On the Morning Tide

Leland's POV:

"This is f**ked up beyond belief dad. How could the two of you do this to us?" Cobie asks standing up from the chair he was sitting in. "We didn't do anything to you Cobie, calm down." Duane Lee says as he stands up at the same time. "I will not calm down. This is f**ked up. This is some sorta soap opera shit. I cant believe you knew the whole time who she was and didn't say anything to us. How could you, dad?" He screams as walk past me and out the back door.

"Well, that went well." I say turning to my brother, who was staring at Cobie as he walked out the door. "I didn't know they would be here today, I was hoping to leave town before he got here." Duane Lee says, crossing his arms. "Yeah, I thought you would be gone, and they would have no idea you were even here." I say.

Duane had just come for a weekend visit, but Cobie called a few days ago and said he would be coming into town for Summer break and I couldn't say no, I hadn't seen my son in a few months. So I spent time catching up with my brother and was hoping to have him on a plane by the time they landed. But as fate would have it, they were here a day early.

"I better go check on Kai." Duane Lee says, walking out the door, leaving me standing alone.

Duane Lee's POV:

"Hey pumpkin." I say sitting down next to my daughter. She looked up at me with tears in her beautiful brown eyes and it broke my heart. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you what was going on. I just didn't want to hurt you or confuse you." I tell her.

"But you've always been honest with me daddy. Why didn't you tell me this, it was important." she says leaning into me. "Up until now, it wasn't. Leland was part of mom's past and I never thought you would have to find out. And I certainly never thought you would be dating Cobie..." I tell her, shrugging my shoulders.

"He was part of my past too. He said he was there when I was born. He was the first person that ever held me, dad. How could you and mom decide that wasn't an important part of my life? You don't get to make those decisions for me, that's for me to decide." she says looking up at me.

She sits up, staring off into the distance. "It all makes sense now." she says shaking her head. "All the arguments, all the times mom left us for days at the time. It was because of him. Because she loved him." She cries into her hands.

I pinched the bridge of my nose with my fingers, closing my eyes. It stung to hear my daughter say that. It wasn't anything I didn't know, but to hear it come from her made it even more painful. I feel her lean against me and put her arm around me. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." she says sweetly, wiping her face off with her hand.

I opened my eyes and gave her a brief sad smile. "It was nothing you did baby. Nothing at all." I say putting my arm around her. "No this was all my fault." I always knew that I shouldn't have even called Mya when I discovered it wasn't working with my first wife. But at the same time I often wondered what if I hadn't of called, I wouldn't have ever know she was pregnant with my daughter.

"No dad, this one is all on Mom." she says looking up at me. I wanted to agree with her, but I didn't want to throw Mya under the bus. "Not everything is your mom's fault. We all played a part in this, even Leland." I tell her.

"So, you're really his brother? And Cobie's....uncle?" she asks me. I gaze out to the water and nod. "I am."

Leland's POV

"Cobie, wait." I yell as he runs out the front door. I jog a few feet to catch up with him. "I don't want to talk to you dad. Not right now. Just let me go." He says pulling his arm out of my grasp. It hurt me to see him so upset and to know that I was the cause of it.

"Just hear me out son." I say stopping him from getting in the car. He crosses his arms over his chest and raises his eyebrow. A silent look, telling me to go ahead and say my peace.

"I'm sorry for not telling you the truth. To be honest, I didn't know how to tell you, or what to tell you. I didn't even know if you would believe me if I did tell you." I say, exasperated. "I really never thought you and Kai would stay together this long. I was just going to let it go when you let her go. But I see now that you really love her and obviously want to spend the rest of your life with her."

"I don't know what I want right now." he says bitterly.

"Cobie, this is not her fault. Do not take it out on her." I say sternly. The last thing I wanted was for them to break up over something I said...or in this case didn't say.

"Do you know how incredibly awkward this is going to be for us? Do you?" he says coming face to face with me. "Can you imagine what it would be like if you found out you were engaged to your own cousin? Its f**ked up!." He says loudly. "She probably wont speak to me again....I cant say that I would blame her."

"Don't go jumping to conclusions. You haven't even spoken to her. You don't know how she feels about the situation yet." I say, squeezing his shoulder, trying to at least give him a little comfort. He shrugs my hand off and walks past me and onto the sand leading out to Kai.

"I want you to know if she leaves me, its all on you dad." He says from a distance.

Cobie's POV

I took my time finding Kai, I knew she couldn't have gone too far. I looked to my left and saw her sitting on the stairs to the abandoned house. The very house where it all took place many years ago. I racked my brain trying to think back to a time when I might have played with her or spent time there with her, I couldn't come up with anything.

As I approached her and my uncle Duane, I suddenly felt nervous. I didn't know what to say to her. From this point on, everything would be different.

"Mind if I talk to Kai?" I ask as they both look up at me. My uncle nods and leaves us to talk. I sit down next to her. She nervously bits her lip and looks away from me.

"I'm sorry baby. About everything. I...I don't know what to do or what to say right now. I wish I had all the answers, because I know you have a lot of questions." I say touching her arm.

She turns to face me and says sadly, "Right now, my questions aren't for you Cobie."

Cobie's POV

My mind was reeling with what ifs as I watched her turn away from me; staring off into the distance. I knew how much she was hurting, because I was hurting with her. In a way, I wished I hadn't of brought her here in the first place. I almost wished I hadn't asked her to marry me so suddenly. I wanted so badly to just start over with her, but I knew that would never happen. There was no going back now.

I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding and stood up. "I'm going inside." I say leaving her sitting on the beach. She never even looked up as I walked away.

Kai's POV

Hot tears ran down my cheeks as Cobie walked away from me, I wiped them away as fast as they fell. I wanted to run after him, to tell him that I was confused, but my body wouldn't move. Maybe he would give me the time I needed to sort this out in my head. I just wanted to get a better understanding of what was going on behind my back.

I pulled my cell phone out and looked at it. I squinted my eyes, trying to calculate the time difference from here to Colorado, wondering if it was too late in the day to call my mother. I scrolled through my contacts and hit the send button when I found the one that said "Home" I looked up at the house behind me, thinking that this was the place I lived the first four years of my life. This was probably more of a home than I ever had in Colorado.

The phone rang and rang on the other end, but no one picked up. I hung up and sighed. It would be like her to not answer.

Later that night:

Cobie's POV

I rolled over in the bed, for what seemed like the hundredth time and glanced at the clock. 1:30 am. Kai still hadn't come in. Maybe I should get up and check on her, I thought to myself as I tried to close my eyes. I wanted sleep to take over so I wouldn't have to think about anything for at least a few hours.

I closed my eyes and tried to relax. Just as I was about to fall asleep I heard the door slowly open. My eyes flew open when I felt her sit down on the side of the bed. I could tell she had just gotten out of the shower.

"You smell good." I say quietly, breaking the silence. "Thanks." she mumbles as she lays down beside me. I wanted badly to reach out and touch her, let her know that I still loved her and cared for her. But something kept me from doing so.

"I was getting worried about you." I say as she pulls the covers up to her chin. I turned the bedside lamp on, so that I could see her face. She blinks and few times, adjusting to the light and says "Thanks." again, before closing her eyes.

I was becoming increasingly irritated. "You don't have to take this out on me, you know."

"I'm not taking anything out on you." she says, eyes still closed.

"Why aren't you talking to me?"

"We're talking now."

"That's not what I mean Kai and you know it." I say harshly, as she starts to cry.

I let her cry a few minutes before pulling her into my arms. "It'll be okay. I promise. I'm sorry." I say holding her as she sobs into my chest. "Please don't cry...I hate when you cry, it breaks my heart." I say rubbing my hand up and down her back.

"I will always love you, no matter what happens." I say kissing her forehead.

Kai's POV

I slowly moved Cobie's arm from my waist and sat up on the side of the bed, rubbing my head. I had been awake all night long and the sun was starting to rise, I could see it peeking in through the curtains. I walked quietly around the bed, slid a pair of shorts on and walked out of the bedroom.

His father was already up and drinking coffee. He looks up, surprised as I walk into the kitchen. "Morning." I say softly. He gives a brief smile and takes another sip of coffee. "Good morning Kai."

"I was hoping I was the only one up at this time of day." I say with a nervous laugh, as I sit down beside him at the kitchen table. He smiles that warm Chapman smile and says "Me too." with a laugh.

"Everything okay...with you I mean?" I say quietly, as I bit my fingernail, a bad habit I had picked up from my dad.

"Don't worry about me, I've been dealing with this for fourteen years." Leland says sadly. I shook my head slowly, thinking about the past fourteen years. It had seemed so normal and uneventful to me. I was never aware of what was going on here, with him. I couldn't imagine dealing with something so painful for so many years and never knowing the truth.

"I'm sorry...about my mom and what she did to you. I didn't know, I promise I would have found you if I did...." I say, looking away, not able to look him in the eyes.

"Don't ever blame yourself for what your mother did, Kai. How could you have known?" he says with a shrug of his shoulders as he places a warm tanned hand over mine.

"When I came here with Cobie, during spring break, I had this dream..." I say, thinking back to that night. "I dreamed of this man with long brown hair and he was playing with me on the beach. I asked him why he couldn't be my daddy. But before he answered I woke up." I tell him.

He closes his eyes slowly. Blocking out a memory, one that Ive no doubt resurrected. "I remember that day..." he says trailing off, still lost in thought. "It was only a few days before your mother left. You had just started daycare."

Fourteen Years Ago:

"Uncle Leland, I love you." Kai says sitting down in my lap as we play in the sand. "I love you too sweet pea." I say, pulling her hair into a ponytail, trying to get it out of her eyes.

"Do you love me like a daddy does?" she says looking over her shoulder at me. My heart clinched in my chest. "I love you more than a daddy ever could....you're my favorite girl." I say looking down at her.

She smiles and goes back to playing in the sand, content with my answer. Until a few minutes later. "Can you be my daddy? I don't have one and all my friends at school do." she says sadly. I stare at this sweet child standing in front of me, asking me to be her father and say, "Anything you ever wanted, I would do for you."

Leland's POV

"It wasn't a dream." she says as a few tears escape the corners of her eye. "I knew it felt so real. It was you. You really did love me." she says, crying.

"I never stopped loving you." I whisper, moving from my seat to pull her into my arms. I held her as she cried, I wanted desperately to cry with her, to cry for the time we'd lost together. "Its okay. Everything is out in the open now." I say pushing the hair away from her face, like I had done many times when she was a little girl; my little girl.

"But, its not okay. Momma ran away from you, she left you alone. That wasn't right." she says looking up at me. "You told her you loved her and she ran...I don't remember a whole lot but I know I was probably upset." she says leaning back in the chair. "And daddy knew...he knew and he never told me. It makes my heart hurt to know that a huge part of my life has been hidden from me."

"Don't be angry with your dad, he was just trying to do what was best for everyone. He had his own girls to think about too." I say to her. She looks at me, almost stunned. "Am I not his daughter too?" she says sadly.

I closed my eyes briefly and sighed. "I didn't mean to imply that you weren't. I just mean, your mom was pregnant with his daughter, and that was a major factor in his decision to keep this secret for your mother. That’s all I meant baby."

I didn't know if that did much to ease her pain. For me personally, it didn't do a damn thing. In a way I was pissed off that both of them had hidden any secrets from Kai. I couldn't imagine living my life and then finding out that that it was built on lies.

"I know, I'm sorry." She says, interrupting my thoughts. "I'm just confused, I don't know what to think anymore. And on top of it all I've got Cobie to think about." She tells me. I nod my head in agreement. "I know he's not really my cousin, but now it just feels weird. I'm afraid I might look at him differently."

"Do you love him?" I ask her simply.

Leland's POV

"I do...." she says a little hesitantly but then smiles. I return the smile and say, "Well, there's your answer. If you truly love Cobie then everything will work its self out. He's a good man and I know he loves you. Every time we talk on the phone, you're the only thing he wants to talk about" I say with a smile, trying to make her feel better about this crazy situation.

"You make it sound so easy. " she says with a sigh. I open my mouth, about to give her some of my fatherly/uncle advice when there's a knock at the front door.

We look at each other and shrug. I leave her sitting at the kitchen table and make my way over to the front door and swing it open. I stand there paralyzed. Suddenly fourteen years of my life coming crashing down to into two words as she says "Hello Leland."

"Mya." I whisper, not sure if I had actually said it out loud. She brushes against my arm as she and her three daughters walk past me, breaking my trance. I turn quickly, "What are you doing here?" I ask accusingly, feeling almost angry that she had the nerve to show up at my house.

"I got a message from Kai yesterday saying she needed me, so I came as soon as I could." she says with no hint of emotion, almost like she hadn't been gone. I wanted to hug her, slap her and kiss her all at one time. The feeling was almost overwhelming as we stood just feet from one another.

"Let me wake up Duane Lee." I tell them, giving Kai, her sisters and their mother a moment to catch up.

I walked slowly down the hallway to the guest bedroom my brother was sleeping in. I lifted my hand up to knock and slowly put it back down. What do I say? I wondered to myself. Shaking the thought from my head, I knocked lightly and turned the door knob, shutting the door behind me.

"Wake up bra" I say shaking his shoulder. He mumbles something and opens his eyes. "Whats going on?" he ask, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and sitting up in the bed.

"Mya's here." I whisper.

"Shit." he says, running a hand through his hair.

Leland's POV

After Duane got dressed we walked out of the room together. Cobie had apparently heard the commotion and was already standing in the living room talking to Kai and her sisters; who were the spitting image of my brother.

"There's my girls." Duane Lee says opening his arms as they coming running toward him. I was envious of their love for him. I was even envious of him, he had it all. It cut me like a knife when he kissed Mya and pulled her into his arms. I had to turn away.

"You don't seem surprised to see me." I say to Mya as we all sit down in the living room. She gives me a weak smile and says "Kai filled me in on some of the details when she called."

"Girls why don't you give the three of us some time to talk." Duane Lee says to his daughters. They leave us sitting alone in my living room. I stared out the window, watching the kids playing on the beach. Duane Lee stared at Mya, while Mya stared and Me. I couldn't look her in the eyes. I was afraid my heart might shatter.

She hadn't aged very much since the last time I saw her. She looked more mature and put together. She wore expensive designer clothes and carried a fancy purse. I guess thats what money and motherhood did for you.

I ran a sweaty hand across my forehead. Trying to calm myself down, as my eyes stayed fixated on the kids.

Mya's POV

I kept my eyes focused on Leland. Part of me wanting to intimidate him, part of me trying to soak his image in. He was as sexy now as he was the day I left. I don't think he had aged a day in fourteen years. His hair was a little shorter and he had gained a little weight, but he was everything I remember.

"Look, I know this is awkward." my husband says interrupting my thoughts. I turn my head and giving him my full attention while still managing to keep an eye on Leland.

"I don't think we have to solve every issue we all have, today." Duane Lee says as he looks to Leland and then to me. "What issues do we have?" Leland asks. "It seems to me they've all been solved for us. You left..." he says pointing to me. "...married my brother and had kids. I'm here living my life...what more is there to talk about?" he asks.

"Leland, I'm sorry." I say looking across the room at him. He couldn't fool me, He always did try to put up a brave front, I knew he was hurting. And I knew it was my fault.
Kai’s POV

“Cobie, can I talk to you?” I ask hesitantly from my spot on the sand. Only a few feet separated us as I turned to him. “I just wanted to tell you that I do love you. But this is a really confusing time for us…” I say, biting my lip, not sure where I wanted this conversation to end up.

“But?” He asks, with a sideways glance

“But…I don’t know. I really don’t know what to do, or say, or where to go from here. I want to think that our parent’s relationship has nothing to do with us, but it does. My mother’s a little f**ked up…and I believe she f**ked your dad up along the way.”

Cobie sighs, running a hand across his forehead, something he always did when he was trying to figure out what to say next.

But the words never came as we sat in the sand staring at one another while my three sisters played a few feet away. I turned my attention to them, wishing to be that age again; to be carefree and not be faced with something as heartbreaking as the situation that my mother put us all in.

“Kai?” My sister Aiyana’s voice broke through my thoughts. I turned to my left, giving her my attention, as I squinted to block out midday sun.

“What’s going on? With mom and dad, I mean?” She asks as she sits down next to me.

I could feel Cobie leaning around me; he too was wondering the same thing. “It’s very complicated and I really don’t know how to explain it to you.” I say, with a weak smile.

“I'm not a baby anymore Kai. I can handle the truth.” She says crossing her arms.

I closed my eyes briefly. My sister was right, she wasn’t a baby anymore, she was growing up and so was I; it was time to face the truth. But as much as I wanted to tell her, she had always been a momma’s girl, so in her eyes, mom could do no wrong. I didn’t want to change her perception of our mother; however skewed it may be.

“Just give me a little time to sort it out in my head, Aiyana. I promise I will tell you all about it very soon.”

My little sister rolls her eyes, and pushes herself up and off of the sand as I turned my attention back to Cobie.

“She’s old enough to know.” He says quietly, brushing some sand off of his arm. “She probably knows more than you give her credit for, you know?”

“That may be, but either way, I'm not ready to talk about it with her.” I reply, as I too push myself up and walk away from the conversation. I could hear Cobie cussing under his breath; whether it was directed at me or the situation, I didn’t know.

I walked a few feet into the water, letting the warmth of the ocean water take over. I had never felt as relaxed as I did when I was here; there was something so peaceful and calming about the ocean. I walked further into the water until I was standing waist deep; the gentle rocking of the waves calming my nerves as I floated up and down.

Leland’s POV

“I'm surprised he left you alone in here with me.” Mya says from across the room.

The only response I could give was a curt nod. I too was shocked that Duane Lee had left his wife and brother alone in the same room to sort things out. In most people’s world this wouldn’t be a problem but not long ago I had professed the love I had for my sister-in-law to my brother.

I smiled, shaking my head; it all sounded so ridiculous when I thought about it.

“I really don’t have much to say to you Mya. You made your feelings clear when you left years ago.” I say, angrily. If she was expecting my mood to have mellowed over the years, she was sadly mistaken. To say that I was bitter would be quite the understatement.

“I'm sorry, for what its worth.” She says, biting her lip.

“I'm not.” I reply coldly. “Actually…Actually, I'm glad you left. Because I found out sooner, rather than later; just how much of a bitch you really are.”

The words stung; that was all the satisfaction I needed to make myself feel better.

“You cant talk to me like that.” She says standing up, hands on hips.

“I can say whatever the f**k I wanna say to you Mya!” I yell across the living room as I stand up from the chair.

“My husband wont let you!” she returned with more venom.

“f**k your husband, and f**k you.” I say smugly; walking away from her and down the hall to my room. I closed the door, and sat heavily on the edge of the bed, running my hand over my face a few times. I knew fighting would never solve anything…but it was what we did best.

I look up as the door is suddenly flung open. “I walked away…that usually means the person doesn’t want you to follow them.” I say as if I were talking to a child. “Now run along to your husband.”

I grabbed her wrist as her hand flew through the air as she tried to slap me. “You’re so predictable.” I whisper, as I tighten my fingers around her wrist.

“You’re hurting me.” She says through clenched teeth as she raises her other hand.

“Mya…when will you learn? “ I say, now holding both wrists. “Baby, you’re never gonna out smart me.”

“I already did that years ago. You think I failed that pregnancy test? I didn’t even pee on the damn stick Leland. I knew I was pregnant before you ever came over. I lied to you, I knew I was having Duane Lee’s baby. I was trying to spare you the humiliation because you said you loved me.”