On the Morning Tide

Leland's POV

I thought that things we're running smoothly, it had been two months since Libby moved out of Mya's house and Mya and my brother seemed to be doing just fine; even if I didn't agree with the situation. But I was wrong, things were about to change again, and this time not in a good way.

"Leland, I need to talk to you." my brother says, sitting down in the chair opposite mine. "I'm gonna be moving out." he says, looking down at his hands.

"What do you mean? Where are you going? You're not moving in with Mya." My last sentence coming out as more of a statement than a question. "No man... I'm moving home, to Colorado. She told me she wants to work things out."

"What? That such bullshit. You've been divorced for over a year and now your Ex-wife wants to work it out with you. And you believe her. Are you that stupid?" I say running a hand through my hair, not believing what I was hearing.

"Its not stupid. Thats my family, its the only way I'm going to see my kids." he says standing up and walking away. "So you move in here, get Mya all worked up, wine and dine and f**k her and now you're leaving her? She cares about you. How could you do that?"

"Its not like I want to leave. I like Mya. I really do." he says defending himself. I couldn't believe the turn of events that happened in just a few short days. "You haven't told her have you?" I ask. He shakes his head. "I don't know how. I was hoping you would help me out." he says looking up.

There was no way I was telling Mya that he was leaving. I knew better. "I'm not doing your f**king dirty work. Its all on you brah." I say walking away from the conversation.

Two days later Duane Lee had all his things packed and ready to leave the Island for good when Mya comes out of her house just as he walks to his car. "I cant believe you would do this to me. You didn't even tell me. I just happened to see you moving your shit to the car" She says. "I'm sorry Mya." he tells her, as he gets in the car. "Coward." she screams walking toward him.

I was afraid she might hit him, as funny as that would be. "Just let him go." I say grabbing her from behind. "Let him go." I say again as she fights me to let her go. "Go to hell." she screams as he backs out of the driveway. "Calm down. He's not worth it Mya." I say holding her close to me as she cries. "Its okay...Where's Kai, is she with your dad?" I ask. She nods yes. The last thing I wanted was her to leave her daughter alone in the house. "Lets go in the house. Come on." I say putting my arm around her.

"Did you know he was leaving?" she demands, wiping her eyes off. "I just found out baby. I'm sorry he didn't tell you." I say rubbing her back, trying to calm her down. "I'm just pissed off. More so at myself than him... well at him too." she says with a sad laugh.

"Were you really that attached to him?" I ask her. I understood she had slept with him, but really, they had only been seeing each other for two months. "Its not that...its the whole thing about my grandmother and the fact that I slept with him... which I shouldn't have, because I didn't want to but I did... and now I regret it...I don't know Leland." she finally says sitting back on the couch.

"Well... why don't I get your dad to come help you around the office for a little while, now that he's gone. How about that?" I ask her. "I guess so." she says still sniffling.

"Go home and rest and we'll talk about this when you calm down. I promise things will get better" I tell her. I walk Mya back home and into her room to make sure she lays down. "Just remember, he didn't deserve you." I say to her as I close the bedroom door.

Leland's POV

I had to fly out to Oahu the next morning. So I left Mya and Sonny to tend to the office while I was gone for two weeks. I was kind of glad to have the distraction for a little while. It gave Mya a little time alone to sort out her problems and it gave me time to see my boys. When I came back things seemed to be fine. Mya was back to her normal self and Kai was happy to see me as usual.

"Ive been thinking about putting Kai in daycare." Mya says out of the blue. I look at her and then at Kai who's watching cartoons. "Why?" I question. She shrugs her shoulders and says "She needs to be around other children. She's with adults all day long."

"So what. She the smartest three year old I know." I argue back. "I don't want her in daycare." I tell her. I liked having her here, it was nice to have her running toward me and telling me she loved me every time I came through the door. It was hard to come by that kind of love.

"Well, I don't think you get a say so in it Leland." she says slamming her pen down.

"What is your problem? I ask standing up.

"I don't have a problem."

"Obviously you do." I say back to her

"I know whats best for MY child!" she says pointing to herself.

"Oh... so its like that?." I say harshly, crossing my arms.

"Like what? I raised her, I gave birth to her."

"I was there when you gave birth, I was there when she took her first breath. When she said her first word, I was there. When she took her first step I was there, and I was there when she got her first tooth. I helped you every step of the way and you know it! I love her. DAMN IT Mya, whats wrong with you today?"

She didn't answer, she simply picks her purse up, grabs Kai and storms out of the office and past her father who's walking in the door.

"Whats going on?" he asks me. "f**k if I know." I yell, throwing a water bottle across the room. "Ive been gone and I come back to all this bullshit and attitude. And now she wants to put Kai in daycare." I tell him before I slam the door and leave the office.

~~~~~~

A few days passed and I hadn't spoken to Mya. It hurt me because I loved Kai, but maybe Mya was right, I didn't get in say in what she did with her daughter. But it bothered me that she didn't even ask my opinion.

I knocked hard on Mya's front door. "Mya, open the damn door." I yelled as loud as I could. After the third time she finally throws the door open. "What is going on with you?" I say barging into her house. "I haven't seen or heard from you in almost a week. You need to tell me whats going on." I say, walking past her and into the living room.

"I'm sorry. Ive just had a lot on my mind... a lot to think about." she says running a hand through her hair. "I just needed a little time alone, is all." she says pacing back and forth.

"I'm worried about you. You've never acted like this." I say, pulling her by the hand to sit down. "I cant take the pacing back and forth babe. Sit down please"

"Leland?" she says nervously. "Do you know how I can get in touch with Duane Lee." she asks. What could she want with him. He left weeks ago, surely she didn't want him back after what happened. "You mean you want to talk to him?" I ask her.

She stands back up, staring out the window. "I have to." I stood up quickly. "What do you mean? You don't ever have to talk to him again Mya."

"I'm late." she says quietly

Leland's POV

"Your late for what?" I ask, suddenly realizing what she meant as the words left my mouth. "You're late." I say whisper, walking away from her, rubbing my forehead roughly with my hands. She couldn't be pregnant with my brothers child, not after what happened. I wondered how he might take it if she had to call and tell him.

He had just gotten back together with his wife... Would he claim the child, and ruin it with his wife or deny Mya and the child? I knew that either way things wouldn't end well and I might have to pick up the pieces.

"How could you be so stupid?" I ask from a distance. She turns around, tears in her eyes. "Please, not now Leland."

"Haven't you learned anything? You're smarter than this, aren't you? " I ask. She cowers away from me as I walk toward her. I stare at her for a moment before gently pulling her into me. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to come out so nasty." I say rubbing her back with my hands. "Did you take a pregnancy test? You have to be sure before you call him."

"I haven't taken one yet. I just kept waiting to see if it would come and it hasn't. Ive been so scared, I wanted to tell you I just didn't know how to." she cries into my chest. "I'm so ashamed of myself." she says.

"You don't know if your pregnant for sure. You need to be absolutely positive before you start losing sleep over it." I say with a sigh. She nods her head in understanding and I let go of her. "We'll get through this." We had to. We always got through whatever life threw at the two of us.

Two hours later I watched Mya pacing back and forth in her bathroom, waiting on the results of her test. "This has to be the longest three minutes in my life." she says with a sigh. I looked up at her, feeling sorry for her. But at the same time wondering how she managed to get her self into this situation again for what could be the third time, if you counted the miscarriage. I thought after Kai she would have learned not to take the risk.

I looked at my watch. "Its time." I tell her. She looks up, and then to the test laying on the counter. "I cant look." she tells me leaving the bathroom. She couldn't look and I didn't want to look. I stood up from my seat on the side of the bathtub. With all things, I felt like this was left up to me. At times I resented Mya for putting so much on my shoulders, but at the same time I was thankful that she trusted me as her friend.

Lately though, it had been harder and harder to just be her friend. I couldn't deny that I wanted more. I started to miss her when I flew out to film with my dad. If I ever had to go to Colorado, I found myself wondering what she was doing... wondering if she missed me?

I looked at my reflection in the mirror and sighed. "The things I do for you." I whisper, thinking about Mya. I picked up the pregnancy test from the counter and sat it back down slowly, wondering if this would change things between us?

"Mya?" I called as I walked out of the bathroom. She was standing on her balcony, just outside of her bedroom. It seemed to be her favorite place to be lately. I walked up behind her. "Don't tell me." she says, never breaking her stare with the ocean. "I wont tell you then." I say pretending to walk away.

"Wait..." she says reaching for me. I grab her hand and turn back around. "Its negative." I say smiling. The look of relief on her face was priceless. "Oh thank God." she says quietly, closing her eyes.

"My thoughts exactly." I say, still holding her hand. "I'm sorry if I let you down Leland." she says lowering her head. "Don't worry about what I think. You just worry about you, okay?" I ask, pulling her into a hug.

"Actually, I have been doing some thinking lately." she says pulling away from me. "Thinking about what?" I say slowly, almost scared of where this might lead. "I'm going back to my moms to visit... for a while. I talked to dad and he said he could help you out at the office." she says.

I didn't know what to say. I was so thrilled to find out she wasn't pregnant and now this? She wanted to go back to her moms for a while. I looked down at the floor. "I see." I say sadly and turn to walk away. I guess her not being pregnant would change things between us, but not the way I had wanted.

Leland's POV

My heart sank the morning I heard her drive away, I didn't know when I would see her or Kai again. She left with out even saying goodbye. "Damn it Duane Lee." I cussed slamming my front door shut. If it wasn't for him none of this shit would have happened.

I sat down at my desk in the office I kept at home, glancing at the calendar I noticed the date that was circled. "Kai's fourth birthday." was written in blue ink. I closed my eyes thinking back to the day she was born; how happy Mya was then. So much had happened in the past four years. I picked up the phone and dialed Mya's cell phone like I had done weekly for the past three weeks. I got her voice mail as always.

"Hey, its me." I say quietly. "Um, I'm calling to wish Kai a Happy Birthday. I miss you girls and I cant wait to see you again. Tell her that her Uncle Leland loves her and Ive got a big present waiting for her." I let out a long sigh "Bye" and slowly hung the phone up.

I pushed the chair back from the desk and headed down to the gym. Sonny told me he would be there this afternoon so I thought I would try not to mope around the house for once and get a work out in. Two hours later I walked back into my house. The light on my answering machine was blinking. I pushed the button down and listened to the messages as I turned the water on in the shower.

One from my dad, I hit erase after he finished talking. The next message came on as I took my shirt off. "Uncle Leland? Are you there? Today is my birthday, I had lots of cake that my granny got me" I could hear Kai's little voice on the machine. I smiled, closing my eyes as she talked and talked to the answering machine. "I miss you a lot. When do I get to see you?" she says toward the end of the message. "Momma says I have to go. I love you." she says before hanging up. I swallowed hard, blinking away a few tears. "I love you too baby." I say to myself as I stepped into the shower.

Another three weeks had passed and I hadn't heard from Mya. I was more hurt than mad at this point. She was my best friend, the only person in the world I trusted with my secrets, yet she couldn't trust me when she had a problem? No, she ran home to momma when things got tough. I tried to shake the thought from my head as I pulled into the parking lot at work. Sonny was already there, always punctual I thought as I made my way up the stairs just outside my office.

"Heard anything?" was always my first question when I saw him. He gave me the same sad smile every time. "The last time I talked to her mom she told me Mya and Kai were fine and that Mya would call when she was ready. Thats all she would tell me. I'm sorry." he says apologetically. "Its not your fault. You didn't run her off." Apparently I had done that by myself.

I left work earlier than usually that day. It had become almost unbearable to be there without Mya and Kai. Both of them giggling and singing silly songs to each other. I missed Kai sitting in my lap looking through my files with me like she new exactly what was going on.

Then it hit me, I wondered what would I do if there ever came a day when she met someone and got married? What if she moved away? What if her husband didn't like me and I wasn't allowed to see her again? I looked up from the magazine I was reading and decided that I couldn't let that happen. I was in love with Mya and no one would stand in my way.

That night I heard a car door shut and my heart skipped a beat. I stood up and ran to the window, pushing open the blinds with my fingers. Mya was home. Despite being pissed that she had left, I was smiling like a jackass. I gripped the curtains in my hands, trying to resist the urge to run to her house. I could see Kai pulling at her mothers arm, pointing to my house trying to pull her toward it, at least she wanted to see me. I smiled broadly, she had gotten so big in the past six weeks. I turned toward the door but stopped short. No, I thought to myself, she would have to come to me. I had to wait six weeks to see her, I could stand a few more hours.

Leland's POV

I woke up late the next afternoon. I had stayed up most of the night waiting for a call or knock, but it never came. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and made my way into the kitchen. There was a knock at the door ten minutes later. My heart was pounding as I walked toward it. It had to be her, no one else ever came to my house.

I took a deep breath to calm myself down and pulled open the door. Kai came plowing into me, knocking me down. "I'm home Uncle Leland. Did you miss me. You said you had a present for me. Can I have it now?" she asked about a hundred miles an hour. I closed my eyes, holding her as tight as I could. "I'm so glad your back baby. I did miss you, very very much." I say kissing her forehead and pulling back to look at her. "You've gotten so big, haven't you?" I ask pulling her into me again and trying to stand up.

I look up seeing Mya standing there watching the two of us. She had her arms crossed, a sad smile played on her lips. "Mya." I said quietly pulling her into my hug with Kai. She stood there a moment before putting her arm around me. "I'm so glad your home." I say, my nose buried in her hair.

She didn't say much that afternoon. Kai did most of the talking, her large vocabulary had grown even bigger since she had been gone. "We better head home Kai. Grandpa is coming to pick you up so you can spend the night with him tonight." she says holding her hand out for Kai to grab. We said our goodbye's and I walked them to the door. "Bye Leland." she says walking out of my house.

By midnight that night I was at the point where Id had enough. I walked out of my house slamming the door shut and walked next door. I took my key out and opened her door. I knew it might be considered an invasion of privacy considering everything that had gone on the past two months, but at this point I didn't care. I was going to settle things once and for all. I tiptoed up the stairs, walking into her room. Mya was lying on her back, her bare shoulders the only thing visible above the covers. I swallowed hard, mentally telling myself to calm down.

I sat gently on the side of her bed. She stirred and rolled onto her side. I smiled, brushing her long dark hair off of her shoulders, my fingers grazing the skin just behind her ears. "Ive always loved you." I say quietly against her shoulder as I bent down, resting my forehead against her smooth skin. I inhaled her sweet scent as I kissed her neck softly. "You're everything I ever wanted Mya."

Mya's POV

It was that dream again. But it felt so real...

His fingertips grazed the sensitive skin just behind my ear. I shuddered as he whispered sweet words against my neck. His voice was a gentle caress to calm my beating heart.

"So beautiful." he whispers, weaving his hands through my hair. My face comes into focus, though I couldn't see his. Rough lips claim mine. A soft gasp as pulls my bottom lip between his teeth.

"Tell me why you've come here?" I say hoarsely. "I want to know you. Know who you are..." He replies softly.

Leland's POV

"So beautiful" I whisper, weaving my hands through her hair. She turns her head toward me. I couldn't see her eyes, but knew she was awake. I kissed her lips gently. She hesitantly kissed me back. A soft moan escaped her lips as I pulled her bottom lip between my teeth.

"Tell me why you've come here?" she says hoarsely. "I want to know you. Know who you are when you're someone other than my friend." I say quietly. "I want to know what its like to kiss you." I say, gently touching my lips to hers. "I want to know what its like to love you freely, the way Ive wanted to for so long." I whisper, against her lips.

"You know I dreamed about this years ago. Only, I didn't know it was you." she says turning away from me, pulling the cover up to her chin. "Its always been me, Mya."

Leland's POV

I reach out to touch her bare shoulder and she pulls away from me. "You can just come into my room in the middle of the night and expect me to change our whole relationship." she tells me.

"I'm not expecting you to change anything, I'm not asking that. I just want you to know how I feel." And with that I was gone. Out of her room and down the stairs. She didn't bother to follow me.

I didn't sleep at all that night, or the two nights after, looking out my window at her house, I was afraid it might be another two nights before I saw her again. I don't know what possessed me to make such a fool out of myself. I really did love her, so much that it hurt sometimes. Maybe she didn't understand it.

That morning she walked into my house, unannounced and found me leaning against the kitchen sink drinking coffee. "You know it wont work between us Leland. I think its a bad idea to even try." she says, crossing her arms. I stood there not saying a word. "You cant say you love me...you just cant." she says walking back and forth across the tiny kitchen. "It just wouldn't work....we're too different." she says finally.

"Thats bullshit and you know it." I say as she comes to a stop in front of me. "You're scared." I say crossing my arms. She looks up suddenly. "I'm not scared. I just don't want to lose you or our friendship."

"Bull f**king shit." I say angrily, slamming my cup down, spilling coffee on the counter top. "Did you ever stop to think that it might be better than what we have now? .... Have you?" I ask her. She shakes her head no. "So how do you know?" I ask with a smirk. "You don't. Thats the problem. You're scared of what you don't know." I say pointing a finger at her.

"And you're not scared?" she asks leaning one hip against the counter, raising her eyebrow. "No. Because I know that no matter what, you will always be a part of my life. Friends or not. You're a part of me." I say, holding my hand over my heart.

"Don't you want to take a risk in your life? You don't seem to have a problem doing it with anyone else, why stop now?" I say louder than necessary."Do you not understand how hard this was for me?" I say covering my face with my hands.

"I would do anything for you Mya. Without question or hesitation. I sat here day after day for six weeks without hearing from you and it almost killed me. Do you even care?" I say running a hand roughly through my hair.

"Of course I care. But we just cant be together. Im sorry."