Earth to Me

The rest of my guardian peers either truly didn’t mind watching me sleep, or they were doing a really good job at hiding their grudge. For the rest of the tour, I slept with someone sitting next to my bunk, two different people per night. I could drift off with Andy by my side and wake up to see Chuck next to me, and the whole time, Violence Ladies kept insisting that we didn’t need to keep up our “gimmick” around them for so long.

Man, I wish it was just a gimmick.

Regardless, everybody’s energy levels didn’t seem to change, even if I was only spared the nightmare one or two nights out of each week. Things kept getting clearer in the dream, and the longer it went on, the more often “hELL” instead read as, “hELP.”

Needless to say, I definitely appreciated whoever woke me up on those nights.

The tour kept going steady, and it wasn’t long before everybody was back in The Swing of Things. (I’m sorry, but that tour name was just ripe with pun opportunities.) Both bands powered on with more intensity every night, and every day I just had to thank the Heavens for giving me such a blessing.

My dad called me every few nights and texted me whenever he could, always asking how things were going, and I was honest. Every day was crazy in its own way, and the stupid nightmares I kept getting certainly weren’t helping. The concern in his voice when I told him about them was tangible, but I didn’t tell him that I was throwing invisible sparks in my sleep. He…didn’t have to know about that.

“Be safe, mijo,” he always said before we hung up. “Te amo mucho.”

“Love you too, papá,” I consistently smiled back.

Like any good thing, though, the tour eventually had to come to a close. The last show was back in our native Chicago, which meant that while we didn’t have to travel very far when it was done, Violence Ladies would have to catch a plane or drive forever to get back. The last day was bittersweet – as soon as we started taking all the familiar exits to find our way home, I knew I’d soon be sleeping in my own bed but without my friends watching over me.

Just as the first show was crammed with Violence Ladies fans due to it being nearer to their home, the Chicago finale was jam-packed with people who were eager to see Chi-town’s favorite pop punks. There was a line outside the venue even when we pulled up in our giant tour bus to get backstage, and I don’t think I even need to tell you how many people went bananas when both bands took a quick walk down the line to shake a few hands and invade a few selfies.

After that, soundcheck was underway, and Tegan and I set up Put’emup, Put’emup’s merch booth for the last time in a long time. Getting the wall of shirts and hoodies ready was painstaking and I made sure to have it as neat as possible. I knew the place would look like a tornado hit it by the end of the night, but there was no harm in having a good start.

Doors opened at seven. Me and Tegan were hanging backstage before things were underway for what felt like just another night, and when we checked the time, we ran over to the booth to keep things ship-shape.

Like always, there was a huge rush at the beginning, and later on as it came closer to the time Violence Ladies would start, the crowd dwindled. Before we knew it, most kids were bundled up close to each other to secure their spot in the audience, not in line at either merch booth.

We sat on a few metal folding chairs in order to savor our break, but the second we took a seat and started to relax, something made Tegan jump up. With her sudden movement, I yanked my head over to see what happened – and I could’ve crapped myself in shock.

It was Murray. He stood in front of the merch booth, smiling with his mouth wide open, not saying a word to us at first.

“What the hell are you guys doing here?! I didn’t know you were their actual merch team!” he finally gushed, leaning forward and talking with his hands. “I saw pictures online, but nobody ever looked like you, so I just assumed you were here in Chicago the whole time.”

It probably wasn’t as big a deal as I first thought it was, but at that moment, I felt a rush of trapped gas from the realization that I had lied to one of my closest friends. Well…it wasn’t really a lie. I just wasn’t telling him the whole truth, I guess.

I turned even redder and rubbed the back of my neck, slapping his hand since he was holding his out for a high-five. “Yeah, we’ve helped out with their tour a little bit.”

“You’re playing it off like it’s just some little thing,” Murray laughed. “Have you gone along for the whole thing or just here in Chicago?”

Tegan had her arms crossed smugly. “The whole tour. It’s been a blast.”

“Um, duh, I’m sure it was! That’s awesome – do you know how neat this is gonna look on you guys’ resumes?” he kept on smiling. Even in the packed venue, amongst all the heat, he hardly looked tired. “This has to be the coolest summer job on the planet.”

“True, true,” I agreed, still completely dumbstruck at the fact that Murray was standing in front of me. I totally forgot that I said I’d go to a show with him when we moved out of the dorms…well, I’m sure that night counted for something.

Still, there was a gurgling in the pit of my stomach – and no, it wasn’t hunger. When I looked at him, he looked absolutely happy, like he wasn’t mad at all that we hadn’t talked in person all summer. I wanted to tell him everything. How I was in cahoots with Put’emup, Put’emup because we were all guardians of the planet for one choice day, how I was the one causing the power surges in our dorm.

I couldn’t. I didn’t want to ruin everything and wipe the smile from his friendly face; he did nothing to deserve it.

Murray clapped his hands together and looked right at me this time instead of alternating between me and Tegan. “God, I completely forgot I was gonna buy a shirt here. I just saw you two and then I remembered everything about New Years, and then it made sense. Can I get the speech bubble shirt in a medium?”

Tegan took his cash and I handed him the shirt he asked for, and after a few quick hugs, he said goodnight and good luck to us, disappearing into the crowd. He was a taller guy, so standing at the front wasn’t totally necessary, but who wants to stand in the back at a rock concert?

During the whole concert, he was all I could think about. It was the last show of the tour and soon enough I’d be kicking it back there in Chicago suburbia while waiting for college to start back up, and it left me more than enough time to talk to him some more. Being roommates allowed for us to be in each other’s business 24/7, but being friends prompted more than that.

I don’t know why he was stuck on my mind, but he was, and without missing a beat, the final show of The Swing of Things Tour had whizzed by right in front of me.

After the usual post-show rush, it was time to gather onto the bus for the last time that night. We’d spend the night at the band’s apartment before heading to our homes the next day, and the bus remained empty for a while longer than usual. I was the first on alongside Tegan and a few other crew members; the bands stayed around the venue well after the concert to sign stuff and meet fans.

I was content to sit in the front lounge and enjoy the peace, letting my ringing ears calm down. With my phone at my fingertips, I checked my messages – one from Dad that said, “cannot wait to have u home oshie!!” and another one from Murray. “txt me when u can!!!!” it read.

Immediately I started typing. “hey murray, whats up? c:”

Seconds later, my phone vibrated just as people were walking back and forth along the bus. “i still think its cool as HECK that u actually TOURED w/peupeu and the ‘ladies this summer. mad jealous.”

I sighed, chewing the inside of my cheek. “im sorry i didn’t tell u sooner dude”

“wtf r u apologing for??” he messaged again.

“idk i just felt like poop after seeing you and realizing i didn’t tell u what i was up to lmao.”

“dude, don’t feel bad!! i think its totally cool and i don’t even care u didn’t tell me, i understand haha,” he texted. Man, he was a fast texter.

I caught myself smiling at my stupid phone right as Mick opened the door to the bus and trotted up the stairs. He had a towel around his neck and sweat dripping from his shaggy coffee-colored hair, and when he saw me, he gave me a little wave and said, “Hey Oshie.”

I just nodded back at him and texted, “i still feel bad lol”

“don’t feel bad, olayos. but i do have 1 request – u have to tell me everything when we move back in together! i wanna know everything :D,” he responded. I could hear his voice behind the words, not an ounce of betrayal or anger.

When I messaged back, “it’s a deal! c:,” I had the biggest dumb smile on my face and I didn’t even realize it until it was pointed out to me.

In fact, Mick was the one who did it. He was still in the front lounge of the bus, chugging a whole water bottle, and he didn’t even acknowledge Chance or Andy when they came in – he just pointed at me with a sly smirk and teased, “Texting your boyfriend? Girlfriend? Significant other in general?”

To make matters worse, my reply was a lot louder than I intended. “No, I’m texting my roommate!”

He held up his free hand and laughed out loud just as Chance caught the words and snorted too. “Damn, I was just kidding, but okay! I’m just sayin’, if I was texting my roommate, I wouldn’t have a smile that big,” Mick said.

“But I’m your roommate, technically,” Chance rebutted, poking Mick in the stomach. “We all are. And you love all of us, but especially me, so you’d be smiling too.”

“While I won’t deny that fact,” Mick said, pointing back at me, “I’m just saying, he’s smiling a little too big for it to be that simple.”

Andy just winked at me. Not a word. Just a wink. (I never truly hated him for any moment in my life, but right then it was hard not to.)

Tegan emerged from the bunk area in her pajamas. “Are you talking to Murray?” she asked me, the same giveaway smirk on her bright face.

“Y-yeah,” I stuttered, knowing for a fact that she’d just join in too.

And that wasn’t the end, either – I must’ve missed seeing Chuck and Riley get on the bus, because Riley just jumped out from behind Tegan and shouted, “Wait, Oshie’s got a boyfriend?! When did this happen?! Chuck owes me twenty bucks!”

I didn’t even bother fighting back. I just buried my face in my hands again, just like I did when I cried like a baby in front of the rest of the guardians, except this time I wasn’t crying. I was the happiest I’d been in a long time, and part of the reason why I was hiding my face was so that nobody would see the gigantic crap-eating grin plastered to my lips. I was glad that they were glad, but in general I was just happy about everything lining up, even for just a second.