and it may make you want to review your question," I paused, taking in his expression. He looked scared with anticipation. "Tré, I'm pregnant." I said, slowly and quietly, watching his face, looking into his intense ice blue eyes. He was quiet, expressionless. Then, to my surprise he smiled, "That doesn't change anything, I still want to marry you. Even more now, if that's possible. What do ya say?"
Now it was my turn to be shocked. Here, I had found a nice, caring thoughtful, man who still wanted to marry me even after finding out I was pregnant. "Yes," I said, "if you'll still have me." He jumped over to me, which wasn't that far considering we were sitting beside each other, and kissed me, then breaking away leant down and kissed my belly. He was euphoric. He slipped a small ring onto my finger, and kissed me again. "Come on, we have to go."
"Wait, where are we going?"
"To Billie's, where else?"
"Oh. I'll get changed, hold on" I said standing up.
"Na, your gorgeous as you are, come on, lets go" I couldn't believe he had said that, when I was standing in a pair of pyjama bottoms and a tracksuit top, and my hair desperately crying out to be washed. "Come on, I need to tell someone the news, or I'll explode" he yelled. I put on my slippers, ran over to him, kissed him and we left. We made it to Billie's in a record time. Tré was just so unbelievably excited, and it was rubbing off. By the time we reached Billie's door, I couldn't stop laughing. I had never, in my life, been so happy.
"Billie! Get your tight ass out here and open this goddamn door" Tré yelled banging on the door. I was about to tell Tré to stop when Billie opened the door, "My ass is not tight" he yelled, punching Tré on the arm. He walked into the living room, followed by Tré and me, and sat down beside Adie.
"We have BIG news, and little news," Tré said, he was still nearly shouting.
"Tré, quiet down, I just put the boy's to bed." Adie said, then seeing his expression, she added, "big news first." With a smile.
"IASKEDBREFFNITOMARRYMEANDSHESAIDYES!" Tré shouted all at once.
"Wait. Slower and quieter" exclaimed Billie, he had only seen Tré this excited a few times before, and those times, he had been high. But he knew that wasn't it, Tré had cut that down since he had met Breffni.
I decided, I should tell them, as Tré would never get it out clearly enough for them to understand, "He said, he asked me to marry him, and I said yes" I said, slowly and quietly. Just as Billie had asked.
"Oh my fuckin' god. That's fuckin' amazin' guy's" Billie yelled as he ran over, kissed me and, oddly enough, kissed Tré.
"Congratulations," Adie said, and hugged me. Then pulling her husband off of Tré, hugged him too.
When the commotion died down a little, Billie asked, "If that's the big news, what's the little news?" by now, we were all sitting. Tré put his hand on my tummy, and said quietly, "we're pregnant. And before you ask Adie, I found out she was pregnant after I asked her to marry me."
"I wasn't going to say anything about that Tré, I know how much you both love each other." She said, shocked at what Tré had said to her. "Congratulations, from both of us dude." Billie piped up. "Drinks." He yelled as he ran into the kitchen. He returned with 4 champagne glasses, filled with orange juice. "Well we can't very well drink alcohol if you're preggers now, can we?" he motioned to me, handing out the glasses. "Oh, and Dirnt's comin over, I told him the news." That night we sat up, talking, and laughing. We decided that we should get married soon, and then let everyone know about the baby. The 'extended family' were told, but were also told not to come over, that we would all get together in a few days. I phoned in sick the next day, which I didn't usually do, but I wanted to spend the day with Tré.
On a spur of the moment decision, we got married at Billie's house three days later. None of my family or friends knew, let alone were there, I decided that I had to choose carefully how to tell them. But, until then, I acted completely normal. I wore a simple white dress, and Adie, my only bridesmaid, wore a dress similar to mine, but in red. It was a very quiet affair, but I didn't care, as long as the handsome man facing me was the man I loved, Tré. We bought a house, just down the road from Billie, about a five minute drive, and were settled in by Christmas, and it was the best Christmas ever. I never thought that in the space of 6 months I would have my own place, not renting, let alone be married and pregnant, but I couldn't be happier if I tried.
Tré and I flew to Ireland, for New Years, it's amazing how quickly he can get tickets, when he mentions his name to the check in girl.
"Good to be back?" Tré asked, as we touched down.
"Yeah, especially since I brought you" I replied. I had informed Avril and Mark, that I was coming back for New Year and that I was bringing a friend, so it was no surprise to me when I came through the gates that Avril came running towards me. She hugged me tightly, and then stood back, looking shocked. "Breffni, are you pregnant?" she asked, with a look of concern.
"Yes," I beamed, I may only have been a few weeks gone, but Avril had a sixth sense about that sort of thing, "and its father is coming now. He's just talking to some people." I added. Avril's face looked even more shocked, when Tré walked through the gates and over towards us. "Oh, and that's not the only news I have," I said, before she could say anything, "We got married." I added. Avril fainted, there and then, but Tré caught her. She was only out for a few seconds and when she came round, she congratulated both of us, and led us to the car, blushing slightly. It was December 29th so the roads were fairly quiet. Tré insisted on driving, with our assistance for directions of course, as he believed that Avril needed to rest.
When we arrived home, we quickly explained the situation to a shocked Mark, and headed to bed as jet-lag had begun to set in.
Avril had arranged a party at the house on New Years Eve, and invited everyone that we knew. Including my parents. I decided that I would tell everyone at the party, instead of only a few people knowing. So when everyone arrived, I hid Tré upstairs with Mark and told him that I'd come and get him when I was ready. He didn't mind, he got on really well with Mark.
Once everyone was settled in the snooker room, as it was biggest, I stood up, and began, "Well, firstly, Happy New Year, and thank you all for coming," I looked at my parents when I said this. "I have a bit of news that I know you will all be interested in." I paused, "When I was in America, I met someone, fell in love, and on December 22nd I got married. Excuse me for a second, and I'll go get my husband. Don't go anywhere, there's more." I said and left to get Tré. A few minutes later I returned, with Tré in toe, to a sea of very shocked faces. "The other news is that," I paused again, "we're pregnant." I smiled, and Tré's face beamed.
*Thump*
Two people fainted. My dad, in disbelief, and my mum, in shock. Avril saw to them and I was instantly surrounded by people, congratulating me and asking various questions. After 5 minutes I stood up on the chair again, and said, "This party ain't about us people. Now lets bring in the new year in style." I laughed and Tré lifted me down. We went into the kitchen to find mum and dad sitting at the table. Dad seemed fine, but Bridie was sheet white. "What example are you setting for them now?" she started, "That it's okay to get pregnant at eighteen. I don't give a damn if he's famous, that's probably why you got pregnant, you little bitch, to trap him for life, and get rich in the process. How dare yo" Tré cut her off. He actually looked angry, an emotion I had never seen in him before. His eyes were steel grey. "How dare Breffni? How dare you, you mean." He spat, "Breffni has told me all about you, and how you would react. I love your daughter and you can accept that if you like, frankly I don't give a fuck. I love her and she loves me. As for this trapping for life shit, you've got it completely wrong. I asked Breffni to marry me before I found out she was pregnant. She doesn't care about the money one bit. And now I can see why she left, and why she was apprehensive about coming back. I know everything about your daughter, probably more than you do, but hell that wouldn't be hard. Now, you can either stay, and enjoy the party or leave. We don't give a fuck. Oh and this pregnancy thing, is fine. I've seen how Breffni has acted with Frankito, and Ramona, and Billie's, and Mike's kids, so I know your parenting skills haven't rubbed off on her to much, thank fuck." Tré finished. My dad, who had been silent through the whole thing, spoke up, "usually I would stand up for my wife, but this time I can see your point. I'm happy that Breffni has made a life for herself, and that she is being looked after well." He paused as he watched Bridie stand up, and storm out, through the front door. I could see that he wanted to go after her, god only knows why, but I knew. "Dad, just go, I'll leave the kid's down tomorrow. Go." I added. "Thanks Breffni, and congratulations" he shook Tré's hand, hugged me and left.
We had a good party, everyone was by now informed of every last detail of my past six months in America, and close friends had my house number so they could phone. As they all left I told them that they would all be told, when I had had the baby. The next day Tré and I took a drive down to my parents' house and dropped of the 3 kids. As soon as we arrived, I had a gut feeling that something wasn't right, and as soon as we walked in my dad pulled me and Tré to one side. "I have some bad news. I'd advise you to get the next flight back to the states, ASAP." He looked worried. "What is it dad?" I asked. "Well," he began, "I'm sorry, I tried to stop her, but first thing this morning your mother had an interview with a journalist. He said that nothing would become of it until after the 3rd when they had their full staff back again, but... " he paused, and looked at my worried face. "She told him everything, and he's starting with the headline of 'TRE COOL GOT MY EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD DAUGHTER PREGNANT' I'm so sorry. I promise you that I tried to stop her."
Now I was furious. I burst into her room. "How dare you," I yelled, Tré by my side, "You accuse me of being a gold-digging little bitch whose only in it for the money, and the first thing you do is sell your story to the papers without a thought of how it will affect Tré's career? And all for a little money. Why can't you just let me be happy?" I didn't wait for an answer, I stormed out of the room, gave Cahir, Katie, and Hannah a kiss on the way out and left. I felt cramps in the pit of my stomach, and was doubled over in pain in the driveway. "Holy fuck" Tré yelled, as he came out of the house. He must have been talking to Martin. He lifted me up and placed me gently in the passenger seat, and sped towards the city, to the hospital. We arrived at the hospital and as porters ran towards us, I blacked out. The next thing I knew, I was lying on a bed hooked up to machines, with a dull pain in my tummy. Clare was sitting on the chair beside my bed, holding my hand, but lying sleeping. I moved my hand, trying to release it without waking her, but I failed. "Tré, she's awake" Clare shouted, to my husband, who was pacing the floor like someone demented, talking on the phone, "Shit, Billie, I'll call you back. She's awake" he said and ran over to my side. "The baby?" I asked, hopefully. "You're both fine" he replied, I burst into tears. "You're both fine, as long as you rest and aren't put under any stress," he added. "I'll go let the doctor know," Clare said as she ran from the room, returning a few minutes later with Dr. Harkin. He walked over towards the bed and sat down. He introduced himself, and began, "Breffni, what happened to you was quite serious. The placenta separated a little from the wall of your womb. For this to happen within the first few months could have caused you to miscarry, but we have it all under control. So there is no need to worry. Really, trust me. All you need is a few months of bed rest, and by that I mean, only getting up, with assistance, to use the bathroom, and regular check-ups with your local doctor. Your husband tells me you live in America. Ideally you shouldn't go through the stress of flying but if you need to get back as urgently as Frank tells me, we can try to make it as easy as possible."
Within two days I was on a flight back home, with Tré. Clare had wanted to come but I refused, claiming that she had to finish school, and not miss out on my account. She only agreed to stay when Avril said she would come with me. As the plane arrived on American soil, I felt I was home. The airport staff knew the score and we were taken through an empty terminal, to an awaiting car. I arrived home and was taken upstairs to bed, before I was joined by Adie, Billie, and Mike. Tré had told them the situation and everyone was very quiet. It cheered me up that they all cared about me so much, even though I only knew them a couple of months.
A press conference was organised for the next day, for us to separate the facts from the rumours, and with my doctors permission, I attended. We were asked to explain the situation, and before Tré could open his mouth I decided that I would answer the question. "Well," I began, Tré gripping my hand under the table. "I moved to America in June, and I met Tré on the 21st of November. The day I turned eighteen. We decided to start dating, but to keep it quiet. Our love quickly blossomed and in December, we married. Then I found out the great news that we were to have a child. I agree that everything was moving a little fast, but I wouldn't change any of it, and at least some of your readers will agree that nothing can stand in the way of love. We returned to Ireland for the new year, and for me to inform my family and friend of the news."
"What about the headlines in Irish papers, where did they grow from?" a reporter asked.
"Well, that is an easy answer." I began, "That particular story came from my mother, who wasn't happy about me leaving school to move to America, let alone me getting married and falling pregnant while I was there." I paused for a few seconds before continuing, "The day before that particular article was published, I had fought with her about her decision to go to the press, and all the added stress, has caused me to fall ill and has forced me to be bedridden for the next few months, for the safety of me and our child." I looked at Tré as I said this last point, and he leant over and kissed me. Then he added, "We are happy with our arrangement, and now that you have your story, I would kindly ask for you all to leave our house as my wife needs her rest and we need our privacy. I just hope that we will not be badgered with photographers at our front door every time any of us steps outside." At this point, Billie and Mike, walked in and sat down beside me. "We would just like to make a statement, that as a band," Billie started, "and as a family, we are sticking together to offer all our support to Tré and Breffni as long as they need it." He paused and Mike carried on, "we would ask for the support, thoughts and prayers, of your readers as we get through this time, and that a healthy strong baby results in eight months. Until then, we ask for privacy."
"Yeah," Tré added, "then you can have as many pictures of my wonderful wife and our child."
"Just one last question," another reporter asked, "Is this the end for Green Day? Now that Tré is settling down."
I decided to answer this for the boys, "No. My condition, and marriage to Tré will not be the end for Green Day. It will bring them closer and stronger," I looked at each of them, "And will hopefully make them all the better. If that's possible. I won't stand in the way of anything to do with the band, and their records or gigs. Now, if that's all, thank you and goodbye. I'm going to bed."
The room erupted with laughter as I was helped out of the room by Billie, Mike and Tré.
In March, Mark came over to join Avril for St. Patrick's Day, claiming he missed his wife, and needed her back, but stayed for a week. We all had a great time, the only hiccup was when they were all nearly arrested. But I forgave Tré, quite quickly. Before they left, I had gone to the hospital for a check up and was given the all clear, my baby was finally in a comfortable condition, and we were both finally safe. I even went on a chat show with Tré to talk publicly, and if I say so myself, I looked and felt great. I liked the little neat bump that I had and enjoyed the quiet attention from the press, and the public.
By the time September came round, I was ready. I had painted one of the bedrooms and got furniture to fill it with, and then, 3 days premature, and after 25 hours in labour, I gave birth to a gorgeous, health baby girl, with Tré by my side, the whole time, who we later named, Samiam, after a band he used to play in. I informed everyone back home, except Bridie. She didn't deserve to find out in a nice way, I would let someone tell her, after all, because of her I could have lost my baby, Tré's career could have been ruined. Everyone was excited, and I agreed that I would come and visit soon. Sam was a wonderful, calm baby, who before long was settled into a good routine, with a large family who loved her, and Tré and I were never short of baby-sitters. And the press got what they were promised. Lots of photos of Sam, Tré and I. We showed her off at every possible occasion, including the Brit Awards, where Green Day picked up 'Best International Band' and we decided to fly over, and stay in Ireland for a while, and everyone agreed that Sam was adorable. I was never happier.
After a week in Ireland, again staying with Avril, who was now pregnant, and Mark, Tré and I decided to buy a house, just outside the city. We found a nice little 5 bedroom house surrounded by 2 acres of green. It was the perfect holiday home, except for the weather.
The arrival of Sam, brought me closer with Ramona and Frank, as they loved having a little sister, and occasionally they joined us on our little breaks away.
Sam's first Christmas, was perfect, better than I could have wanted. We were all surrounded by friends and family, and in the spring, I went on my first Green Day tour, reluctantly leaving Sam with Avril. She claimed that she wanted some practice, even though she worked in a crèche. It was wonderful. The guys played, in 5 different countries, to over 40 thousand people each night, and I got to see a part of the world. I loved just sitting back and watching them get ready, and warm up during the day, and enjoyed relaxing with them at night. It was nice to see that being a married man didn't stop Tré's wild antics on stage, what with falling down some stairs while running towards the crowd, and setting the drum kit up too close to the flames. By the end of the tour, he was worn out and slightly singed hair. So, I took the man I loved to Ireland, collected Sam and we spent a week in our secluded cottage.
*
"Tré?" I asked, walking into the living room after putting, a rowdy one year old Sam to bed.
"Yes, babe, what's up?" he replied, sleepily from the sofa. The late summer sunshine peeping in the window.
"Oh, just something I have been meaning to tell you for ages... " I paused, watching his concerned, kind face.
"Well, what is it? Are you okay?"
"Yeah, just that I love you as much now, as I did the day I met you."
I watched his expression as it changed to relief. He must have thought that I had bad news or something.
"Jesus, don't do that to me," he started, throwing a cushion at me with a smile, "I thought you were going to leave me or something like that." He paused. We sat in silence for a few seconds, and then out of nowhere, he grabbed me, and kissed me passionately, before poking me in the ribs, and running up the stairs. "Oh you're gonna pay for that." I yelled, running after him. He had started a poking war, and that, with Tré anyway, always ended the same way, sex...
"I can't believe my luck, even now." I said to Adie a few months later, at the studio. "I still can't believe how lucky I am."
"I know," she smiled, as we watched Billie, Mike and Tré practice in the next room. "It's great being married to a wonderful man, with two beautiful children, and wonderful people around you."
"I know exactly how you feel." I said, with a devilishly happy glint in my eye, putting an emphasis on 'exactly' and said no more. Adie looked at me, surprised, and realised what I meant.
"You mean you're..?"
"Yup, I am, but keep it under your hat. I haven't told Tré yet. I'm waiting until his birthday." I paused, and looked through the glass, "do you think he'll like his present?" I asked and smiled, waving as Tré noticed me watching and blew me a kiss. "Jesus, for only having one ball, that man's fairly fuckin fertile." Adie said. Both of us laughed. I couldn't wait to tell him, but I wanted to keep the secret a little longer...
"I told you, you aren't leaving! You're staying here and you're finishing school." She yelled back.
It was always like this, she cared more about me getting through school, with good grades, and setting a good example for Cahir, Katie and Hannah, than having a good life. Well, according to her she couldn't leave Colm to set a good example, he'd walked out of school at 16 and was now either unemployed or labouring, whichever took his fancy at that particular time. I knew in my heart that what I needed wasn't in Ireland. I had tried to be interested in school, but it just wasn't going to work. I was leaving for America in 2 days, and I was ready. My parents on the other hand, had gone along with it, truly believing that this, like a lot of other things in my past, was just a phase, and that I wouldn't go through with it.
"Listen, I've written down my address in Florida, and if you want get Cahir to e-mail me so I can get you the other addresses as I move." I replied.
"Martin, you talk to her, she can't go. She has to finish school. What example is it setting for the other three? That they can leave school at 17 and everything will be alright?" my mother, Bridie, yelled at my dad. He usually tried to do what was best for me, but this time he wasn't sure, and I could see it in his face.
I'll try to explain, when I was four I found out that I was adopted, yes I admit it is a little young, and as I grew older, and Bridie had children of her own, I saw the cracks. Colm is adopted too, but I was the only one to be treated differently, they still treated him like their own, I didn't know why. But with me, the fights started at 14, and I was feeling like an outsider in the family, that I didn't belong.
"I don't know what to do this time Bridie," it was looking good for me, I didn't need their permission, but I would prefer to have it. "Breffni is 17, and is an adult, who is capable of making her own decisions. Can you not tell that from her moving to Avril's on her 17th birthday?"
It was true, Avril was my cousin, who I'd been living with on and off since I was 15, when I started to work for her husband, and on my 17th birthday I had had enough, and moved out, permanently.
"Thanks for trying to make her see sense dad, I have to go now, I'll be leaving on Tuesday and tell Hannah I'll phone her later on in the week" I hated goodbyes, especially with Hannah, she was only little and I would miss her the most. "Bye then" I said, sliding the kitchen door open and walked down the path to my car.
"Yeah, well if you leave now, never come back, I never want to see you back in this house again" Bridie yelled from the kitchen door. For once, I decided to leave it, even though I really wanted to yell 'I thought you said it was yes, not yeah' and continued to open the door of my car and drove off. She had wanted me out of her house and out of her life for a long time, and within the space of 7 months, she got both.
Pulling into the drive, I noticed that there were more cars than usual parked at the house. I thought nothing of it and walked inside, "strange" I said quietly to myself, noticing the lack of people, and the lack of noise. I was curious now, and checked upstairs, and the living room, but found no-one. "They must have gone out" I said to myself, "stop talking to yourself Breffni, it's the first sign of madness" I added smiling at my own joke, and I walked into the kitchen to get a drink. As I walked over to the fridge I heard faint whispers coming from the snooker room so I thought I'd check it out. I pushed the door to see what...
"SURPRISE!"
"AAARGH"
I nearly keeled over then and there. Avril came over and put a party hat on my head, and gave me a hug.
"Jesus, I took you long enough to find us," she smirked, "you must've been terrible at hide and seek"
I looked around the room to see all my friends, and some family, laughing and joking with each other. "This is wonderful" I said to Avril, with tears in my eyes, "I really wasn't expecting anything, but this is great."
"Least we could do." Mark said handing me a drink. I loved them all so much at that moment.
The party was great. We all talked, danced, drank, ate, mingled, and I got a cactus called Bob from Oonagh. It was amazing, just what I needed. About 4. 30, people started leaving, Carl and Carol shared a taxi with Joanne and Mosy, as they all had to get up for work at 8. "Weee're gona missss you Breffereres" Carl slurred, as he hugged me on the way past. "Here have this, it's a wee goin away pressie from alla us" I turned around and Jo thrust an envelope in my hand before hugging me also, and then the four of them left. I was going to miss working with them, the craic was always so good.
The next morning I awoke on the floor of a random room to see a mass of sleepin/passed-out bodies around me. I mustn't have even made it to my bed. I grinned to see who were lying near me, Jason and Ryan. 'Interesting' I thought, and giggled quietly as I placed Jason's hand on Ryan's crotch and Ryan's hand on Jason's ass. When that was done, I struggled to find my way to the kitchen, took some painkillers for the killer headache I was going to have as soon as my brain switched itself on and clicked the kettle on. I made myself a cup of tea, and sat at the table to think.
"Hey" I didn't see who had walked in, tears welled in my eyes. "What's wrong?" I looked up to see Mark standing over me.
"Oh, nothing" I sighed, "just thinking about things. How I'm gonna miss you all, mostly." He sat down beside me.
"Don't worry, let us know when your settled and we'll come over to visit you. You know how much I love holidays." He laughed. He was sweet, trying to make me laugh, but it wasn't working this time. "You know... " he started, flicking the ash from his cigarette into the ashtray, "I don't think we'll find a worker like you anywhere... "
I laughed, breaking his concentration.
"What?" Mark looked surprised at my outburst.
"Now I know you're trying to cheer me up. You'll find a better replacement in no time"
We sat in silence for a few minutes, I finished my tea. Then an idea came to me. "Close your ears, I'll be back in a minute." I whispered as I ran from the room, with a devilish grin across my face. And a few minutes later Mark knew why...
"Turn that fucking piece of shit alarm off" came from one room, while everyone began to stir, actually believing the house was on fire. "Mwa ha ha ha ha" I shouted as people emerged onto the landing from various rooms, to see me standing on a chair with my finger on the smoke detector tester button.
"Look out!" shouted Caoimhe and Natasha in unison, but it was too late. Simon, coming from god knows what room, tackled me and pinned me to the floor.
"Okay, I've had my fun, get off me, I'm done, I swear," I shouted as Simon began to let me up. "For those about to throw up, the bathroom's there, those with hangovers" I said to everyone, "kitchen, we have painkillers." I smiled and walked down the stairs.
We all sat round for a while, recovering a little, I could see that Simon couldn't trust me, which was kind of funny. As everyone left, now sober enough to drive, I got hugs and kisses from all of them. I smirked as I noticed Jason and Ryan couldn't look at each other.
"So, what are you going to do today? Recover? Pack? Or just generally get ready?" Avril asked as I walked back into the living room. "probably gonna finish packing and I might take a drive to Moville to say goodbye to granny and granda McLaughlin and stop at the grave on the way back up to say goodbye to granny and granda Breslin." I replied.
"Just don't forget that man is coming today to take the car. Do you want me to deal with that?" I nodded in reply. I had had to sell my car to have a little money to bring with me.
When I came back, I finished packing my things, essentials only, put my stuff into Mark's jeep, and about 9:30, went to bed, telling Mark on the way past that he should too, if he's going to be able to get up.
At 4:30, the alarm went off, and I got up, showered, dressed, woke Mark and finally went downstairs to get breakfast. He stumbled down the stairs fifteen minutes later scruffily dressed, with clothes he'd obviously grabbed from the floor, with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, and began searching for a lighter. For someone who is quite a heavy smoker, and always stealing everyone else's lighter, he never had one handy. I smiled and handed him mine.
By 5:15 we were on the road, headed for Dublin. I knew I would be early for checking in, but I had to leave before other people got up, as I said before, I can't stand goodbyes.
I took one last look down at the Emerald Isle as the plane ascended, I didn't know when or even if I would be back again. I ordered a drink, downed it and went to sleep. I don't usually mind flying, bit this one would be excruciating, thinking of all the people that I loved, and was leaving behind.
*
Two months later, I was living in an ugly, cramped apartment, barely surviving on my shit wages from a crap job I didn't enjoy, vowing not to touch my savings cause I would need them if I want to move on. "Fucking piece of shit" I yelled at the TV, missing Irish channels and Irish TV shows, and threw the remote, missing the screen by millimetres. "Fuck!" I yelled. I missed Ireland dreadfully, and all my friends but told myself I would make it work. I drowned my sorrows on the half full bottle of cheap vodka, and passed out on my lumpy sofa bed, alone, again. The next day, August 31st, I walked down to the cyber-café and sent a 'happy birthday' e-mail to Hannah, asking if she got the present I sent her, I was sure Cahir would show her the message for me. I sent a few more e-mails before opening the message entitled 'good luck' from my best friend Clare. I knew what was in it... My AS level exam results. I opened it, waiting what seemed like forever for it to load up. "Yes!" I shouted, a little too loudly. Noticing people staring, I apologized and went on with reading the message... It read,
"Hi Breffni, hope your having a better time since the last time we spoke. Has that piece of shit boss fired you yet? :D only kidding, anyway, down to business, you got:
Tech A
Geography A
Biology B
Chemistry A
Hope you're happy with your results, I got 4 A's and was allowed to drop chemistry, let me know how you're doing, lotsa luv Clare xx"
Well, how could I not be happy? 3 A's and a B, I was ecstatic. I sent a final e-mail to Avril to let her know how I'd done and left the café. I was only 15minutes late for work, but as Clare had predicted, my 'piece of shit boss' fired me. On the way back to my apartment I stopped in at the café again, and booked a flight to California, went home, packed and informed my landlord. It was time to move on, and nothing was keeping me here.
*
I got off the plane, collected my bags and walked outside. 'This is more like it' I thought to myself as I stepped out into the warm autumn sunshine. It just felt right. I jumped into the nearest cab and was off.
"Where to, love?" asked the cabby, I later found out his name was Jimmy.
"I don't know," I replied, then saying the first thing that came into my head, I answered "Berkeley"
We chatted the whole journey, and by the time I arrived, Jimmy knew my life story, and I knew his. I paid him, said goodbye, and got out of the cab. He had dropped me off in front of a hostel, as I needed somewhere to stay while I got a place of my own sorted. This time I was going to take it slowly, and get a place I actually liked. I didn't have to wait long, 2 days later I found a nice 1 bedroom flat, in a good area, close to everywhere. A few days later I landed myself a job in a bar, with lovely people, and the pay wasn't that bad either. My life was looking up, although I was getting less messages waiting for me when I checked my e-mails, but that was to be expected, all my friends were starting into their final year of school, I say final year, but most of them will probably go to university. I made some new friends at the bar, Laura was great, she helped me get settled in and showed me all the 'hotspots' of the town.
At Halloween, Avril, Mark, and Hannah came over to visit for a few days and we had a blast. I loved catching up with them but before long their holiday was over, and they had to go. Bridie had only agreed to let Hannah go if she was back in time for school, lucky her.
I began to get a little depressed after they left. Laura tried to make me feel better, but in a way, wasn't helping that much. It wasn't her fault, she had met a guy and that was great, but without realising it didn't help, she brought him with her every time she came to see me. They were at the point of their relationship where they were inseparable, and every time I saw them together, it made me sad as I thought about Jason, who I had broken up with before leaving, claiming that a long-distance relationship would never work. I put on a front at work, with the punters, I laughed and joked through my shifts, not letting my personal life get in the way, which in a way helped, as it allowed me to cheer up again.
On the 21st, I turned 18 and instead of celebrating, I was working, I didn't mind though, and no-one else knew because I hadn't told them. I didn't want a big fuss this year, I would have missed everyone back home too much if I had celebrated. Instead, I planned to have a good night at work. I was only down to work the night shift, so during the day I just sat around, read all my 'Happy Birthday' e-mails from Ireland, and opened my mail, which mostly consisted of cards and presents. At 5:30 I got showered and put on my skinny jeans, black shoes, and the black fitted shirt with the bar's name on the back and mine on the right breast pocket, and left for work.
The night started off quiet, which was usual for a Tuesday night. It was fun. I talked to the regulars and was generally kept busy. At 11. 30 the bar started to clear, and only three people were left, a couple in the corner who really needed to get a room, and a man, who I had noticed came in around nine. He was sat at the bar on a stool, staring into his pint, so after clearing some tables and wiping around, I went behind the bar and walked over to him.
"You shouldn't do that you know, they probably won't be in there" I said with a smirk.
"What won't?" he said quite glumly, drinking the last drop.
"The answer to all your problems." I replied. That line usually made people either smile, or talk, or occasionally, cry. "Want another?" I asked, already knowing the answer.
"Yeah, why not." He replied with a smile. "And one for yourself"
Passing him his pint, I poured myself a coke, and as it was almost closing time, and the couple in the corner were finally leaving, I walked around to his side of the bar, and took the stool beside him. He held out a 20 but I replied, "It's on me," with a wink.
"Jesus, how do you pronounce that" he said, and at once I knew he had seen my name on my shirt.
"It's Breffni" I said, holding my hand out for him to shake, which he did. "My mum must have liked Gaelic, either that or she was high when she had me" I added. "Breffni Park is the name of a Gaelic pitch back home in Ireland" I explained with a smile, seeing the expression on his face.
"Oh, the name's Frank by the way" he said.
We talked for a while, and at about 12. 30 I decided to close the bar, since no-one else had come in, in over an hour, and Frank asked if I would like him to stay behind and help me clear up. So far I had found out that he was thirty-three, had been married twice, but divorce both times due to work, that he had two kids, a boy and a girl, and that he was currently single, he had winked when he said that. I agreed, thinking he was a nice guy, and locked the door, turning the sign so it read "CLOSED" and began to clear up. We joked around, and chatted as we cleaned. He was taking a few ashtrays to the bar when I said, "You must get this a lot, but you look remarkably like that dude, Tré Cool, from Green Day." He walked slowly to the bar without saying anything, put the ashtrays down and turned around with a smirk on his face, and a devilish glint in his eyes, that I thought only I had.
"Who's to say I ain't Tré Cool?" he said.
I looked at him, cautiously, staring into his ice blue eyes as he walked towards me. I laughed, not believing my luck and thinking that Tasha and Oonagh would be so jealous when I tell them that I met one of the Green Day guys. The three of us liked them, and had seen them live once.
"What?" he said.
"Oh, I thought I recognised you from somewhere." I replied, "Why the cover up 'Frank'?"
"Well, if I say my name's Tré, people automatically know its me, and I do, occasionally like to have a quiet drink, on my own" he laughed.
"This turned out to be a great birthday after all" I smirked quietly to myself, thinking Tré was at the other end of the bar.
"Tonight's your birthday?" Tré asked, from behind me.
'Shit' I thought to myself, "Yup, eighteen today"
"And you're working? Fuck, if it was my birthday, I wouldn't be working. I'd be celebrating. Why aren't you celebrating? It's a milestone"
"That's why. The first milestone set away from friends, family and from home" he could see the sadness in my eyes, as I talked of my friends and family. "But I don't mind, I had a great birthday."
"When's your next night off?" Tré asked, a little too quickly.
I thought about it, "Friday, I think. Why?"
"Cause I'm gonna take you out. Call it a late birthday present."
"You don't have to do that Tré, it's o" he cut me off placing a finger against my lips, "Call it a date then" he said with a smile.
"Put it that way and how can I refuse" I mumbled past his finger, and smiled.
The rest of the week rushed by, I had sent messages to both Oonagh and Clare telling them my news. Oonagh still hadn't replied, she was probably to busy plotting to take over the world or something like that, Clare had, wishing me well, and insisting that I let her know how it goes. Laura was ecstatic when I told her, she was so happy that I'd met someone, even when I told her that this was only the first date, and that maybe nothing will come from it, but she just wouldn't calm down. Friday came, I got my hair cut, and bought a new dress and shoes, hey, I deserved it. At seven, I began to get ready, I showered, slipped into my dress, applied make-up and checked my hair. At eight, on the dot, the buzzer rang, it was Tré, right on time. I let him up and left the door ajar as I went to find my purse, phone and keys.
"Whoa!" Tré said with a smile as I placed my other shoe on my foot, and stood up. I laughed and twirled, making his smile grow. "I take it your ready?" I nodded, "Then, lets go. The car's waiting." He said kissing my cheek. I followed him out, pulling the door after me.
He drove me to a quiet restaurant where we had dinner, talked, and danced. After this we went to a bar, which he liked, it had a nice atmosphere, and wasn't too packed for a Friday night.
"Try that," Tré said, placing a cocktail glass on the table in front of me. "Did you know this is the only bar in Berkeley, that I know of, that makes a Cheech properly." he added, taking a sip. I cautiously took a sip, and liked it. "Shit, I should have asked first, you do drink, don't you?" He knew I was only 18, and that that was under the legal age in America. "Yeah, just don't tell anyone" I smiled, taking another sip. We talked more, I loved hearing his stories from tours, and his two kids looked and sounded adorable. From the way he looked when he talked about them, I could see that he loved them greatly. At 1. 30 Tré took me home, we kissed at the door, and he left. We had agreed to meet up again the following Tuesday. He was taking me to meet a few people, and said that he would pick me up at four, and I couldn't wait. I went up to my flat and turned on my computer. 3 new messages. The first from Avril telling me everything was fine and that Clare had let her know about my date. She told me to be careful and have fun, and that she wouldn't tell anyone. She added at the bottom that Mark wanted an autograph, which made me smile. The next was from Oonagh. I could barely understand it. From what I saw she had written it in a mixture of shock and excitement. It said something about good luck, don't blow it, and then something about a wedding, which confused me a little, but oh well. The third was from Tré, he must have sent it before he left earlier. It said that he enjoyed tonight and he couldn't wait 'til Tuesday. How did he know that he would enjoy tonight so much? And how did he know I would agree to Tuesday? I smiled to myself and went to bed, feeling confused but elated.
I floated on air for the next few days, Laura had heard all the gossip and I had to prevent her from telling just about everyone she met that I was dating Tré Cool. On Monday I received a call from Tré, apologizing that he couldn't come to pick me up, but was sending a car, and to wear something casual, that the people I was meeting didn't need impressing. So, on Tuesday, I got ready, wearing a pair of new jeans, converse, and a nice top. At 4. 30, a horn sounded outside, so I pulled on a jacket and ran out the door, grabbing my keys on the way out.
A black SUV was parked at the kerb, and a lady was leaning up against it. She was average height, had long brown, wavy hair and was wearing a black tracksuit and black sunglasses. "Are you Breffni?" she asked, why she needed sunglasses in the middle of November I didn't know, but everyone to their own, I suppose. "Yeah" I replied quietly, realising, as she removed her sunglasses, that the lady just happened to be Adrienne Armstrong. Now I realised the necessity of the sunglasses. "Hop in" she said opening her door and jumping in. "Sorry the guys couldn't pick you up, but something urgent came up. If your thinking about getting with Tré, you're gonna have to learn to live with that." I could tell that she was apprehensive about me. She mustn't approve of Tré dating someone almost half his age. "No, it's okay, I understand. I'm looking on the bright side, he could have cancelled" I replied. She laughed, a good sign I hoped. "Yeah. I suppose he could've done that. I'm used to being the one that's left waiting. It'll be nice to have someone to wait with." She paused. "To be truthful, a car was meant to be sent for you, but I volunteered to come pick you up, I wanted to meet you without the guys, you know, to check things out, girl to girl." Now I didn't know what to think. Did she like me, or hate me? "There are just so many girls that Tré meets, and Mike for that matter, that just dates them because of the fact that they're in a famous band, and that they're well off" she continued, "are you like that?" I couldn't believe that she was being so upfront about the matter. "No, I know that he's in Green Day, and that he's famous, and I know that he has money, but that doesn't bother me, that isn't what attracted me to him. When I look at Tré, I see the cute, kind, caring guy that I served drinks to," I replied, trying not to sound too taken back by her question, "he's the guy that was sweet enough to help me close the bar and tidy up. I didn't even realise he was Tré Cool for about 4 hours after I met him."
"He introduced himself as Frank I take it?" Adie replied.
"Yeah." I blushed, and she laughed.
"I reckon you'll fit right in. I hear your from Ireland" she was good at changing the subject quickly.
"Yup again. I just needed a change of pace, and to get out of school, and away from a few people. I still miss everyone terribly though" I said thoughtfully. We talked all the way to the house, and I think we got on well.
"The guy's will be back soon" Adie said as we walked through the front door, and into the kitchen. 'Fuck! ' I thought, entering after her, I didn't realise Tré wanted me to meet so many people. Adie started the introductions pointing as she spoke,
"Joseph, Jakob, Anastasia, Estelle, Ramona, Claudia, and Frankito."
"Giving introductions I see" Billie Joe said from the hallway. He walked into the kitchen, "Billie" he said, kissing my cheek, "Mike, nice to meet you," said Mike doing the same. Tré walked in, kissed me shyly, and whispered, "How you doin?" in my ear, I looked into his calm blue eyes, I loved the way they changed colour with his mood. "Okay, so far, only just arrived." I replied. "They'll love you, I do" he said and walked over to the fridge to get a drink, leaving me shocked. 'Did he just say he loved me' I thought to myself. "Everyone," Tré piped up, breaking my thought, "This is Breffni" I immediately turned bright red. I couldn't believe he'd introduced me by shouting across the room.
After getting over the initial shock of meeting everyone, we sat down to a lovely dinner that Adie, Claudia, and Ana had prepared. It was great, Tré's kid's were great, I could see that Frankito was the spitting image of his father, and the way everyone acted together, it was like one huge family, and that getting together like this was a usual occurrence. I got on well with everyone, and Tré barely left my side the entire time, he said it was to make sure that no-one told me any secrets of his, but the way he said it, I knew he was joking, not that I minded having him by my side all night though. Everyone had a great time, and at 9 o'clock, Ana and Stella, left, along with Claudia, Frankito and Ramona, and Joey and Jakob were sent to bed. The three men went into the living room to have a smoke, and I helped Adie to clear up.
"You have fun today?" Adie asked.
"Yeah, after the initial shock, it was great. And dinner was lovely."
"Thanks, it wasn't much. Tré only told us he was bringing you over on Sunday" she laughed.
When we were finished up, Adie went to check on the little boys, while I went in to join the bigger ones. I stood at the doorway for a little while, just absorbing the scene in front of me... Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Dirnt and Tré Cool gossiping like schoolgirls, in the most beautiful living room I had ever seen. "Funny the way they act sometimes," I jumped, but composed myself quickly, to find Adie standing beside me. She chuckled. "I can tell he likes you, you know" she added. "Just from the way he acts around you. It's different to the last girl he took to meet us. He's never introduced anyone this soon before." She paused, "Are you pregnant?" she asked, a concerned glint in her eye. I looked at her, "Nope. Definitely not." I answered, with a smile, and she immediately knew what I meant. "Let's go join the boys then" she added, before walking in and taking a seat beside Billie. I followed her in and sat down between Mike and Tré. "So, what are you three gossiping about?" Adie asked. "Nothing" they all said in unison as Adie and I laughed. "Well guy's I'm gonna hit the road," said Mike, "lovely meeting you Breffni. See you soon" and he kissed me on the cheek, Tré growled, and Mike stepped away giggling, kissed Adie on the cheek and left.
"What was that about?" I asked, "oh, nothing" Tré replied.
"He gets very protective of his girlfriends" Billie chuckled.
"Do not"
"Do too"
"Do not"
"Do too"
"Do not"
"Do too"
"BOYS" Adie shouted laughing, "stop it. Tré, admit it, you are protective of your girlfriend, and Billie, your just plain stubborn"
"Okay I admit it... " Tré paused, "Billie is stubborn." Me and Adie started to laugh and Billie got up, playfully punched Tré and walked into the kitchen, returning with drinks.
"You're staying here tonight, right?" Billie asked me, waiting for an answer. I looked from Billie, to Adie, to Tré, and back to Billie, "if you'll have me?" I replied, "Good," said Billie handing me a glass of wine, "Just in case you needed to be left home," he smirked, "we don't really like cabs coming up to the house, privacy issue I have."
We all talked, and had a few more drinks, wine really gets to me, so I only had 2 glasses. Billie and Adie went to bed, and me and Tré sat up a little longer talking,
"I like your family, and I enjoyed today, thanks" I said kissing him.
"You know I meant what I said earlier, I love you."
I stared into his eyes and saw that he meant it, in my heart I knew I did too. "I love you too." I kissed him again, I didn't care what anyone said, you could feel love within a few days. We made our way upstairs, and that night I made love for the first time, with the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I fell asleep in his arms with the thought that moving to America was the best thing I had ever done, going through my head.
I awoke the next morning to find that Tré was already up, and a note on the pillow telling me to come down to the kitchen. I got dressed, and went downstairs. "Good mornin' gorgeous" Tré said as I walked over to him, kissed him and sat down at the table. He had got up early and made breakfast for me, then took me back to my flat so I could get ready for work, then walked me to the bar.
On December 9th we celebrated Tré's birthday by going clubbing, and he stayed at mine that night, since we were both quite drunk, and my flat was closer than Billie's house. Two days later, Laura told me that she had gotten engaged and was moving to New York permanently, to be near family. It was sad saying goodbye, even though I'd only known her a few months, but Tré helped me through it.
*
I may have only been dating Tré now for a few weeks, but I was on cloud 9 the whole time, people were even telling me I was glowing, which I thought was because I was so happy. Three days later, however, I found out I was late, and that was not a good sign. I took a pregnancy test, and that confirmed it. I phoned Tré, I didn't tell him, but I said that I had to tell him something important, so he said that he would come over later, as he had something to ask me anyway.
He came over at 9 on the dot, and let himself in. I was sitting on the couch, watching the TV, but concentrating more on how I would tell him. "Hey" he said as he walked over, kissed me, and sat down beside me.
"I know you said on the phone that you had something urgent to tell me, but let me go first, please" Tré started, his face full of determination. I nodded, slightly confused. "Well," he continued, clearing his throat, "you know we've been going out only a short time, but I think it just feels right with you. I know in the past, I've rushed into these sorts of things, but here goes... " I knew what was coming next. Tré got down on one knee in front of me, and took a ring box out of his pocket, opening it he asked, "Will you marry me, Breffni?" A single tear rolled down my cheek. This was too much emotion for an eighteen year old. "Tré," I began, he looked hurt, but hopeful, "come sit beside me," he sat up on the couch again. I had no idea how I could tell him now, but I couldn't keep it from him. I loved him, "Tré, I have some news, and it may make you want to review your question," I paused, taking in his expression. He looked scared with anticipation. "Tré, I'm pregnant." I said, slowly and quietly, watching his face, looking into his intense ice blue eyes. He was quiet, expressionless. Then, to my surprise he smiled, "That doesn't change anything, I still want to marry you. Even more now, if that's possible. What do ya say?"
Now it was my turn to be shocked. Here, I had found a nice, caring thoughtful, man who still wanted to marry me even after finding out I was pregnant. "Yes," I said, "if you'll still have me." He jumped over to me, which wasn't that far considering we were sitting beside each other, and kissed me, then breaking away leant down and kissed my belly. He was euphoric. He slipped a small ring onto my finger, and kissed me again. "Come on, we have to go."
"Wait, where are we going?"
"To Billie's, where else?"
"Oh. I'll get changed, hold on" I said standing up.
"Na, your gorgeous as you are, come on, lets go" I couldn't believe he had said that, when I was standing in a pair of pyjama bottoms and a tracksuit top, and my hair desperately crying out to be washed. "Come on, I need to tell someone the news, or I'll explode" he yelled. I put on my slippers, ran over to him, kissed him and we left. We made it to Billie's in a record time. Tré was just so unbelievably excited, and it was rubbing off. By the time we reached Billie's door, I couldn't stop laughing. I had never, in my life, been so happy.
"Billie! Get your tight ass out here and open this goddamn door" Tré yelled banging on the door. I was about to tell Tré to stop when Billie opened the door, "My ass is not tight" he yelled, punching Tré on the arm. He walked into the living room, followed by Tré and me, and sat down beside Adie.
"We have BIG news, and little news," Tré said, he was still nearly shouting.
"Tré, quiet down, I just put the boy's to bed." Adie said, then seeing his expression, she added, "big news first." With a smile.
"IASKEDBREFFNITOMARRYMEANDSHESAIDYES!" Tré shouted all at once.
"Wait. Slower and quieter" exclaimed Billie, he had only seen Tré this excited a few times before, and those times, he had been high. But he knew that wasn't it, Tré had cut that down since he had met Breffni.
I decided, I should tell them, as Tré would never get it out clearly enough for them to understand, "He said, he asked me to marry him, and I said yes" I said, slowly and quietly. Just as Billie had asked.
"Oh my fuckin' god. That's fuckin' amazin' guy's" Billie yelled as he ran over, kissed me and, oddly enough, kissed Tré.
"Congratulations," Adie said, and hugged me. Then pulling her husband off of Tré, hugged him too.
When the commotion died down a little, Billie asked, "If that's the big news, what's the little news?" by now, we were all sitting. Tré put his hand on my tummy, and said quietly, "we're pregnant. And before you ask Adie, I found out she was pregnant after I asked her to marry me."
"I wasn't going to say anything about that Tré, I know how much you both love each other." She said, shocked at what Tré had said to her. "Congratulations, from both of us dude." Billie piped up. "Drinks." He yelled as he ran into the kitchen. He returned with 4 champagne glasses, filled with orange juice. "Well we can't very well drink alcohol if you're preggers now, can we?" he motioned to me, handing out the glasses. "Oh, and Dirnt's comin over, I told him the news." That night we sat up, talking, and laughing. We decided that we should get married soon, and then let everyone know about the baby. The 'extended family' were told, but were also told not to come over, that we would all get together in a few days. I phoned in sick the next day, which I didn't usually do, but I wanted to spend the day with Tré.
On a spur of the moment decision, we got married at Billie's house three days later. None of my family or friends knew, let alone were there, I decided that I had to choose carefully how to tell them. But, until then, I acted completely normal. I wore a simple white dress, and Adie, my only bridesmaid, wore a dress similar to mine, but in red. It was a very quiet affair, but I didn't care, as long as the handsome man facing me was the man I loved, Tré. We bought a house, just down the road from Billie, about a five minute drive, and were settled in by Christmas, and it was the best Christmas ever. I never thought that in the space of 6 months I would have my own place, not renting, let alone be married and pregnant, but I couldn't be happier if I tried.
Tré and I flew to Ireland, for New Years, it's amazing how quickly he can get tickets, when he mentions his name to the check in girl.
"Good to be back?" Tré asked, as we touched down.
"Yeah, especially since I brought you" I replied. I had informed Avril and Mark, that I was coming back for New Year and that I was bringing a friend, so it was no surprise to me when I came through the gates that Avril came running towards me. She hugged me tightly, and then stood back, looking shocked. "Breffni, are you pregnant?" she asked, with a look of concern.
"Yes," I beamed, I may only have been a few weeks gone, but Avril had a sixth sense about that sort of thing, "and its father is coming now. He's just talking to some people." I added. Avril's face looked even more shocked, when Tré walked through the gates and over towards us. "Oh, and that's not the only news I have," I said, before she could say anything, "We got married." I added. Avril fainted, there and then, but Tré caught her. She was only out for a few seconds and when she came round, she congratulated both of us, and led us to the car, blushing slightly. It was December 29th so the roads were fairly quiet. Tré insisted on driving, with our assistance for directions of course, as he believed that Avril needed to rest.
When we arrived home, we quickly explained the situation to a shocked Mark, and headed to bed as jet-lag had begun to set in.
Avril had arranged a party at the house on New Years Eve, and invited everyone that we knew. Including my parents. I decided that I would tell everyone at the party, instead of only a few people knowing. So when everyone arrived, I hid Tré upstairs with Mark and told him that I'd come and get him when I was ready. He didn't mind, he got on really well with Mark.
Once everyone was settled in the snooker room, as it was biggest, I stood up, and began, "Well, firstly, Happy New Year, and thank you all for coming," I looked at my parents when I said this. "I have a bit of news that I know you will all be interested in." I paused, "When I was in America, I met someone, fell in love, and on December 22nd I got married. Excuse me for a second, and I'll go get my husband. Don't go anywhere, there's more." I said and left to get Tré. A few minutes later I returned, with Tré in toe, to a sea of very shocked faces. "The other news is that," I paused again, "we're pregnant." I smiled, and Tré's face beamed.
*Thump*
Two people fainted. My dad, in disbelief, and my mum, in shock. Avril saw to them and I was instantly surrounded by people, congratulating me and asking various questions. After 5 minutes I stood up on the chair again, and said, "This party ain't about us people. Now lets bring in the new year in style." I laughed and Tré lifted me down. We went into the kitchen to find mum and dad sitting at the table. Dad seemed fine, but Bridie was sheet white. "What example are you setting for them now?" she started, "That it's okay to get pregnant at eighteen. I don't give a damn if he's famous, that's probably why you got pregnant, you little bitch, to trap him for life, and get rich in the process. How dare yo" Tré cut her off. He actually looked angry, an emotion I had never seen in him before. His eyes were steel grey. "How dare Breffni? How dare you, you mean." He spat, "Breffni has told me all about you, and how you would react. I love your daughter and you can accept that if you like, frankly I don't give a fuck. I love her and she loves me. As for this trapping for life shit, you've got it completely wrong. I asked Breffni to marry me before I found out she was pregnant. She doesn't care about the money one bit. And now I can see why she left, and why she was apprehensive about coming back. I know everything about your daughter, probably more than you do, but hell that wouldn't be hard. Now, you can either stay, and enjoy the party or leave. We don't give a fuck. Oh and this pregnancy thing, is fine. I've seen how Breffni has acted with Frankito, and Ramona, and Billie's, and Mike's kids, so I know your parenting skills haven't rubbed off on her to much, thank fuck." Tré finished. My dad, who had been silent through the whole thing, spoke up, "usually I would stand up for my wife, but this time I can see your point. I'm happy that Breffni has made a life for herself, and that she is being looked after well." He paused as he watched Bridie stand up, and storm out, through the front door. I could see that he wanted to go after her, god only knows why, but I knew. "Dad, just go, I'll leave the kid's down tomorrow. Go." I added. "Thanks Breffni, and congratulations" he shook Tré's hand, hugged me and left.
We had a good party, everyone was by now informed of every last detail of my past six months in America, and close friends had my house number so they could phone. As they all left I told them that they would all be told, when I had had the baby. The next day Tré and I took a drive down to my parents' house and dropped of the 3 kids. As soon as we arrived, I had a gut feeling that something wasn't right, and as soon as we walked in my dad pulled me and Tré to one side. "I have some bad news. I'd advise you to get the next flight back to the states, ASAP." He looked worried. "What is it dad?" I asked. "Well," he began, "I'm sorry, I tried to stop her, but first thing this morning your mother had an interview with a journalist. He said that nothing would become of it until after the 3rd when they had their full staff back again, but... " he paused, and looked at my worried face. "She told him everything, and he's starting with the headline of 'TRE COOL GOT MY EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD DAUGHTER PREGNANT' I'm so sorry. I promise you that I tried to stop her."
Now I was furious. I burst into her room. "How dare you," I yelled, Tré by my side, "You accuse me of being a gold-digging little bitch whose only in it for the money, and the first thing you do is sell your story to the papers without a thought of how it will affect Tré's career? And all for a little money. Why can't you just let me be happy?" I didn't wait for an answer, I stormed out of the room, gave Cahir, Katie, and Hannah a kiss on the way out and left. I felt cramps in the pit of my stomach, and was doubled over in pain in the driveway. "Holy fuck" Tré yelled, as he came out of the house. He must have been talking to Martin. He lifted me up and placed me gently in the passenger seat, and sped towards the city, to the hospital. We arrived at the hospital and as porters ran towards us, I blacked out. The next thing I knew, I was lying on a bed hooked up to machines, with a dull pain in my tummy. Clare was sitting on the chair beside my bed, holding my hand, but lying sleeping. I moved my hand, trying to release it without waking her, but I failed. "Tré, she's awake" Clare shouted, to my husband, who was pacing the floor like someone demented, talking on the phone, "Shit, Billie, I'll call you back. She's awake" he said and ran over to my side. "The baby?" I asked, hopefully. "You're both fine" he replied, I burst into tears. "You're both fine, as long as you rest and aren't put under any stress," he added. "I'll go let the doctor know," Clare said as she ran from the room, returning a few minutes later with Dr. Harkin. He walked over towards the bed and sat down. He introduced himself, and began, "Breffni, what happened to you was quite serious. The placenta separated a little from the wall of your womb. For this to happen within the first few months could have caused you to miscarry, but we have it all under control. So there is no need to worry. Really, trust me. All you need is a few months of bed rest, and by that I mean, only getting up, with assistance, to use the bathroom, and regular check-ups with your local doctor. Your husband tells me you live in America. Ideally you shouldn't go through the stress of flying but if you need to get back as urgently as Frank tells me, we can try to make it as easy as possible."
Within two days I was on a flight back home, with Tré. Clare had wanted to come but I refused, claiming that she had to finish school, and not miss out on my account. She only agreed to stay when Avril said she would come with me. As the plane arrived on American soil, I felt I was home. The airport staff knew the score and we were taken through an empty terminal, to an awaiting car. I arrived home and was taken upstairs to bed, before I was joined by Adie, Billie, and Mike. Tré had told them the situation and everyone was very quiet. It cheered me up that they all cared about me so much, even though I only knew them a couple of months.
A press conference was organised for the next day, for us to separate the facts from the rumours, and with my doctors permission, I attended. We were asked to explain the situation, and before Tré could open his mouth I decided that I would answer the question. "Well," I began, Tré gripping my hand under the table. "I moved to America in June, and I met Tré on the 21st of November. The day I turned eighteen. We decided to start dating, but to keep it quiet. Our love quickly blossomed and in December, we married. Then I found out the great news that we were to have a child. I agree that everything was moving a little fast, but I wouldn't change any of it, and at least some of your readers will agree that nothing can stand in the way of love. We returned to Ireland for the new year, and for me to inform my family and friend of the news."
"What about the headlines in Irish papers, where did they grow from?" a reporter asked.
"Well, that is an easy answer." I began, "That particular story came from my mother, who wasn't happy about me leaving school to move to America, let alone me getting married and falling pregnant while I was there." I paused for a few seconds before continuing, "The day before that particular article was published, I had fought with her about her decision to go to the press, and all the added stress, has caused me to fall ill and has forced me to be bedridden for the next few months, for the safety of me and our child." I looked at Tré as I said this last point, and he leant over and kissed me. Then he added, "We are happy with our arrangement, and now that you have your story, I would kindly ask for you all to leave our house as my wife needs her rest and we need our privacy. I just hope that we will not be badgered with photographers at our front door every time any of us steps outside." At this point, Billie and Mike, walked in and sat down beside me. "We would just like to make a statement, that as a band," Billie started, "and as a family, we are sticking together to offer all our support to Tré and Breffni as long as they need it." He paused and Mike carried on, "we would ask for the support, thoughts and prayers, of your readers as we get through this time, and that a healthy strong baby results in eight months. Until then, we ask for privacy."
"Yeah," Tré added, "then you can have as many pictures of my wonderful wife and our child."
"Just one last question," another reporter asked, "Is this the end for Green Day? Now that Tré is settling down."
I decided to answer this for the boys, "No. My condition, and marriage to Tré will not be the end for Green Day. It will bring them closer and stronger," I looked at each of them, "And will hopefully make them all the better. If that's possible. I won't stand in the way of anything to do with the band, and their records or gigs. Now, if that's all, thank you and goodbye. I'm going to bed."
The room erupted with laughter as I was helped out of the room by Billie, Mike and Tré.
In March, Mark came over to join Avril for St. Patrick's Day, claiming he missed his wife, and needed her back, but stayed for a week. We all had a great time, the only hiccup was when they were all nearly arrested. But I forgave Tré, quite quickly. Before they left, I had gone to the hospital for a check up and was given the all clear, my baby was finally in a comfortable condition, and we were both finally safe. I even went on a chat show with Tré to talk publicly, and if I say so myself, I looked and felt great. I liked the little neat bump that I had and enjoyed the quiet attention from the press, and the public.
By the time September came round, I was ready. I had painted one of the bedrooms and got furniture to fill it with, and then, 3 days premature, and after 25 hours in labour, I gave birth to a gorgeous, health baby girl, with Tré by my side, the whole time, who we later named, Samiam, after a band he used to play in. I informed everyone back home, except Bridie. She didn't deserve to find out in a nice way, I would let someone tell her, after all, because of her I could have lost my baby, Tré's career could have been ruined. Everyone was excited, and I agreed that I would come and visit soon. Sam was a wonderful, calm baby, who before long was settled into a good routine, with a large family who loved her, and Tré and I were never short of baby-sitters. And the press got what they were promised. Lots of photos of Sam, Tré and I. We showed her off at every possible occasion, including the Brit Awards, where Green Day picked up 'Best International Band' and we decided to fly over, and stay in Ireland for a while, and everyone agreed that Sam was adorable. I was never happier.
After a week in Ireland, again staying with Avril, who was now pregnant, and Mark, Tré and I decided to buy a house, just outside the city. We found a nice little 5 bedroom house surrounded by 2 acres of green. It was the perfect holiday home, except for the weather.
The arrival of Sam, brought me closer with Ramona and Frank, as they loved having a little sister, and occasionally they joined us on our little breaks away.
Sam's first Christmas, was perfect, better than I could have wanted. We were all surrounded by friends and family, and in the spring, I went on my first Green Day tour, reluctantly leaving Sam with Avril. She claimed that she wanted some practice, even though she worked in a crèche. It was wonderful. The guys played, in 5 different countries, to over 40 thousand people each night, and I got to see a part of the world. I loved just sitting back and watching them get ready, and warm up during the day, and enjoyed relaxing with them at night. It was nice to see that being a married man didn't stop Tré's wild antics on stage, what with falling down some stairs while running towards the crowd, and setting the drum kit up too close to the flames. By the end of the tour, he was worn out and slightly singed hair. So, I took the man I loved to Ireland, collected Sam and we spent a week in our secluded cottage.
*
"Tré?" I asked, walking into the living room after putting, a rowdy one year old Sam to bed.
"Yes, babe, what's up?" he replied, sleepily from the sofa. The late summer sunshine peeping in the window.
"Oh, just something I have been meaning to tell you for ages... " I paused, watching his concerned, kind face.
"Well, what is it? Are you okay?"
"Yeah, just that I love you as much now, as I did the day I met you."
I watched his expression as it changed to relief. He must have thought that I had bad news or something.
"Jesus, don't do that to me," he started, throwing a cushion at me with a smile, "I thought you were going to leave me or something like that." He paused. We sat in silence for a few seconds, and then out of nowhere, he grabbed me, and kissed me passionately, before poking me in the ribs, and running up the stairs. "Oh you're gonna pay for that." I yelled, running after him. He had started a poking war, and that, with Tré anyway, always ended the same way, sex...
"I can't believe my luck, even now." I said to Adie a few months later, at the studio. "I still can't believe how lucky I am."
"I know," she smiled, as we watched Billie, Mike and Tré practice in the next room. "It's great being married to a wonderful man, with two beautiful children, and wonderful people around you."
"I know exactly how you feel." I said, with a devilishly happy glint in my eye, putting an emphasis on 'exactly' and said no more. Adie looked at me, surprised, and realised what I meant.
"You mean you're..?"
"Yup, I am, but keep it under your hat. I haven't told Tré yet. I'm waiting until his birthday." I paused, and looked through the glass, "do you think he'll like his present?" I asked and smiled, waving as Tré noticed me watching and blew me a kiss. "Jesus, for only having one ball, that man's fairly fuckin fertile." Adie said. Both of us laughed. I couldn't wait to tell him, but I wanted to keep the secret a little longer...