Missing You

There was something about the rain that demanded my attention. It was like a siren’s call to my ears as it hit the roof and walls of my home. I would usually find it calming when I sat by the window and watched the drops of water fall from the sky.

My mind wasn’t on the rain like it normally would be though. I was worried about my ex-boyfriend as much as I hated to admit it. He crossed my thoughts even though I wished I could get him out of them. I couldn’t help but wonder if he missed me as much as I was missing him. I was even tempted to drive over to his house, but I had no idea how he would feel about that. I couldn’t even help but wonder if he already had someone else.

Happy was a member of the local MC, Sons of Anarchy, and he had a strong personality that was a little hard to get used to-oddly enough that was what I missed the most. He hated messes and always kept both of our places clean, making me help out. I didn’t mind it because he wasn’t making me do it myself.

My only problem was that I was always left questioning if he truly loved me. He just said that he loved me but never really showed it. It drove me crazy trying to what was going through his mind and what he was feeling. It didn’t seem to help me when his friends told me that Happy really did care about me. I found it cute how they described him before we met, but I don’t know if I could believe them. It just seemed that they were lying, so I would stay with him.

It broke my heart when I told him that I wasn’t sure if I should stay with him a month ago. I had cried almost every day since our last conversation, and I couldn’t help but hope to see his motorcycle in my front yard. I was disappointed every time I looked out the window in the hopes to see him again.

I felt a few tears slide down my cheeks. I missed him a lot more than I thought I would, and it just seemed to get worse with each day. I got up, forgetting about the rain. It wasn’t very calming this afternoon even though that’s what I wanted it to do. The sound of my footsteps echoed on the walls as I made my way to the kitchen. Pulling a bottle water, I heard a knock on the door, and I slowly made my way back to the front of the house.

I sighed when I saw Juice, standing on the other side of the door. “What do you want?” I asked.

“What did you do to him, Gillian? He hasn’t been the same since the two of you broke up,” he told me, and I knew he didn’t expect to be invited into my home.

“What are you talking about?” I asked, not catching onto what he was saying.

“I’m talking about Happy. He’s always late and looks like he hasn’t slept in a month,” he explained. He was completely serious about his words, and there was no way that I could doubt it. “He loves you, Gillian!”

“So why didn’t he show it?” I was getting tired of having Juice standing in my doorway. I found it annoying being told by someone else how much Happy felt about me. Hell, I couldn’t understand why he even bothered to show up at my door.

“He did, but he’s not the kind of guy who always clinging to your side and buy roses every day. He is just the type to tell you that he loves you and softens up towards you a lot more than how he treats anyone else,” he pointed out. “Just go talk to him.”

I watched him walk back to his motorcycle as I started let his words sink in. Was Happy really missing me? I didn’t know what to think. Even though I knew that I should get in my car and see if it’s true, I went to my room and wondered what I should do.