Feed the Fire

On the plane ride home the next day, the mood in the air was one of ambivalence. Tre and Jill sat huddled together, even though Jill hated Sabrina she had no problem flying in Sabrina's private jet when needed. Bill and Adie napped together, being a picture of a perfect couple. Toby and his new boyfriend James were talking with Green Day's manager Bill and his wife; discussing the upcoming tour dates. Sabrina sat alone, staring out the window.

Mike and Beth sat together also but not looking as cozy as the others. Beth seemed edgy for some reason and Mike was trying to figure out what was going on. "Beth, I can't help you if you don't let me in," he reasoned with the young woman. "Why is everything such a big secret with you?"

Beth for her part ignored the man beside her and glanced out the window at the landscape far below; mentally ticking off the minutes that she still had to remain on the plane until her stop was up. She sighed as Mike tried again.

"Beth, please... let me in... this is the worst thing you can ever do to me... the silent treatment... I can't take that," he admitted quietly to her as he placed his hand to cover her own.

She finally turned to look at the man beside her. His eyes were bright blue and hopeful as he gazed at her. She closed her eyes and shook her head slightly, as if to clear out the thoughts bouncing around inside. "Mike, remember what happened during Christmas?" she asked. The man nodded as she continued, "I need some time... I still don't feel like I belong here and well... I'm still on the fence about ...us."

Mike looked crestfallen as he digested her words. "Okay. I plan on being here as long as it takes," he said with a confidence that he didn't feel.

"Stop it... Jesus Christ," she snarled. "Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. I can't take this lovey dovey shit." She turned back towards the window mumbling, "God I'm glad I'm getting away for a few days."

Mike just stared at her and shook his head at her words. He stood up and moved away from her and walked to where Sabrina was sitting alone and dropped into the seat next to her, leaving Beth alone and giving her the space she so desperately wanted.

Beth heard him get up and move away from where they had been sitting together. She closed her eyes as she tried to convince herself it was what she wanted; to be left alone. The woman heard the captain say that they would be landing soon at Plattsburgh and she couldn't wait to get off of this weird trip she had been on and get back to a more normal life back home.

In what seemed like an eternity for Beth the jet finally made its descent and finally landed at the airport. As the attendants opened the door and went out to pull off her luggage, Beth arose from her seat and grabbed her carry on and slung it over her shoulder. She waved a quick goodbye to those behind her and walked up the aisle to where Sabrina and Mike were sitting.

"Later Beth, see you back in Chicago for the next gig," Sabrina said to the woman standing there.

Beth nodded absentmindedly her reply and turned to the man who was avoiding her eye contact. "Don't call me, Mike. I'll call you," she said quickly before she continued down the aisle and out of the door of the jet and onto the tarmac.

Beth walked over to where her car was parked, in the lot designated for private plane landings. She pulled out her keys and unlocked her truck, tossing in her bags before moving to unlock the driver's side door. With a quick prayer to the car gods, she turned the key and hoped that the harsh winter weather didn't kill the 1995 Dodge Spirit's battery. Her prayer was answered when the car chugged its way to turning over and soon roared to life. After waiting for a minute she moved the shifter into drive and pulled out of the parking lot and left behind the 'Mr. Toad's Wild Ride' that she had been on for the last few months.

It didn't take long for her to drive into downtown Plattsburgh. She smiled as the small town came to life before her. "This is just what the doctor ordered," she said out loud to herself as she turned down the street which would take her to the record store and her modest apartment that was above it. She pulled into her parking spot and killed the engine in a quick twist of her wrist. She just about jumped out of the car, excited to be home and to have some normalcy.

It took Beth a second to find her house key as she stood outside the doorway which opened into the stairwell that led up to her second floor home. With a quiet "Bingo," sliding from her lips she found the key that would open up the door and inserted it into the lock. Just as she leaned into the door expecting it to open up, she realized with mild shock that the key wasn't turning in the lock.

"It must be frozen," she mumbled to herself as she looked around for something to warm it up with. Going back to the car she rummaged through the glove compartment until she found the small aerosol bottle which would help her in her quest. She walked back to the outside door and inserted the tip of the bottle into the lock and pushed in to have the bottle exhale its mist which would unfreeze the lock.

She once again put the key into the lock and tried to turn it again. Again panic set in as the key wouldn't turn at all. At a loss on what to do, Beth just stood there trying to fight back the raising panic which was threatening to overwhelm her. "There has to be a simple explanation to this," she muttered as she walked over to the door of the record shop. Pushing open the door she entered her old place of employment and looked around for who ever was working.

"Hello? Anyone home?" she asked loudly to the seemingly empty room.

"Just a sec," a voice from the back called. Within a moment the owner of the voice came into Beth's view as the young woman walked up from the back room and up to the counter. "Hi, what can I help you with?"

"Hi, my name is Beth and I live upstairs and my key isn't working..." she began to say before being interrupted by the employee.

"Umm, no. My name is Jenna and I live upstairs," the girl said butting in.

"No, I live there," Beth explained feeling the bile raise in her throat.

"Sorry lady, I live upstairs. The former tenant disappeared and never paid any rent and so the landlord kicked her out and let me move in since I worked here."

Beth just stood there in shock. "What about my..."

"... Stuff? I had to load all that shit up and the landlord tossed it in the dumpster out back. That is, what shit I liked and kept for myself," the young girl laughed. "You have some pretty 'out there' tastes." Beth just turned around and started towards the door ignoring the final words coming out of the new employee's mouth. "You need to call Butch; he is pissed since you owe him money..."

Beth walked out of the record store at a complete loss of what to do. Numbly she opened her car door and slid into the driver's seat shutting the door behind her. Without a conscious thought she started up the car and drove it out of the parking lot and back onto the road. She had no thought of what she was going and as if by autopilot she maneuvered the car to the interstate and started to drive south.

October 7th seemed to come too quickly for Sabrina as she walked backstage at the arena in Chicago. She wasn't really paying attention to where she was going and had no place to go at that moment in time. She ended up outside Green Day's dressing room not remembering how she got there. With a quick knock at the door she opened it up and walked in the lion's den. Glancing around the room her eyes spied Mike and she moved over to where he was sulking on a couch. She dropped down next to him rousing him briefly out of his musings.

"Hey Michael, how's the twig and berries hanging?" she asked nudging him in the side.

The tall man snorted and chuckled a bit. "They hang to the left," he said and then smiled broadly before adding, "but you already knew that."

It was the woman's turn to laugh and she drew the attention of those seated around her. She blushed a bit at the extra eyes upon her before turning back to the bass player. "Have you heard from her?"

Mike closed his eyes and shook his head at Sabrina's question. "No, I haven't talked to her since the being on the jet. She never called me and let me tell you, I'm kinda worried about her," he sheepishly admitted. "Have you heard from her?"

"Nope, that's why I was hoping you had. She's not here yet and her cell phone must be out of commission cause when I try to call it get a recording, 'The cellular customer you are trying to reach is not available at this time'. I don't know if it's disconnected or she isn't answering."

The man shrugged, "I dunno. I just hope she's okay."

When it was time for sound check, Beth still was a no show. Everybody was now worried about the young woman, everyone but Jill who was more than happy that one of the two people she hated were not there. Sabrina and her remaining band started their sound check with the older woman playing guitar for the first time this tour.

Spyder, her guitar tech was surprised when she asked for one of her acoustic guitars from the guitar crate. He scrambled to fill her request and gave her the guitar and then went to ready the others in case she called for them during the show.

When they finished Sabrina decided to get down to business on trying to find just where Beth was and what had happened to her. She sat down in her dressing room with Toby and Mike and pulled out her phone dialing a number of a person who might be able to help. She clicked it on speakerphone so the men sitting next to her could listen in. A few rings went by before a male voice picked up and answered with a hello.

"Hey John, its Sab. How's it hanging?"

"While I live and breathe, it's Ms. Sanders. It's still hangs quite nicely, thankyouverymuch," he chuckled. "Though asking me how my dick is hanging must not be the real reason you called."

"Guilty as charged. I'm calling to see if you have seen Beth anywhere in town. She hasn't called anybody and her phone is out of service."

"Hmmm, no actually I haven't seen her, but if you want I'll take a quick ride over to her place and see if she's there."

"God bless you John, I was hoping you could do that. Give me a call when you
know what's going on okay?"

"Yea, I'll call you back in a few," John said before he hung up the phone and went on his quest. The three people in Chicago sat at the table silently as they waited for word on the missing young woman who had made her mark upon them. The minutes went be as slowly as they ever had until finally Sabrina's phone rang signaling the return call from John.

"Speak to me baby," Sabrina joked.

"I got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?"

"Oh god... does it matter either way?"

"Actually nope it doesn't Sab. The good news that the record store employee did see Beth earlier in the week, but she left as soon as she found out the bad news."

"Which was?" Mike asked wanting to know what happened.

"Hey Mike," John said before continuing. "Beth booked it out of there when she found out that the landlord tossed her stuff out of her apartment and rented out to the new record store employee. So I called Butch and come to find out, Beth hadn't paid rent since October and didn't know what happened to her so he figured she skipped town."

"Oh my god, what about her things?" Mike groaned.

"He was pissed so he tossed her things into the dumpster, thinking she wasn't coming back."

"Does anyone know where she went then?" Sabrina asked getting concerned for her friend.

"Nope, no one has seen her, but I'll tell you what Sab; I'll do some checking around tomorrow and see what I can find out okay?"

"Thanks John, I'll owe you one," Sabrina said to her friend.

"No shit you do and I'll think long and hard on what you can do to make it up to me," John laughed.

"Great," she groaned.

The man laughed again, "I'll call you as soon as I find out what's happening. Talk to you then."

"Later John," Sabrina said and clicked off the phone. "And now we wait."

The tour continued without Beth. Madison, St. Paul, Cedar Rapids, and Des Moines all filled the rearview mirror and the month went on. John would call every few days; not having any luck finding out anything but still wanting to touch base with the worried people. Kansas City, Omaha, Winnipeg, Edmonton, Denver and Salt Lake City signaled the end of January with still no word on Beth.

Mike had been inconsolable without Beth around. It was obvious to all around backstage that Mike had the love sick blues and a bad case of it at that. He moped around not really interacting with anyone but only showing a bit of the old Mike when it came to show time. For those two hours, he morphed into the old Mike and was cheery and rocked his heart out. Once he stepped foot off the stage though he was like a balloon that suddenly sprung a leak, he deflated almost immediately and went back to the sad Mike; a shell of his former self.

Mike also 'moved' out of Tre's bus and onto Sabrina's. He and the older woman spent a lot of time together, fueling rumors they were having a relationship. Which wasn't the truth at all; they were best friends and were supporting each other in this time of misery for them both. Mike started going with Sabrina to her doctor's appointment so she would have somebody by her side. They were two peas in a pod; even sleeping in the same bed with nothing happening but just for the sake of having human touch and company; though this fact was not shared with the rest of the group.

The beginning of February came with the tour heading up to Vancouver. Sabrina with her legs draped over Mike's lap as they sat on a couch together in Green Day's dressing room. They didn't draw any attention from the others in the room. It was to the point that without Beth, Jill didn't have the need to bother Sabrina anymore; which was a blessing to the older woman.

Sabrina was now over 5 months pregnant and sporting quite the baby bump. The woman refused to wear maternity jeans with the fabric panel so she had customized jeans from Levi's that were made just for her and her measurements, so she didn't have to do the sweat pant thing. As she sat there on the couch her laptop was perched on top of her now bulging tummy.

Suddenly her laptop bounced around and almost slipped off from its place on her abdomen. The woman quickly grabbed for the computer and caught it before it tumbled to the floor. Mike roused himself from his book he was reading and looked at Sabrina, "You okay?"

When she didn't answer, he poked her legs with his book and tried again, "Sab, you okay?" She looked up into his face and he saw a look of wonder plastered across her features, making him cock his head at her, looking confused. When the woman moved her laptop to the floor his confusion grew even more. "Sabrina?" he asked again.

"Shush," she replied as she looked at her belly and concentrated on it. Mike looked at her and suddenly a smile crossed her face and she moved a hand to cover a spot on her body. The smile grew wider and Mike mentally 'DOH'D' himself when he realized what was going on; the baby moved and it was the first time she had been able to feel it.

She looked across the room searching for something and her slight lit upon the drummer and his girlfriend. Sabrina thought for a quick minute before calling out to him, "Hey Tre, you got a moment?"

The man in question stopped what he was doing and looked up, "In a sec."

"No offense, but a sec might be too late."

Jill rolled her eyes at Sabrina and nudged Tre, "We're busy."

The pregnant woman turned her gaze to the offending pest named Jill and shook her head. "Tre, please," she implored.

The man finally got up from the table where he and Jill were sitting and walked across the room to where Sabrina had now risen from the couch and was standing. When he got close enough Sabrina grabbed his hand and placed it on her belly and prayed to herself that the baby would do it again. After a moment, her wish was fulfilled and the baby moved underneath the drummer's hand. A smile spread over Tre's face as he recognized what was happening. He bent over and placed his face by where his hand was resting. "Hey little one, nice to feel you moving. I'm your daddy, nice to meet you," he intoned to Sabrina's belly. He was rewarded with another movement felt under his hand. He looked up to Sabrina's face, "He moved again."

"He?" Sabrina asked lifting her eyebrows at the man.

"Yes, didn't you know, I have boys," Tre said matter of factly. The woman nodded her head at the man who was standing there seemingly attached to her baby bump. Tre looked back up at her, "You don't believe me, do you."

"Nope, not at all," she said. "Seeing as how you had a daughter first, that blows your statement out of the water Tre."

"Well yea, got my girl first, so that paves the way for all boys now."

Sabrina laughed gently at his words, "We'll see Tre, we'll see."

Before everyone knew that after playing Tacoma and Sacramento, the North American leg of the tour was almost over. The musicians were able to go home to Oakland for the final two dates in San Francisco. Sabrina opened up the Oakland house for the first time in a long time and everyone went home for the first time since New Years break.

Sabrina and Mike were sitting at Rudy's having some lunch before driving over to the Bay Bridge to The Fillmore for sound check. They sat amicably as they ate their respected meals. As Sabrina dug into her salad she peered over to the man sitting next to her wondering where she would have been without him this last month or so. She had been thinking about something for a while now and finally decided to say it out loud. "Hey Michael, can I bounce an idea off of you?"

The man in question looked up from his burger and fries to give his attention to the woman. "Okay... shoot," he said as he gracefully chewed on a fry.

"I've been thinking about this for a while now and I need your opinion, okay?"

"Sab you know I don't give opinions to people," he said with a slight frown.

The woman rolled her eyes at the man, "Jesus Michael, I'm not asking for a kidney or anything. Just give me some feedback okay?"

Mike laughed at the face the woman had made, "Okay, okay. What's the idea?"

"I was toying with the idea of having the baby here," she said hesitantly.

"In Rudy's?" the man grinned. "That would be messy and I think it might be against the health code."

Sabrina had just taken a sip of her soda when Mike delivered his asinine remark causing her to snort with laughter and perform everyone's favorite party trick; the soda though the nose routine. She coughed and gagged slightly as she grabbed napkins and brought them to her nose to soak up the offending liquid. The man smacked her on the back a few times as if that would help the situation any. After blowing her nose a few times she swung out her fist and smacked the bass player soundly on the arm, "You fucking asshole."

"What?" the man asked trying to look innocent. When Sabrina shot him a dirty look he chuckled again. "I'm sorry, but you set yourself up for that one Sab. But seriously, any particular reason for that thought?"

"Yea, I was thinking everyone is out here and it might be easier for Tre's mom and dad to come down to see the baby then to travel out to New York. Besides, maybe if I have the baby here, Tre might actually be able to be there for the birth," she said softly.

"What do you mean Tre might actually be there? You don't think Tre would be there for the birth of his child?"

Sabrina shrugged her shoulders, "You know... Jill and all... " she trailed off and concentrated on eating her salad. Before Mike could answer her, the woman's cell phone rang. Sabrina dug into her pocket to find the offending creature and just about clicked it off before realizing that it was John calling. Quickly she hit the talk button and speaker phone before she placed the phone on the table between her and Mike.

As soon as the button was clicked John's voice filtered through, "I found her... "

"Where?" Mike interrupted.

"Hold on, lemme tell you the story, Mike. I asked around and finally caught a break when a neighbor of Beth's mom came into our morning breakfast spot and overheard Robbie and I discussing Beth. They said who they were and took our number to give to Beth's mom so she could contact us. That was over week ago. And before you bitch on why I didn't say anything... I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up until things panned out. I JUST got off the phone with Dawn; beth's mom. She said that she hadn't heard from Beth but said that she was probably with Maia; her cousin who lives... "

"In Albany," Mike supplied. "Did she give a number or address?" the man asked hopefully.

"Unfortunately no. BUT I took a wild guess and called information for a Maia Pritchard and low and behold; I got a number AND an address."

"I owe you big time John," Sabrina said.

"I know, and I'll collect one of these days or you could name your child after me," he joked.

Sabrina laughed, "I don't think Tre would go for that John, but you get an 'A' for effort. Thank you, but we got to go to sound check so I'll talk to you later ok?"

"Okies Sab, Later gator."

"In a while crocodile," Mike chimed in. As Sabrina hung up the phone, the man looked at her and began to sing, "I have a New York state of mind."