When Does the Pretending End?

Lucy’s Pov

I look at the clock and it is 5 in the morning. Marcosa is laying at my feet and Cristiano is laying on his back with an arm draped over my stomach. It’s early Thursday morning and my mind is of course racing. I actually felt better after I spoke to Cris on Monday night about Lacey but then I got a phone call from Mum yesterday at work. The nerve of her. Both Josh and Tina know that I don’t want to talk to Mum although they think it’s because I found out she was having an affair when she was married to Dad and I’m upset about it. I never told them the truth. I never told the people I have being close to for years yet I told some guy I have known for a few weeks I think looking over a Cris. Talk about strange.

I lift Cristiano’s arm off my body and pull back the covers and head to the closet. I rummage through my suitcase that I brought back from mine yesterday and pull out the photo frame. “Hey what are you doing in here” Cris says making me jump. “Sorry did I wake you” I say. “It’s almost 6. How long have you been in here” he asks sitting down on the floor beside me. “About an hour I guess” I say. Wow I didn’t realise I was in here for so long. “What are you doing?” he asks. “Just thinking” we say together and he smiles at me. “There’s a surprise” he says. “Ya I guess I haven’t done anything else but think the last few weeks” I say to him. “You have a lot to think about. "

"What’s with the photo” he asks. “I picked it up yesterday when I stopped by my place. It’s a photo of Lacey and I” I say holding it out to him. He takes it out of my hands and looks at it. “The pigtails are cute” he says and I gape at him. “What?” he says. “Nothing. It’s just you’re the first person to see me in that pic instead of Lacey first” I say. “You look adorable” he says. “And Lacey looks hot” I say. “Hey if I say she does you are going to be annoyed with me and if I say she isn’t you probably will be annoyed with me so I decline to answer” he says and I let out a loud laugh. “Haven’t heard that sound in a while” he says and stands up. “Come on. Bed. You need sleep” he says holding out his hand and I take it. He walks us back to the bed and tucks the blankets around me. “You not getting back in?” I ask. “I was going to get ready but I do have time” he says walking around to his side of the bed. “Get some sleep” he says wrapping his arms around me and I snuggle up close to him.

When I wake I’m alone in the bed. The lion teddy bear is sitting on Cristiano’s pillow. I pick up the teddy and look at the clock. Shit it’s 11 o’ clock. Wow. I slept for a long time. I get dressed and head downstairs to find everyone. “Hello sleepy head” Dolores says as I take the last step on the stairs. “Hi Dolores” I say sheepishly. “You look relaxed” she says giving me a hug. “Ya. I didn’t mean to sleep for so long” I say. “It’s ok. You have the day off. You are aloud stay in bed” she laughs. “Come I’ll make you something to eat” she says grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the kitchen. “Lucy, Lucy” Rodrigo shouts running in from the garden.

“Hey Rodrigo” I say. “Carefully don’t get Lucy dirty” Katia yells. “What have you been doing?” I ask trying not to laugh as the mud dripped down his face. “I was playing football but Mama won’t play” he says. “But now you are up you can play with me” he says clapping his hands. “Rodrigo leave her eat first” Dolores says. “But Tío Cris said I couldn’t play with Lucy until she woke up. She’s awake now” he says and I laugh. “I’ll play with you as soon as I have eaten” I say and he nods. “Are you ok Lucy?” Dolores asks. I nod. “Cristiano told me about you sister. He wasn’t talking about you behind your back. He just wanted us to keep an eye on you” she says quickly. “It’s ok” I say. “If you want to talk about anything my ear is always open” she says. “Thanks Dolores” I say. “It’s my pleasure. Don’t be annoyed at Cris if he asks how you are all the time. He just cares. It’s nice to see him like that” she says. “I better find Rodrigo” I say.

I spend the rest of the day running around playing football and cars with Rodrigo. Elena and Josh sent me texts seeing if I was ok. I wish I could talk to Tina. “I’m going to give him a bath” Katia says pointing at Rodrigo. “Yeah sorry we got a bit carried away” I say taking in his muddy clothes. “It’s ok. I’m sorry about your sister by the way” she says. “Thanks Katia” I say. “It’s hard to lose a loved one” she says.

My phone rings and see it’s Dad that’s calling. “Hey Dad. How are you?” I ask. “I’m ok as I can be. How are you Lucy?” he asks. “I’m doing good” I say and to my surprise I felt that I was. “Hope you are spending the day on your own” he says. “No I’m spending the day with friends. I’m kind of glad too” I say. “That’s lovely. Lacey wouldn’t want you stop living your life” he says. “I know. So tell me how is your holiday” I ask and he begins to tell me all about the hotel and food in Malaysia.

A while later I turn around and see Cris walking towards me. He wraps a coat around my shoulders. “Enjoy the rest of your holiday Dad. Send my best wishes to Lisa” I say hanging up the phone.

“Hey. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt. I just brought this jacket out for you” he says. “Thanks” I say. “How was your day?” he asks. “Well I slept till 11 and spent the rest of the day playing with your nephew. So yeah I guess it’s been a good day considering” I say. “Good” he says. “We should go inside, dinner is almost ready” I say and head towards the door with Cris following me.

“Lucy I can’t find Nellie” Rodrigo says as I walk through the door. “Check under your bed” I say. “Who’s Nellie?” Cristiano asks. “My toy elephant that you brought me at the zoo” Rodrigo says. “Nellie the elephant” I say. “We were playing with Lucy’s lion but we couldn’t think of a name for it” Rodrigo says running back up the stairs. “I was thinking Leo or Lionel” I say grinning and Cris pulls me towards him. “Leo the lion. It has a nice ring to it” I say. “I might take that bear away from you if you’re not careful” he says. “No you won’t” I say smiling at him.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t around today. I had club sponsorship things today” he says pulling a lock of my hair behind my ear. “It’s ok. I’m not going to break you know, so there’s no need to worry about me” I say. "Leo the lion" he says shaking his head. "I like it" I say grinning. "Not a chance" he says holding me tight. “Hey Cris let her alone and come lay the table” Elma shouts. “The boss is talking” I whisper. “Don’t call her the boss” he says taking his arms away from my waist.

“Lucy do you fancy going shopping with us tomorrow?” Katia asks. “It will be a girly day out. Us girls and Máe” Elma says. “And me Rodrigo” says trying to crawl through my legs. “And you of course” Katia says rubbing his head. “Rodrigo has to come since Zé went Lisbon last night” Elma says. “I’m not sure” I say. “It will be fun please come” Katia says. “She doesn’t have to go if she doesn’t want to” Cris says. “It’s ok Cris. It might be fun” I say. “Good” Elma says smirking at her brother.

“Thanks for helping with the dishes” Elma says to me as I stand at the sink later on that night. “You’re welcome” I say. “Where is Máe?” Cristiano asks passing me on his way to the fridge but not before kissing my cheek. “Upstairs on the phone with Hugo” Elma says. “Right” Cris mumbles. “Maybe you should talk to him too little brother” Elma says. “Shit” she says as the glass falls of the counter making me jump. The sound of the glass. The memory of the sound, the smell, the screams I think I’m going to be sick.

“I’ll clean that up Elma. You go take this to Nuno” Cris says handing her a glass of milk. “Are you sure?” she says. “Yes now go” he snaps at her. “Hey it’s ok, it’s ok” he says taking my shaking hands out of the sink. “The glass” I whisper as he pulls me into his arms. “I know. I know. It’s ok” he says holding me close. “I’m going to for a shower” I say pulling away from him and I turn to run up stairs.