It Can Only Get Better
he's my rock
I lay there, the feeling of nothingness all around me. It’s worse than death. I would give anything, do anything, just for this not to have happened. She lost it. The three words that will haunt me for the rest of my life. Why me? Why my life? Why my baby. I looked over at dad. Tears falling down his cheeks. I reached over and grabbed his hand.
“I’m sorry dad.” I whispered. He looked up and met my gaze.
“No. Don’t ever blame yourself Sophie. Ever. This could happen to anyone. You have done nothing to deserve this, and you’ve certainly done nothing to bring this on.” He said, pushing my hair out of my eyes.
“I always seem to put you through grief though dad. Every couple of months I’m grabbing your attention away from everything else. You haven’t been on tour in years, and I know it’s my fault. I keep landing myself in here. Maybe everyone would just be better off if I wasn’t around. I could move out. I could move far away, and you wouldn’t have to worry about me. Joe could get on with his life too. I just keep bringing everyone down, and it’s not fair on anyone.” It’s true, every time the slightest thing happens to me, everyone’s jumping through hoops.
“No Soph. You mean everything to all of us. I couldn’t live without you. When I got that call, my world came crashing down. I thought I’d lost you.” He paused, thinking for a moment, “…and the reason we haven’t been on tour in years, is because between the three of us, working out visas ain’t the easiest thing to do, especially when we’ve been chucked out of so many countries.” He smiled. It tried to, but nothing happened.
“So, where is Joey?” dad asked, “he left as soon as I got here.”
I looked down to my hands, they’d folded on my tummy, like they were so used to doing the past three months.
“I told him to go. He doesn’t need this. He should be out there, with a girl who isn’t so complicated. Someone he can love without the worry that he’ll spend more time in hospital than out.” I sighed, it’s for the best.
“No.” I looked up, Joey was standing in the doorway, Billie Joe and Adrienne behind him.
“I don’t want anyone else. I want you. That’s why I proposed, and I plan to keep that promise. This isn’t your fault. This wasn’t anyone’s fault.”
He walked over and sat on the bed, “look Soph,” he said, taking my hands in his, “I know this is hard at the moment, but we’ll get through it. And remember, I lost my baby today too, and I could have lost you. We’ll help each other through it, and when you’re ready…” he paused, looking round at his dad, “…when you’re ready, we’ll get married, and we’ll live that happily ever after we planned, with the million kids running around. Okay?” he finished, I nodded. He kissed me lightly, and ten moved to the seat beside the bed, taking my hand with him.
I looked up at Billie and Adie. I’ve never seen them look so proud, and dad for that matter. I smiled.
“Okay, now y’all stop crying.” I smiled. That’s all it took, all I needed was for my Joey to tell me it was ok. He’s my rock.
“I’m sorry dad.” I whispered. He looked up and met my gaze.
“No. Don’t ever blame yourself Sophie. Ever. This could happen to anyone. You have done nothing to deserve this, and you’ve certainly done nothing to bring this on.” He said, pushing my hair out of my eyes.
“I always seem to put you through grief though dad. Every couple of months I’m grabbing your attention away from everything else. You haven’t been on tour in years, and I know it’s my fault. I keep landing myself in here. Maybe everyone would just be better off if I wasn’t around. I could move out. I could move far away, and you wouldn’t have to worry about me. Joe could get on with his life too. I just keep bringing everyone down, and it’s not fair on anyone.” It’s true, every time the slightest thing happens to me, everyone’s jumping through hoops.
“No Soph. You mean everything to all of us. I couldn’t live without you. When I got that call, my world came crashing down. I thought I’d lost you.” He paused, thinking for a moment, “…and the reason we haven’t been on tour in years, is because between the three of us, working out visas ain’t the easiest thing to do, especially when we’ve been chucked out of so many countries.” He smiled. It tried to, but nothing happened.
“So, where is Joey?” dad asked, “he left as soon as I got here.”
I looked down to my hands, they’d folded on my tummy, like they were so used to doing the past three months.
“I told him to go. He doesn’t need this. He should be out there, with a girl who isn’t so complicated. Someone he can love without the worry that he’ll spend more time in hospital than out.” I sighed, it’s for the best.
“No.” I looked up, Joey was standing in the doorway, Billie Joe and Adrienne behind him.
“I don’t want anyone else. I want you. That’s why I proposed, and I plan to keep that promise. This isn’t your fault. This wasn’t anyone’s fault.”
He walked over and sat on the bed, “look Soph,” he said, taking my hands in his, “I know this is hard at the moment, but we’ll get through it. And remember, I lost my baby today too, and I could have lost you. We’ll help each other through it, and when you’re ready…” he paused, looking round at his dad, “…when you’re ready, we’ll get married, and we’ll live that happily ever after we planned, with the million kids running around. Okay?” he finished, I nodded. He kissed me lightly, and ten moved to the seat beside the bed, taking my hand with him.
I looked up at Billie and Adie. I’ve never seen them look so proud, and dad for that matter. I smiled.
“Okay, now y’all stop crying.” I smiled. That’s all it took, all I needed was for my Joey to tell me it was ok. He’s my rock.