‹ Prequel: Generation Why Bother
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Earth to Me

I Hate to Burst Your Bubble, But...

I was among the stars again a few nights later.

And I wasn’t alone, of course, unlike all the times I used to think I was alone in the universe, but we’re never truly by ourselves, are we? Even in my dreams, there was always someone by my side. My nightmares are a different story.

The stars were hazy in my dream-vision, and I struggled to stay conscious in my unconsciousness. I could hear my own breathing, heavy in my lungs despite the vacuum I was drifting through. I looked around the best I could, squinting at the sun in the distance, focusing in on all of the planets surrounding me. For a while I really thought I was alone again, but there was a hope that kept me grounded.

I even found myself smiling. I was in a place I had been before, even if it was just once, and it was so much better than cryptic pleas for help or blankness.

Slowly, though, something enveloped me. I could see a pink film encircle me, taking me in its grip; I didn’t feel a thing and it didn’t hurt me, nor did it cut off my breathing, but seeing it happen had shaken me into a state of hypersensitivity. Suddenly I was panicking again.

I reached up to see if I could touch it, but it was like a 3D movie – it had no substance, no depth, and the further I reached, the further away it seemed. I tried to breathe like I did before, slowly inhaling and exhaling to keep calm. It was almost like falling asleep again.

The bubble melted away, and I realized that there was something holding me steady in space. When I focused my vision back into my dream, I saw who was holding me.

My mom had returned, or rather, I had returned to her. One arm wrapped around my shoulder and the other holding me under my knees, she carried me like a little kid too tired to tuck himself into bed, and when I met her hazel eyes again, she smiled sweetly and I just knew. I didn’t know what I knew, but I was just certain that something was sure in the universe.

I smiled back up at her and blinked, absolutely exhausted for whatever reason. I wanted to bury my face in her shoulder, but I couldn’t find the energy.

“Shhh, Oshie,” she ushered, her tone peaceful, “you are tired. Just sleep for now, mijo.”

I made some kind of sleepy noise and cuddled into her arms, thankful for her presence.

“Stay in the stars for a little while. I will send you back home when you are rested,” Mom whispered. “I know tomorrow is a weekend and you do not have classes. Sleep for as long as you like, mi cariño.”

I must have been weightless for her to carry me so easily. She did it with no effort, no strain in her breathing, not a single knot in her beautiful hair. The stars that crowned her head sparkled like the sun, and when I closed my eyes, vague splotches of calming pinks, blues, and yellows danced behind my eyelids – a lullaby of sorts.

“Mamá, don’t let go,” I slurred, already falling into a slumber.

She didn’t.

I fell asleep and dreamed within my dream, colors and stars blinking against a black background. Music played in my head, songs I had never even heard before, songs I forgot when I woke up once and for all. Most of all, I couldn’t move a muscle, and it felt fantastic. I knew it was just an illusion, that I would wake up and soon be back with Murray and Tegan for an average Saturday, but I cherished it anyway.

Too soon, I lost my grip on dreamland, and the sunlight peering in through the dorm window was shining brightly in my face.

The alarm clock on my bedstand read, “11:52.” I had gone to bed at around midnight.

Despite sleeping for almost twelve hours (I swear, I’m not normally that lazy), my limbs weren’t heavy, and it wasn’t a chore to open my eyes. Usually if I slept for too long, I’d just end up exhausted by default and it would set a horrible tone for the rest of the day; I just guessed Mom really did help me rest last night.

I rubbed my eyes and wiped the drool trail off of my cheek, groaning as I rolled over and stared at the ceiling. It was a good night.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Murray teased, sitting criss-cross on his bed. He already looked like he was ready to take on the day. “Did you get a good night’s sleep?”

“Hmm, yeah,” I hummed, sitting up and stretching.

He gestured towards the lights. “I guess you didn’t dream last night, right? There wasn’t a power surge or anything. You were sawing logs, dude.”

“No, I dreamed,” I mumbled. “Wasn’t a nightmare, though. It was about my mom.”

“Oh.” He paused and scratched his face. “Hm. Well, there wasn’t a surge last night from what I saw. I watched you until around five, then Tegan came in and took over. But I woke up at ten so I just stayed here and let her sleep a little more.”

I didn’t process any of that, so I just nodded.

“Now, get your ass outta bed and get ready, ‘cause we gotta get groceries,” he smiled, uncrossing his legs and letting them hang over the edge of his bed. “I’m starving though, so let’s get lunch first.”

“Alright, alright, hold your horses,” I ushered. My senses were bright and awake despite it being just minutes after waking up, and I couldn’t even keep from smiling when I changed into something presentable for the day. I had finally slept well for a night, and I actually dreamed without causing a weird little power surge that the maintenance workers were getting all stressed about. The rest of the day was bound to be great.

-------

Frankly, it was.

The year was speeding by and the temperatures were getting cooler – heck, that next Thursday was Halloween – and of course, that meant that there were a ton of sales on candy at the grocery store. It was probably horrible in hindsight, having that sort of stash in our rooms, but the three of us really didn’t care.

Lunch at the dining hall wasn’t all bad, either. It wasn’t much to write home about, though it wasn’t horrible, and that’s alright in my book. Heck, the day was so nice that me, Tegan, and Murray just walked around campus for a little while, soaking up the good vibes in the air.

At around four, though, we headed back to our dorms with no real plan in mind. Tegan would probably come over later that night and we could watch movies or TV, maybe play a few video games, and it would become an even better day, but we just played it by ear.

Of course earlier that day, I told Tegan about how I dreamed about my mom with no electricity breaking loose from my body, and she grinned and said it was a good sign. I already knew it was, but hearing her say it somehow made it feel more certain. It was a quick mention, and after we talked briefly about it on our walk around campus, we didn’t drag it on.

When we got back to our rooms, though, almost immediately after I flipped open my sketchbook to start doodling out a few things I thought about in space, my phone vibrated. I jumped a good few inches in my seat out of shock (nobody ever really called me), and when I saw that the caller ID said, “Dad,” I immediately answered.

“Hi, Dad,” I said, putting my sketchbook aside.

“Hey, Oshie,” he replied, his voice the same as it ever was, “how are you doing?”

I looked around for some reason. Everything was ship-shape, and that was alright with me. “I’m good, what about you?”

“I’m fine, I just miss you, that is all,” he laughed. I could just imagine him leaning against the wall of our kitchen, his hand in one pocket. “Nowadays whenever I talk to Tracey, it seems like all we do is talk about you kids.”

“I’m less than an hour away, papá,” I smirked. From across the room, I could hear Murray snicker.

“And I guess living on-campus is a better way to prepare for living on your own, but it is still strange to not have you around, even if we have done this before,” he sighed. It was a tough choice to make, living in the dorms rather than at home. “The house is quiet without you and Tegan making noise here.”

“Yeah, I can imagine,” I added. Over the phone, I couldn’t just nod and shrug like I normally would. Even if the words were meaningless, I had to say something.

“So how are your classes so far? How is your roommate?” he asked away.

“Classes are fine, same-old, same-old. Not a fan of studying, but I gotta do it if I wanna get honors again this year,” I kind of rambled. “Murray’s good, too. He’s kind of a nerd, but he’s alright.”

“Hey, I heard that,” Murray said, squinting.

I laughed and I’m sure Dad heard it, because he did the same. “How is Tegan? Has she made friends with her roommate?”

“Not that I know of. They just kinda live with each other, as far as I know,” I shrugged. Tegan never mentioned her, and as far as I was concerned, she didn’t exist. “At least she doesn’t make Shira jealous, though.”

Dad’s first contact with Shira involved her nearly killing him, so he scoffed and snorted. “I still cannot believe Tegan is with that alien girl.”

My dad, an outsider, was still getting used to our intergalactic ties, so of course Murray’s reaction to Shira actually being an alien was interesting, to say the least. (“Dude, I can imagine their pickup lines. ‘Hey babe, you’re outta this world.’ Get it, Osh? ‘Cause, like, she’s an alien? …C’mon, you’re not laughing.”)

“I dunno, they’re cute. Plus, Shira comes over every Sunday so it lets me and Murray hang out, as if we don’t already do that enough,” I went on, picking at my fingernails.

“I’m really glad you’re making friends with your roommate, mijo. Every time I meet him, he seems so nice.” A breeze picked up in the background. “Well, honestly, I’m proud of you for going to college in the first place. Lord knows I could not do that.” He laughed, but there was a little bit of pain in it. “Murray – he is the one that watches you when you sleep, right?”

I couldn’t help but snicker at the phrasing. “Uh, I mean, if you wanna put it like that…”

“You know what I mean, Oshie.”

“Yeah, he does that,” I gave in, still smirking. I told my dad about the nightmares every so often and of course he was concerned, though there wasn’t much he could do – not that it was his fault in the first place.

“You are still getting nightmares, then?” he said quietly. “Is it stress? Are you okay out there?”

“Yes, papá, I’m fine,” I insisted. “They’re getting a little weird, but it’s nothing to get all worked up over.”

“How are they getting weird? Are you still waking up with your lightning?”

“Well, I made a few power surges for a while there. At least, I did whenever I had a nightmare,” I explained. “A little while ago I woke up and I was making sparks. Explaining that one to Murray was a real doozy, that’s for sure.”

Dad actually laughed out loud. “Now he knows how I feel! Were you hurt that night?”

“No, and I didn’t shock anybody else. And it didn’t happen again, and, like, last night…I didn’t even do the power surge thing, and I still dreamed,” I went on.

“Hm,” he said, pausing. After a moment of silence, he asked, “What was your dream? Was it still a nightmare?”

Okay. When I was younger, I would always dream about my mom, and most of the time I would wake up and tell my dad about it. He would smile and say it was because she was talking to us from Heaven, and then eventually I just stopped mentioning it. He never asked me about it. So naturally, I hesitated before telling the truth. “Um, it wasn’t…yeah, it was just a normal dream. I was in space, and, uh…Mom was there.”

“Oh,” he said casually.

“So it was a good dream, actually. Didn’t make a power surge, didn’t throw sparks,” I spoke, trying to sound lighthearted.

“You dreamed about your mother,” he reiterated, as if he were saying it to himself. “That is a good thing. That is great, honestly. It is almost like she is watching over you.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. In a way, she probably was.

“And if this goes along with all of the other funny stuff you have had to go through, like I think it does, it might happen again.” There was a smile in his voice again.

I kept myself from saying that it had already happened once before. “I wouldn’t mind.”

“Just keep the stress to a minimum, relax, and do well in your classes, mijo,” Dad instructed. “You will get good dreams again. This is probably foreshadowing or something.”

(Believe me, I knew a thing or two about foreshadowing.) “Yeah, probably. I’ll keep on keepin’ on, Dad.”

“Good. I will let you go now, mijo. You are probably hanging out with your friends right now, anyway.” He yawned.

“Eh, I’m just in my dorm right now, but I can talk to you later online if you want,” I told him, shrugging.

I could almost hear him shake his head. “No, no, spend your Saturday with your friends, relax, do not worry about little old me!”

I laughed a little, saying, “Okay, fine! I’ll talk to you tomorrow, then.”

“Alright, that sounds good,” he stated. “Be safe, Oshie. I love you.”

“Love you too, papá,” I finished, smiling into the receiver.

He hung up and I tossed my phone back onto my bedstand, where it would probably sit for hours without any activity once again. When I opened my sketchbook back up, I remembered that I was going to try to draw space as I saw it in my dream, but I didn’t know where to begin. There was no finite end to it all, no boundaries that I saw.

I could try to draw my mom, I thought. Would I even remember how it all felt to see her after such a long time? I always remembered what she looked like in photos. I could hardly recall the way she moved when I was a toddler, though, while seeing her with me in space was incredible enough to be burnt into my mind forever.

I tried to sketch her out. Her nose, eyes, lips, hair, dress made of translucent stars, the way she held me. I was only a few lines in before I felt like I had something, and when I sat back and looked at the paper, it all looked so familiar. I drew my mom the way I saw her, and I’d always have the page to prove it. It was the best drawing I’d ever done, that’s for sure.

I never saw the usual nightmare again. That night, it was stars and colors in my head with music I couldn’t recall when I woke up, and I was perfectly fine with that.
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Just a corny little feel-good chapter. X"D